Of Emerald, Amethyst and Lapis
by Missterious Purrincess
Summary: In which Mrs. Bennet's ire to Elizabeth is greater, Darcy's father found out Wickham's true behavior, Mr. Collins arrived earlier, Caroline Bingley was not Netherfield's Mistress, and the Assembly was not Elizabeth and Darcy's first meeting. HEA. My first attempt at writing P&P Fanfic. Hope it's tolerable enough to tempt you to read!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! I'm new to Pride and Prejudice but I fell in love with the story and the characters most ardently to the point where my brain started coming up with little stories about Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy here and there.**

**Anyway... English is not my first language so forgive my mistakes and I'm still researching about manners and behavior regarding Regency Period so feel free to correct me if I am wrong.**

**This story is NOT Historically Accurate though I will try my best to make my facts right.**

**This story is product of my overactive imagination so please refrain from copying. (It may only be tolerable– but it's mine!)**

**WARNING: It will be very different from canon.**

**NOTES: Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are younger here than Canon. Elizabeth is eighteen and Mr. Darcy is almost twenty-six. As to why, I have my reasons. Also, Mr. Darcy's parents are alive in this story.**

**Now without further ado, enjoy or at least… try to :)**

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**Prologue**

One cloudy day in October, Claire Bennet lay quietly in her bedchamber at the Longbourn Dower House.

She knew her time was coming to an end.

Never had she expected that she would soon say goodbye to the world without even reaching the age of seventy. But then again, she had never expected to be ill.

Had this happened in her early thirties, she would not be bothered by the prospect of dying. After all, there was a time in her life when she wanted nothing but to leave the mortal world. However, now, there was someone who needed her.

As if on cue, she heard light footsteps approaching her chambers. Claire watched as the door of her room opened ever so slightly and moments later, music in the sound of the pianoforte reached the room.

The sweet child who was sharing her melody with her was the very reason why Claire found it difficult to leave. Elizabeth, or Little Lizzy as she fondly called her, was everything Claire had wished for and had wanted in a granddaughter so the thought of parting with her pained Claire.

Little Lizzy had been in Claire's care since infancy and the two of them were inseparable; Claire was not just Little Lizzy's doting grandmother but also her first teacher, governess, companion, confidant, and friend.

If Claire died now, how would Little Lizzy fare in the world? How could her dear granddaughter survive Fanny Bennet's censure? What would happen if Fanny becomes physical in abusing her Little Lizzy? And what of Thomas? Knowing him, he would always choose the easy way out. And Lizzy's sisters, surely they would be too scared to disobey Fanny when it came to Lizzy.

"Did you hear me practise, Grandma?" The sweet voice of her darling granddaughter interrupted her thoughts. Little Lizzy was grinning at her adorably, and only continued talking when she nodded yes. "Mrs. Winters said that music can make people feel better so I played for you. I thought that you shan't be sick anymore if I played just right so I was ever so careful not to make mistakes."

"Such a dear girl you are, my Little Lizzy." Claire smiled and opened her arms for her granddaughter, to which Lizzy eagerly stepped into.

That night, after putting Little Lizzy to sleep, Claire asked for some writing materials to be delivered in her chambers.

She would not let Lizzy suffer and even in her grave Claire would make sure that her granddaughter was well looked after.

And so, she started listing the adjustments she had to make on her Last Will for her visit with her solicitor on the morrow.

Fanny Bennet might try to make Lizzy's life miserable but Claire would counter it in every possible way she could.

First, Elizabeth would only have the finest clothes and the latest of its fashion.

A Footman and an Abigail would be hired just for her.

Lizzy would also continue to study with the Masters Claire had hired since Lizzy was four.

Sandra Winters would still be Lizzy's companion so someone would be able to shield her from Fanny's nerves.

Claire would also see to it that Lizzy could spend time with the Gardiners in London whenever she pleases.

And lastly, Claire Bennet would leave all her assets and saved fortune to eight-year-old Little Miss Elizabeth Artemis Bennet.

**-p&p-**

**Chapter One**

It is a truth universally acknowledged that smiles from Fitzwilliam Darcy of Derbyshire were elusive. Not once had the Ton seen him enjoy a ball or a gathering. His countenance was the likes of his father and grandfathers before him.

Stern. Formidable. Silent.

So naturally, when Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam – Darcy's older cousin and closest confidante –entered his cousin's study and found said cousin sorting out papers on his large wooden desk with a light smile plastered on his face, the Colonel was stunned.

It only added to his great surprise when Darcy greeted him with a lighter tone than usual and motioned for him to sit on the chair across him. Richard could only sit down and stare as his cousin procure a glass and a bottle from the shelves behind him and fill the glass with some brandy.

Finally breaking out of his trance, Richard furrowed his brows at the single glass on the table which Darcy pushed towards him. "No cups for you Darce?"

Darcy only shook his head, the corners of his mouth still turned upwards. "No, I don't think I'm in need of it."

His younger cousin's reply only served to Richard's greater confusion. What happened? Of course, he had seen Darcy smile before; they were as close as brothers after all. But Darcy never smiled more than once in a day. It was a like a rule.

"Are Aunt and Uncle returning to Pemberly soon? Have you heard from Georgiana today?" Richard could not help but ask, for surely his immediate family could only be the reason (other than the Colonel's stories and jests) for '_the_ elusive Darcy smile' to appear on more than one occasion in a spun of five minutes. But as far as he knew, Darcy's parents and sister were still going to stay in Scotland for at least another month.

"No, Richard. My mother insisted they wait until next month to return. I thought you knew about this already?" Though Darcy answered Richard, his attention was focused on the stack of papers in front of him, folding and unfolding parchments from time to time.

"I did." Richard confirmed, straightening himself and leaning forward to observe his cousin's expressions better. "But I thought I have to make sure seeing as you are acting strange today."

Darcy's eyes snapped at him in confusion. "Strange? How so?"

Leaning back on his chair, Richard pretended to study the glass of brandy he was holding as he searched his mind for words to explain. "I suppose it could be considered a normal behavior for most," slowly he looked back at Darcy who was waiting for him to continue, "but I've never seen you smile, no matter how small, for no reason at all."

Darcy froze at the Colonel's statement. Had he really been smiling? Was that why the house servants had been giving him odd looks all day. If so, why hadn't he noticed? But he went out today, was he smiling earlier when he left his house? He was certain that he was not. The only time he knew that he smiled was this afternoon at Hyde Park. His smile could not possibly last for hours, could it? What would his father say if he let his mask slip in public?

"You do not have any idea that you were smiling, do you cousin?" Richard's question brought him out of his thoughts. Darcy was instantly alarmed at the look his cousin sent him. He knew Richard and _that look_ could only mean trouble.

"Now tell me, cousin. How was your day exactly?"

Groaning inwardly, Darcy sighed and sat on the chair across his cousin. He knew that he could not escape Richard's curiosity. Even if he tried to, his cousin would still manage to get his answers. Choosing the lesser of the two devils, Darcy decided to give in.

Perhaps he needed a drink of brandy after all.

**-p&p-**

It was after Luncheon earlier that same day, when Ackerman the Darcy House's butler, announced the arrival of Mr. Charles Bingley – one of Darcy's closest friends. Unfortunately for Bingley, Darcy's Aunt and cousin also happened to be in residence.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh was not fond of Mr. Charles Bingley at all. And contrary to what many may believe, it was not due to the young man's roots from trade. Though that was still a factor, the main reason why Lady Catherine disliked Darcy's university friend was because of his character.

A man who smiled too much, Lady Catherine could tolerate. (She could, after all, tolerate her parson and his endless praises) But a man at the age of three and twenty who was indecisive and easily swayed by others was something, in Lady Catherine's opinion, that was not to be borne!

So when Mr. Bingley started talking along the lines of leasing an estate in a small county called Hertfordshire located on the North of London and was about to ask her nephew for help, Lady Catherine de Bourgh immediately joined the conversation. She started with telling them about what a coincidence it was for her parson was also preparing for a trip on the area.

She then kept on talking and talking jumping from one topic to another – a technique she had learned from a friend that was quite useful – before ending with a generous offer. "My Anne would make a wonderful mistress of a big estate and Netherfield does not sound that big at all. Oh, it would be perfect for practice." At the gentleman's puzzled look, Lady Catherine continued, "Is that not what you were going to tell my nephew? That you were inviting him for his assistance regarding the estate along with my daughter Anne to act as its Mistress?"

While Anne de Bourgh was normally quiet in company, she knew the look on her mother's face when she was scheming something. And upon analysing the situation and the hidden hopeful expression of her cousin – that almost made her laugh – she decided to help her mother. "Is my mother correct Mr. Bingley? Am I to practice managing an estate? It was so generous of you to give me such an opportunity."

As much as Lady Catherine hated it when Mr. Bingley could not man up and say what he wanted to, the trait did serve its purpose and Lady Catherine could not help but smile inwardly at the young man's almost spluttering reply. "Of course, Lady Catherine, I suppose my sister, Caroline, shall also learn many things from you and your daughter."

Lady Catherine almost could not supress an eye roll at the word 'sister'. The mentioned sister was why Lady Catherine was doing this after all. She would not let some greedy shrew get its claws on her nephew. So with a small smile at her successful plan, she clasped her hands and said, "It is settled then."

After Bingley had left, Darcy gave his Aunt Catherine and cousin a grateful look (to which the two ladies only laughed at) and told them that he was going out for a ride.

He rarely went out whenever he was in London for fear of encountering unwanted company. However, seeing as it was most likely to rain, he decided it would be a perfect time to head out. Darcy need not worry of getting sick for he had always loved the rain as much as Boreas, his trusted steed. Years of riding together in the rain had made them both immune.

**-p&p-**

"You know Darce," began Colonel Fitzwilliam with a smile, "as interesting as it was to know what Aunt Catherine did to rescue you from the claws of Miss Bingley, I know for certain that it wasn't enough to make you act like this."

Much to the Colonel's amusement, Darcy sighed, got up from his seat and got himself a glass of his own brandy before proceeding with the story.

**-p&p-**

Darcy's prediction about the weather had been correct and as he had expected, not one person could be seen when he and Boreas reached Hyde Park. Or so he had thought… for not more than a minute of their arrival, he heard a familiar tune being sang. He instantly held Boreas on his tracks.

He could not make out the words, for it was raining heavily, but there it was. At first, he thought his mind was playing tricks on him because he saw no one was there except for Boreas. Shaking his head, he looked up at the dark grey sky and watched as the rain poured down.

That's when he caught sight of her...

She was sitting on a branch of a tree with her back facing him. Her cloak was a dark green, blending in perfectly with the leaves and if Darcy hadn't heard her sing, he was certain that he wouldn't know of her presence.

As he listened to her, questions began to plague Darcy's mind. What was a lady doing out here in the rain? He was near enough to determine that her cloak was made out fine fabrics so he assumed that she was a lady of some means. But if that was the case, why was there not a maid or a footman to accompany her? And why was she up in a tree? It was not lady-like to climb trees.

Lost in his thoughts, Darcy did not realise that the lady had come down until she was standing on the wooden bench beside the tree. As if only realising she was not alone, the lady let out a sound of surprise making her fall out of the bench if Darcy had not come in time to steady her.

Darcy was about to inquire if she was alright when his eyes met hers. Instantaneously, his question was forgotten and all he could focused on was the pair of dark emerald orbs that was looking at him with uncertainty.

They stared at each other for quite some time before the lady lowered her head, her eyelids copying the movement, instantly obscuring the view of her entrancing eyes, and forcing him to shift his attention to her dark long lashes which were softly grazing her cheeks.

"I thank you, Sir, for your assistance." She said removing herself from his hold, looking at him once again. "I believe my companion must have now noticed my absence and a search party was now probably looking for me." The end she said with a light laugh that made her eyes sparkle.

Although surprised at her reaction, Darcy found himself smiling at her.

"Can I be of any assistance to walk you home, madam?" He asked once he regained his composure.

"I thank you for your offer," she began with a light smile, "but you need not fret, Sir, for I am sure I shan't stumble on my way home."

Before he could say anything further, she spoke again. "Goodbye."

With that, she curtsied and left.

**-p&p-**

"You mean to say that you are infatuated with a lady because of her fine eyes?" Richard asked in disbelief, not wasting a second, as soon as Darcy ended his tale.

"This is priceless!" laughed the Colonel when Darcy merely nodded to confirm his question. "Do you think your father would approve of your choice?"

At the unexpected question, Darcy raised a brow at his cousin. "I thought only a lady's imagination is rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."

Richard pretended to be offended at being compared to the gentler sex but Darcy ignored him.

However, when Darcy noticed that Richard was still looking at him expectantly, he relented. "By the fabrics of her cloak alone, she seemed to come from the first class of society."

"So your father would approve then?" Richard did not need a response for he knew enough about his Uncle and Darcy's silence to figure out what the answer was.

After a moment of silence, Richard asked again. "Are you planning on meeting her again?"

Darcy made a noncommittal shrug before answering. "Perhaps."

"Then, cousin," Richard began, patting Darcy's shoulder. "I must leave you to meditate more on the very great pleasure which a fair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow." After one last sip of his brandy, he placed the empty glass back on the table and straightened himself. "I believe dinner is ready and I am famished."

And as the door to his study closed, Darcy was left alone with his thoughts once again.

**-p&p-**

"Lizzy, are you still unwell? You seem out of sorts these past few days." After staying out in the rain three days ago, Elizabeth had caught a cold. Luckily, it was not accompanied by fever or else her Aunt Madeline and Uncle Edward would never let her out of their sights again. She could only be thankful that her Aunt and Uncle along with Mrs. Winters were not mad at her for sneaking out. But if the day in the rain was not her birthday, she was sure that the three of them would have, at the very least, scolded her. But since it was her birthday, she only received exasperated sighs.

"I assure you that I am quite recovered, Aunt." She did not want to worry her Aunt but Lizzy could not help but be lost in her thoughts. Her mind was frequently – and unconsciously – making her remember that day in the rain and the gentleman whom she had encountered. It was starting to irritate her, the flashes of the memories from this year's first day of September. Yet, at the same time, she could not fault herself for wondering about the first ever man she had ever talked to in the London society. It didn't help that his countenance was pleasant to remember...

"If you say so dear, but you are still refrained from venturing outside." This was said in a gentle but firm tone to which Lizzy only nodded in understanding. While she only had to deal with a cold from her 'unexpected' walk, Mrs. Winters had gotten a fever because of it. And though Mrs. Winters' fever broke out yesternight, she was still not well enough to do her duties as Lizzy's companion.

Madeline sighed at her niece's frown. It was really hard for her to deny Lizzy, who was like a daughter to her, almost anything. "However," Lizzy perked up at this and Madeline hid an amused smile. "If you are up for it, you can accompany me to your Uncle's Warehouse today."

The grin that appeared on Lizzy's face was answer enough.

"Come now and get dress. I will be waiting for you in the drawing room."

After eating the last bit of her food, Lizzy kissed her Aunt on the cheek and practically ran upstairs to change her clothes.

"Do not forget your cloak, dear!" Madeline called out.

**-p&p-**

The Gardiner Warehouse used to be a small warehouse located near Gracechurch Street no more than eight years ago. Over the years, the Gardiner's business grew and so, their warehouse was expanded and relocated. They still owned their old warehouse but at present, it was only used for storing common products.

After entering from the passageway specifically made for the Gardiners but before heading to Uncle Edward's study, Aunt Madeline gave Lizzy permission to roam around.

During her visits in London, the Gardiner Warehouse was the only place outside the Gardiner's Residence that Lizzy could explore without having anyone to accompany her (but only at times like this when her Aunt could tell that she's not acting like herself, otherwise her Abigail and Mrs. Winters would be with her). Like the paths in Longbourn, Lizzy knew the warehouse by heart and one of her heart's comfort were books so she headed to the part of the warehouse where the books that her Uncle would export were placed.

Due to her Aunt and Uncle's fear of falling under the wrong hands of people such as highwaymen and the cruel kind from the Ton, her adventures in London were very limited.

Lizzy could not blame them for being overprotective though.

About three years ago, her Uncle had been targeted by a powerful gentleman, who had been a business partner of an Earl at the time. It turned out that said man had been deceiving and stealing money from the Earl. When her Uncle Edward had exposed the man's misdeeds, he had been a threat in the Gardiner's life for months to the point that Lizzy had not been allowed to visit her favorite relatives for more than half a year.

Two years prior that, her Aunt and Uncle lost their second child when they had been attacked in their carriage. In her distress, Aunt Madeline had a miscarriage and had become anxious for all of their safety ever since. It was her Aunt Madeline who convinced her Uncle Edward to have a private entrance – as well as hidden passages – to be put to the new Gardiner's House and Warehouse. (Those things had proven their use when her Uncle was being hunted by the former business partner of an Earl.)

Because of these events, Lizzy knew that it was not impossible for her to be a victim of said kinds of men. If not for her relations with the Gardiners, then they would be after her for her inherited wealth. Albeit, she had yet to have access to it, it was better to be cautious.

Despite of these restrictions in Town, Lizzy still could not decide which place she preferred; being confined in London with relatives that loved her or walking freely in Hertfordshire with a family which half the members only tolerated her.

At least Longbourn's tenants liked her… And there was also Charlotte Lucas, John –

Before Lizzy could ponder more on her thoughts, a voice interrupted her. "Excuse me, Madam, but I believe the book I need is placed on the shelf behind you."

Turning around, she stifled a gasp of surprise as she came face to face with the stranger.

He was tall, dressed in a dark grey coat, with black curls framing his face and those familiar deep blue eyes… This time, she couldn't hide the gasp that escaped her. _He was the same handsome stranger whom she had met that day in the rain…_

Gathering her wits, Lizzy straightened her posture. "Pardon me, Sir." She began, moving away a little from the shelf. "Perhaps you could tell me the title of the book you require so that I may be of help to your search." There. That did not sound like she had fleeting thoughts of him since their first meeting, did it? Besides, for all she knew, he might not have remembered her.

Instead of providing a book title, Lizzy was surprised at the gentleman's reply. "I hope the rain didn't get you sick?" _So_ _he did remember her…_

"Only a cold but it was gone now."

The gentleman nodded.

"Now, Sir, would you like some assistance in finding the book you are looking for?" Lizzy did not exactly know what she was doing – why she was pestering the unknown gentleman in front of her and offering her assistance in finding his desired book. The only thing she was certain was that she was curious and intrigued.

He was the first gentleman she had 'met' in London. (Lizzy spying on Jane's 'suitors' every time her sister visited with her did not count.) After all, her Grandmother's Will stated that Lizzy should not be out in society until she was at least eight and ten years of age. And the day in the rain was the day of Lizzy's eighteenth birthday. She was just fortunate enough to encounter the handsome gentleman on the day she could finally be able to study the different people in the society outside of Hertfordshire, nay Meryton.

One of Lizzy's delights was studying the character of a person. She always challenged herself if she was a good judge of character.

When she was younger, she remembered laughing at the antics of the people around her just like her father. However, when her Grandma Claire found out about it, she was not happy at all. Lizzy's Grandma told her that; while it was alright to find some people's actions amusing, she should not make fun of them. Grandma Claire also told Lizzy that she should never generalised a person by their class nor should she judge them too quickly. And because Lizzy started helping with Longbourn's tenants at such a tender age, she mostly knew how to deal with different characters of people.

And by how she rightfully predicted how horrible Jane's first suitor was, Lizzy prided herself for knowing if a person had good intentions or not. This was why she was intrigued by the gentleman who found her in the rain. She had noticed, albeit vaguely, that he brought his horse with him on that rainy day and neither rider nor horse seemed bothered by the rain. What was a gentleman, whom she assumed belonged to the upper classes of society, doing out in such weather? Did gentlemen in his class always talked to unsuspecting ladies wherever they went?

"Are you a regular customer of the Gardiners?" His question snapped her out of her wool-gathering.

Perhaps he found it strange to see a young woman in the Gardiner Warehouse. After all, only a selected number of people were allowed inside. Normally, her Uncle and his associates would deliver the orders to nearby stores like the fabrics for Madame Gertrude's.

Nonetheless, Lizzy did not want to tell the stranger that she was the Gardiners' niece. Not only would her Aunt scold her for talking to a stranger, a man no less, but also because Lizzy still did not trust the gentleman in front of her yet.

"You may ask a question which I may choose not to answer." Summoning all the impertinent side within her to hide her avoidance at his question, Lizzy raised her brows at him. "Now tell me, Sir, do you always answer a question with one of your own?"

At the lady's question, Darcy felt himself color in embarrassment. How was he supposed to give her a book title when he had forgotten said title the moment he recognized her? Hence his behavior of answering her questions with queries of his own. He was trying to change the topic but it was of no use!

But alas, he was never good in social situations. Not even when said situation only involved himself and a stranger. A stranger with bewitching green eyes at that… Her purple cloak only seemed to make her eyes stand out more.

Wanting to end the awkward silence and for fear of embarrassing himself if he could not provide an answer, Darcy instinctively pulled out a book from the shelf, where the unnamed lady was standing by some moments earlier.

"What an unusual choice." He heard the unknown lady from beside him mused. "I thought a gentleman such as yourself _would not_ choose a novel for a reading material."

That's when he looked at the book in his hands. "_Pamela; or, Virtue Rewarded._"[1] Of all the books he could have taken from the shelf it has to be a novel… but at least it was not an improper novel. Heaven forbid if it was a scandalous one like "_Fanny Hill._"[2] Not that Darcy read that book or its kind. He only came to know of its existence because of George Wickham, when he and Richard were searching the scoundrel's room for evidence to use against that good for nothing – Darcy shook his head.

Now was not the right time to think about George Wickham… not when an unknown lady whose fine eyes was looking at him with amusement. He shifted his gaze to meet hers again, "And what would be your choice of reading material, Madam?"

"Oh, there are many things I have the pleasure of reading but as of late, I found this book…" she reached out for a book above the shelf beside her and showed it to him, "…engrossing."

"The Complete Farmer: Or, a General Dictionary of Husbandry,"[3] he read aloud.

"Yes, it helps me a lot in managing my father's estate."

_Managing her father's estate?_ This caught Darcy's interest. Not only did this unnamed lady beside him possessed the most bewitching eyes, but it seemed she had a fascinating personality as well.

"What an unusual choice." He said, eyes on the book, then his gaze met _those_ eyes again, "I thought a lady such as yourself _would_ choose a novel for a reading material… or perhaps, of plays and poetries."

_"_Oh yes, I do love reading the Bard's plays as well as other writers' works, but I must admit to finding the least pleasure in reading verses of poems," as she said the final words, he noticed that her smile faltered a little.

Curious at her expression, he asked, "But I thought poetry was considered 'the food of love'? And that was why it is generally liked by all, especially women."

"Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away."

**-p&p-**

More than two years ago, Elizabeth's opinion on poetry was different. She dearly loved to read, and at times when she had little time to do so, sonnets and short poems were the perfect choice – it did not require too much time reading and she could sharpen her mind by deciphering its meanings.

It was about a fortnight after Jane Rose Bennet's eighteenth birthday when Lizzy's feelings on poetry began to change. With Fanny Bennet's insistence, Jane had spent a month in London with Lizzy and the Gardiners.

Though her Aunt Madeline was still wary after the mishap with the Earl's business partner and was still not comfortable with receiving unfamiliar callers, Lizzy had persuaded her Aunt to grant Fanny Bennet's request – but only after explaining that Lizzy saw this opportunity as a way to get closer to her elder sister.

Their mother had always made sure that her favourite daughters – namely, Jane and Lydia – were separated from her least favourites. This was why Lizzy was never close to both her eldest and youngest sisters.

Mary, the middle child, was whom Lizzy was closest with. Their fondness of playing the pianoforte and love of reading united them. At first, Mary preferred Fordyce's "_Sermons to Young Women_,"[4] but after many times of reading with Lizzy, her choices of reading material widened. Lizzy and Mary would spend their time together either playing duets or debating with their Papa in Mr. Bennets Study.

The next sister closest to Lizzy was Katherine or 'Kitty' for short, the second youngest among the Bennet sisters. They bonded over Kitty's adoration for animals – mainly to Apollo, Lizzy's Steed – and Kitty's interest in fashionable clothing. Lizzy would buy fabrics for Kitty to experiment with and when their mother was not aware, she would also let Kitty ride Apollo.

Lizzy remembered being close to Jane as well, back when they were four or five. She wanted her and Jane to be like that again. She wanted to be close to all her sisters, even Lydia who sometimes annoyed Lizzy.

However, things did not always go as she wanted it to be and Jane's first suitor had proven that.

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**So, what do you think?**

**I changed the format because I've encountered some reviews that readers are having difficulty with the time line. Was this better?**

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**[1] **Pamela; or, Virtue Rewarded is an epistolary novel by English writer Samuel Richardson, first published in 1740. It tells the story of a 16-year-old maidservant named Pamela Andrews, whose employer, Mr. B, a wealthy landowner, makes unwanted and inappropriate advances towards her after the death of his mother. Considered by many literary experts as the first English novel, Pamela was the best-seller of its time. The feminist movement was beginning and the perception of women was changing from women as housebound housewives to women as intellectual and independent people. Industrialization resulted in a large increase in the middle class which changed the dynamic of class. _Pamela_ was one of the first pieces of literature to present these changing roles and represent women as moral and intellectual people who are capable of their own thoughts and emotions and not dependent on issue of class ascension is also addressed, as Pamela herself moves through classes during the novel. This drew the attention of many people, and is a large reason why it was received well by others and with high criticism by some.

**[2]** Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure—popularly known as Fanny Hill (an anglicisation of the Latin mons veneris, mound of Venus)—is an erotic novel by English novelist John Cleland first published in London in 1748. Written while the author was in debtors' prison in London, it is considered "the first original English prose pornography, and the first pornography to use the form of the novel". It is one of the most prosecuted and banned books in history. The book exemplifies the use of euphemism. The text has no "dirty words" or explicit scientific terms for body parts, but uses many literary devices to describe genitalia. For example, the vagina is sometimes referred to as "the nethermouth," which is also an example of psychological displacement. The novel was published in two installments, on 21 November 1748 and in February 1749, by Fenton Griffiths and his brother Ralph under the name "G. Fenton". There has been speculation that the novel was at least partly written by 1740, when Cleland was stationed in Bombay as a servant of the British East India Company. Initially, there was no governmental reaction to the novel. However, in November 1749, a year after the first instalment was published, Cleland and Ralph Griffiths were arrested and charged with "corrupting the King's subjects." In court, Cleland renounced the novel and it was officially withdrawn.

**[3] **The Complete Farmer: Or, a General Dictionary of Husbandry is an 18th-century dictionary, which dealt with all branches of agriculture. It contained various contemporary methods of cultivating and improving land; of breeding, managing, and fattening cattle; of curing the various diseases etc. The whole was ranged in alphabetical order, and everything, relating to the fame subject was contained in one article. It was supplemented with a Gardener's Kalendar for the use of farmers and others, which contained accounts of the work necessary to be done every month in the year, and accounts for the nursery and kitchen gardens.

**[4] **Sermons to Young Women (1766), often called Fordyce's Sermons, is a two-volume compendium of sermons compiled by James Fordyce, a Scottish clergyman, which were originally delivered by himself and others. Fordyce was considered an excellent orator, and his collection of sermons found a ready audience among English clergy and laity alike. It quickly became a staple of many Church and personal libraries.

**Soure: Wikipedia**

I just browsed the Internet on books during 1700 to 1800 and these are the products of those search. I was intrigued by Pamela so I mentioned it here and when I read the synopsis of Fanny Hill, George Wickham immediately came to my mind.

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**Any thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 1 - Lady Catherine convinced Bingley to have Anne as Netherfield's Mistress. Lizzy and Darcy met at Hyde Park. Darcy was intrigued by her fine eyes. Colonel Fitzwilliam teased him about it. Aunt Gardiner let Lizzy visit the Gardiner Warehouse and left her alone where she encounters Darcy again. They talked, not knowing each other's name. There was also a brief background about Lizzy being close to Mary and Kitty and not so much with Jane and Lydia.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

To anyone who had seen Elizabeth Bennet's smile after visiting the Gardiner Warehouse, they would have thought of it as Lizzy being back to her spirit after suffering from a trifling cold. But Alexa Digby was not just anyone…

Elizabeth had known Alexa, her Abigail, since she was seven years old. One cloudy day in March after visiting her estate, Claire Bennet brought a young Alexa to Longbourn Dower House. She had informed the household that from then on, Alexa would be staying with them and she would be trained as a lady's maid.

Lizzy had never really been close to Alexa. They were the very contrast of each other; the latter preferred staying in the house while the former longed for adventure. Whereas Elizabeth had too much energy to be in one place for more than five minutes, Alexa could stay on the same place for hours. Elizabeth could always find humor in every situation while Alexa rarely see the positive sides on them.

It was only after Claire Bennet's death that the two young girls found comfort in each other. Lizzy's sisters were not as close to their Grandmother as Lizzy was so they never understood her pain and grief. Alexa, on the other hand, did. Lizzy saw her crying by the window sill that unfortunate day, and with tears also spilling from her own eyes, she approached the girl.

That marked the beginning of their friendship.

Later on, Lizzy had learned that her Grandma Claire had rescued Alexa from an abusive relative who took Alexa in after her mother had gone. Her father, it turned out, was Claire Bennet's late steward, Mr. Digby, who had passed away a year before her mother. When Claire had heard of the news that Mrs. Digby had died, she had immediately set on a quest to find the Digby's only daughter. And after finding out about the abuse that Alexa had to endure by her nearest relations, Claire brought her to Longbourn.

With shared grief from the loss of Claire Bennet, the two girls became inseparable. Despite having the role of being Lizzy's Abigail, with Lizzy's insistence, Alexa had shared a few lessons of music, arts, and languages with her friend. And because Lizzy spent her time going back and forth from Longbourn to London, Alexa was always the one to accompany Lizzy.

So while Mary and Kitty were Lizzy's closest sisters, and Charlotte Lucas was her closest friend, Alexa still remained to be her closest companion and therefore the person who knew her best. That was why when her Abigail raised an eyebrow at her after returning from the Gardiner Warehouse (where she had her second encounter with the still unnamed handsome gentleman), Lizzy knew she could not keep her 'adventures' a secret… not to Alexa.

"So, Miss Lizzy how is Mr. Gardiner's warehouse?" asked her Abigail with an impish smile once they were alone in her room.

Instead of answering her directly, Lizzy arched her brow in reply. "You know, Alexa, you were never the prying kind of girl when we were children."

"That's because I never spent too much time with you back then. You were the only one to blame for my bold attitude in the present, Miss Lizzy."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. Despite their years of friendship and Elizabeth's protest to just call her 'Lizzy', Alexa insisted on addressing her as 'Miss' saying that boundaries between servants and Mistress should still be kept. Not that those said boundaries ever stopped Alexa from prying to Lizzy's business anyway… like now.

And even if Lizzy knew that she would eventually tell the events of her day to her prying Abigail, she wanted to prolong the moment before Alexa found out. "Is that your way of expressing your thanks in me, then?"

At this, Alexa frowned in confusion. "Thank you for what, Miss Lizzy?"

"If I was to blame for your behavior in the present, then surely you imply that I deserve gratitude for bringing you and Archie closer." Archie was the son of Lizzy's personal footman, Graham, whom Alexa had taken a liking on. "You did tell me that he liked your bold attitude." This elicited a blush from Alexa to which Lizzy laughed.

Alexa, in turn, slapped Lizzy's arm lightly before going behind her to untie her corset. "Stop teasing me, Miss Lizzy, or I shall start a conversation with you about that gentleman you met in the rain."

Lizzy almost let out an unladylike groan that would surely had Fanny Bennet dislike her even more. If Alexa had not been one of the people who helped her escape the house that day in the rain, then she would not have told Alexa about her meeting with the unnamed gentleman.

But Lizzy was the one who teased and not the one to be teased, so instead of a groan she replied with, "If that is a threat then you shan't ask me about my day in the Gardiner Warehouse earlier, otherwise you will no longer have power over me by using that certain gentleman as a feared discussion."

Feeling Alexa stopped in loosening her gown, Lizzy smiled. After a moment of silence, she was turned around suddenly to face an excited Alexa. "You met him earlier! What did he say? Did you talk to him? Does he remember you? Surely, he does. Did –" Lizzy raised a palm to quiet her friend.

She could hardly believe that Alexa was once the shiest and most quiet girl in her acquaintance. With a small smile playing at her lips, Lizzy answered, "Yes, I did see him again today, he remembered me, and we talked –" before she could go on any further, the bell for nuncheon rang.

"I suppose you think you are saved from my questions, Miss Lizzy, but do remember that I will also help you dress for dinner later. You will not escape me." With that, Alexa finished dressing her up and they both went down for nuncheon.

**-p&p-**

The next morning, her Aunt had once again asked Lizzy if she would like to visit the Gardiner Warehouse. Naturally, her Aunt Madeline had not done it willingly. It took Lizzy to sigh more than three times and a frown to never left her face until her Aunt decided to offer the trip.

And while Mrs. Winters can now join them for breakfast, she would not be accompanying Lizzy for the trip. In this too, Lizzy put to use her acting skills. At first she told them that she still felt guilty for causing Mrs. Winters to have a fever (which was true) and that she would not want to hinder any further recoveries of Mrs. Winters by exhausting her so soon. When that was not enough, Lizzy then promised that she would not leave the premises of the warehouse. When that was still not enough, she agreed to a compromise that since her Aunt Madeline would be busy doing business with her Uncle Edward, Alexa (since she would not be assisting Mrs. Winters anymore) should make sure Lizzy stay true to her words.

After all, everyone in the Gardiner Household knew that just because Lizzy did not escape yesterday meant that she would not today. And Lizzy knew that the reason why her Aunt left her alone yesterday was because her Aunt thought her to be out of sorts. Now, that Lizzy was back to her old cheerful self, protective Aunt Maddie was back too.

Elizabeth Bennet never broke her promises, this, Madeline Gardiner knew. But she also knew of her niece enough to know that Lizzy always find a way to outsmart people regarding her words so it was safe not to take any chances.

Of course, all of Lizzy's effort to remain (somewhat) alone for her stay in the Gardiner Warehouse were for her want to feel independent – which she rarely felt during her stays in London – and it had absolutely nothing to do with the hope of seeing a certain gentleman whom her overprotective Aunt would not allow her to talk to, even if she was now (technically) out in society.

The same man whom she spent too much time conversing on whether Benedick and Beatrice had begun to developed feelings for each other long before the two even know it and if Claudio's love for Hero was weak or not that had both forgotten to ask about each other's names.[1]

Perhaps today they could remedy that.

**-p&p-**

Remedy it, they did not; and Darcy was disappointed to once again go home without the bewitching lady's name. On second thought… he was only a little disappointed. After all, how could he find it in him to be disheartened when his hopes of encountering _her_ again today had come true?

Of course, he did not come to the Gardiner Warehouse on the sole purpose of hoping to see her again. No. Fitzwilliam Darcy was a man of duty and he had come again this day to fulfill the business that he had forgotten yesterday due to… _welcomed distractions._

While it was true that he was looking for a book yesterday ("_Guide to the Lakes"_ [2] by William Wordsworth – he now remembered the title of his original aim), that was just second to his business for coming to the Gardiner Warehouse. His priority for coming there yesterday was to inquire about the current status of the Gardiner shipments in behalf of Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam who invested in Mr. Gardiner's business.

Darcy still found it odd that his cousin always had time to make fun of him and at the same time _not_ have time for business affairs such as this. Not that he was complaining, for this errand had brought him the company of a certain lady who kept on disturbing his thoughts.

Speaking of said lady, it was not long before Darcy caught sight of her again. This time, she was wearing a dark blue cloak and he noticed that she was with an Abigail. However, upon seeing him, the Abigail distanced herself near enough distance to see them but still far enough not to hear them.

Certain that Richard's business affairs could wait, he decided to approach the cloaked maiden again.

"Are you a regular customer here, Madam?" The words left his mouth as soon as they finished bowing and curtseying to each other and Darcy silently cursed himself for not having more talent at opening a conversation. He had asked her that same question yesterday. Surely he could think of far better words to engage her in a discourse. Not that he wanted to impress her or anything.

"Are you?" She did it again, raising an eyebrow as if to challenge him. This was why Darcy wanted a good starter of a conversation, so he could show her that he could match her in a verbal battle.

"Do you always answer a question with one of your own?" Darcy questioned in response remembering she had said something like that yesterday.

This time, the lady put a hand on her hip and with a smile she replied. "Do you?"

"I supposed that is one way of answering my question."

"Indeed it was, Sir," she said never taking her eyes of him, "but it was only I who answered your questions and 'twas not fair that you did not do the same in my inquiries."

At this Darcy was the one to raise his brow with a small smile of his own. "Was it not?"

From there, the subject of their talk continued from where they left on yesterday, which was about how was it that many characters – especially males – easily believed that Hero was impure and that her father condemned her with very little proof.

Somehow, their talk of men's little faith in women led them to a conversation about what an accomplished woman ought to be in the society. Darcy, of course, being in a prominent family, stated his father's opinion (which was also his opinion on the matter) to the lady beside him and he watched in fascination as her vibrant green eyes sparkled with determination to contradict him.

As she explained her opinion on the subject, Darcy was surprised to find himself agreeing to _some _of her sentiments. When she noticed this, she gave Darcy a triumphant smile that made him feel like he did not lose a battle at all.

So caught up they were in their debates that only when she disappeared out of his sight after bidding him goodbye did Darcy remembered that he still do not know her name. And it was only when he stepped foot in Darcy House did it occur to him that Richard's task for him was still unfulfilled.

Well… it looked like he would have to go to the Gardiner Warehouse again tomorrow.

With a smile on his face, Fitzwilliam Darcy headed to his study to write his daily letter for his mother. He could not wait for tomorrow to come.

**-p&p-**

When tomorrow became today, Darcy found himself in the Gardiner Warehouse once again. But unlike the day before, this time, he was actually disappointed; not only did he not know the name of his cloaked maiden but she did not show herself that time.

Meanwhile, as Fitzwilliam Darcy boarded his carriage to return home (once again 'forgetting' to accomplish the favor his cousin had asked of him - in his defense, Richard did not say that it was urgent), sitting in her chambers was one amused Elizabeth Bennet who was being questioned by her Abigail.

"But you saw him yesterday; you should have gone today as well." Alexa insisted as she braided Lizzy's dark tress. The Abigail was more than happy to accept Mrs. Gardiner's idea yesterday which was to accompany her Mistress and friend to the Gardiner Warehouse. And to her luck Miss Lizzy's new acquaintance was present too and she saw how her Mistress and the gentleman conversed! There was _something_ there and Alexa knew it.

"You very well know that I couldn't, or else Aunt will suspect a thing. I only visit the warehouse three times a week and though yesterday was only my second visit, I never go there on consecutive times remember?" Lizzy explained looking at her Abigail through the vanity mirror. "Besides, we do not know for sure if my newly found friend is to visit again this day."

"Then you should've asked him about that yesterday."

At this, Lizzy turned to face Alexa and with a laugh she said, "You sound like Mama trying to match-make Jane."

"But is he not your prince charming, Miss Lizzy?" Alexa asked with a teasing smile. "He did show up at the day of your eighteenth birthday and then you met him unexpectedly in your Uncle's Warehouse – twice now. Next thing you know he'll save you from the evil clutches of Mrs. Bennet and her poor nerves!"

Lizzy, despite her good judgement laughed at Alexa's words but not after hitting her lightly with the pillow placed on her lap. She knew very well that her Abigail loved the classic story of the prince rescuing a princess. And combined with Alexa's fresh feelings for Archie, Lizzy knew her maid could not help it but be a romantic.

"Mama's nerves may be poor indeed, Alexa, but she is not evil." Alexa gave her an incredulous look but she continued to talk, "And keep in mind that my newest acquaintance, though he may be a gentleman, is only my friend."

Alexa kept silent but did not hide her eye roll. She knew Miss Lizzy well enough not to contradict her verbally. After what she saw at the Warehouse yesterday, Alexa will just have to keep watch of the situation and prepare herself for the last laugh.

**-p&p-**

Three weeks had passed since Darcy's first visit at the Gardiner Warehouse and while he had been fortunate enough to have little encounters with the same cloaked lady almost every other day in these past weeks; Darcy had yet to know the delightful lady's name. Nor had she learnt his.

In their first few meetings, both he and the lady did not ask for each other's name – whether they kept forgetting or they did not bother at the time, Darcy did not know. He did try to hint that he wanted to know her name when he remembered about not knowing it but she diverted their conversation into another topic. After that, he did not attempt to ask her again for fear that she might stop their 'accidental' encounters in the Gardiner Warehouse.

Thank goodness that his footmen and coachman were too trained in their jobs to inquire as to why he kept on going back to the Gardiner Warehouse three times a week. Darcy knew his employees were smart and they would be able to determine that a business deal would not have taken weeks. Even if it did, he could always finalise the details via missives. If that was not enough to make them suspicious, the fact that he had been caught smiling on more than a few occasions would surely arise some questions.

He was also lucky that his Aunt Catherine and Cousin Anne had decided to move to Matlock House to spend time with his Aunt Elinor until their departure for Hertfordshire so no one would be able to suspect his actions. Richard was another matter to be dealt with. The Colonel was teasing him about his smiles again. Especially when the Colonel learned that Darcy '_accidentally'_ (and definitely _not intentionally)_ forgot about the business meeting he was supposed to have with Mr. Gardiner on more than one occasion.

"Come now, Cousin, I thought you disliked smiling for it contorts the face?" This was the exact wording Richard would use every time Darcy's lips would threaten to twitch into a smile. Darcy had to endure it, otherwise, half the family – if not the whole family– would know of his… _ventures_ already.

And Darcy wanted anything but that… especially if this reached his father's ears.

Though it was uncommon for a gentleman in his sphere, or in any sphere for that matter, to interact continuously with a lady whose name he did not know, Darcy could not find it in himself to avoid his unnamed acquaintance. In fact, if Fitzwilliam Darcy was going to be completely honest, he was enjoying this mysterious charade they were playing.

For Darcy's part, he liked that for once he was not perceived based on his social standing. (While he was proud of who he was and his family, he could certainly use a break from matchmaking mamas and other fortune-hunting people.) Though his clothing showed his place in society, the cloaked lady in possession of dark green eyes seemed to pay it no mind for she teased him, challenged him, and even laughed at him. He revelled at the way she treated him. She did not cower easily nor did she agree to everything he had to say. She was a breath of fresh air from the polluted Ton.

As for the lady's part, Darcy could not figure out why she was against to letting her identity be known. At first, he had thought that maybe the lady was laying a trap for him – cornering him in a secluded part of the warehouse and then compromising him. He had thought that the air of mystery she surrounded herself with was a way to lure him, like a siren to a sailor. But those assumptions quickly disappeared whenever his eyes met with hers.

Those green eyes looked too genuine to be deceitful. Besides, if she did want to compromise him, surely she would have done that by now. He was not easily caught by a pretty face or a simple smile like Bingley often was, so Darcy can safely say for certain that he will know if his mysterious lady had an ill will against him. He did suspect, however, that she might be hiding from someone for she always moved away from him whenever footsteps began to approach their direction.

Perhaps she was not yet out and therefore was not allowed to talk to men?

The thought was like a splash of cold water to Darcy. Good grief! He had not been meeting with a girl who had not been presented, had he? Surely, with the kind of clothes she was wearing, she belonged to the known member of the society. And every upper class of society held balls for their daughter's coming out.

If she had come out, surely he would have heard of it. She looked to be about twenty at most; therefore she should be out by now. But then again, he was never one to attend balls unless forced, so how would he know? But if she was out, his Aunt, Elinor Fitzwilliam, the Countess of Matlock, who was known as one of the 'leaders' of the Ton, would undoubtedly know about her.

If his Aunt Matlock had indeed known her, then the Countess would not stop pestering Darcy to meet her. For Darcy was beginning to see _her_ as his equal, it was obvious that they both matched each other's wits in different discourses. And knowing his Aunt Matlock, she would see what Darcy was seeing as well.

As Darcy let out a groan and sat on his chair, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam entered Darcy House's study with a smirk. "So Cousin, are you still _purposefully_ forgetting the errands I asked of you as an excuse to see your mysterious lady?"

In response, Darcy only groaned again to which the Colonel chuckled at.

**-p&p-**

Meanwhile, Anne Margaret Darcy née Fitzwilliam was sitting in her private study when the most awaited letters from her beloved son arrived. Not wasting a moment, she broke the first seal and began reading its contents.

She had made a deal with William to write to her every day. And because Farris House was more than a long distance from Darcy House, she had asked her son's messages to be delivered every two weeks. Nonetheless, it did not escape her notice how this recent pile of messages seemed thicker than usual.

To her surprise, the context of the letters sounded… off. Not in the way that she would have left Scotland for London in haste to check whether her only son was faring well, but in a way that she felt giddy for she suspected that her son might be… interested in someone.

After all, she was sure that William would not have asked as to which story she preferred – "_Pamela; or, Virtue Rewarded_" or "_An Apology for the Life of Mrs. Shamela Andrews_"[3] – if he had not found someone to converse it with. And that someone must certainly be a woman. Anne could count on one hand the number of men who would have no problem in discussing novels and none of them were with William so it must be a lady.

If that was not enough evidence, part of William's second to the last missive was more than enough for her to suspect.

oOo

_"A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address, and expressions._ _And to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading."_

_Mother, the assertion written above is how (as you well know) Father describes an accomplished woman. And you know that I believe in these too. But, what if someone mentioned these statements in front of a young woman? (This condition is hypothetical, of course.) And what if said hypothetical young woman thought these claims comical? Would you think that said hypothetical young woman too severe on her own sex, or not? Because that was my opinion at first, that said hypothetical young woman was too severe on her own sex. But upon further reflection, I've come to the conclusion that it is society that is severe on women for having such unrealistic expectations of perfection._

_Not that those accomplishments were too impossible to obtain, of course, for I have seen every trait of those 'requirements' in you (perhaps that is the reason why Father thought of those characteristics as the model of an accomplished woman) but I did come to a realization that society have such a long nonsensical list of what a woman should be and whether they attain all those achievements or not, they continue to not be regarded as a gender of substance._

_These sentiments are product only of random thoughts due to my observations, of course. For you know me, Mother, and I do enjoy observing those around me rather than interacting with them._

oOo

Anne knew her son very well. William could not fool her. Random thoughts due to his observations! Did her son think her so gullible to believe that? _'But if it is a lady that was causing him to act like this, then good for him.' _She thought with relief.

Another year of focusing into the family business and responsibilities and Anne would have thought her son, though she loved him very much, was not human at all. But she couldn't blame William for what he had become. It was, after all, her husband who had pushed and continued to push their son into this.

Of course, as a mother, she was proud to have raised a responsible and a good principled man. But even she knew that too much of everything was a bad thing.

Thank the Lord that George Wickham was finally out of their lives! Because of that cad, her son had learnt to grow up sooner rather than later. She wished she could have been there for William through his hard times as a teen but she was still recovering from giving birth to Georgiana and after that, she was too much involved with other affairs that she feared for her children's lives if she stayed too close to them.

It was one of her most horrible experiences – leaving her children with her husband while she stayed on their other estates. 'Twas only a year and a half before William had finished his studies that she found it safe to be with them again. But of course, she still found some time to meddle with the affairs she got involved with, hence her extension of stay in Scotland.

When the bell for dinner rung, she hid William's letters in a secret compartment that even her husband was not privy to. She would keep this little information to herself for the meantime. Besides, she was still not sure of her assumptions. For all she knew, William might have avoided another ball resulting in his cheery mood and the part regarding an accomplished woman may have been a product of his random thoughts after recalling his observations.

Regardless, she would not divulge this newfound knowledge to either Georgiana or George. They had their own letters from William anyway.

Seeing her husband already at the end of the table, she maintained a stern look. She was still mad at her husband anyway, one more reason to hide William's missives to her from him.

**-p&p-**

At the Gardiner Residence in Berkeley Square, London, Elizabeth kept on twisting and turning on her bed. It was nearing midnight but she could not find it in her to sleep. She even flipped her pillows multiple times but her mind would not let her rest.

She would be returning to Longbourn in three days.

Usually, this would make Lizzy sad for she would miss her Aunt Madeline and Uncle Edward along with her cousins. But that sadness would soon disappear when her thoughts drifted off to both Mary and Kitty, whom she knew needed her back.

If she was not the receiving end of their mother's ire, Mama made sure that Mary and Kitty were the next in line. Jane, though her presence calmed Mama, could do naught if Fanny was at her worse of moods. Lydia, on the other hand, could either distract their mother (by discussing eligible bachelors) or fuel her anger (by telling that Kitty or Mary would not let her borrow something she wanted). All that Papa could do was take Mary and Kitty in his study to escape.

Lizzy had tried to take her sisters with her to London but she understood that her Aunt had not yet recovered from the trauma of past events. Also, the tenants of Longbourn would not do well without her two sisters. Jane also helped sometimes, but Mama refused to let her beautiful daughters associate with the 'less pleasing' ones.

Her sisters should be the priority of her thoughts and worries. But as Lizzy walked towards her bedroom windows and felt the evening breeze blew past her, she could not help her thoughts to take a turn on a particular gentleman whose name she still had no knowledge of.

"Miss Lizzy, are you not going to tell the gentleman your name yet?" Alexa had often asked.

Lizzy wanted to, but if she did, he would find out that she was the Gardiner's niece. And if that happened, he would probably mention something to her Aunt or Uncle about knowing her. And if either of her relatives found out, she would be banned from leaving the house. It will be another case of Lady Amelia all over again. Besides, she was not exactly close to the gentleman to understand why she would like to keep their acquaintance a secret.

She just wanted to have a friend in town. Charlotte, the closest person to her outside of her family, was in Hertfordshire and Lizzy was always going back and forth between London and her home county. Yes, Alexa was always with her and they were close but there are things she wanted to discuss that her Abigail had no interest in.

Archie was the same case with Alexa. Mrs. Winters, though Lizzy cared for her companion very much, was not close in her age. Her cousins, as adorable as they were, were too young for her desired discourse. But her newly found acquaintance, though obviously older than her, seemed to share the same interests as hers despite their many contradicting opinions.

They had talked about different plays, authors, books, estate management, horses, sheep, fruit trees, food, crops, music, composers, inventors, politics, and even poetry. They had basically talked about anything and nothing at all. The only thing their conversations were lacking was personal information and family related talks.

She was really glad to have him as a friend. He who was her first and only acquaintance in London, he whom neither her Aunt nor Uncle had any idea about, he who had treated her as somewhat his equal, he who seemed to respect her opinion, he who was the reason her parting to London would be…upsetting…

Sighing, Lizzy looked up at the moon. Despite being fond of morning walks and the feel of the warm morning sun against her skin, she dearly loved the sky at night especially when the moon made its presence known.

Ever since she was a little girl, whenever she was feeling lost, she had this fancy belief that the moon will guide her. The same went if she ever had a wish.

The nights before her birthdays, she had also spent the late hours by her window gazing at the moon. And instead of wishing on stars, like most do, Lizzy wished on the moon.

On the night before her eighteenth birthday, she had wished for a friend. That was why she sneaked out of the house, with some assistance from both Alexa and Archie. She immediately headed to Hyde Park knowing that she would find people there.

But probably because of the looming clouds and the eventual downpour, she had found none. So she proceeded to climb a tree where she spotted a bird's nest. Perhaps, little birds were all she was meant to find that day. And to her delight those birdies were not frightened by her presence.

That was why Lizzy decided to stay seated on the branch. When she was little, she and Grandma Claire would do the same – climb a tree, find a stable branch, and sing. This year, in place of her Grandma's presence were the birds.

Lizzy paid no mind to her soaked clothes. That moment was one of the most times of freedom she had ever experienced in town and nothing could ruin it for her. She was enjoying her time with her little animal companions so much that when she climbed down, she didn't notice another presence.

The moon had granted her wish – for she crossed paths with a gentleman that day, the same gentleman whom three days later became one of her favorite conversationalists, therefore becoming her friend.

This night, however, she wished for the moon's guidance. Using her imagination, Lizzy pretended that the moon was gazing upon her, calming her mind. Closing her eyes, Lizzy focused solely on the darkness. Then pretending to have a magic affinity, the moonbeams slowly entered that never ending dark, lighting a path for her.

Laughing slightly at her silliness, Elizabeth opened her eyes and smiled at her beacon. She had made a decision.

She was going to reveal her identity to the unnamed gentleman before she left London for Hertfordshire.

* * *

**[1] **Benedick, Beatrice, Claudio, and Hero are all characters from _"Much Ado about Nothing" _\- a comedy by William Shakespeare thought to have been written in 1598 and 1599, as Shakespeare was approaching the middle of his career.

**[2]** "_Guide to the Lakes_," more fully "_A Guide through the District of the Lakes_," William Wordsworth's travellers' guidebook to England's Lake District, has been studied by scholars both for its relationship to his Romantic poetry and as an early influence on 19th-century geography. Originally written because Wordsworth needed money, the first version was published in 1810 as anonymous text in a collection of engravings. The work is now best known from its expanded and updated 1835 fifth edition.

**[3]** "An Apology for the Life of Mrs. Shamela Andrews" or simply "Shamela," as it is more commonly known, is a satirical burlesque novella by English writer Henry Fielding. It was first published in April 1741 under the name of Mr. Conny Keyber. Fielding never admitted to writing the work, but it is widely considered to be his. It is a direct attack on the then-popular novel "Pamela" (1740) by Fielding's contemporary and rival Samuel Richardson and is composed, like Pamela, in epistolary form.

* * *

**Any thoughts? If you're worried about our Lizzy and Darcy still not at each other's throat, worry not because we'll get there soon.**

**Sorry if the updates are slow but I don't want to go Charles Bingley on you guys (You know, constant at first then will suddenly disappear?). This is a Work in Progress story and I'm aiming to be a Fitzwilliam Darcy in terms of writing (Slow but committed).**

**I'm really learning a lot of literature pieces as I continue on this story!**

**Anyway, so there we have a little background about Mama Darcy... also, if you think our Darcy and Lizzy are OOC for still not knowing each other's name then, all I can say is that I think I gave them reasons that are justifiable enough. (Lizzy's other reasons for not telling her name will be revealed in the next chapters.)**

**So, what do you guys think?**


	3. Chapter 3

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 2 - We met Alexa, Lizzy's Abigail who ships Darcy with Lizzy. Our favorite couple met again and conversed with each other, still not knowing who the other was. Darcy (intentionally) forgot about the real reason he came to the Gardiner Warehouse which was running an errand for the Colonel. Three weeks had passed since Lizzy and Darcy's first encounter at the Gardiner Warehouse. Mama Darcy was introduced and she suspected that her son was finally interested in someone other than work. Lizzy could not sleep and ended up deciding that she would reveal her identity to Darcy the next time they meet.**

**Anyway, I'm not gonna delay it any further so enjoy reading :)**

* * *

While being in a foul mood was fairly normal for his younger cousin, it was a rare case to one Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam. He preferred to use a logical approach in every situation he was in rather than let his emotions get a hold of him. His playful manners also made him got used to being the annoying one rather than the one being annoyed. However, even Colonel Fitzwilliam was human too, and he was free to have his bad days every once in a while.

This day was one of those days.

First, he found out that Lady Catherine was not playing around about having his cousin Anne as Netherfield Park's mistress. When Darcy first told him about it, he was amused with his Aunt's antics – after all, this was not the first time she had saved Darcy from fortune-hunting shrews like Caroline Bingley. That was why Richard had thought that Lady Catherine was only saving Darcy in the spur of the moment.

Surely his Aunt would have concocted a better plan later on how Darcy could avoid Miss Bingley and would have made an excuse about she and Anne being indisposed so she would not fulfill her words. After all, Lady Catherine might be sometimes rude but she always kept to proprieties. Also, Anne being the mistress of Netherfield could as well be a declaration of something between her and Mr. Bingley. And there was nothing between Anne and Bingley. However, there was something between Anne and himself… something of which his Aunt Catherine knew of.

This was why Richard came to know that Lady Catherine was doing this on purpose. That, and because when he tried to talk her out of it, she only responded with a smug look. His Aunt was hitting two birds in one stone – getting Darcy protected from the claws of Miss Bingley and at the same time daring Richard to act and secure Anne. And she was not even hiding her looks of triumph from him!

Of course, Richard loved Anne de Bourgh and he wanted nothing more in the world than to have her as his wife and start a family with her… but Richard also had his job… and his pride. He wanted to prove to the family that he could provide for Anne and himself. That he did not need her dowry or Rosings to be able to give her a comfortable life. While his father, Lord Matlock, was generous on his settlement on his second son, and Darcy's father was also there to support him, the Colonel wanted to ensure that all his children (should they be blessed with many) would be all provided for adequately.

He was close to achieving his goal – perhaps just another year or two more… but Lady Catherine's move changed that. He was going to have to move faster if he wanted Anne, because while he had no doubt of her affections towards him, society would make it harder for him with her acting as Netherfield's mistress.

What was Bingley thinking, agreeing to his Aunt's idea in the first place? While Richard understood that Bingley's friendship with Darcy balanced their attitudes, he sure would like to smack some sense into the former in hopes of making him grow some backbone!

If his Aunt would not put an end to this ruse, then he would. He would find a way to get Anne out of this ridiculous offer that Bingley had so foolishly agreed to. It mattered not if this would make Caroline Bingley the mistress of the estate. Richard could help Darcy in avoiding her but he would not give up his Anne and surrender her to society's false expectations.

Fortunately for him, 'twas easy enough to have Bingley agree for him to tag along. What was not easy, however, was the second thing that put him in a foul mood – prying information out of his cousin. What happened on the twenty-seventh day of September, Richard did not yet know, but he certainly intended to find out.

The morning when Richard visited Darcy on the particular date mentioned, the latter was smiling before he left. A smile that was more than noticeable which made Richard thought Darcy that would become a second Bingley. However, that same evening when Richard came to see his cousin and pester said cousin about his mysterious lady, gone was the smiling man.

In fact, Richard could not find traces of that man at all. He was replaced with the same old cousin Richard knew, but worse: He was more irritable, more serious, quieter… more Darcy! And by Jove, Richard would lessen his teasing if it meant having his smiling cousin back.

**-p&p-**

If their companions on the journey to Hertfordshire thought that Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam was in a bad mood, then that bad mood was nothing compared to Fitzwilliam Darcy's. Even Caroline Bingley, who had her cap set on him, was wary of his stern demeanor and remained quiet.

Not wanting to irritate the two gentlemen further, they all agreed to their request of riding on their own horses while the others travelled in their own carriages – the de Bourghs with their parson, Mr. Collins, on one and the Bingleys and the Hursts in the other.

Darcy used their travelling time to sort out his thoughts – preferably to divert himself from thinking about a certain lady whose green eyes showed itself even when his eyes were closed, the same lady whose tinkling laughter haunted him in his dreams, the first lady who managed to engrave her name into his mind.

Elizabeth…

Weeks before, there was nothing that he wanted more than to know her name. So that he could finally put a name to her beguiling face instead of calling her 'his cloaked maiden' or 'his mysterious lady' in his mind. He had thought that perhaps, once the mysteries regarding her origin were answered, then she would pester his thoughts no more.

How wrong he was… for now that he knew her name, he found it more difficult to dissuade his mind from thinking of her. It seemed that everything around him wanted to remind him of her. From the trees that reminded him of their first meeting, to the roads and pathways ("_I'm very fond of walking…_"_)_, to his own horse (_"Unlike your Boreas who is a handsome dark steed, my Apollo, to match his namesake is cream-colored."),_ to the fields they passed by (_"It took me two full years to convince him that we needed to change the crops…") _to –

Darcy shook his head. He really should not be thinking about her right now. Not after their last meeting…

To say that it had gone horribly wrong was an understatement.

He was just having his usual day; (well, as usual as it had been, ever since their accidental meetings at the Gardiner Warehouse) Richard was even there to bid him 'Good luck' in hopes of seeing her that day and to his delight, she was indeed present with her Abigail.

As if an unspoken agreement, her Abigail went far enough to avoid eavesdropping on their conversation but near enough to maintain propriety. Then, began their usual discourse about whatever topic they came out with – that day, their discussion about Aristotle somehow led them to the subject of famous Kings and Queens.

At first, he suspected that she was purposely leading their conversation towards the well-known monarchs but he disregarded that thought and continued to talk to her. So what if she deliberately wanted to talk about the past rulers of the country? It would be enlightening, just like any other discourse he had with her.

It was when they had reached the topic of Queen Elizabeth I that his inkling thought – about her turning their conversation by design – was strengthened. There was a mischievous glint in her eyes that told him she was playing him somehow. His suspicions were finally confirmed when he questioned her partiality over the Good Queen Bess.**[1]**

"I suppose one cannot help but be partial to their namesake, especially if one of their said namesakes was a famous queen."

His first reaction was to stare at her. Then, he blinked multiple times. Finally, after seeing the amusement in her eyes at his actions, he cleared his throat and asked for a confirmation. "You told me your name."

She nodded shyly at him and he could do naught but repeat his statement that was voiced out as a question once again. "You told me your name." He could not believe it. She actually told him her name. Even if she went back to her home county (which he still did not know the name of and of which she mentioned in their previous meeting), he had a way to find her again.

This time, her shy countenance was replaced with the confident stance that was now familiar to him. "I would not call it 'telling' per se. I think 'implying' was more of an appropriate wording. Wouldn't you think?"

Rather than providing her with an appropriate response, he laughed. "Elizabeth, your name is Elizabeth?" At his question, he noticed the reddening of her cheeks. Realizing that he had just referred to her as her name alone, he cleared his throat and straightened. "Forgive me, Madam, or should I call you Lady Elizabeth from this point forward?"

"While I am flattered that you thought me as a woman with a title, Sir, I am normally called Miss Elizabeth – especially in the company of my eldest sister. Perhaps it would be good for you to formally address me seeing my sister is not present. Without using imaginary titles this time, that is to say."

"Pray tell me what your last name is then, Madam?" He asked immediately. More than a few times he had tried to pry out personal information about her, but she would not give in. This was his chance to get to know her more and he certainly would not waste a second to have just that. Surely, if she did not have a title then she must be a daughter of a baron. If that was not the case and she was not from a family of title then she must still be from a well-known family.

"'Tis Bennet, Sir." _Bennet. Elizabeth Bennet. _He tested the name in his mind. She had an elder sister, so perhaps she was the second daughter of a prominent family. That must be why he had not heard of her yet, because she was a younger daughter. But why didn't the last name 'Bennet' sound familiar to him? It should have. It should be. The beauty before him belonged in the same circles as he did, he was sure of it.

_Bennet. Bennet. Bennet. _Darcy repeated in his mind. He had heard of it before. That's it. With so many businesses he had to deal with, he had just forgotten it. But it was somewhere there, at the back of his mind.

"Are you perhaps one of the nieces of Sir Cromwell?" He did remember his cousin, Henry, Richard's older brother and Viscount Buxton, telling them about Sir Cromwell's nieces recently being presented in society.

The lady looked at him confused, before shaking her head no.

"A distant cousin of Sir Bradley?" His Aunt Matlock had said something about Sir Bradley's distant cousin last month, hadn't she?

She once again replied in the negative.

"Ah, then you must be a relative of Mr. Kelsey." His cousin, Matilda, Richard's youngest sibling and sister, did mention about attending a ball and making the acquaintance of a young lady related to Mr. Kelsey, a gentleman from the South who owned a few estates around the country.

"No, Sir, I am not."

Darcy's brows furrowed. "Huh, then it must be Mr. Eastoft." Mr. Eastoft was one of Bingley's common acquaintances with him, and like Mr. Kelsey, he also owned a few estates in the South. Darcy last saw him some two months ago, and he recalled of Mr. Eastoft telling him about a distant relative who will come out.

"Sir, I do not understand your line of questioning at all."

"Forgive me, Madam, I was only trying to determine your family. I'm pretty sure that I've heard the last name 'Bennet' before."

"If you wished to know, then you could have simply ask, Sir. But I believe that the reason why my family name sounded familiar to you was because of my Uncle Gardiner. I suspected you are in a business partnership with him, perhaps you heard him mention my father."

After analysing the information that was passed onto him, Darcy stared wide-eyed at the lady before him. He must have heard wrong. "Mr. Gardiner is your uncle?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You do not belong to a prominent family?" Seeking some clarification could not be bad, surely his ears were playing tricks on him.

"While my family is known in our home county, we are not well-known here in town, except maybe for the connections we have with the Gardiners."

"You are in trade then."

This time, he noticed her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "While I have nothing against tradespeople, Sir, I am a gentleman's daughter."

"So… you lied." He said in disbelief.

"Lied?" Her tone was sharper now. "I did no such thing, Sir, I assure you. I may have kept my identity from you but never did I deceive anyone."

"But the way you dress yourself –" His own voice was getting louder as well, matching hers.

"I thought we established it in our previous conversations that appearances can be deceiving. Hasn't anyone ever told you that you should not judge a book by its cover?"

"Still, you pretend –"

"Am I to repeat myself, Sir? I did no such pretenses, not once – to you or to anyone."

"But –"

Darcy glared at her as she held up a palm at him. "I ask you now to stop talking, Sir. I know not what has gotten into you to accuse me of such things. I may not be a gentleman but I too have an honour to uphold so how dare you besmirch me so?" This time, it was she who glared at him. "I thought of you as my friend yet you have insulted me in the acutest kind. I believe I have the right to ask you to leave immediately."

He was mad. How could he let himself believe her to be in circles? How could he let himself be easily lured by her arts of allurements? How could he let this happen? His father will be disappointed in him. He could already see it happening; his father's disapproving look, his father's calm but disappointed voice telling him that he had failed to do his responsibilities once again. Before he could delve further in his thoughts, the sight of Mrs. Gardiner rushing towards them brought him back to reality.

"Lizzy, Alexa told me –" as if only noticing his presence, Mrs. Gardiner curtseyed and greeted him. "My Lord."

**-p&p-**

If there was anything Elizabeth Bennet hated more than being insulted, it was being accused of things she did not do.

Ever since she could remember, her Mama was always going on and about how she was responsible for her twin brother's death. "It should be you who's lying in a graveyard and not my dear son." That was one of Fanny Bennet's favourite things to say and her Mama's words always made Lizzy cry.

The worse part of it was Lizzy believed her mother. As a child, when she prayed, she always asked God, why she survived and why her brother did not. When her Grandma Claire found out about this, she told Lizzy that it was not and never was or would be her fault. Lizzy doubted this at first, but her Grandma Claire had never lied to her before; so slowly, Lizzy believed her Grandma. Still, there was a part of her that felt guilty.

When she turned eight, her mother's constant "I wish you never came to our lives" only made Lizzy tear up, no sounds of sob could be heard from her anymore. It was when she turned twelve when not a single drop of tear left her eye at Fanny's constant barbs of "How you are still breathing, I do not know."

The words still hurt her but she had learned long ago to hide her disappointment and pain from everyone. However, a part of her still had hope that her situation would change. She could only be thankful that not all her family treated her like her mother did. However, Fanny Bennet was not alone in the family to accuse her of things she did not do.

Little Lizzy's life became harder when Grandma Claire had passed away. Since Claire Bennet was the one who took care of Longbourn and its tenants, the task immediately fell to Lizzy's hands. It was not new to Lizzy to help with the estate. However, doing most – if not all – the work was certainly new to her.

At first, Lizzy was surprised at her Papa's request for her to enter his study. When he had asked young Lizzy to help with the estate after her Grandma's passing, Lizzy was only too happy to help. "_This is my chance to bond with Papa._" She had thought and hoped.

So when Lizzy began spending time with Papa and Mary in the study room reading or having debates, she thought that her relationships with her family were improving.

Elizabeth was only sad to know that she had thought wrong…

As years went by, the responsibilities being put upon her shoulders were growing; at nine, she helped Mrs. Hill in delivering the tenants needs (at this Lizzy was already an expert. It was one of her favourite bonding time with her Grandma Claire when she was still alive), at ten years old almost half the blankets and other goodies were made by her own hands, at eleven she was the one checking the accounts of the estate, at twelve the tenants came to her to help with their problems, at thirteen she started studying growing crops and breeding animals, that was why up until now, one of the top books on her reading list was "The Complete Farmer: Or, a General Dictionary of Husbandry." In short, Lizzy was no more than fifteen when the tasks of being a Master and Mistress (except for the meal planning and room arrangements) had been placed on her.

Because of these, whenever there were failures and mishaps in maintaining or increasing the income of their estate, the blame was on Lizzy's shoulders. "Look at what you did, child." Her Papa would frown at her and then he would make sure that she learned from her failures by punishing her. Papa's punishment – not allowing her to spend time with Mary and Kitty – was much worse than the most hurtful words Mama could throw at her, so Lizzy always made sure she did her best at running the estate and per Papa's order, did her best at teaching Mary and Kitty of doing the same.

Of course, her Gardiner relations had no knowledge of these things for she had asked – nay, pleaded – with their servants and her sisters to keep it a secret. (Papa and Mama had no qualms at keeping it quiet as long as they did not have to work hard to enjoy the estate's income.) If her Aunt Maddie or Uncle Edward found out about it, they would surely put an end to it. But Lizzy couldn't have that because Thomas Bennet only ever allowed Kitty and Mary to spend time with her if it had something to do with the estate, and occasionally with music, reading or drawing.

Alexa did not approve of this deceit and it took a lot of tears before she had agreed reluctantly. Lizzy felt guilty in using their friendship against Alexa to gain her help but Lizzy could not bear to be parted by the only members of her immediate family who she knew truly cared about her.

Mrs. Winters and Graham had no idea with any of these thanks to Alexa. For all her companion and footman knew, Lizzy's free times from her lessons were spent bonding with her father and sisters in the Longbourn study. In truth, while Thomas Bennet was busy reading a book, Lizzy was doing the accounts of Longbourn with Mary and Kitty assisting her. While her companion thought that she had a passion for knitting and embroidery, Lizzy was fulfilling the necessities needed by the tenants. Of course, not to make Mrs. Winters and Graham suspicious, Alexa along with Kitty, Mary, Mrs. Hill and some other maids were doing their fill to help, as well as the Lucases.

Speaking of the Lucases, they were the only other people who knew the real events in the Bennet Household. Charlotte Lucas and her younger sister, Maria Lucas, had always helped in providing the tenants of Longbourn if needed. Their mother, Lady Lucas, and brother, John Lucas, were Lizzy's advisors when it comes to running the estate. They were like family to Elizabeth and in return, she to them.

Lizzy was fortunate to have the Lucases, especially when her real family were still not through with their accusations thrown her way; first Mama, then Papa and just more than two years ago, her elder sister, Jane.

The unfortunate event occurred during Jane's stay at the Gardiner Residence two weeks after her eighteenth birthday. Lizzy thought that she finally had the time to get closer to her eldest sister and they were, for the first few days of her stay. It was not until Jane's first suitor had started paying a visit to the house that Lizzy felt her sister was straying away from her again.

Mr. Kearsley, a man at the age of four and twenty who owned an estate near Bedfordshire, had begun coming to the house on Jane's fifth day in London. Of course, when she first received the news, she was happy for her sister. But Lizzy was not Elizabeth Bennet if she did not have a curious and protective nature.

So when Mr. Kearsley came to the house for the second time, she had made sure to hide in one of the passages near the drawing room to see what Jane's suitor looked like. At that time, she had not been allowed to greet visitors. Her Aunt and Uncle had told her that she could only do so once she was out in society.

During her observations – for she managed to sneak on them more than three times – on the man (for up until now, Lizzy refused to address him as a gentleman), she had heard him say nothing but sweet nothings to Jane if they were not talking about general subjects. Lizzy had been fine with that for she believed that Jane deserved someone as sweet. However, when Lizzy and Alexa had been permitted to go out with Mrs. Winters and Graham, Lizzy had spotted Mr. Kearsley with a young woman.

Lizzy did her best not to jump at conclusions; she really did, so she investigated further more with the help of a reluctant Alexa. "But Miss Lizzy, why care about her well-being when she does not seem to care about yours?" Her Abigail had protested.

It was through one of these 'investigations' that she had made the acquaintance of Lady Amelia who was another young woman on a mission just like her. Apparently, she had been spying on the woman that her older brother was courting at the time.

Lady Amelia was not the real name of her friend but it was what she liked to be called whenever they were on their respective missions. The real person behind the guise of Lady Amelia was Tilly. Lizzy and Tilly had thought that it would be fun to change their names in addressing each other whenever they were spying, er observing, their quarries.

Tilly had chosen 'Lady Amelia' because she was a lady by birth and she told Lizzy that she had read from somewhere that Amelia meant 'hard working' and 'defender.' Tilly had reasoned that finding out more information about the woman her brother was courting was hard work and by doing said hard work, she was defending him.

Lizzy, on the other hand, chose to be called Miss Elvira. When Tilly asked Lizzy why she had chosen it, Lizzy told her that it was because its meaning had something to do with 'truth,' and was she not seeking truth in order to make sure her eldest was being courted by an honourable man?

Their somewhat similar intentions forged the beginning of their friendship. They were also of the same age which brought them even closer. Alexa even declared them 'dangerous' when together in company.

Unfortunately, their friendship was cut short; her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner had forbidden her from leaving the house after Mrs. Winters found out that she had befriended Tilly. She was disheartened at the turn out of events but still considered herself lucky, because the few times she and Tilly had done their 'observations' she found out everything she needed about Mr. Kearsley.

Pushing aside the thoughts and feelings of her broken friendship, Lizzy had focused her mind on warning Jane. Tilly (who had asked her one of her brothers about him) informed Lizzy that while Mr. Kearsley did have an estate of his own, it was not doing well. It had turned out that Mr. Kearsley was a gambler and deep in debt. The worse part of it was that he was rumoured to have dalliances with a number of young ladies.

Of course, Jane having a kind and gentle nature refused to believe it. What had hurt Lizzy was that Jane accused, nay implied, that Lizzy was only badmouthing Mr. Kearsley because Lizzy was jealous of her elder sister. "Perhaps there has been a misunderstanding. I know that you do not enjoy being watched wherever you go and mayhap you would also like to attend balls but there was no need to say such things about Mr. Kearsley, Lizzy. Do not envy the privileges I have now, sister. You only need to wait two years and when you're out you'll have your turn too."

After that, Jane had shown Lizzy a couple of verses which Mr. Kearsley had written for her. Her sister had thought that because she loved reading, maybe poems made by Mr. Kearsley would change her mind about him. However, it only did the opposite.

While most of the poems were tolerable for they were too shallow, Lizzy could not help but find some verses that confused her greatly. It was the use of words that she found strange. When she consulted some of it to her Aunt, she had been aghast to find out what it means. How could a gentleman behave in such a manner?

After confiding to her Aunt about the poems, Lizzy proceeded to tell her of what she had found out about Mr. Kearsley. If Jane would not listen, then at least her Aunt would know what to do. Poor Jane, not knowing the truth about the meaning of those crude verses!

Fortunately, Aunt Madeline had talked to her Uncle Edward about the issue and Mr. Kearsley was not welcome anymore to the Gardiner Residence. However, the drama was not over yet for when Jane found out about it, she had gone straight to Lizzy's room and accused her of driving away her suitor.

"You lost your friend and now you wanted me to lose mine too!" Gone was the sweet, serene Jane Lizzy knew. That day, her sister had been replaced with younger version of Fanny Bennet telling her how every single thing that had gone wrong was her fault.

When they returned to Longbourn, as if Jane's words were not enough, Fanny had punished Lizzy by burning all her books of poetry and a few novels in front of her. From then on, Lizzy started hating poems. She hated that Mr. Kearsley wrote poems about her sister. She hated that Fanny destroyed all her books about it.

'Think only of the past as it gives you pleasure.' That had been Lizzy's philosophy. She wanted to forget about her misfortunes so much that she chose to forget every single aspect that could make her remember it. So her ones beloved poems were nothing to her now.

It had remained nothing until _he_ had managed to get her to talk of it again not less than a week ago. The thought of him brought tears to her eyes but she refused to let them fall. Lizzy was strong and she would not let just another accuser bring her down.

It felt like her whole life revolved around being the person in the family to be accused of everything that went wrong: from the death of her twin, to the condition of the estate, even the entail of Longbourn was her fault! But Lizzy had endured and dealt with it all.

So when someone, especially someone whom Lizzy considered her friend, started accusing her, she could not help but be hurt. What did she do to deserve all the blame in the world? Was there something wrong with her? Was that why even her parents could not truly love her, let alone care for her?

She did not see it coming, her world turning upside down. One moment – after she had informed him of her name – she was watching her friend smile wider than she had ever seen him before, and the next he was questioning her in a voice full of accusation.

"You lied!" Even as she lay awake in bed, miles away from London, his words echoed in her head. _Who does he think he is to call me a liar?_

_Right, a Marquess_ Lizzy thought with a humourless laugh. How could she forget the moment her Aunt Madeline made the introduction?

"Niece, this is Lord Ashbourne. My Lord, allow me to introduce to you my niece, Miss Bennet." Lizzy was proud of herself for being able to do a proper curtsy and not letting her ire show. Luckily, after she had said something about how nice it was to meet him, her Aunt immediately ushered him towards her Uncle Edward's office.

It turned out that Alexa had rushed to her Aunt the moment she heard the gentleman increase her voice at Lizzy. Luckily, the only thing Alexa told her Aunt was that she needed to fix her dress for a moment and Lizzy would be left without a companion and that she was afraid that Lizzy would find an opportunity to wander outside alone again.

Afterwards, Lizzy had feigned a headache and asked her Aunt if she could head home with Alexa earlier. When they were alone in her room, Lizzy had thanked Alexa before dismissing her of her duties.

"Miss Lizzy?" Alexa called, peaking by the door. "Miss Lucas is here to see you."

"Thank you, Alexa. I'll be down in a moment." Alexa only nodded before closing the door. Lizzy was thankful that her friend had given her a few days of space to think of the situation.

She was no longer in London. She was back in Longbourn at Hertfordshire. It was time for her to forget about London and _him_. _He _now classified to the unpleasant memories so all about _him _should be forgotten.

Stepping out of her room, Lizzy vowed that this will be the last time she would think of _him_.

Elizabeth Bennet was not made for melancholy. She would not wallow in self-pity and let some stranger make her feel sad. There would be an upcoming Assembly in a week and that's where her thoughts should be focused on.

* * *

**[1] **Good Queen Bess - Elizabeth I was called "Good Queen Bess" in part because Bess is a nickname for Elizabeth. In addition, during her reign (1558–1603), Elizabeth maintained stability and prosperity in England, putting an end to a period of instability and turbulence.

**So, there you have it! The start of the Darcy and Elizabeth we know and love. **

**1\. Yes, I made Fitzwilliam Darcy titled in this story. Since our Lizzy is richer and more 'accomplished' as society would put it, there needs to be something inferior about her that keeps them apart – at least, in my opinion. Of course, _nothing_ can keep them apart but at least it will be a little hard for them to be together.**

**2\. His title Lord Ashbourne was picked from one of the cities in Derbyshire. The other names, I found it awkward to say so I chose this. The title of his cousin, Viscount Buxton, was also picked in the same way.**

**3\. Lady Amelia was mentioned in passing back in the previous Chapter.**

**That's it... What do you guys think?**


	4. Chapter 4

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 3 - The Netherfield party (Bingleys, Hursts, de Bourghs, Mr. Collins, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Darcy) are on their way to Hertfordshire. The Colonel was in a grumpy mood because Anne would be acting as Netherfield's Mistress but Darcy is even grumpier. We also found out that Darcy and Lizzy's last meeting did not go well - he accused her of lying to him.** **Background about our Lizzy's childhood: Used by Mr. Bennet, abused by Mrs. Bennet and accused of almost every bad things that happened in the family. She was close with Mary, Kitty and the Lucases as well as her abigail, Alexa. Darcy was also revealed to be a Marquess.**

* * *

Anne de Bourgh couldn't find a word to describe how her three days of stay in Netherfield Park went. Being a sickly child, it was rare for Anne to travel. Her mother was too overprotective to let her out of the house during her younger years. She couldn't even visit her Fitzwilliam or Darcy relatives. Instead, they were the ones to visit Rosings – mostly during Easter – to see her and her mother.

Even at the age of nine, when Anne didn't tire as easily or caught cold as often, Lady Catherine still refused to bring Anne into her travels. She did let Anne roam more areas of the Park at home, though. It was only when Anne reached the age of two and twenty, about three years ago, that Lady Catherine let Anne come with her to Town.

Despite that, other than their estate at Rosings, Matlock House and Darcy House were the only other houses she was used to staying. She didn't really have many friends to visit except her cousins. Simply put, Anne was new to the feelings curtailed when staying in an unfamiliar place in a new county; but that didn't mean that she was oblivious to take note of the fact that the people around her were acting strange.

For starters, there was Richard, who made it his mission to corner her every time he can in hopes of giving up the position as Netherfield's Mistress. But Anne was used to Richard being his annoying self so that didn't really count. She had predicted that he would react this way so she shouldn't really be surprised.

And even if she would acquiesced to his pleas, er requests, eventually (Anne didn't really want to be known to the village her promised role to Netherfield, knowing that it could cause a scandal to her and Richard's relationship especially if it reached London) she wanted to follow the advice of her mother and see if Richard would give in first and if he would try to secure her hand.

Speaking of her mother, Lady Catherine de Bourgh had barely shown herself to the rest of the party since they've arrived. Anne was curious as to why her mother would do this. After all, Lady Catherine's primary objective was to get Miss Bingley away from her nephew.

Said Lady Catherine's nephew, Fitzwilliam Darcy or better known to the crowd as Lord Ashbourne, was next on the list after her mother. It was obvious to everyone that her eldest Darcy cousin was not in the best moods during their travel, but his mood had only gotten worse during their stay. While Anne was used to her cousin's aloofness and stern demeanour, this was taking it to a whole new level. She could not be certain but she thought that she had heard him talking to the wind.

The cousin Anne knew was an observant, always paying attention. The one staying with them in Netherfield seemed to get lost in thought so often. From time to time, Anne had also seen him shake his head in frustration, but he was not talking to anyone. _What's going on?_

It seemed that everyone with her that had a Fitzwilliam blood in them had been put into some kind of spell that made them act unusual. The only normalcy she found in the house was by the Bingleys, Hursts, and Mr. Collins.

However, among these people she only found herself comfortable around Mr. Bingley (because he was generally an amiable man) and Mr. Hurst (simply because he did not bother her and was only ever in their presence to eat or drink). The Bingley sisters, on the other hand, were only tolerated by Anne.

Why, with their simpering, they could rival Mr. Collins. The latter, had somehow took them as competitions in an unspoken game of 'who could say the most compliments' and now, Anne had to deal with three people constantly following her around and praising everything she did. At first, she did try to count who could compliment herself the most but after bearing it for half an hour, she gave up and only smiled up at them not really paying attention to the words coming out of their mouth.

Unfortunately for Anne, their unofficial competition that had started the day of their arrival continued for the following days. Thank goodness for the upcoming Assembly that Sir William Lucas (one of the first people who visited them) informed them of and invited them to. Perhaps she could finally get away from the simpering trio. And if she was lucky, her mother and cousin might be back to their former selves at the time of the event.

The night of Anne's most awaited Assembly, however, didn't go as she had hoped. For one, Richard had gone from pestering her to completely ignoring her. She had guessed that it might have to do with the fact that Richard had yet to know about the arrangement she had made with Mister and Miss Bingley hours before the ball.

Said arrangement would've made Richard back to his own self, because it was agreed upon the two ladies that the people of Hertfordshire would know Miss Bingley as Netherfield's Mistress. However, all the decisions that she would make would still go through Anne because she was still the '_real'_ Mistress of Netherfield. In that way, Anne and Richard would worry no more and they could still make sure that their Darcy cousin was protected from any attempts of compromise.

At first, Mr. Bingley was confused at the idea, but Anne explained it to him in a way that implied Anne and Miss Bingley's 'budding friendship.' Anne knew that Miss Bingley wanted to get close to her (in hopes of gaining the attention of a certain Marquess, no doubt) so she used that information to her advantage. Miss Bingley was so pleased with Anne's proposal that she didn't even suspect a thing.

Of course, proposing the same thing to Mrs. Hurst had crossed Anne's mind, but Anne had also noticed that Mrs. Hurst followed her younger sister around too much that Anne decided to make a deal with the domineering Bingley sister instead.

The second thing that bothered Anne was her mother's absence. Lady Catherine had claimed a headache just before they left for the Assembly. Not once had her mother left her alone in attending gatherings even when she reached legal age. Even when Lady Catherine was feeling unwell, she would never let Anne attend an Assembly with anyone other than herself – even if Anne would be in company with her cousins. Why would she let Anne go without her now? What had changed?

The third and worse thing that bothered Anne though (which made her forget her previous thoughts about Richard and her mother) was her Marquess cousin's remarks.

Anne de Bourgh was reserved and quiet in a new environment like her Darcy cousins, but even she knew that Ashbourne's words tonight were beyond rude.

Having an overprotective mother like Lady Catherine de Bourgh was hard. That was why ever since her mother let her out in society, whenever she attended balls or any social gathering, the first thing she looked for was how mothers interacted with their daughters. And since she could only count on two hands the events she had attended, she had yet to see something out of the ordinary.

Not until tonight.

When she'd entered the room with the rest of her party, it did not take long before her eyes caught sight of a woman who was instructing her daughters to line up properly. While matchmaking mama's attitude towards their daughters was not new to Anne, the way the woman spoke to her daughters had taken Anne by surprise.

While the woman (whom Anne now knew as Mrs. Bennet) was nice to her blonde haired daughter, she spoke to her other daughters as if they were not her children.

"Stand behind my Jane's back with Mary and Lizzy, Kitty. Oh, if only my Lydia was here she shall also be on the front with my Jane, they are the beautiful ones after all." That was what Anne heard from the matron when she'd passed by earlier.

_What kind of mother insults her own daughters?_ At least, Lady Catherine, while overprotective, was good to Anne. She even said many times that if Anne's health had allowed it – any particular skills mentioned by other people – she just knew that her Anne would be a proficient in it, even if it were not really true.

Having seen the way Mrs. Bennet treated her daughters was what led Anne eager to strike a conversation with the trio of sisters whom their mother seemed to love to criticize. After three attempts, she managed to finally get introduced to them through the help of Lady Lucas. And much to Anne's pleasure, she found herself enjoying the Assembly more than any other event that she had attended before.

That was the case, until her Darcy cousin ruined it.

**-p&p-**

"She is tolerable but not handsome enough to tempt me. I am in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me." The moment those words left her cousin Ashbourne's mouth, four things occurred: at the corner of her eye she saw her newfound acquaintance, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, stood frozen in her spot; Richard shook his head, more than three sets of eyes glared in her cousin's direction (Anne was one of them) and Mrs. Bennet walked towards the source of the comment.

However, to Anne's surprise and disgust, Mrs. Bennet's response was not what she expected. "Oh, I absolutely agree with you, Sir. Why, I have been telling that girl for years that she will never be beautiful in anyone's eyes. And that attitude of hers, such stubbornness! Indeed, I am heartily ashamed to call her my daughter. Perhaps now, that it came from the opinion of a respected Lord, such as you, then that girl can finally get it in her head." Before the matron could say more, however, Lady Lucas rushed to her side and led her away.

Anne then fixed her eyes at Miss Elizabeth, who stood a few feet away from her by the punch area, and looked for any sort of reaction. But to Anne's surprise, Miss Elizabeth straightened her spine and raised her head (though, she did so with a prominent blush). Holding two glasses of punch in her hand, Miss Elizabeth walked towards Anne's direction.

"I apologise I took longer than expected." Miss Elizabeth said handing Anne the punch. "If you'd like to search for better company, I would understand Miss de Bourgh."

"Oh, but I find that this is the best company for myself Miss Elizabeth. Thank you for getting me a punch but I believe my headache has been replaced with anger as of now. And as much as I would like to hear more about Oakham Mount, I think I would need to have a talk with my cousin first."

Miss Elizabeth smiled understandingly but Anne could see that it did not reach her eyes. _Oh, cousin you better ready your ears for I am my mother's daughter…_

"I am truly sorry for my cousin's behavior."

"'Tis alright, Miss de Bourgh. I believe all I needed was a little fresh air and I shall be back to my old self."

With that, the ladies parted ways.

Anne de Bourgh wasted no time discreetly dragging her cousin with her towards the balcony where no one could eavesdrop on them. "Fitzwilliam Darcy! How dare you slight Miss Elizabeth Bennet? And in public! You were lucky only few people heard your words but after Mrs. Bennet's spectacle your rude comments might have as well been announced to everyone!"

Meanwhile, as Anne was busy whisper-yelling at her cousin, Mary and Katherine Bennet were watching the exchange. After insulting their elder sister, Mary and Kitty's eyes never left Lord Ashbourne's. That was why they were aware when Miss de Bourgh cautiously led said man towards the balcony.

Fuelled by their anger, at this point, Mary and Kitty cared very little for propriety. They were not going to watch silently as Miss de Bourgh lectured her cousin. No, they were going to teach that arrogant Lord Ashbourne a lesson for speaking about their beloved sister in such a manner. It mattered not if they had not been introduced to the man. They knew his words hurt their sister more than Lizzy would care to admit.

Being daughters of Fanny Bennet, nay being daughters of Fanny Bennet who were not Jane and Lydia, Mary and Kitty knew and felt the hurtful insults of their mother every day. And among the three of them who were Fanny's least favourites, Lizzy had it worse; all because she survived while their brother did not.

Adding more to their anger, was that when their sister came back from London over a week and a half ago, she had been in a somber mood. They only saw Lizzy's lively self again when they had mentioned the Assembly and because of Charlotte Lucas's last visit. The two sisters were trying their best to lift their elder sister's mood, though they knew not what had occurred in London for their sister to become sad in the first place.

What they knew, however, was that Lizzy grew up having low confidence in her physical appearance no matter how much their sister tried to hide it. So after hearing it from their mother who disparaged Lizzy's looks at almost every opportunity she got, hearing it from another person must be painful for their dear Lizzy.

Ergo, as loyal and loving sisters to Lizzy, Mary and Kitty would not just stand idle and let that Lord Ashbourne get away easily after slighting their sister. They might not be able to defend Lizzy from their parents but they sure would stand up for Lizzy against the stranger before them.

Lizzy had stood up for them plenty of times and it was time that they return the favour.

**-p&p-**

Fitzwilliam Darcy could not deny that he was affected by Anne de Bourgh's scolding. He knew his cousin didn't get many opportunities to make friends and knowing that he probably ruined one of Anne's chances at that made him feel guilty.

If that was not enough, two girls (whom Anne later informed him of to be the younger sisters of the person he had insulted) made it their mission to remind Darcy of his mistake. When Anne left him alone at the balcony, Darcy thought he was going to be left alone by silence so that he could ponder more on his cousin's words.

He thought wrong.

As soon as he was by himself, as if by design, the two young ladies stood near the balcony and started talking about how a proper gentleman should conduct oneself in a gathering.

"You know, Kitty, I once thought that you and Lizzy made me stopped reading Fordyce's works because you thought it was dull but now I think that, perhaps, there might be another reason…"

"And what other reason might that be, Mary?"

"Due to some events that happened this evening, I've come to the conclusion that perhaps some of Fordyce's words were opinionated. That was why you and Lizzy convinced me to read other books, was it not? Because I was becoming too dependent on the sermons I had been reading."

"But how could you say that?" Miss Kitty asked.

"You see, dear sister, in one of his works, Fordyce stated that: 'Next to the dispositions and manners of Young Women, those of Young Men may be regarded as of the greatest consequence, both to the present and future generations.'[1] I found his statement hard to believe."

"But why?"

"Did you see how that Lord Ashbourne slighted Lizzy earlier?" He heard Miss Kitty answer in the affirmative before Miss Mary continued. "Do you believe that his manners may be regarded as of the greatest consequence, both to the present and future generations? Was that how a gentleman supposed to behave?"

Darcy knew he had a choice. He could leave if he wanted to. He could escape any time he wanted. However, his body stayed rooted on his spot. The part of him that was mad at himself (not just for his recent actions but all the wrongdoings he had done to a certain young lady) would like to hear what the two girls have to say against his person. He felt guilty; so he thought that it was only right for their insults to reach his ears. After all, he had done much worse to their sister.

"I see your point, Mary, but perhaps it wasn't Fordyce's words that were false. I think that Fordyce only wrote in his works what he thought young men ought to be. Perhaps if men in similar disposition to Lord Ashbourne learned to behave in a gentleman-like manner, then Fordyce's words would be proven true."

Miss Kitty's words took Darcy by surprise. His parents raised him to be a good example of a gentleman so hearing as if he did not even deserve the title of being a 'gentleman' bothered him greatly.

"Perhaps… And now that I've thought about it Lord Ashbourne's actions are, indeed, of great consequence. Why, his behavior reflected poorly upon his friend Mr. Bingley!"

"Do you think Mr. Bingley was really amiable or was he only hiding his rudeness behind a cheerful attitude?"

"Do not think of such a thing, Kitty. You know how Mama was prone to embarrassing us. You should not judge a person based on the people surrounding them."

"But with Mama we have no choice. She is our mother. Lord Ashbourne is only Mr. Bingley's friend. Surely he could choose whether to be in his friend's company or not."

"Kitty, you forget that Lord Ashbourne has higher ranking in society. Did you ever think that perhaps it was Lord Ashbourne who holds control in their friendship?"

The conversation of the two girls came to a sudden stop that Darcy could not help but turn his head in their direction to know what could've prompted them to cease speaking. He was not prepared for what he saw next. There, standing in place of the two girls, was Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She was as beautiful as he remembered her; though he could not help but think that the moonlight enhances her features. It made her eyes stand out even more, as if they were orbs of light shining in the dark.

However, before he could call her name or step towards her to offer his apology, she turned around, not even acknowledging his presence. He couldn't believe she had cut him. He, Fitzwilliam Darcy, Lord Ashbourne, only son of the Duke and Duchess of Derbyshire! How dare she – a country girl with relations to trade – cut him?

Yet… a very small part of him couldn't help but feel that he deserved it.

**-p&p-**

His words hurt more than Lizzy would care to admit. How dare he accused Lizzy of lying when he was the one who's a liar? During the second week of their encounters at the Gardiner Warehouse, he had grown more comfortable with her and none of their meetings went by without him paying her a compliment. Most of it didn't have to do with her appearance but more on her wit and intelligence, yet some of his compliments addressed her beauty.

Not that she believed him. Since she grew up with her own mother belittling her looks, she always had a difficult time accepting praises regarding it. When _he_ had first done it – complimented her – she had switched the topic of their conversation immediately. The second time he had done it, she had done the same thing in response. By the third time, he must've noticed her discomfort and he'd decided to address the matter.

"Do you not trust me?" He had asked her with a frown, brows furrowed and eyes serious.

Though she had been confused at his sudden question in the middle of their debate about which book was better: Pamela or Shamela, she had answered him in a firm "I do trust you."

"Then you believe my words?"

"Yes."

"If that was the case, then why do you not believe me whenever I tell you that you look lovely?"

She remembered lowering her head and looking away from him when he'd asked this. She didn't want to tell him of her doubts about her beauty or anything about her mother. Still, she didn't want to leave his question without an answer so she settled for a half-truth. "It makes me feel uncomfortable."

"I thought one of the ways to gain a lady's good opinion is flattery?"

"My mother did once say that I'm not a lady." Though her mother's comment stung, Lizzy had told him of the jab in a teasing manner that concealed her true feelings on the statement.

"Then she was right about that." That was the first time his words had hurt her. But that was only for half a second, for his next sentence had taken away any offence he had brought her. "You aren't just a lady because you're so much more."

Not really knowing how to respond to his words, she had changed the subject.

"Very well, since compliments do seem to make you uncomfortable, I shall make it my mission to sing you praises every time we meet. That way, you can get used to it and learn to accept it."

At that, she had raised a brow at him. "Shall I prepare myself for a bunch of false flattery in the coming days?"

He'd shaken his head. "I thought that you trust me, therefore believing the credibility of my words? Are you the one who's being untrue, madam?"

Sighing, she had turned to him with a light smile on his face. "Alright, I will concede defeat this time." She had let him return her smile before she'd crossed her arms at her chest and said, "However, I believe our debate is not yet over and I promise to win in that subject."

Before she could relive the memory any further, Charlotte came to her side. "Eliza, I just overheard Mary and Kitty near the balcony. I think they're giving Lord Ashbourne a taste of his own medicine."

Charlotte Lucas watched the expression of her friend turned into a frown. While Charlotte knew that the man's words had hurt her friend, she also knew that Lizzy wouldn't want her younger sisters to delve more into the matter. What Eliza needed at times like these, were time alone to herself. That was why when Charlotte saw Eliza headed outside after talking to Miss de Bourgh, she didn't follow her.

Not until she had overheard Kitty and Mary's conversation. While a part of her approved of what the two girls did to retaliate, a bigger part of Charlotte knew that their action would also reflect on their family as well (not that Mrs. Bennet had done a good job at making a good impression). And while Charlotte had stopped caring about other members of the Bennet family on how they were treating Eliza, she didn't want Mary and Kitty to get in trouble with their mother if not with the Marquess himself.

"Where are they?"

Instead of answering, Charlotte led Eliza inside to where her younger sisters were.

Lizzy was glad that she didn't even have to say a word for her sisters to stop talking and give her an apologetic look. She sighed telling them that they would discuss it later before pushing them towards Charlotte, who led them to the other side of the room. Lizzy couldn't resist taking a peak at he whose name should not be spoken, but at the last minute changed her mind knowing that she couldn't meet his eyes so she turned away and left.

**-p&p-**

When they got back to Netherfield, Darcy headed to the private sitting room connected to his chambers and poured himself a glass of brandy.

Ever since he had arrived at Netherfield, he had been unfocused. All he could think about was how he was going to make amends to the lady he had parted with so badly in London. Hours after their last meeting in the Gardiner Warehouse, it didn't take long for Darcy to realise his mistake.

He had accused her of being a liar because he thought she had deceived him. But she didn't. She never had. And even if she did it was _he _who had let her hide her identity. _He _was the one who had deceived himself. If he really wanted to, Darcy knew he could send some men to investigate on her background. He had the power and connection but he didn't use it; because he, too, had participated in hiding their true selves.

"Cousin, I could not believe you had behaved yourself in such a manner at the Assembly." As always, his cousin Richard seemed to have impeccable timing. "I know that you're uncomfortable and in a bad mood, but that does not excuse your actions."

Darcy didn't reply, he had nothing to say after all. It was like what Richard said, there was no excuse. He couldn't even remember why he had insulted her in the first place. Her presence just... caught him by surprise. And when Bingley suggested for him to dance with her, he wasn't prepared. The next thing he knew, his defense mechanism kicked in and lies started spilling out of his mouth.

His lack of response did not deter Richard, for the Colonel kept on talking. "Worry not, old chap, I had talked to Bingley regarding his behaviour as well." Patting Darcy on the shoulder before filling a glass of brandy for himself, Richard continued. "Everyone knew you were in a bad mood since we got here, Bingley should've known better than to pressure you in public like that."

Darcy only nodded in agreement.

He knew Bingley's intentions were well meant, but sometimes Darcy wished that Bingley would pay more attention to the world around him. He didn't want to change his friend's disposition on the world, no. Bingley's outgoing and friendly attitude was what started and strengthened their friendship after all. Yet, Darcy felt that it was time for Bingley to see the world; not as a playground for kids but as the world was, wherein dancing with a pretty lady was not the solution to everything.

_'Though perhaps, it depends upon on which pretty lady one is dancing with._'

Shaking his head from his thoughts, Darcy forced himself to pay attention to his cousin who was unusually quiet. "Was that all you have to say, Richard?"

"I thought I was the interrogator between the two of us?"

"Well, then perhaps it was my time to retaliate and return the favor." Darcy said after gulping the contents of his glass. "You had your fun at teasing me this past month and now, I believe, it's my chance to make fun of you."

**-p&p-**

At the Longbourn study, another conversation was happening. But unlike the gentlemen at Netherfield, there was no camaraderie or brandy involved.

"I hope you realised how poorly you acted tonight Fanny." Lady Lucas, despite the presence of her husband and Mr. Bennet, did not hesitate to narrow her eyes at Mrs. Bennet. "Remember that Claire's Will has very specific conditions. If you want more pin money than what Mr. Bennet is giving you and have the monthly allowance that Claire has left you and the other girls, then Eliza must be treated right. After the scene you made tonight, you will not receive anything for the rest of the month or the next because I have already sent a letter to Mr. Milton about your behavior."

"But I had too much wine when I have said those things! Surely, Mr. Milton could be persuaded to –"

Lady Lucas interrupted the woman. She really had no time for this. It was late. However, she wanted to deal with it quickly that was why she chose tonight rather than early on the morrow. "My cousin will not be persuaded. And don't even bother to get Mr. Philips to help you because we both know that he'll be on Eliza's side, therefore my side."

At that, Lady Lucas stood up only nodding to Mr. Bennet. (If she really had no manners, she wouldn't even bother acknowledging that man.) She let her husband do all the pleasantries and they left the Bennet Household with satisfaction. _That'll teach Fanny a lesson in embarrassing Eliza. At least, for a couple of months… I shall also write to Madeline about this in the morning._

Seeing as they had boarded the carriage and they were still able to hear Fanny Bennet's complain of her poor nerves, the Lucases smiled. There might not be able to do much with Thomas but if Fanny would not leave him in peace, then they would count it as punishment enough.

Upstairs, before Fanny Bennet started her rants about her poor nerves, Elizabeth Bennet wanted to talk with Mary and Kitty as well. However, seeing as they were already asleep after changing, she decided that it could wait for tomorrow.

* * *

**[1] This was taken from a line on one of Fordyce books, "Fordyce Address to Young Men."**

**Thanks for reading and stay tuned!**

**Thoughts?**

**So… I had a hard time deciding whether Darcy will use the "tolerable but not handsome enough to tempt me" (since it clearly was a lie seeing that he was attracted with her the first chapter) or just the "I am in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men." So, in the end I decided to include the first sentence, it's one of my favourite lines after all. Let's dig Darcy some bigger hole, I just hope we can get him out of it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 4: Darcy insulted Lizzy at the Assembly, Mrs. Bennet making a scene and Anne scolding her cousin. Mary and Kitty gave Darcy a taste of his own medicine. Lizzy unintentionally cut him. Richard and Darcy had a talk over brandy. And the Lucases punished Mrs. Bennet by taking away her additional pin money from Claire.**

* * *

For the first time in her life, Alexa Digby regretted not being able to attend an Assembly, even to just stand on the side lines. She was not a person who hated gatherings but going to places where many people, nay families, were involved was just hard for her. She missed her parents dearly and her longing for them only increased when celebrations were involved.

But now, seeing her mistress's quiet demeanor, Alexa was curious. What ever happened on the ball that made Miss Lizzy so unlike herself? She was fine before she attended. Still not her usual lively and teasing self but she was almost back to normal, especially when Miss Lucas came by to visit and told Miss Lizzy her good news of finally entering a courtship.

Miss Lizzy was even looking forward to the Assembly. Alexa knew this for her mistress was excited when she had helped her dress yesterday. This morning, however, Miss Lizzy was acting like she had been a week ago, when they'd arrived from London, only worse.

Even Apollo didn't fail to notice Miss Lizzy's behavior. The poor horse kept on nuzzling to Miss Lizzy's face, ever since they arrived at the stables near Dower House.

"Miss Lizzy, I have finished the blankets needed for the tenants last night." Alexa informed her mistress quietly, in case Mrs. Winters was listening to their conversation. "I think that the supplies we stored the past months and what I made last night have enough excess for Boxing Day. You needn't worry about the tenants for now. You should enjoy the rest of the month."

Alexa's suggestion was received with a sigh. However, before either of them could say more on the matter, Mrs. Winters walked up to them with the footmen she was talking to a moment ago. "Shall we visit the tenants Lizzy?"

"Yes, Mrs. Winters." Miss Lizzy smiled at her companion. In truth, Mrs. Winters could be called the two girls' mother for she was the most constant older woman in their lives. But because of her overprotectiveness that could rival Mrs. Gardiner's, the girls find it hard to confide to her. That didn't mean that they loved her any less though, for the girls were very fond of Mrs. Winters indeed.

"Girls, these are Andrew and Roger." Mrs. Winters gestured to two of the four footmen with her. "They will be accompanying us with Archie and Graham today. As you may know, Graham will soon retire and his position will be passed on to his son." Alexa lowered her head at this so she would not meet Archie's eyes. He would not give him the satisfaction of seeing that she was happy at the possibility of spending more time together.

Miss Lizzy may have influenced Alexa on becoming bolder and more confident as they grew up, but as a young woman, she still had her reservations. As of now, Archie and Alexa were friends, and the latter was content at that. Alexa wasn't ready yet to let new people in her life completely. The grief of losing her parents continued to weigh on her.

She was so lost in her thought that Alexa almost missed Mrs. Winters' next words. "If you were wondering, Andrew and Roger were relatives of Mr. and Mrs. Gardiners other employees and Mrs. Gardiner wished to have them trained under Graham's supervision."

Miss Lizzy greeted the two new young men. Alexa, following her mistress' lead, did the same. After that, Miss Lizzy didn't waste another second before mounting Apollo (though not astride as Miss Lizzy usually preferred). Meanwhile, Mrs. Winters and Alexa settled themselves on Miss Lizzy's phaeton, the four footmen trailing behind them as they started their journey.

"How was the Assembly last night, dear?" Mrs. Winters asked once they had checked on Mrs. Drury, one of Longbourn's tenants.

Alexa straightened in her seat, eager to hear Miss Lizzy's answer. While she and Miss Lizzy didn't always tell Mrs. Winters everything, they were never really dishonest to her. The only thing they had lied about – or rather, omitted the truth about – to Mrs. Winters was Mr. Bennet's neglect on the estate, Lady Amelia (Mrs. Winters found out about that, anyway) and Miss Lizzy's encounters with a Marquess last month. Everything else, Mrs. Winters knew.

"I would like to say it was fine," Lizzy trailed off before sighing, "but it was not."

"Has Mrs. Bennet suffered from her poor nerves again?" Alexa knew that 'Mrs. Bennet suffering from poor nerves' was a nicer term for 'Mrs. Bennet verbally abusing Miss Lizzy'.

Miss Lizzy refused to look at them as she answered, "You know how she is, Mrs. Winters. I'm used to it."

Alexa felt Mrs. Winters stiffened beside her. She also noticed the elder woman's clenched fist. It was times like this that made Alexa wonder why Mrs. Winters and the Gardiners couldn't do something permanently to remedy Miss Lizzy's situation. Couldn't they just take Lizzy with them to reside in London for good?

Alexa knew that Miss Lizzy would protest, not wanting to leave Miss Kitty and Miss Mary. But if the Gardiners could limit Miss Lizzy's rambles, couldn't they control her living arrangements? Why don't they just take Miss Mary and Miss Kitty with them as well? While the Gardiners' previous house was relatively small, the current Gardiner residence was more than big enough to accommodate Alexa, the three Bennet sisters, Mrs. Winters and the four footmen with them. But then again, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet would not allow anything like that to happen.

And seeing as Miss Lizzy always stayed for almost half the year in London and she resided in the Dower House when in Hertfordshire, Alexa supposed that the Gardiners and Mrs. Winters were doing their best to protect Miss Lizzy. Perhaps if Miss Lizzy found herself a worthy husband then she could finally escape Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. If that was Miss Lizzy's only way to her freedom, then Alexa would help in any way she could.

Sighing, Alexa stepped down from the phaeton to help Miss Lizzy and Mrs. Winters see how the Abbotts were faring. Looking up at the cloudy sky, Alexa prayed for two things: for little Michael Abbott to recover from his fever and for Miss Lizzy to escape her life here at Longbourn.

Hopefully, God would grant her wishes, soon.

-**p&p-**

After doing her usual rounds looking over the tenants of Longbourn, Elizabeth Bennet decided to talk to her sisters. Normally, Mary and Kitty would also accompany her in visiting their tenants. However, seeing as an assembly was held last night and the two had slept in late, Lizzy couldn't find it in her to wake her sisters.

Unfortunately for Lizzy, without anyone else to distract Mrs. Winters and Alexa, they had made it their mission to scrutinise her every movement. She did her best to ignore it though. While she informed Mrs. Winters of almost all her troubles (save for the part regarding her father basically handing her the responsibilities of being Longbourn's Master, Lady Amelia, and meeting he who shall not be named in London) and she trusted Alexa with the littlest of things like the ones she had kept from Mrs. Winters, when it comes to her insecurities, Elizabeth trusted no one.

Of course, Lizzy could easily tell her closest confidants about the things that happened to her. She remembered easily telling Grandma Claire of her mother's indifference towards her.

"But I don't care if Mama loves me less, Grandma. At least she still loved me a little." Lizzy remembered her little-self saying. "Besides," she had grinned at her Grandma "I still have you."

She was also comfortable in telling her Aunt Madeline her hopes of only marrying for the truest of love once her Aunt had informed her that she would be inheriting a lot from her grandmother. There was also the time when she had just been acquainted to Lady Amelia (or Tilly) and she instantly confided to her about her doubts concerning Mr. Kearsley. She told Lady Lucas and John Lucas that her father basically handed her the care for the family estate without a stutter. It was same with the time she informed Alexa of meeting a certain Marquess.

All in all, Lizzy could say she bested at telling stories. Her cousins even adored her for it, especially when she's animated. What she was not good at, though, was expressing how she felt about the stories she told them.

She didn't tell her Grandma that it hurt being the least favorite daughter of her mother. She didn't tell her Aunt Madeline that she was scared because she feared that no man could or would ever love her – like Mama always said. Lady Amelia didn't know the extremity of her worry for Jane. The Lucases didn't know how crushed Lizzy felt when she'd realized that her father was only using her. Alexa was ignorant that she thought the Marquess the most handsome man of her acquaintance. And the Marquess was clueless of how much his actions had made Lizzy doubt herself; thus, the reason why she could not address him properly – even in her mind.

No one knew the depth of Elizabeth Bennet's feelings and she was glad to leave it at that. She couldn't let her sisters or Alexa know how much being called 'not handsome enough' bothered her, because more than anything, criticisms regarding her physical appearance affected her the most.

It started at Jane's ninth birthday. Little Lizzy was seven at the time and she remembered sitting in a corner of a room with Mary while Mama was busy brushing Jane's her saying that Jane 'couldn't be so beautiful for nothing.' Lizzy paid no heed to Mama's words. What disturbed her however, was Jane's hair. It was blonde and straight like Mama's.

Unlike Jane's and Mama's, Lizzy's hair was curly and dark like her favorite hot chocolate. (Though, Alexa always argued with Lizzy about her hair colour. "'twas not dark brown Miss Lizzy, your hair have different coloured locks that varies from reddish-brown to a deep dark brown.")

At the time, Lizzy thought that the reason Mama always favoured Jane and Lydia was because of their hair. Mary and Kitty had dark hair like Lizzy's too. Nevertheless, while the three of them shared the same dark hair, Kitty's and Mary's were noticeably lighter than Lizzy's. And Lizzy found no trace of red in any of her sisters' hair that Alexa had pointed out in hers.

If that was not enough to perturbed Lizzy, she also noticed that her eyes which were the colour of evergreen were not like those of her sisters which ranges from blue to hazel. Since Lizzy became aware of her similarities, nay lack thereof, her looks bothered her greatly.

She remembered sharing this piece of information to Aunt Madeline when she was twelve, as well as her thoughts if she was adopted. However, those thoughts were instantly vanished when her Aunt showed her younger miniatures of Grandma Claire and Grandpa Bennet (whom Lizzy hadn't got the chance to meet). It showed that she inherited her hair from her grandmother and her eyes from her grandfather.

Uncle Gardiner had even called her silly, in an amused manner, at the time. Apart from her hair and eyes, Lizzy had no other reason to doubt whether she was truly a Bennet. After all, she and her sisters shared the same complexion and Fanny Bennet was truly pregnant before Lizzy came into the world.

If Elizabeth Bennet was being honest, she was a little disappointed when she realized that she really was part of the Bennet family. Perhaps that was why she made a big deal about their different hair colours. At a young age, she was already searching for a way out. Maybe, unconsciously, Lizzy knew that this would be her future.

Or, it could also be that her younger self was desperate to excuse her parents' actions. It could be that, at the back of her mind, Lizzy knew that this was not the way she should be treated by her parents. And maybe, if she found proof that her parents weren't her real parents, it would hurt less: the accusations, the insults, the treatment, everything…

Before she could ponder more on the subject, Mary and Kitty entered the house. It wasn't lost on Lizzy that her sisters did so hesitantly. Her sisters had never been comfortable in the Dower House since they were never close with Grandma Claire but Lizzy wanted their conversation to be held here. Lizzy didn't want to take chance on Mama eavesdropping.

For someone who disliked her three middle daughters so much, Mama was keen on listening to their conversations. Fortunately for Lizzy, Fanny Bennet had no access to the Longbourn Dower House until Mr. Bennet's passing. In Hertfordshire, the Dower House was Lizzy's sanctuary. She was more comfortable in staying there than Longbourn. After all, it was the house she grew up in with her grandmother. And while she might, on occasions, sleep in Kitty and Mary's room, Lizzy spent most of her time in the Dower House. Mrs. Winters and Alexa were also more comfortable there, though they both accompany her whenever she chose to stay at Longbourn.

"Lizzy, if you are going to lecture us for doing what we did to Lord Ashbourne last night, then Kitty and I were sorry for being improper but we do not regret our words towards him."

Lizzy stared in shock at Mary. She hadn't the chance to open her mouth yet.

"I agree with Mary, Lizzy." Kitty said, standing proudly beside Mary. "We may not be able to go against Mama and Papa, but at least to strangers we can defend each other."

Proud, yet at the same time worried for their actions (especially if it reached Mama's ears), Lizzy settled to hugging her sisters. "While I am still against what you two did last night, I'm proud of you for acknowledging your actions."

Mary and Kitty beamed at her.

Before anything more could be said, Mrs. Hill was announced at the door.

"Good morning Ma'am." Mrs. Hill smiled at them. "I'm afraid the three of you are needed at Longbourn. There are visitors looking for you all."

**-p&p-**

Anne de Bourgh woke up, the morning of the assembly, with a mission. After much pondering on last night, she realised that perhaps she was wrong in agreeing to her mother's scheme in pushing Richard regarding their relationship. Anne did it with good intentions, though. She wanted for them to marry quickly not because she couldn't be patient for Richard but because she was worried about him.

Anne didn't want to take the chance when Richard would not return home from the war. She would not stop Richard from working with the military if that was what he really wanted, but she also wanted to build their life together as a family before anything bad could happen. After all, the future was unpredictable.

She didn't want history to repeat itself. Anne did not want to endure what her mother suffered from. She did not want Richard to endure what her mother suffered from. Most especially, she did not want her future child (hoping that God would bless them with) to experience what she had been through.

It was not a secret to anyone that Anne de Bourgh had never met her father. The only thing she was told about him was that he was a kind man and would have loved Anne if he was still alive. Anne had also suspected that her father's death was what caused her mother to change.

Her Uncle Matlock once told Anne that Lady Catherine used to be lively and full of smiles. "Of course she was still stern and commanding in her younger years but she was less bitter about it than she is now." Her Uncle often jested.

Anne had always lived her life by the rules under her mother. Perhaps it was because she almost died from a fever when was three that Lady Catherine became overprotective or maybe it was the cold she always caught not long after recovering from her almost death. She had lived five and twenty years being afraid of life and hiding under her mother's skirt, figuratively, that is.

Well, no more. She wanted to be with Richard and she would be with him, even if just for a few years to give him a child and for the child to grow old enough to recognize her. With the headaches and shortness of breaths Anne had been experiencing recently, she feared for the future. Yes it was wrong to push Richard, but what if her time was running out? What if his time was running out?

Nonetheless, after thinking it thoroughly last night, she decided that the best way to deal with her worries was to talk to Richard. Anne could tell that her mother's schemes were taking a toll on him as well. Poor Richard!

When she reached the dining room, however, only Ashbourne was present. "I see you woke up early, cousin." She began talking, not looking at him and focused on selecting her food. "Was it because you wanted to pay a call on Longbourn during visiting hours to apologise on a certain lady?" Her voice had an underlying tone in it that should make it clear to her cousin that she was not asking, but rather ordering him to do what she said. It was not like Ashbourne would do what she wanted him to do, (Goodness knows the Darcys were very stubborn people) but it did not hurt to try.

"It is not close to visiting hours yet, cousin." Ashbourne replied. "And what is this Longbourn you spoke of?"

Anne narrowed her eyes at him. "Why, cousin, do not tell me that you insulted more than one woman at the assembly last night."

Ashbourne remained quiet. Anne continued eating, unbothered by it. Her Darcy relations weren't really the talkative type of people.

It was halfway through her meal when Ashbourne spoke again. "I didn't mean to insult her." If Anne was surprised at the emotion on her cousin's voice, she didn't show it. Maybe her cousin really felt guilty for ruining her chance at Miss Elizabeth's friendship. That, or Miss Mary and Miss Kitty might have said some words last night that smack some sense into her cousin. Miss Bingley did complain to Anne last night how she had overheard 'those country girls insulted Lord Ashbourne'. If it weren't any of her previous guesses, then perhaps it was Richard who knocked some sense into him.

"If what you are saying is true, then you should accompany me to Longbourn later. That is Miss Elizabeth's home, about three miles from here."

At that, Ashbourne nodded and focused on his meal.

Anne, at the thought of the Miss Bennets, could not help thinking if her visit later could serve another purpose. She had seen last night how Mrs. Bennet treated her daughters, and if the woman was not afraid to disparage Miss Elizabeth in front of a crowd, then Anne feared that Miss Elizabeth and her sisters suffered more in the confines of their home.

Did Mrs. Bennet only abuse them verbally? Or did that woman went as far as physically harming them? Whatever was going on at Longbourn, Anne was going to find out. She might not have known the Bennet sisters long but Anne felt for them. From the stories of Mrs. Jenkinson, Anne's companion who was currently visiting her daughter in Bath, Anne had an idea how hard it was to be abused.

While Lady Catherine did her best to shelter Anne, Mrs. Jenkinson opened her eyes to the world. Of course, her companion was never vulgar or rude but she did make Anne realise that the world wass not always a happy place. Mrs. Jenkinson had told Anne of different stories about her life before she became Anne's companion and Anne could only hope that none of the Bennet sisters were experiencing the same fate Mrs. Jenkinson did.

And even if they were, Anne knew what her next mission of the day would be. Since Richard was probably still asleep (she had heard from the servants that he and Ashbourne had been in their cups last night), he could wait until later. As of now, her mind was focused on the Miss Bennets. She would observe Longbourn during their visit later and if she found out something wrong then she would tell her mother and ask for her help.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh might act obnoxious and arrogant but deep down, she had a kind heart. Anne knew for it was proven by their servants, like Mrs. Jenkinson for example. And Mr. Collins! So really, if her mother could help abused servants and abandoned tenants, then she could help gentleman's daughters.

Before Anne could muse further on the subject, Mr. Bingley joined them on the table.

**-p&p-**

Fanny Bennet was delighted to have the Netherfield party call on Longbourn. This would be a great chance for her dear Jane and Mr. Bingley! To be honest, Mrs. Bennet would prefer Lord Ashbourne for her eldest daughter (he was obviously richer and with a title!). However, Mrs. Bennet also wanted Jane to settle down with someone whom she could esteem, and if Mr. Bingley was that person then who was she to complain?

Fanny could clearly see that he was making her daughter happy, and with five thousand a year, she could also be happy with the match.

What Fanny Bennet could not be happy about, however, was the fact that the other visitors inquired for the three other girls. She was okay with Mary and Kitty (if only those two did not spend so much time with their 'favourite' Lizzy!) but with that Lizzy, she was not. Even the thought of the girl's name was giving her a headache!

Nevertheless, she could do naught but call for Hill to find the girls. She would just have to focus on Jane making a good match to refrain herself from doing anything she did not want for her guests to see – especially that Charlotte Lucas. Mrs. Bennet was sure that Lady Lucas sent her daughter to Longbourn just to spy on her if she would embarrass that Lizzy.

It's not like that girl needed Mrs. Bennet's help to be embarrassed. Why, that girl only had to enter the room and she'd embarrass herself. She should be ashamed of herself prancing around Longbourn, pretending she was helping the estate! Why, if she did not want to do all of that work then she should have let little Thomas live.

Then, it should be Fanny Bennet's beloved son roaming around Longbourn not that girl! Oh, how Fanny missed her son. So beautiful, her baby boy… Shaking her head from unpleasant memories, Mrs. Bennet busied herself by pouring tea for her guests.

"Pray, where are your sisters, Mr. Bingley?" Mrs. Bennet asked while handing him a cup of tea.

"They've only woken up when we left, Mrs. Bennet. They still keep to town hours as they were not used to the country." Mrs. Bennet nodded her head at Mr. Bingley's answers.

Not wanting to keep his attention from Jane for too long, Mrs. Bennet turned to Miss de Bourgh. "And how did you find the Assembly Miss de Bourgh?"

"It was enjoyable." Miss de Bourgh smiled a little. "Misses Mary, Kitty, and Elizabeth are fun to talk with." She then turned to Charlotte Lucas, "As well as Miss Lucas, if she was not preoccupied."

Charlotte Lucas smiled shyly and Fanny frowned. She still did not see what Colonel Forster see in the plain girl to agree in a courtship with her; clearly Harriet Burton was more beautiful and lively like her Lydia.

Speaking of her youngest daughter, Lydia invited herself to join the conversation. "La, the four of them are not fun. I'm the fun one. If Papa allowed me to go at the Assembly last night, I would've dance and introduce you to many dance partners Miss de Bourgh."

"Lydia, you are not yet out." Jane said lightly.

"But I will soon turn fifteen. Just another year and then I would be out." Lydia proclaimed.

Before more could be said, Hill announced the arrival of Fanny's other daughters. Noticing how Miss de Bourgh frowned at Lydia's words, Fanny told the visitors what a fine day it was outside and persuaded them to walk around the area. That way, she also did not have to waste any time with those three girls.

**-p&p-**

"Miss Elizabeth." Darcy greeted once he and the lady whose name he spoke of was left to walk side by side, strategically by his cousin Anne.

"Lord Ashbourne." The lady in question said in response, not looking at him but at the path ahead of them. It was only after he slowed down his steps so that their companions were far ahead of them not to overhear any conversation when she looked up at him.

Oh, how he missed those eyes... her eyes… her…

He didn't mean to insult her last night, what he told his cousin Anne earlier was the truth. It was just that, when he became aware of her presence and Bingley was offering to introduce him to her, he did not know what to do. He was not prepared to see her in Hertfordshire.

All his days of thinking about her, how he would make amends for the way their last encounter had gone, it was all for naught when he saw her. He was caught off guard that he didn't know what to do and instead blurted the first excuse he had thought of to avoid her – to call her tolerable and not handsome enough to tempt him. Unfortunately, he failed to control the volume of his voice; what was meant to be a whisper was said in a hard tone that practically shared his thoughts to everyone around them within three feet.

_Surely, after the compliments he had told her during their time in London she would not believe that? _That was Darcy's initial thoughts. Of course, it was too late when he realised that she always had a hard time believing his words regarding her beauty. And when Mrs. Bennet made a scene not long after he had delivered his comments last night, Eliza – Miss Elizabeth's source of insecurity was revealed.

What a fool Darcy had been! Eliz – Miss Elizabeth always had a cheerful demeanor that he thought her to be always happy. He didn't even think that beneath her bright eyes and brilliant smiles was a sad girl, insecure of herself. Thinking of his words upon their last meeting, Darcy wanted to kick his self. _How abominable my accusations were! What must she think of me?_

And the pain he might've caused her last night! She must've thought him the worse of men. What would his mother say about his behaviour? Truly, Darcy was ashamed of himself. Just thinking about how much he had hurt her pained him as well. His fist involuntarily closed as his past words played again and again on his mind.

'_If he had learned to behave in a gentleman-like manner_,' the words of Miss Mary and Miss Kitty was echoing in his head; what made it worse was that their voices was replace to one of Eli – Miss Elizabeth's. His jaw clenched as he realised that she was innocent in all these. He was the one at fault. He hadn't only offended her once but twice!

He couldn't bear it if he did so again, intentional or not. He wanted to have what they had back in London, when they were still clueless of who the other was. He missed her conversations, her smiles, her teasing, her laughter, he missed her.

He frowned as he recalled the look on her face after his unpardonable comments and her mother's insults. Her cheeks were red (probably from both embarrassment and anger), eyes glassy, and jaw set firm. It looked familiar. Then he remembered – it was the exact same expression she had on their last meeting in London.

She hid her pain well. Darcy remembered that she had raised her head to face the crowd and tried to smile at Anne when she handed his cousin a drink. He was proud of her, for being brave and still standing up despite the discomfort she must've felt. At the same time, he was saddened at this realisation. _Just how long had she been concealing her emotions to be almost perfect at the act?_

Darcy still couldn't comprehend how much he felt for her or the name of what he was feeling. He knew he was attracted to her since their first meeting, there was no denying that. He also had long accepted that she had bewitched him – her mind, her beauty, simply being her – had captured him.

But after all that's happened, he wanted to take things one step at a time. Like their previous encounters, he wanted to forget who he was for a moment. His focus was to erase the pain, the hurt, which she was experiencing right now.

And staring at those green eyes right now, Darcy knew he would try and do just that. "Miss Elizabeth," he began once again. However, before he could start begging for forgiveness, she turned and ran away from him.

* * *

**So… what do you guys think?**


	6. Chapter 6

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 5 - Alexa suspects something bad happened at the assembly. A glimpse of how Lizzy helped the tenants at Longbourn. New footmen and Mrs. Winters appearance. Background on how Lizzy wishes she was not a real Bennet. Lizzy, Mary and Kitty moment. Mrs. Hill tells them they have some visitors. Anne's perspective on marrying Richard. A brief look on what's going on inside Fanny Bennet's head. Darcy realising his mistakes and a failed attempt on apologising.**

* * *

The first thing she noticed was his clenched fists on his sides; then, the gritting of his teeth. It was not long before he was staring sternly at her. He was mad, she could tell. And so, when he said her name, Elizabeth Bennet ran away from the Marquess. She knew what would come next. Lizzy had seen those physical reactions before.

She was fourteen when she had questioned her father why he had let Mama overspent when the estate had not reach the quota for harvest that year. She had been so mad at Papa that time. Alexa had been sick along with some of the tenants due to the terrible weather and instead of using the barely extra monies to help them, Papa had let Mama spent it on ribbons and bonnets!

His stance had been the same as Lord Ashbourne's – rigid with hands curled into a fist turning almost white. The only difference between their expressions was that the Marquess had his eyes closed while Papa was staring hard at her.

Then before she knew it, Papa's right palm had collided on her cheek. Tears had left her eyes before she could process that she had been hurt. When her face had become sore the next day, Mrs. Winters had brought her immediately to the Gardiners and Alexa had travelled with them despite not being fully recovered. If Uncle Edward had not been targeted by a business partner of an earl about six months later, Lizzy was sure that she they wouldn't have sent her back to Longbourn.

Alas, for the sake of them all she had to go back. Of course, her Aunt and Uncle made sure that she wouldn't get treated so terribly again. Lizzy did not know how but somehow, Grandma Claire's Will seemed to solve almost all of her familial problems. How her grandmother predicted the possibilities of the future was unknown to Lizzy but she was thankful nonetheless. If her Aunt and Uncle's words with Mr. Bennet were not enough, the Lucases and Alexa made sure it never occurred again.

Papa's 'outrage' had only happened once and it might not have any evidence marked on her person anymore but the memory of it was so vivid that Lizzy felt she was reliving the incident again when she noticed the Marquess' stance.

Lizzy would always say that her courage rises at every attempt to intimidate her but she knew she was not that strong. The Marquess was more than a head taller than her. He would have the upper hand if he ever did try to hit her. She could scream and try to gain the attention of the others. Surely, if she screamed loud enough they would hear her even if they were far ahead. Still, what if Lord Ashbourne managed to hit her first?

_I made the right decision to run away from him_, she decided. Composing herself, she hurried her pace to reach the Dower House.

Alexa greeted her by the door. "Miss Lizzy, I heard from Archie that Mrs. Hill called you to Longbourn. He said Mrs. Hill mentioned something about visitors. Who were the –" her Abigail's words stopped and a hand was immediately holding her arm. "Are you unwell? You look pale, Miss Lizzy."

Elizabeth smiled weakly at Alexa. "A sudden headache… perhaps I've exerted myself too much today." Lizzy knew that Alexa was not buying her excuse but she appreciated that her friend remained silent. "Could you please tell my sisters and the visitors my reason for leaving as well as my apologies?"

"Of course, Miss Lizzy." With a bow, Alexa departed.

Lizzy felt guilty lying to them but fear was eating her slowly that all she could focus on was getting away. She was, however, a little worried for Mary and Kitty but seeing as Charlotte and Miss de Bourgh were with them, she felt confident at leaving them.

Besides, Lord Ashbourne had no reason to harm her sisters. It was she whom he was mad at. Perhaps, he was still mad at her for 'lying' back in London and she had made him angrier by befriending his cousin. He wanted nothing to do with her and maybe he thought that she was in Hertfordshire by design; that she was planning to get close to his cousin and gain connections.

She remembered the time when he was the one who would comfort her when she was upset, not the one who would upset her.

"Are you unwell?" He had asked her with a frown, his brows furrowed.

"No," she had answered, hastily wiping the few tears that escaped her eyes.

He had then sat down on the settee beside her. "Then, why are you crying?" Before she could answer him, a handkerchief had been placed on her hands.

She dabbed his handkerchief to her eyes before answering. "You see, Sir, I've no idea that I would be seeing you today so I busied myself with reading." She had explained, glancing down to the opened book on her lap.

"Is it a book of poetry, then? Had the slight, thin short of inclination implied in its words brought you to tears of frustration?"

She had smiled at his use of words, a reference to their first meeting in the Gardiner Warehouse. Shaking her head, she'd answered, "No, it is not a book of poetry."

"If that is the case then perhaps your tears had nothing to do with the book." She had raised her brow at him when she had noticed a playful gleam in his eyes. "Perhaps, it was my absence that brought you to tears and you were only using your reading material as a cover for the truth."

Not expecting his words, she had laughed. "How bold of you to assume such things!"

"Thank you, my sister did say that I am very brave."

She had given him a smile for that. He was always so serious and he rarely teased but when he did, it was to elicit a smile or a laugh from her.

"Now," he had said after some time of silence, his face serious once again. "What is it that really upset you?"

"As I was saying before, it was the book I was reading. However, it seems that I need to be more particular about it. Very well, I shall start to elaborate." She picked up the book on her lap and closed it before handing it to him so he could see the title.

"Clarissa, or, the History of a Young Lady [1]," he had read aloud before throwing her a confused glance.

"She had lived a hard life you know, Clarissa Harlowe, the main character. You see, her siblings resented her because their grandfather left a piece of his land to Clarissa. Then, they were also convincing her to marry a Roger Solmes. Clarissa did not like him." He had no idea how much she could relate to Clarissa's situation.

Like Clarissa, Lizzy had a grandparent who passed almost everything in her possession to her, leaving very little for her sisters and parents. Perhaps it was another reason why most of her family despised her. Reading the novel had made Lizzy fear for the future. What if Mr. Collins, the one who was supposed to inherit Longbourn after Mr. Bennet's passing, came to visit Hertfordshire? What if Mama forced her to wed him?

"That is unfortunate." He had said after she had explained the plot further. Then, probably sensing how much she empathised with Clarissa, he had taken her hands in his, his deep blue eyes looking straight at her. "Well, madam, if you are afraid of something like that happening to you then you need not worry for I am here."

She had smiled softly at him. He had no idea that his words meant so much to her. "Will you help me, then? Will you take me away from my family who hated me and help me escape from an unwanted marriage?"

"No," his answer had hurt her and it had her turning away from him. It was the second time his words had hurt her, the first one was when he agreed to the statement that she was not a lady. However, his hand had taken hold of her chin and urged her to face him once again. "My answer is no. For how could anyone, let alone your family, hate you? Even I, who do not even know your name, could not think I'll of you so it is only impossible for the people who knew you better to hate you."

He had said the words so tenderly that she almost believed him. Perhaps she had frowned that time, after recalling how her family, indeed, loathed her, proving his claims untrue because he had been quick to reassure her. "But, if that ever happened to you, know that I would be there to help you."

"Thank you." She had whispered softly. After that, they had both realised that he was still holding her chin and they had been sitting a little too close. From the corner of her eye, Lizzy had seen Alexa watching them with a smile on her face. As if they had a mutual agreement, the two of them moved on their farthest side of the settee.

After a while she had turned to him and said, "Was that your way of asking me to tell you my name?"

"No, but if it convinced you to finally tell me who you are, then who am I to deny the knowledge you are about to bestow?"

"Very well, I might just grant your wish before I leave London."

"I will be counting on that, fair lady."

A part of her felt sad at the faraway memory of the, then, unnamed gentleman she had met in London. How had their budding friendship turned into something like this? Was her first impression of him wrong? Was he really the intelligent and kind man she had first thought him to be or was he the arrogant and prideful man she had seen in their recent encounters?

Mrs. Winters brought her out of her thoughts. "Here's some hot chocolate, Lizzy. Drink it while it's hot."

"Thank you, Mrs. Winters." She might not always tell Mrs. Winters everything but the older woman seemed to have a strange way of knowing if something was amiss.

"What are you waiting for? Are you going to eat the cookies Cook prepared or am I going to leave you here while I visit your Grandma Claire?"

This time, Lizzy thanked Mrs. Winters with a wholehearted smile. Yes, a visit to Grandma Claire's grave could be what she needed.

**-p&p-**

A week had passed after Darcy's attempt to apologise, before he got the chance to meet Miss Elizabeth Bennet once again. Unlike his cousins, Richard and Anne, who had spent the last couple of days being exceptionally sweet to each other, Darcy spent it alone in turmoil.

First, he had come to the realisation that what he felt for Elizabeth Bennet was beyond attraction. After alternating between staying in his chambers alone and riding Boreas in the morning, he was finally able to name the strange feelings he had for her… love.

He had denied it at first, persuading himself that he was only infatuated or guilty from their last few encounters. But every time his mind went back to her hurt expression – glassy eyes and trembling lips yet still facing the crowd bravely – he couldn't find it in himself to flee. No, Darcy couldn't bear leaving her.

Not when he had seen the way her mother treated her in public. If that's how far Mrs. Bennet could go in a public setting the how did she treat Elizabeth in private? He wouldn't leave her. Not when she probably thought the worse of him. All he wanted, at the very least, was for her to think of him as she had before – a loyal and true companion.

He couldn't name when he had started falling in love with her. Was it on their first meeting that day in the rain? Their first encounter at the Gardiner Warehouse? When he realised his wrong accusations and how much he missed her when she had left London? Seeing her again at the Assembly? One thing he was certain was that he loved her. He was in the middle before he realised he had begun.

And seeing her play so beautifully on the pianoforte only confirmed his feelings. At first he was irritated at Miss Lucas for taking away Elizabeth from him. He was about to approach her, to try and apologise once again when Miss Lucas had led Elizabeth to the pianoforte and asked her to play.

However, as soon as her fingers glided on the first few keys, his irritation evaporated slowly. It went all forgotten when he heard her voice. It's as if he was brought back to that day in the rain when he had first heard her sing. How could anyone remain in a foul mood when she played so enchantingly? He could feel the melancholy in her notes, the hope in her voice and the determination in her eyes.

Unconsciously, he found himself walking to one of the pillars where he could hide himself from unwanted company and at the same time admire Elizabeth as she performed. It was only when Elizabeth had left the pianoforte and gave way to her sister, Miss Mary, that Darcy dared approach her once again.

Fortunately for him, Sir William Lucas seemed eager to introduce him to Elizabeth. "Ah, Miss Eliza, why are you not dancing? Lord Ashbourne, allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I'm sure, when so much beauty is before you."

"Indeed, sir, I have not the least intention of dancing. Please don't suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner."

Darcy felt bad that Elizabeth looked like a deer caught by hunters but he was desperate to talk to her. "I would be very happy if you would do me the honour of dancing with me, Miss Elizabeth. However, if you are not inclined to dance then perhaps I could accompany you to get some punch."

"A drink would be preferable, thank you." With that, he escorted Elizabeth to the punch table. If he was dismayed that she barely leaned on his arm, Darcy did not show it. He could work on making her comfortable with him in time. As of now, he was only thankful that he had a chance to talk to her.

When Lord Ashbourne and Miss Elizabeth Bennet left Sir William, Lady Lucas approached her husband. "What could you possibly think of introducing Lord Ashbourne to Eliza, husband? You knew that he insulted her at the Assembly last time."

John Lucas, who saw his father's actions, walked towards his parents just in time to join their conversation. He may not be present at the annual assembly due to some estate matters, but his mother and sisters kept him informed on everything that's happened, particularly to their honorary family member, Eliza. "Indeed, father. Do you not see how uneasy she was when she saw him entered the room earlier?"

"Of course I remember Lord Ashbourne's remarks and I saw Eliza's reaction earlier. However, I also saw the Marquess watched our Eliza with interest. I daresay he is apologising for his misdoings right now." At this, the three of them looked over to where their subjects of conversation were standing.

Lord Ashbourne handed Miss Eliza a drink and while the latter did accept it, it was obvious to anyone looking at them that she was avoiding his gaze.

"Trying to apologise, at least." Sir William remedied with an amused smile.

"Do not tell me you are playing matchmaker, husband!"

"Do not sound so appalled, Sharon. I only wanted what's best for Eliza."

Lady Lucas harrumphed at this. "And you think that what's best for her was a man who insulted her in public?"

"At this, I think Papa has a point Mama." John Lucas interrupted his mother's thoughts, pointing at the Marquess' disappointed expression when Miss Eliza left him standing in a corner in favour of accompanying Charlotte.

"I still do not see it. But if he proves himself worthy of Eliza then I would be glad to help. Lord knows how much Eliza needed to leave the Bennets, save for Mary and Kitty."

"Speaking of Miss Mary, I think it is time for me to claim the dances I was supposed to have with her during the Assembly." With that, John Lucas left his amused parents behind.

**-p&p-**

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn is your mysterious lady in London." Richard did not say it in a form of question but as a statement. They have just got back from the small gathering at Lucas Lodge and the two headed straight to Netherfield's study. The others (save for Lady Catherine and Mr. Collins who left earlier that afternoon to attend some business matters and to fetch Mrs. Jenkinson from Bath) had already excused themselves to retire.

"She is." He should have been surprised that his cousin found out but he was not. Richard did not join the military and earned his rank as Colonel at an age of eight and twenty for no reason. What Darcy was surprised about, was his cousin's silence after confirming his guess. "Are you not going to pester me for details?"

"Knowing you, cousin, the two of you did not part in good terms in London – most likely because of your mouth. And I believe that seeing her at the Assembly has taken you a surprise hence the reason why you slighted her – once again, not making a good reunion because you couldn't control the words that leaves your mouth."

"You've met Miss Elizabeth in London?" Another voice joined their conversation and Darcy did not know whether to be glad or not that it was only Anne who heard them. He thought that she had already retired. But then again, knowing Anne, she was probably looking for Richard. Defeated, Darcy answered, "Yes."

Anne nodded thoughtfully at him before saying, "You know, Ashbourne, seeking Miss Elizabeth on every gathering – even if your purpose is to apologise for your misdoings – is not wise."

"I know that."

Anne narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you, cousin? Do you not see how uncomfortable she is around you? You are spoiling her meetings with her friends."

It hurt to hear Anne's words and Darcy could not help but vent some of his frustrations to her. "Do you think I do not know that?" His voice was even but some of the anguish he had been feeling for the past week was evident in his tone. "You know I always prefer doing things privately, Anne. And I called at Longbourn with Bingley, multiple times! She is not there. I even took a habit of going out on morning rides in hopes of meeting her. It was all for naught."

"Well, you deserved it." Anne said crossing his arms. "She would not avoid you like a plague if your offense had not been grave."

Darcy knew that Elizabeth was avoiding him, but hearing it out loud cut him deep. His expression must have betrayed what he was feeling because Anne's next words gave him hope. "But I supposed that you've had enough grovelling and I might just have some information that may be of good use to you…"

Silence followed Anne's words and Darcy looked at her impatiently. To Darcy's irritation, Richard only watched them in amusement. Darcy glared at him. His look seemed to do the work because Richard let out a laugh and said, "Do not tease the Marquess, Anne. I believe his begging is already reserved for Miss Elizabeth so I daresay he would not even say 'please' if that's what you are waiting for."

Anne was still not moved.

Darcy sighed. "I will not impose myself on her anymore, cousin, if that is what you are on about. I only wished for her to know that I regret my actions. If she does not wish to see me after that, then I will respect her decision. However, I do not promise that I will not try to be in her good graces once again."

"That was a lengthy replacement for 'please', cousin." Darcy ignored Richard's comments and focused on what Anne had to say.

"Very well." Darcy sighed at Anne's response and listened carefully as she told him of what she knew. However, his relief at learning new information about Elizabeth was accompanied with confusion and worry. "Where did you learn all of this, Anne?"

"I happen to overhear some conversations earlier. I merely took note of the facts."

"Shall I recruit you as a spy for the regiment?" Darcy heard Richard asked but his mind was far away. He was overwhelmed with questions. Elizabeth was staying at Longbourn's Dower House? Why would she need to stay there when her family was at Longbourn's manor? _Was her relationship with her mother that bad?_ He thought, remembering how Mrs. Bennet responded to his thoughtless comment at the Assembly. Whatever it was, Darcy would find out.

But first, he needed to apologise. This time, for certain.

**-p&p-**

"Miss Lizzy," Elizabeth lifted her pointer finger to her mouth to signal for Alexa to keep quiet. They were not yet familiar with the new footmen so Elizabeth was more careful. Even Alexa's hushed tones were not allowed, at least until they managed to escape Longbourn's premises.

After seeing Alexa nod in understanding, Lizzy picked up a medium sized rock and tossed it on a tree opposite their direction. When Andrew, one of the new footmen, turned his head at the sound, Lizzy made a run for it and beckoned Alexa to follow her quickly.

Thank goodness the new footman bought her trick. If it was Mr. Graham, he wouldn't fall for it. Archie, on the other hand, would have helped them escape.

Only when they were a good ten minutes away from Longbourn's borders did Lizzy felt safe to speak. "What were you about to say earlier, Alexa?"

"It would be a pointless question now, Miss Lizzy. But since you asked, I will answer." Alexa sighed. Then with an almost exasperated tone, her Abigail said, "Why are we doing this again, Miss Lizzy?"

Knowing how much Alexa disliked her family members save for her two middle sisters, she answered Alexa in a patient tone. "We talked about this last night, Alexa. Jane is sick at Netherfield and I wanted to make sure she is well." Her elder sister might not always be nice to Lizzy but she was kind to Mary and Kitty. That was enough for Lizzy to care for her in return.

This time, Alexa did not hide her displeasure and rolled her eyes openly for her mistress to see. "Why take such measures at defying Mrs. Winters, Miss Lizzy? I can understand if it was for Miss Mary or Miss Kitty but Jane?! She was almost as bad as Mr. Bennet for not taking action at Mrs. Bennet's behaviour."

If her tone of voice was not enough then not calling Jane 'Miss' was proof of Alexa's disapproval for Lizzy's actions. Even if her Abigail only tolerated her parents and other sisters, Alexa always made sure to at least respect them in terms of address.

"I know you do not like Jane, Alexa, but she is my sister. However, I thank you for indulging my wish to see her even if you are against it."

"As if I could deny you anything." Alexa fondly said. "I daresay that if you tried speaking to Mrs. Winters instead of us sneaking out, she would have acquiesced to your request of seeing your sister."

"I do not know about that." Lizzy sighed. She knew her freedom in London was restricted but it had never been so in Hertfordshire. That was why it shocked Lizzy when Mrs. Winters refused her request last night to see Jane today. It was normal to be accompanied by them on visiting the tenants but usually she could ramble by herself alone most of the time. What had changed that she could no longer do so now?

The remaining of their walk was spent in silence. While Lizzy was fond of walking, she would have loved it if Apollo was there with them. But looking at her hem, which appeared to be six inches deep in the mud, Lizzy was glad for the exertion. She and Grandma Claire used to walk like this, not caring if their dresses got dirty. They made sure to use their old dresses for that of course; they didn't want to vex the laundry maid.

**-p&p-**

"What are you doing here?" Jane asked as soon as Elizabeth entered the room. Her voice was hoarse and weak.

"You need not to strain yourself. I only came here to check on you." Jane opened her mouth to speak but Lizzy beat her to it. "Fear not for I am not here to stay. I only brought some herbs for the Cook to give you. I know that it soothes your throat quickly when you drink it."

Before any more words could be said, Lizzy left the room. "Get well, sister."

She wanted to tell Jane that she didn't have to obey Mama's machinations (for surely, Mrs. Bennet was the one who would make Jane ride on horseback despite it being so obvious that will rain) but that would only be for naught. Jane would take Mama's side and Lizzy did not visit to argue with her sister.

"Miss Elizabeth, how is your sister?" Elizabeth let out a small smile at Mr. Bingley. She could tell that he cared for Jane and was happy for her sister.

"Still recovering but I believe with enough rest, she would be back to her old self."

"I am glad to hear it, then." Mr. Bingley smiled. "Will you stay here until she recovers?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "I would not wish to impose, Mr. Bingley and I am sure that I will also be needed at Longbourn."

After declining an invitation for nuncheon and bidding goodbye, Lizzy headed to the gardens. It was where Alexa was supposed to be waiting, according to Mrs. Norton, Netherfield's Housekeeper. However, upon reaching her destination, it was not her Abigail who greeted her.

There, standing beside the wooden bench, with hands behind his back, was Lord Ashbourne.

Darcy had seen Miss Elizabeth Bennet before she reached Netherfield that morning. He had been on his way to try his luck again at going to Longbourn in hopes of encountering her when voices had interrupted Boreas in his tracks. If he had been surprised that the voices came from Miss Elizabeth with the same lady's maid she had back in London, he had been more surprise by the subject of their conversation.

Apparently, the eldest Bennet sister wasn't what Darcy had thought her to be. It had seemed that there was more to the Bennet family than Mrs. Bennet's unpardonable behaviour.

Before the two ladies could catch him eavesdropping, Darcy had quietly steered Boreas to the opposite direction. Together, man and horse had taken the long way back towards Netherfield. As soon as they had gotten back, Darcy had led Boreas to the stables and he had rushed towards the entrance of Netherfield.

However, upon seeing her approached – the hem of her gown six inches deep in mud and eyes made brighter by the exercise – he had hid himself. Anne's words from a couple of days ago had played in his head. "_Do you not see how uncomfortable she is around you? You are spoiling her meetings with her friends._"

He would let Elizabeth talk with her sister first, and then he would talk to her.

He had done just that.

Now, Elizabeth was standing right in front of him, her expression a mixture of surprise and alarm. It was the same expression that had adorned her face on their last encounter at Lucas Lodge. However, unlike the last time, Darcy would not beat around the bush. This time, he would speak directly.

"Miss Elizabeth, I wanted to talk to you for quite some time now." Darcy said hurriedly, afraid that this opportunity to talk to her might escape his grasps once again. "I noticed that you have been avoiding me and I do not blame you for that. Indeed, my actions towards you were unpardonable so I would expect no less from you." He swallowed as she continued to watch him silently. "However, you must allow me to tell you how deeply I regret my actions."

Looking at her eyes, he carried on. "I've been a selfish being all my life. As a child I was given good principles, but was left to follow them in pride and conceit. I supposed dealing with the Ton and being fawned over by them only strengthened that. I have a handful of friends but the people around me were more deceitful than loyal. That's why my initial reaction when your station in life was anger. In my mind, I thought you have deceived me, but believe me after the shock has worn out from our conversation during our last encounter in London I regretted my words immediately."

Elizabeth remained silent but he could tell that she was uncertain of his words.

"I was the one at fault. I shouldn't have accused you. I had the power to know the truth, the connections. If there was someone who deceived anyone, then it was me."

"If what you are saying is true, then why would you slight me in public?"

"I do not know how to talk to you after our last meeting."

"You are afraid of speaking to me and apologising but you have the courage to insult me in front of other people?" Her voice was laced with hurt and anger.

"You know first-hand that I certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done." He said, remembering the time when Elizabeth had witnessed his encounter Mr. Stewart, one of Richard's acquaintances, in the Gardiner Warehouse.

"You say that but you converse with me well enough." She huffed.

"It's because you're you, Eliza – Miss Elizabeth." Darcy countered, gesturing widely with his hands, trying to express his meaning. "You have this way of drawing me out of my shell and having me talk comfortably about almost anything." That was the farthest explanation he could say without revealing his feelings.

"So I have a way of drawing out insults from you as well?"

"No!" Darcy exclaimed. "I –" he stopped not knowing what else to say. It was not like he could say more for he Elizabeth's lady's maid had already spotted them.

"Miss Lizzy!"

Elizabeth glanced at him one more time before making her way to the young woman.

"Miss Elizabeth," he called when she was halfway there. When she stopped, he rushed up to her bringing out the sealed parchment hidden in his pocket. "Will you please do me the honour of reading this letter?"

With one last look at her face and a bow, he departed.

**-p&p-**

"And where have you two, young misses, been?" Sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in her hands, Mrs. Winters raised her brow on the two girls, patiently waiting for an answer.

Guiltily, Elizabeth and Alexa sat down on the seat across Mrs. Winters and began explaining. When they're done, the older woman sighed. "No matter how good your intentions were, you still sneaked out. To go to a stranger's house no less!"

"You were never this protective in Hertfordshire Mrs. Winters…" Alexa pointed out.

"Very well, I believe I must explain further seeing how stubborn you two are." Pouring herself another cup of tea, Mrs. Winters began telling them about Graham seeing a gentleman riding near Longbourn almost every morning. "We do not know his name or his appearance. Graham told me that two other riders were riding alongside him as well."

After Mrs. Winters informed them about Mrs. Gardiner's latest letter, which composed of news about Mr. Price – the former business partner of an Earl whom her uncle exposed – Lizzy could not blame Mrs. Winters for being overprotective. According to her Aunt Maddie, Mr. Price died in a heart attack two months ago and his son had paid the Gardiners a visit regarding what happened. Her Aunt's letter implied that the young Mr. Price was out for revenge. Apparently, he was angry that the Gardiners put his father in prison and he believed that his father would have lived longer if it was not for the Gardiners' meddling.

This made Lizzy guiltier for disobeying Mrs. Winters. So when the older woman banned her from going outside unless she practised all her lessons for three straight days, Lizzy obliged without complains. "You could still visit Apollo but no riding around the estate for now."

After saying her sorry once again, Lizzy retired to her chambers. Seeing as they were both shock from all that Mrs. Winters told them, Lizzy was certain that Alexa would not be asking her for information regarding Lord Ashbourne that night.

Now wearing her night gown, Lizzy settled herself by the window to read the letter that Lord Ashbourne gave her.

* * *

[1] **Clarissa, or, the History of a Young Lady** is an epistolary novel by English writer Samuel Richardson, published in 1748. It tells the tragic story of a young woman, Clarissa Harlowe, whose quest for virtue is continually thwarted by her family. The Harlowes are a recently wealthy family whose preoccupation with increasing their standing in society leads to obsessive control of their daughter, Clarissa, who ultimately dies as a result. It is considered one of the longest novels in the English language (based on estimated word count). It is generally regarded as Richardson's masterpiece.

**What do you guys think?**


	7. Chapter 7

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 6 – Lizzy was afraid of Lord Ashbourne thinking that he would physically harm her. The Gathering at Lucas Lodge. Darcy realising that he love Elizabeth. Richard found out that Lizzy was Darcy's mysterious lady in London, Lizzy sneaked out to visit a sick Jane at Netherfield, Darcy gave apologised to Lizzy and gave her a letter, and Mrs. Winters informed Lizzy about a Mr. Price who was seeking revenge to the Gardiners.**

* * *

Three days had passed since Elizabeth had read Lord Ashbourne's letter and up until now, she knew not what to make of it. It brought her so many emotions that she hardly knew what to really feel. Perhaps, it was because this was the first time that someone had actually asked her for forgiveness.

Of course, she had her fair share of misunderstandings with Alexa, Charlotte, John, Mary, Kitty, and a few other people but they were always petty things like when they had forced her to rest when and she didn't want to because there were many things left to do regarding the estate management. This, her situation with Lord Ashbourne, was not like any of her previous squabbles with her friends.

When he handed her his letter, she suspected that its content contained his apology. She was not wrong. However, certain passages in the Marquess' letter surprised her. Like the part when he told her about his father.

'_You see, my father, though good, is a very strict man. He has always warned me to select very specific people to be my friend, indeed my friendship with Bingley was forbidden at first.'_

The next sentences that followed were a brief description of his childhood focused on his insecurities and jealousy towards the son of his father's steward whom his father favoured. Apparently, the Marquess tried to be the perfect son his father wanted but he felt it was never enough. Nevertheless, he still continued trying up until now.

_'It was only when I had proven my father wrong about his steward's son that he permitted me to continue my acquaintance with Bingley. When I met you, I did not hesitate to further my acquaintance with you because it was evident in your attire that you come from the first circles. That was why when you told me of your identity, I was so shock that I had accused you of lying. The very first thing in my mind when I found out the truth about you was that I did it again, I have disappointed father. You see, I have disappointed him only a month before meeting you and I always take his criticisms of me severely.'_

Elizabeth could sympathise with him in that. While 'strict' was not the word she would use to describe her parents, the way they treated her affected her deeply. It made her doubt herself for most of the time and it sometimes clouded her judgement. That said, Lizzy somehow understood where the Marquess was coming from.

Indeed, she was deeply affected that he had shared some of his past and his insecurities with her. She, herself, had never told anyone else of how she was feeling. The people around her knew of her situation because of what they saw but never in her perspective. Did this mean that Lord Ashbourne trusted her greatly? Reading his a part of his childhood reminded her of the unnamed friend he had once been to her back in London. Granted, they had never talked of anything too personal regarding their families but they had shared their honest opinions about books and other topics they had spoken of.

If she did not felt inclined to forgive him after reading what he had written regarding his father, then the next paragraphs that followed did.

'_I know that my reasons are not enough to excuse my horrible behaviour towards you but I write of this so that you can see where I am coming from – not to convince to forgive me by excusing my actions but to forget the words I have said that hurt you. I beg of you Miss Elizabeth, please do not listen to the words of a fool. The man who had accused you of lying and deceit, who had called you tolerable and not handsome enough, that man was a fool.'_

Lizzy would have laughed at the Marquess for calling himself a fool if she wasn't so affected by his words.

_'You are not a liar or a deceiver, indeed you are one of the most genuine people of my acquaintance; you are not afraid to speak your mind and give your opinions, you do not hide your laughter. You are certainly more than tolerable and you are definitely more than handsome. I remember my cousin, the Colonel, asking me what the cause of my smile was (for you know that as I have mentioned above, I always kept a serious face because my father would not like it if I showed my true feelings to the world) one day after I had spent a rainy afternoon in Hyde Park. Needless to say, he was bewildered that an unnamed lady with fine deep green eyes was the cause of a light expression on my face.'_

At this, Lizzy frowned. She knew what it was like to hide one's feelings from others but at least, she was not forced to do so. If she wanted, she knew her sisters and closest friends would let her confide in them. In Lord Ashbourne's case however, his father asked him to wear a mask in front of others. And at such a young age! Lizzy did not know what was worse, to give a false smile (like she did sometimes to ease the worries of the people concerned for her) or to have a stoic face despite wanting to smile (like the Marquess).

Nonetheless, she felt relieved and something else that brought her comfort when he wrote he didn't realise he was smiling after their first encounter.

_'I did not write the previous statements to flatter my way to gain your forgiveness. Indeed, I would understand it if you chose not to forgive me even though I find it hard to live with that, knowing that you think so ill of me. But I find it harder to live if you are thinking wrongly and lowly of yourself because of my words. I still remember your face after I had shouted at you at London and after I had insulted you at the assembly and it pains me to think that I have caused that expression on your face. You do not deserve to be hurt, especially by the fool I once was. The person writing this letter, however, was less foolish and less prideful – so much so that he can now see the error of his ways.'_

No matter how many times Lizzy had read his letter, this part never failed to bring her to tears because she knew, that even if Lord Ashbourne had not said those awful things to her, she would still think lowly of herself. After years of hearing Mr. and Mrs. Bennet's hurtful words about her, it was kind of hard not to doubt herself and her worth. Despite that, knowing that Lord Ashbourne did not think of Lizzy the way her parents did, brought her comfort.

Perhaps that was why she was so hurt and angry at him, that even when he was apologising she was countering his words. Because it never occurred to her that he would behave badly against her. So now, that she was re-reading his apology for the umpteenth time, she was moved.

At first, of course, she thought that he only wanted her forgiveness so that he could redeem himself in the eyes of society. After all, many people in Meryton were already not fond of him. She had also thought that maybe his cousin, Miss de Bourgh, asked him to do it. Miss de Bourgh did seem fond of her, Mary, and Kitty. But after re-reading his letter for the third time, Lizzy realised that he did it because it was what he wanted to do.

If he wanted to look good in society or the eye of his cousin, then he wouldn't have tried to talk to her alone so many times. He wouldn't give her a letter in which he opened up to her and called himself a 'fool.'

_'I understand if you cannot forgive me for my offenses – indeed, you agreeing to read this letter is kindness itself._ _No matter what you choose, however, whether to forgive me or not, I would respect your decision. But please do not blame me if I do try to make it up to you and try to be in your good graces once again. But if you truly do not wish my presence in your life, then one word from you and I will keep my distance forever. Thank you, Madam, for reading this letter. I will only add, God bless you. – Fitzwilliam Darcy.'_

Did she really want him to leave her forever after he tried so hard to apologise for his mistakes? No, Lizzy did not want that. She already lost some of the people that cared for her deeply like Grandma Claire and Lady Amelia, she would not let a misunderstanding or two make her lose another one.

The next time she'd see Lord Ashbourne, she's going to tell him that he was forgiven.

**-p&p-**

"Where is my Anne going?" Anne de Bourgh tried rolling her eyes at Richard but even she couldn't help the smile that graced her face. They had finally come to a decision that Richard would sell his commission and they would get married next year. But since her mother had not yet returned from Bath, their engagement was currently kept a secret.

"I am going to visit Miss Elizabeth or else I shall go mad at thinking about my mother's whereabouts. Do you not think it strange that she seems lenient to me since we got here? She never allowed me to attend balls without her and she had never left me alone in a place that was not Rosings." Anne frowned and looked up at Richard for a reasonable answer but what she got was a mischievous smile instead.

Anne harrumphed. "Just because you can steal kisses without much discretion and that you can be affectionate with me more than the usual, you would be delighted by my mother's strange behaviour."

Sensing that she was actually troubled by the situation, Richard took he hands in his. "Perhaps, she realised that you are no longer a little girl and she wanted to give you more independence."

She sighed, "Perhaps." She was still worried though. Something was going on, Anne could feel it.

"Now, then, shall we call on Miss Elizabeth now? I see the carriage is ready."

At this statement, Anne raised her brow. "We, Richard?"

"Yes, I will accompany you and since your lady's maid is coming, there shall be no concern regarding propriety. Besides, do you think that I did not notice you were escaping from me these past few days in Miss Bennet's room?"

"Do not pout, Richard. It is unbecoming of you." Richard opened his mouth to say his protests against her comment but her next words made him serious. "You know very well that I am only spending time with her to assist Miss Bingley out of politeness and because of what Ashbourne told us regarding Miss Jane Bennet."

"And what have you find out so far?" Richard asked. He was really bothered when Ashbourne informed them of what he heard from Miss Elizabeth and her Abigail's conversation. While nothing specific was said about the eldest Miss Bennet, it did not stop the cousins from being suspicious.

After all, the three of them noticed the odd looks that the Lucases had when Mr. and Mrs. Bennet was mentioned. The looks of sympathy on their faces when they talked of Miss Elizabeth were not also lost on the cousins.

"I will tell you and Ashbourne once Miss Bennet returned to Longbourn. I believe at Sunday she will be fully recovered."

"Very well, let us go then." With that, Richard assisted her into the carriage.

**-p&p-**

"Miss de Bourgh, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what a pleasant surprise." Elizabeth smiled at the visitors after Graham announced their presence. After being cooped up in the house for days she was glad to have some visitors. Mary and Kitty visited her yesterday and the day before but her sisters told her that they would not be able to come today. Apparently, Mrs. Bennet wanted their company to visit Jane this day.

"We heard from Miss Lucas that you are staying here. I hope we did not disturb you."

"No, you did not disturb me. If anything, you saved me from finishing a terrible drawing." Lizzy smiled gesturing to the art materials scattered on the corner of the room before pulling the bell for tea. "Please, do sit."

"Surely it could not be that bad, Miss Bennet." Miss de Bourgh said.

"Oh, but it is." Lizzy laughed. She considered showing them the drawing but then thought better of it. If she presented her work to them, they would think that she was demurring herself for calling it 'terrible'. After all, her drawings always seemed good to many people but to her, as the artist, it was not good enough. "My Aunt Gardiner paints well, though."

"Mrs. Gardiner is you Aunt?" The surprise Colonel asked. "I am one of Mr. Gardiner's investors. I have met his wife a few times."

"And have you seen some of her paintings?" Lizzy asked.

"Yes, I believe my father has bought some of them for my mother."

"My Aunt does love to paint flowers, but I believe she's best at portraits. You see, a year would not pass without her painting me at least once."

Before any more could be said Agnes, one of the maids at Dower House, brought the tea. After thanking her, Lizzy poured her guest and herself a drink.

"You spend time in London, yearly, then?" Miss de Bourgh asked.

"Indeed. Though my Aunt and Uncle visit me here too, I spend more time in London than they do here in Hertfordshire."

The conversation was then directed to other topics regarding the delights of the country and town. The Colonel also told them of his travels and adventure during the army. When it was time for the visitors to go, Elizabeth invited them for tea the next day. "I am afraid I couldn't visit you on Netherfield but if you'd like you could come here on the morrow."

"That would be wonderful, Miss Bennet. But, may I ask why you could not pay us a call?" Miss de Bourgh asked.

Elizabeth explained what she knew about Mr. Price briefly to Miss de Bourgh and the Colonel. In return, they expressed their understanding as well as their concerns.

"Was that why you were staying here in the Dower House?"

The question caught Lizzy off guard. She might have no problem telling them about the situation with Mr. Price but she was still not willing to share what was going on inside the Bennet family. Forcing a smile on her face, she answered, "Not exactly, Colonel. You see, I had a very close relationship with my grandmother and when she died, I couldn't bear to live the place where we shared most of our memories together."

"I am sorry."

Lizzy waved it off. "No need, Colonel Fitzwilliam. Indeed, talking of my grandmother makes me happy."

"We shall meet again on the morrow for tea, then?" Anne said before boarding the carriage.

"Yes, you could also extend the invitation to the rest of your party, if they'd like." Lizzy couldn't help but add. If luck was on her side, maybe she could talk to Lord Ashbourne if he accepted.

After expressing their agreement and a repeat of farewells, the carriage made its way back to Netherfield Park.

**-p&p-**

"I thought I told you to give Miss Elizabeth the space she needed before you visit her?" Darcy frowned at his cousins as soon as they found some time alone in the library. He did not want his cousins to influence Elizabeth's decision on forgiving him or not. If she was going to give him a second chance, he wanted it to be her choice alone.

"I believe three days is enough space, cousin." Anne assured. "Besides, I believe she was really delighted with our surprise visit considering she could not leave her house."

Darcy couldn't help but think of a million scenarios based on Anne's words. "Could not leave? What happened? Is she injured? Hurt? Sick?"

Richard put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. "None of those, Darce, though I don't know if the real situation is any better."

Before he could inquire about the real situation, Anne beat him to it and explained everything. "I believe Miss Elizabeth is in no real danger, Ashbourne. Surely if this Mr. Price wanted to get back to the Gardiners then they would be his real target and not Miss Elizabeth."

"I agree with Anne, Darce."

Darcy nodded, seeing logic in his cousin's reasoning. However, he could not help but worry. "Regardless, I shall write to my men to find out more about this Mr. Price." Before either of his cousins could protest, he held his hand out. "I know I have no right to meddle with their problems but I would not rest until I know that there really is no threat for her out there, regardless if she forgives me or not. Besides, what will happen to Uncle's and Richard's investments if the Gardiners are being hunted down by a man?" The last sentence was his attempt to lighten up the situation but it did very little to placate their worries.

"Very well, cousin. Since Miss Elizabeth is my friend and I am concern for her as well, I would let you do what you think is best."

"Thank you, Anne."

"But I do not think that Miss Elizabeth is an unforgiving woman. Despite whatever transpired between the two of you, I believe that she is willing to give your friendship another chance."

"Do not mess with me, Cousin." His lips thinned.

"Oh, but Darce, you must believe Anne for her words are not without evidence. Indeed, Miss Elizabeth invited us for tea tomorrow and she said to extend the invitation to the rest of Netherfield party if you all would like to come."

Seeing him frozen at Richard's words, Anne laughed. "Worry not, cousin. I believe Mr. Bingley would not dare leave his angel even if the invitation came from his angel's sister. Mr. Hurst would also want to stay here and drink in peace. As for the ladies, a good hostess would never leave a sick guess for an invitation for tea, right?"

"So the three of us will be the only ones joining her at tea, tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yes, ol' chap. It's about time for you to stop being grumpy. I also can't wait for Anne to meet the smiling Darcy cousin I got to meet for a few weeks back in London."

Darcy couldn't help but smile a little at Richard's statement. If what his cousins told him was true, then there was hope for him. He was looking forward to it.

**-p&p-**

"If I knew that you'd be fidgeting that much, Darce, I wouldn't have stopped you from riding your horse!" Richard said, looking at him with more amusement than irritation.

Across from them, Anne shook her head. "Do be silent, Richard. We all know that you wanted Ashbourne to ride with us in the carriage so you could enjoy watching him in a restless state."

Richard smiled teasingly at Anne. "Aww, my Anne does know me well."

Instead of listening to his cousins' exchange, Darcy focused his attention to the view outside. He knew very well why Richard took delights on seeing him so rattled. After all, his father, the Duke of Derbyshire, raised him to be stoic at any situation. At the young age of ten, he perfected the art of masking his feelings, so much so that even his own family could not discern his thoughts.

The only one he allowed to know more about him was his mother. Perhaps it was because he knew that his mother would never judge him and she would always show him her support. Maybe it was because he had been separated from his mother at an early age and he wanted to get closer to her that was why he always talked to her about his life – be it in form of letters or actually speaking.

He was seven when his mother left Pemberly to settle in one of their other estates. At the time she was gone, his father began teaching him his duties as a landlord. When he was not with his tutors, he was with his father. He was also at this age when his father taught him to wear a mask on his face. When his mother came back, it was on the day of his eighth birthday.

And because his mother stayed with them at Pemberly again since then, he had had someone whom he could show his true feelings to. Unfortunately for Fitzwilliam, at the age of twelve, four months after his mother gave birth to Georgiana, his mother left again. It was a rough time for him because he did not know the reason why his mother left them and took his little sister with her.

Unfortunately for him, his sadness had no place at the time. His father had become more severe in reminding him of his duties and responsibilities. That same year, he was sent to school with George Wickham. When he came back to Pemberly to spend the holidays, he was relieved that his little sister was home. His mother, however, was still away.

Perhaps, the natural reaction that was expected from him was to be mad at his mother for going away. However, Fitzwilliam could not find it in himself to be angry at her. How could he, when his mother was there, always supporting him and guiding him when he felt lost? Indeed, Fitzwilliam felt that even though his mother was physically absent, she had helped him get passed the hard times in his life – even if her only way to show it was through her letters. She was so unlike his father, who, though present in his life, was always cold if not looking down at him in disappointment.

Up until now, Fitzwilliam knew not what his mother's reason was for staying away. The only thing he was sure of was that his father had allowed her mother to leave and that his parents' relationship was not the cause of his mother's separation from them. Even now, Fitzwilliam knew and could tell that his mother and father still loved each other very much. At times, he still wondered what could possibly be his mother's reason for leaving them.

His father always seemed to soften when his mother was by his side and he couldn't help but think of things like: Would his father act warmer towards him in his teens if his mother had not left them? Would he have bonded with him more, had his mother became more active in their lives?

Shaking his head of negative thoughts, Darcy tried to think of other things. Positive ones – like how his mother's advice appeared to be more effective than he thought. For, surely, if Elizabeth was alright with being in his presence then there was a huge possibility that she had forgiven him, considering she was always avoiding him in their past meetings.

Darcy still remembered writing to his mother, asking her on how he could apologise to a lady after offending her so gravely, twice. Of course, he had written it as a hypothetical situation only. He didn't know if his mother believed him or not, but he suspected that perhaps she might have an inkling on what was truly going on. Nonetheless, his mother had replied and he was surprised that she had sent it in express.

_'The first thing you have to do, son, in this hypothetical situation, is to let the hypothetical lady know that you realised you hurt them. Next is to admit your behaviour and acknowledge what you did. Of course, you should express remorse in your action, show her that you regret doing what you did. Lastly, make amends. Promise her that it will not happen again and reassure her that you are going to change your behaviour. Now, William, I have told you what I know but to gain the hypothetical lady's forgiveness. It is you who_ _have to work. Just show her that you are sincere, son, and show her what you really feel. If you did that, then I am sure that she will find it in her to forgive you.'_

With those wise words from his mother, he began composing a letter on what he would like to tell Elizabeth. He hid nothing in that letter, even going as far as revealing his own insecurities and his childhood. But of course, he only made that to act as his guide so he could say the right thing. He knew that he was better at written words than spoken ones, as Richard so often reminded him.

And as it was, by the time he found the chance to ask for forgiveness, he didn't get to express what he wanted in words. So in a moment of panic and desperation, when Elizabeth was about to leave, Darcy had snatched the sealed letter hidden in the pocket of his coat and handed it to her.

"Done with your wool-gathering, cousin?" Richard's voice caused Darcy to start, making the former laugh. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Come, gentlemen. Miss Elizabeth is expecting us."

**-p&p-**

"I am very glad you came." Elizabeth greeted her visitors with a smile. "And just in time too. Please, do sit." She was not surprised that only the three of them were present. She had already guessed that Mr. Bingley would not want to leave Jane and it must be the same for his sisters. The situation was in her favour. This way, she could talk to Lord Ashbourne and make amends like she had planned.

Miss de Bourgh, who sat herself on the settee across her, smiled teasingly. "Are we just in time to save you from finishing another 'terrible drawing'?"

Elizabeth laughed. "No, Miss de Bourgh, I did not draw anything today. However, you are just in time to save Cook from my meddling in the kitchen. She loves me but I am afraid that after stealing my third biscuit, I believe she was now unsure if her affection for me is wise or not."

"Stealing!" Colonel Fitzwilliam exclaimed in feigned horror from beside Miss de Bourgh. "And here we thought that you could never do something terrible like that." Elizabeth smiled in amusement at the Colonel's antics, but she could not help but frown at the Colonel's next statement. "However, I believe that everyone would still love you after doing such a horrible thing. Therefore, I conclude that your cook forgives you."

It was just too similar to the words Mama always drilled in her head. _"Love?!"_ Lizzy could hear Mrs. Bennet's shrill voice echoing in her mind. _"How could I love you after doing such a horrible thing – killing my son! I would never forgive you!"_

The cousins noticed Miss Elizabeth's changed in expression and they wondered at which particular words in Richard's sentences caused it. Noticing her distress, Ashbourne spoke up. "Anne mentioned something about 'terrible drawings' earlier, Miss Elizabeth. Do not tell me that you still call your drawings 'terrible'? They are not."

To the cousins' relief, Miss Elizabeth responded well to Ashbourne's question. "Then, I shall not tell you, your Lordship."

"What's this," Richard started, feeling guilty for whatever he had said wrong earlier and wanting to lift up the mood by continuing the current topic of conversation. "You have shown my cousin your drawing yet you refuse to let Anne and I see it?! Why, Miss Elizabeth, I did not know that you play favourites."

"I do not play favourites, Colonel." Miss Elizabeth said solemnly. Then, her lips twitched upwards. "If I do, then the first one among the three of you to see my works would be Miss de Bourgh. Besides, Lord Ashbourne only got to see it because I met him first."

Richard tapped his chin, as if thinking seriously. "Very well, Miss Elizabeth, since I chose to court Anne instead of the Marquess here," he said pointing at Darcy, "I trust your judgement."

The two ladies laughed while Darcy frowned at Richard.

"And because you just implied that I am your favourite, Miss Elizabeth, would you now call me by my Christian name?"

Miss Elizabeth smiled. "Only, if you call by mine too. But if you prefer Lizzy, which is shorter, then you can use that instead."

"Of course, Lizzy." Anne smiled before batting her lashes at Miss Elizabeth. "Now, I believe it is time for you to show us your drawings and since you just said moments ago that I am your favourite among the three of us, surely you will not deny my request."

Shaking her head fondly, Miss Elizabeth sighed. "Nicely done, Anne."

As Elizabeth walked to the corner of the room to retrieve her latest drawings, Agnes placed the tea and biscuits on the table. Lizzy thanked the maid when she walked past her before returning to her previous seat. She handed Anne her sketches before pouring tea. Since Lord Ashbourne was the one sitting closest to her, she handed him the drink first.

She was pouring some for Anne and the Colonel when Lord Ashbourne turned to her with a tender expression on his face. His voice soft as he whispered, "You remembered."

"Lemon and two teaspoons of sugar are not hard to remember, my Lord." She replied, giving him a small smile before handing Anne and the Colonel their respective teas.

Lord Ashbourne opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted with the Colonel's comment. "I do not see anything bad about your drawings, Miss Elizabeth. Indeed, I am amazed at your ability to capture the likeness of objects. However, I do understand that artists are prone to criticising their works because they see little details that normal people do not."

Elizabeth nodded in agreement. "I am glad that you understand, Colonel. It is my primary reason why I did not show you my drawings. I would not want you and Anne to think that I am fishing for compliments because I describe my most recent works terrible."

"I only understand it because Ashbourne acts the same with his drawings."

Lizzy smiled, "Indeed, he does." Noting that neither Anne nor the Colonel was surprised when she mentioned that she met the Marquess first, Lizzy felt safe to elaborate her reply. "We had a drawing competition once before and if you were watching, you'd think that we were competing on who was the worse artist for we kept on criticising our own works and complimenting the other's."

"Compliment?!" The Colonel exclaimed, looking at Lord Ashbourne in exaggerated surprise. "I never knew that Ashbourne could do that."

"Oh, hush, Richard. You know very well that Ashbourne can give compliments. I believe his favourite to give was 'decent enough'."

Elizabeth and the Colonel laughed at Anne's words. Lord Ashbourne, on the other hand, remained expressionless. Though, the other three could see very well that the tips of his ears were red with embarrassment. Because of this, the Colonel took charge of the conversation and talked of stories about the Marquess, teasing Lord Ashbourne some more.

The snacks Cook have prepared for them were gone by the time they finished teasing the Marquess. After ringing for Agnes to pick up the tray, Elizabeth turned to Anne. "I believe it is now my turn to request something from you, Anne."

"It is only because you are my friend that I will allow you to have your revenge on me, Lizzy. What shall it be, then?"

"Will you play for us?" Elizabeth moved her eyes to the pianoforte in the corner. It was gift from her Grandma Claire.

Knowing that her cousin and Lizzy needed to talk privately, Anne agreed. "Very well but only if I can have someone turn the page for me. I am not as talented in music as you are, Lizzy, so be warned."

"I'll assist you with the pages." Anne smiled at Richard. They were of the same mind.

When the first notes from the pianoforte filled the room, Darcy immediately turned to Elizabeth. "Miss Elizabeth, I cannot express how happy I am, knowing that you do not avoid my presence anymore. I promise to make it up to you. I am truly sorry –"

"Speak no more, Lord Ashbourne." She said before he could speak any further. "I accept your apology and you need not make another."

Smiling, he took her gloved hand and pressed a light kiss on her knuckle. "I thank you."

Blushing at his actions, Elizabeth slowly moved her hand away from his and cleared her throat. "Now, I believe it is my turn to apologise, my Lord. I am sorry for running away from you and avoiding you these last few times we saw each other."

"You have nothing to apologise for, Miss Elizabeth." He was quick to reassure her. "I understand why you avoided me. However, may I be so bold to ask why you have run away from me when we went for a stroll near Longbourn?"

Elizabeth looked down and bit her lip as she fidgeted with her gloves. After taking a deep breath, she lifted her head, his blue eyes meeting her green ones. "I was afraid."

He furrowed his brows at her short answer. "Afraid?"

"Yes, you look positively angry at the time and I thought you were going to…" She trailed off, shifting her gaze from him.

"Going to what, Miss Elizabeth?" He asked softly, not wanting to frighten her.

"Hit me." She whispered so low that he thought was not going to hear her. Upon registering her words, however, he froze.

He would've remained frozen on his seat if he did not notice her paling countenance. Reaching out for her hand to calm her, he told her in a gentle voice that he would never do that. "I would not hit a woman, Miss Elizabeth, and I certainly would not dare raise a hand on you."

Squeezing his hand, Elizabeth replied. "I know that now, but your stance that day – your posture rigid, hands fisted on your sides and you were gritting your teeth… it was just so similar to –" she paused. "Forgive me, my Lord. I forget myself." She tried to smile at him but Darcy was not buying it. "What I'm trying to say is, you looked so angry that I lost my courage and ran away."

Darcy wanted so much to know what her actual words was going to be but he also understood that he had just gotten his second chance. She was not willing to open up to him, yet. He could understand that and so, he let it slide for now. "I was not angry at you, Miss Elizabeth. I was angry at myself at that time. When you looked up at me, moments after the first time I called your name, your reaction at my mistakes hit me hard. I realised then that I could not bear to see you look sad and I hated myself for it. Indeed, I wanted to kick myself in that moment."

This time, her smile was small but real. "That must be a real challenge to do – kicking one's self. However, I found it unreasonable. If you really wanted to kick yourself, my Lord, I believe the Colonel would be honoured to do the task."

He chuckled in response. "I know he would."

"You are lucky then, Lord Ashbourne, to have a cousin who is willing to do your task for you." He was glad to see her smile bigger, this time.

"While I consider myself lucky in having Richard as my cousin," Darcy said glancing in his cousin's direction, "I would not use the example you gave, Miss Elizabeth. What about you? Who would be honoured to do the task of kicking yourself when needed?" He was eager to find out her answer. It could confirm his suspicions if she was estranged from her family or not.

Darcy watched as Elizabeth pursed her mouth in deep thought. "I think it would be Charlotte – Miss Lucas, I mean. She is Sir William Lucas's eldest daughter and my dearest friend. If not her, it would be Alexa, my Abigail. You see, we have known each other at such a young age so we are very close and I know that she would not hesitate to put some sense into me if needed. I believe John Lucas would not hesitate to do it either. After all, he has yet to get his revenge of me after I bested him in climbing a tree when I was eight."

Darcy let out a small smile at her answer when all he wanted to do was frown. Not only because it bothered him that she seemed close to another man since she was a child but also by the fact that she did not she mention family members. To get his answer, he asked, "Wouldn't your sisters do it?"

"Mary and Kitty would, I am sure, but not without asking my permission _twice_. They tend to look up to me because I am older."

Before he could give his reply, a woman which appeared to be in her late forties entered the room. She has light brown hair that was styled in a bun and a kind face with dark brown eyes.

To his and his cousins' (he noticed because the music stopped) surprise, Elizabeth immediately stood up and greeted the newcomer. "Mrs. Winters!"

* * *

**This was, so far, the longest chapter I have ever written for this book and phew! Anyways, what do you guys think? Too sweet? Too much drama? Too fast? What about Darcy's parents? Hmmm…**

**Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites – they never fail to make my day :)**

**Stay safe guys and take care of yourselves. Hopefully, a cure can be found to end the virus soon.**


	8. Chapter 8

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 7 – Lizzy read Darcy's letter and decided to forgive him, Anne and Richard visited Lizzy in the Dower House and found out about Mr. Price, they then informed Darcy of everything they found out and the Netherfield Party was invited for tea by Lizzy. Luckily for Darcy, Anne made excuses for everyone so only the three of them would be attending. Lizzy and Darcy made amends; Anne and Lizzy are on first name basis, and Mrs. Winters arrived.**

* * *

With a bright smile on her face, Elizabeth turned to them one by one. "Lord Ashbourne, Anne, Colonel Fitzwilliam, this is Mrs. Sarah Winters, my governess and companion. She has known me since I was a little girl. And just like Cook, by the countless of times I tried to sneak out from her, Mrs. Winters also doubts – from time to time – if her affection for me was wise or not."

The cousins expressed their pleasure at meeting Mrs. Winters. The three of them agreed that aside from wanting to establish a good relationship with Elizabeth during this visit, they will also take note of every little detail that could help them figure out what was going on with the Bennet family. Perhaps, Mrs. Winters could help the cousins find the answers to their questions.

"Mrs. Winters, these are my friends; Lord Ashbourne, Miss de Bourgh and Colonel Fitzwilliam."

"I am delighted to meet you all." Mrs. Winters replied. "If you do not mind, I would go and refresh myself in my room."

As soon as Mrs. Winters curtsied and left the room, Anne began playing once again and Darcy was amused to see Elizabeth crane her neck from side to side before looking seriously back at him and speaking in a low voice. "You promised to make it up to me, earlier, correct?" When he nodded, Elizabeth continued. "Well, here is what you can do, Lord Ashbourne. Please do not mention of our acquaintance in London with anyone else – especially Mrs. Winters."

Before he could reply, she spoke again, fear and panic lacing her tone. "I am not asking you to lie, your Lordship, just to prolong the revelation of the truth."

"May I ask why, Miss Elizabeth?"

Looking up at him with guilt, she replied. "Other than Alexa, no one else knew that I was meeting you in my Uncle's Warehouse."

Not satisfied with her answer, he asked her to elaborate further. She looked at him pleadingly, "Next time we meet, I will explain. But please do not ask me about it now." Then, she turned away from him again and craned her neck to the direction where Mrs. Winters exited earlier.

Darcy couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh at her antics. Upon doing this, she faced him once again. This time, with eyes narrowed and arms crossed against her chest. The only thing revealing her real feelings was the slight twitch of her lips. "Are you laughing at me, my Lord?"

"If I remember correctly, you were the one who thought me to amuse myself at other people's antics back in London when we first met." He made sure on emphasising the last six words which earned him a glare from the delightful lady before him to which he smiled at. He missed this, their teasing and banters. It was like nothing bad happened between the two of them and they were back to the way they were before.

On second thought, perhaps he had gone too far. She was actually glaring at him this time. "Miss Elizabeth –"

"Lord Ashbourne, I am proud of you because I can see that have improved your skills on how to tease, I really am." She softened her look. "But my request to you is no teasing matter. Well, as of now, it is not. Perhaps, in the future it will not be the same. For the meantime, please, do take my request seriously. If my Aunt and Uncle found out, my freedom will be even more limited and they might even separate Alexa from me. I don't want to lose a friend nor do I want to lose my Aunt's trust in me. London is my only escape from Longbourn. If I lose my freedom there, then my visits there would make little difference."

"Escape from Longbourn? Of what are you talking about, Miss Elizabeth?"

"As much as I love the country, I also like to venture in Town Mr. Darcy. That is all I meant." The evenness in her tone would have him believe her, if she had not looked away from him so quickly. '_Why are you lying, Elizabeth?'_ He wanted to ask. But knowing that she needed more time to open up to him, he let the lie slide.

"Of course." He did not miss the way she released a small sigh of relief at his response.

**-p&p-**

Sarah Winters hurried towards her room and changed her clothes as quickly as she could. She did not know that Lizzy would have guests today. She knew it was a bad idea to leave for London yesterday morning, but what could she do? Madeline Gardiner had summoned her. There were things they needed to talk about everyone's safety which could not be achieved by just a simple correspondence.

She should have left immediately after breakfast earlier. But then again, the Gardiners had an emergency in the Warehouse and the nanny for the children was unwell. She needed to stay there.

But how could she not know about Lizzy's new friends? Judging on the way her charge had smiled at the visitors, she seemed very fond of them. That wouldn't just happen in a span of short meetings. No, it wouldn't. Sarah tried to think of the gatherings that she had allowed Lizzy to attend: the Meryton Assembly, the gathering at the Lucases – two. If she added the time Lizzy was asked to go to Longbourn and the one time Lizzy sneaked out, there would be a total of four meetings.

Was that enough to make Lizzy so attached? Sarah did not think so but it was also not impossible. But one of them was a Lord! What would she do? What if those newcomers would bring danger towards them?

Pulling herself together, Mrs. Winters decided that she would write a letter to Madeline Gardiner later. For now, she would go downstairs and observe Lizzy's visitors. If she found them alright, then she would let them visit Lizzy. But, if in any way, they would bring any danger to her charge, then she would do everything in her power to stop their acquaintance.

With this in mind, Mrs. Winters made her way to the drawing room.

**-p&p-**

When the carriage her friends boarded became too far for her to see, Elizabeth went back to the house. To her surprise, Mrs. Winters seemed to be waiting for her there. Her companion was sitting on the settee, a serious look on her face.

"I thought you would have retired by now, Mrs. Winters." Lizzy said, sitting beside the older woman. "I know that travelling from London to Longbourn could be quite tiring. Shall I send for some tea in your room?"

Instead of answering, Mrs. Winters looked at her sternly. "What were you thinking, Lizzy, befriending a Lord of all people?"

Elizabeth frowned and looked at her companion with glassy eyes, her voice quivering as she asked, "Am I not qualified enough to be their friend, Mrs. Winters? Am I really that lacking?" Lizzy was not particularly fond of manipulating the people around her but it was also her only way of getting a bit more freedom. Her question, though, was half-true. The way Mama and Papa treated her made her feel unworthy and lacking at times so she often wondered if that was the reason why her Gardiner relations and Mrs. Winters kept her from befriending those with titles.

"Of course you are enough, my dear." Mrs. Winters took hold of her hands. "More than enough, Lizzy, and they were lucky to have you as a friend." Lizzy's frowned only deepened at her companion's words. It was just like as she feared; what happened to Lady Amelia was happening once again. Only this time, she knew how to use her emotion against the Gardiners and Mrs. Winters' overprotectiveness. She hoped to meet Lady Amelia again, someday, to thank her for teaching Lizzy this particular trick.

"If that is the case then I do not see any reason why I couldn't be friends with them, Mrs. Winters."

"But you cannot stop me from worrying, Lizzy." As if to put emphasis on her words, Mrs. Winters' grip on her hands tightened. "You know that all these started because of a Lord as well. I just want you to be wary."

Lizzy huffed. "But my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner are friends with the earl who indirectly was the root of these 'dangers', are they not?" She wanted to hide her annoyance and be polite but why was she always deprived of having friends? They had already taken Lady Amelia from her; she's not going to let them do the same with Lord Ashbourne, Anne, and Colonel Fitzwilliam.

"Yes, your Aunt and Uncle remained partners with him in terms of business but they never let him to truly become their friend." Mrs. Winters spoke each word slowly, as if willing her to understand the situation. "You know how much your Aunt Gardiner worry so easily."

Lizzy could not help but soften her features at her companion's last statement. "I understand, Mrs. Winters." She said gently, looking into the older woman's eyes. "But please do not stop me from befriending Anne, the Colonel and Lord Ashbourne." Releasing her hands from Mrs. Winters' hold, Lizzy stood up and walked near the fireplace. She turned her back on Mrs. Winters to hide the tears threatening to escape her eyes. "They are my friends and I am very fond of them." Looking at the glowing embers, Lizzy hugged herself. "And I'd like to think that they were very fond of me too."

Before Mrs. Winters could reply, Lizzy turned to face her again. "They won't be staying permanently in Hertfordshire and I just want to spend time with them while they are still here. I know my Aunt and Uncle would never let me accept an invitation to visit them in their houses, so please, Mrs. Winters…"

When the older woman sighed, Lizzy knew that she got her wish. However, knowing her companion, there would be a new set of rules regarding her new friends. She was proven right when Mrs. Winters held a finger up and said, "But first, since the threat of Mr. Price was still out there, you have to inform me of every visits and gatherings you will spend with these new friends of yours."

Lizzy nodded seriously, not wanting to give Mrs. Winters any idea that she had already found a loophole in the first condition. This meant that she would not have to tell Mrs. Winters any meetings if she ever encountered her new friends on the pathways or perhaps in Meryton if she was allowed to go out beyond Longbourn.

"Also, Alexa will be with you at the times that I will not be able to accompany you."

Lizzy had no problem with the second condition. After all, she knew that Alexa was more loyal to her than to anyone else. Nonetheless, Lizzy was careful to maintain her gloomy demeanor as she answered, "Yes, Mrs. Winters."

"Lastly, only two visits per week are allowed."

"Could it be three?" She asked hopefully. It was not in her nature to be confined in the house. The least that could cheer her up was looking forward to her friends' visit. Usually, Charlotte would visit Lizzy every other day, but ever since Colonel Forster began courting her, her visits were not as frequent as they used to. Lizzy could not blame Charlotte, though. Her friend had long waited for a match and now that she had, Lizzy was happy for her.

"Two visits only and that's final." Mrs. Winters' reply brought Lizzy out of her thoughts. As response to her companion, Lizzy sighed and nodded her head. Inside, however, she was already making plans on seeing her friends four times a week. They may only be allowed to visit twice a week but that does not mean that those were the only times they could see each other. She was just going to have to go to Longbourn whenever her friends visit. She could also sneak out with Alexa's help and journey to Oakham Mount whenever there was opportunity. And since the first condition only required her to inform Mrs. Winters of only the gatherings and visits she would spend with her friends, she's not really going to disobey any rules.

"Will that be all, Mrs. Winters?"

"Yes," her companion answered. "I will go rest in my room now but I shall come down for dinner later."

Lizzy waited a couple of minutes before going to her own chambers. She had a letter to write.

**-p&p-**

The Fitzwilliam cousins did not get to talk much after visiting Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Inside the carriage, all Anne and Richard got from Darcy was that Miss Elizabeth had forgiven him and was willing to resume their friendship. Anne and Richard then asked about Darcy and Miss Elizabeth's meetings in London to which Darcy happily answered and told them a few of his encounters with Miss Elizabeth.

By the time they reached Netherfield, Bingley needed to talk to Darcy about estate matters and Anne was dragged away by Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst. Richard, having nothing to do, joined Mr. Hurst in drinking brandy.

Whilst in his cups, Richard began contemplating everything he saw during their visit at Longbourn Dower House and of what he heard from Darcy during their ride in the carriage.

Richard always knew that Darcy was interested in the mysterious lady he had met in London, but after watching him interact with Miss Elizabeth this afternoon, it seemed that 'interest' was no longer the right word. By the way Darcy looked and talked with Miss Elizabeth, it was apparent to Richard that Darcy felt deeply for the lady.

And if Richard was going to add to the list of Darcy's protectiveness and mood swings, then Richard was absolutely positive that Darcy was in love with Miss Elizabeth. _In love!_ Richard used his cup to hid the smile that graced his lips at the thought. He'd never imagined that he'd see the day Fitzwilliam Darcy – Lord Ashbourne – fell in love, but he _was_ and Richard was happy for him. His cousin's 'mask' seemed to disappear when Miss Elizabeth Bennet was around. If Richard was to guess, the two would probably be courting in less than two weeks.

Perhaps he should write to his siblings and bet with them… Knowing his older brother, Henry would be willing to wager with him and would probably ask their mother about the social gatherings Darcy had attended. Henry was busy with his responsibilities as the Viscount and Richard knew Darcy better so he'd win against him. Matilda, his younger sister, on the other hand would probably write a letter to Darcy personally, inquiring everything she could possibly know regarding the bet. Richard had also no doubt that his younger sister would not hesitate to write to Darcy's parents and sister as well as to Anne and Aunt Catherine. Despite being a girl and younger, Matilda had won half of the things the Fitzwilliam siblings had previously wagered about. Nonetheless, Richard thought it would be fun. It was the way he and his siblings bonded after all.

Heading to his room after finishing the contents of his cup, Richard was ready to write to his siblings. However, just as he was about to sit himself in front of the writing desk in his chamber, he thought of his Uncle Derbyshire. If he wrote about this new bet to his siblings, specifically his younger sister, there's a huge possibility that Darcy's father would find out. If there was one word to describe his Uncle, it would be the word 'strict.'

Would the Duke of Derbyshire allow his son to marry an unknown country miss with few connections (for Mr. Gardiner was a well-known businessman) and (probably) little dowry? Richard knew that his Uncle loved his son, even if he had a strange way of showing it. Why else would his Uncle always ask Richard to take care of his Marquess cousin?

Granted, his Uncle would not ask about his cousin directly but being a military man, Richard could easily tell if someone was prying answers out of him. Even if his Uncle's way of checking on his son was harsh, using statements like: 'Nephew, what has Fitzwilliam been up to lately? It better not be something that could disgrace our family name.' or 'Keep an eye on your cousin and stop him from making possible mistakes, Richard.'

His Uncle's words were hurtful to Darcy, Richard knew. However, no matter how much Richard tried to assure his cousin that his father loved him, Darcy would not listen. The greater part of Richard understood how Darcy was feeling and why he doubted his father's love for him. After all, Richard saw how much Darcy would put his effort into every single thing his father wanted – in his studies, in horse-riding, fencing, shooting, managing the estate, doing his responsibilities as a Marquess, and many more – but the end was always the same. Uncle Derbyshire would tell Darcy how 'It was not enough' or 'It still needed improvement' or 'You can do better than this.'

For years Richard saw the same cycle and he always wished for Darcy to do something for himself and not for his father – or family honour or whatever it was that Uncle Derbyshire had been telling him to. Now, Richard's wish had been granted. His cousin had met someone whom he didn't have to wear his mask with. All that's left for Richard to do was help his cousin maintain that someone in his life.

So, instead of writing to his siblings, Richard went back to the drawing room and waited for dinner.

The next morning, the three cousins agreed to go for a ride. The others, except for Bingley who declined their offer to join them, were still asleep. The cousins had never been more thankful that they were used to waking by country hours.

Anne was counting her blessings and was thankful for escaping Netherfield at such an early morning. She feared that Miss Bingley might purposely get up early just to talk to her about the ball they were planning to host. Apparently, the youngest Bennet sister had requested for a ball when they had visited and Mr. Bingley acquiesced.

"I've been thinking last night, cousin," Richard started once Darcy finished explaining the problem that Bingley was having with the drainage system. "I figured that you have deep feelings for Miss Elizabeth. How far are you willing to pursue her?" When Darcy did not answer, Richard continued. "Are you planning to marry her?"

Seeing Richard's serious expression, Darcy let out a small sigh before looking his cousin in the eye. "Yes, Richard, I wish to make her my partner in life. However, those thoughts are the furthest thing in mind right now."

"Why?" Richard asked in a hardened tone. "Are your affections for her inconstant?" Richard knew that his accusations would offend Darcy but he did not stop. This was his way of knowing how strong Darcy's feelings were. Besides, if his cousin could not face him, then how would Darcy be able to face his father? "Are you only playing with her feelings?"

Running a hand through his hair in frustration, Darcy glared at the Colonel. "No! Why would you even think that, Richard?" Calmly, he said, "I want her someday to become my wife because I love her. Do not insult me by questioning my feelings or my character."

"Then why is marriage the 'furthest' thing in your mind?"

"Oh, do not be a hypocrite, Richard." Anne said pointedly. "Marriage was also the furthest thing in your mind until we had a thorough discussion of everything and I'm sure Ashbourne has his reasons, which he would now tell us."

Darcy then took this as an opportunity to relay everything he had remembered from his conversation with Elizabeth yesterday. From her being afraid because she thought that he would physically hurt her to the supposedly limited freedom she had and London being apparently her 'escape' from Longbourn.

"Someone must have physically hurt her before." Even though he had thought of the same thing, Darcy couldn't help but flinch at Anne's guess. "I remember Mrs. Jenkinson being frightened of Mama once. You see, about ten years ago, Mrs. Jenkinson was supposed to ask permission if I could go outside but Mama had a visitor who claimed to be my father's mistress and mother of his child." Anne's voice slightly faltered at the last words and Richard was quick to place one of his hands on top of hers. "You can only imagine Mama's anger."

Darcy looked wide-eyed at his cousin. Not knowing how to respond he guided Boreas to go to Anne's other side and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I do not remember Uncle Lewis but I was told he was a kind man."

Anne smiled sadly. "I was sickly and almost died at three. When I recovered, my father left for a business trip outside England."

With furrowed brows, Darcy asked, "I thought you have never met your father. Was he not dead before you were born?"

"Yes, that was what I thought too. But the next evening after the gathering at Lucas Lodge, I went into Mama's assigned chamber at Netherfield. I was confused at her behaviour – why had she not accompanied us at the Assembly? Why did she leave me with the two of you? – You both know how Mama is, she never let me out of her sight… and while I am glad for the freedom I am experiencing these past weeks, it so unlike her. So I thought, I'd sneak in her room and find out what's going on."

Richard squeezed her hand in support and Anne gave him a small smile before continuing. "On our second night at Netherfield, I went to check in Mama and I saw her pushed something under her bed – so that was where I searched first. It seemed that Mama never changed her hiding place for I found a box under her bed. Unfortunately, it was locked."

"So she asked me to help her unlock it." Richard continued Anne's story. "After several minutes of trial, we succeeded in opening it. Inside we found letters…"

Anne spoke again before Richard could say more. "In those letters I found out that my father left three weeks after my fourth birthday, after my recovery. He went on a business trip outside England and he and Mama exchanged letters. The ship he was on encountered a terrible storm. Many people died but my father managed to survive and he ended up on some nearby island with no money or belongings. That was why he couldn't get back. It took months but he found a way to earn money and he continued his journey on his business. They lost communication when I was six and my father died before I could turn eight."

When he heard her voice cracked, Richard took over the storytelling. "Everything was in the box, including the letter informing Aunt Catherine of Uncle Lewis' death. I believe the reason why Anne forgot her earliest memories was an aftermath of frequent fevers. I also think that my father knew the whole story for he refused to bring up Uncle Lewis in front of Aunt Catherine and he was always vague whenever he told Anne about him."

"So Uncle Lewis really had a mistress?" Darcy asked.

"I do not know." Anne answered, shaking her head. "According to Mrs. Jenkinson, the woman who visited Mama could not present a child. Her reason for this was that she already gave her daughter to a distant relative. I was told that my supposed sister was about seven years younger than me."

Darcy could not understand the motive of the woman. "If that was the case, why would she introduce herself to Aunt Catherine as Uncle Lewis' mistress?"

"She wanted money so she could have her daughter back. At least, that was what Mrs. Jenkinson told me. Of course, Mama gave her nothing and ordered a footman to assist her outside."

Knowing that Anne was upset at their current subject, Richard directed his question to another topic. "Mrs. Jenkinson tells you a lot of things. Is she more loyal to you than to Aunt Catherine?"

"She is not. I followed her to Mama's office that time. When I heard some shouting, I eavesdropped. At the end of the day, Mrs. Jenkinson found out that I listened to the conversation Mama had with that woman so she explained everything to me. I think her goal was to assure me that my father could never betray my mother. However, after discovering Mama's hidden box, I do not know what to believe."

"Perhaps you should ask Aunt Catherine when she gets back." Darcy suggested.

"Perhaps," Anne echoed. "Now, enough about me and let us get back on talking about how to help Ashbourne's future bride."

"You really should not refer to Miss Elizabeth as that." Darcy protested.

"Yet," Richard teased with a smirk.

"What is wrong about it cousin? You did tell us that you had intentions of making her your wife." Anne said. "Besides, Richard and I are getting married sometime around next year as well. Isn't there a saying that a wedding begets another wedding?"

Darcy pulled Boreas so he could get a few yards away from his cousins. "Anne, you and Richard both knew each other for years. Miss Elizabeth and I had only known each other for two months. Even if I wanted to marry her soon, she is only eighteen and since she spoke of freedom I think that she wanted to experience the world first, before committing herself to someone."

"While that may be right, Lizzy is only about seven years younger than I – which means that her opinion of marriage and mine may be more similar than you think." Darcy was about to contradict her again but Anne continued on speaking. "However, I see your point. Before you sweep her off her feet, we need to clear the obstacles on your way to a happy ending. Starting with her family…"

Richard, having thought about ways to gain more information about Miss Elizabeth last night, was the first to tell his idea. "Her companion might be a reliable source of information. Miss Elizabeth did say that Mrs. Winters have known her since she was little."

Before Anne or Darcy could comment on Richard's suggestion, another voice joined them. "Mrs. Winters would not help you, but I will." The cousins immediately turned their head to the newcomer. It was a young woman – a servant, judging by her clothing – with black hair, olive skin, and brown eyes.

"Who are you?" Anne asked, eyeing the stranger suspiciously, though Anne knew that she had seen the girl somewhere before.

"Forgive me for interrupting and listening to your conversation Madam, Sirs." The young woman then curtsied politely. "I am Alexa Digby, Miss Lizzy's abigail. I was on my way to Netherfield to give Miss de Bourgh a letter from Miss Lizzy when I overheard you talking about her. If you're going to help her, then I am going to help you do it."

"Yes, I remember you now." Darcy said. "You were the one who was always with her in the Gardiner Warehouse. Miss Elizabeth told me you are very close."

The Abigail nodded.

"What makes you say that Mrs. Winters will not help us?"

"Because, Colonel, while Mrs. Winters cares for Miss Lizzy as her own child but she is still more loyal to the Gardiners."

"The Gardiners?" The cousins asked in unison.

"Yes, Miss Lizzy's Aunt and Uncle. The Gardiners love Lizzy as if she was their daughter, but they were very overprotective of her that it limits Miss Lizzy's freedom." Not wanting the Gardiners to be seen in a bad light, Alexa continued. "Miss Lizzy told me that you already knew the details regarding Mr. Price." When the three nodded, Alexa spoke again. "You see, the Gardiners had once been attacked by highwaymen causing Mrs. Gardiner to lose her unborn child."

Anne gasped but recovered enough to say, "I can understand their overprotectiveness."

That was a start but Darcy still had many questions. Luckily for him, Richard was not afraid to voice them out loud. "But what is going on at Longbourn? Why is Miss Elizabeth staying at the Dower House?"

"All I can say is that Miss Lizzy was mistreated by her Bennet family, all except for Miss Kitty and Miss Mary. I am sorry if I cannot provide you more specific information but they have to come from Miss Lizzy herself. I wanted to help you but I would not betray her trust. However, I could help you three in seeing her more often."

* * *

**So... what do you guys think? We'll get to see more characters soon.**

**Stay safe at home and take care! **


	9. Chapter 9

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 8 – Mrs. Winters allowed Lizzy to continue her acquaintance with Anne, Richard and Darcy but with three conditions; Anne revealed that she apparently has a missing half-sister; Alexa delivered Lizzy's letter to Anne and offered to help the cousins in meeting Lizzy more.**

* * *

True to her promise, Digby, Elizabeth's Abigail, had indeed managed for the three cousins to meet Elizabeth one more time before the week ended. However, despite Elizabeth's detailed plan on how she could meet them – which was explained on her letter to Anne – Darcy came up with another idea on how they could meet Elizabeth without hiding their meetings from Mrs. Winters.

"These are my good men, Carson and Jacobs." Darcy gestured to the two buff footmen on either side of him. It was the next morning after the cousins had encountered Digby and the former wasted no time in trying to convince to Mrs. Winters to agree to Darcy's proposition. After Darcy had explained to his two men why he would be introducing them to a woman named Mrs. Winters, the three of them along with Anne and Richard headed straight to the Longbourn Dower House.

Carson and Jacobs were both years older than Darcy and had been guarding him since he turned eight and ten so Darcy had full trust in them. Of course, the two footmen were already familiar with Miss Elizabeth Bennet. They had been with Lord Ashbourne every time the Marquess went out of whichever residence he chose to reside in. Carson had been a frequent customer of the Gardiners when the Marquess had been visiting the warehouse multiple times a week and he had watched the Marquess talk with said lady from afar. Jacobs, on the other hand was the one near enough to witness his master's first encounter with Miss Elizabeth Bennet in the rain.

They had also accompanied the Marquess whenever he went on morning rides since they got to Hertfordshire – and any other rides for that matter. Carson would always head out first before the Marquess and Jacobs would trail on Lord Ashbourne's tracks. Years of doing their job had made them skilled at hiding and disguising themselves while still keeping an eye on the Marquess. Goodness only knew that many things could go wrong if they failed; while the Duke of Derbyshire was a fair master, he did not tolerate people who did not do their duties well, especially when it came to protecting his wife and children.

During their first year as the Marquess' personal guards, Carson and Jacobs were always at Lord Ashbourne's side, mainly because they did not want to fail their duty assigned by the Marquess' father. However, the Marquess was not comfortable with that arrangement so he had made a proposition with them – Carson and Jacobs could still follow everywhere he went (it was their job after all) but only at a certain distance where the two will remain unseen, to the point that the Marquess could pretend that there were no guards shadowing him, and they would only appear at the Marquess' side if absolutely needed otherwise known as the phrase 'when a dangerous situation arises'. In turn, the Marquess would not try to escape them anymore, like he had done a few times in the past.

They were hesitant to comply with the Marquess' request at first but being hidden and not staying at the Marquess' side had been proven useful, for many times now. Most of these times composed of the Marquess being cornered by matchmaking mamas or other people of the Ton. He would only signal one of his guards to come to his rescue and then either Carson or Jacobs would do something like approach him telling him there was an urgent business he needed to attend to.

However, as much as it was amusing to see the disappointed or angered faces of some members of the Ton whenever they managed to take the Marquess away from their clutches, it was nothing compared to the time when the Marquess confronted George Wickham. The latter was enraged that the Marquess had collected evidences of his wrongdoings that he had hurt the Marquess physically. Wickham only managed a single punch before Carson and Jacobs emerged from their hiding spots and held him back – of course only after they each landed a punch and kick on Wickham to avenge their Marquess.

It was not like the Marquess did not know how to defend himself, quite the opposite in fact. Jacobs and Carson knew that their young Master only refrained from hurting Wickham because he respected the Duke's fondness of the Pemberly steward's son. It was also the reason why Wickham did not get any permanent damage from Carson and Jacobs.

To their surprised at the time, the Duke was satisfied with Wickham's injuries. However, he was displeased to learn that the Marquess went home with bruised lips. Needless to say, the Duke had berated the two of them for not doing a better job at protecting his only son. In the process of explaining why they had been late to shield the Marquess from Wickham, the Duke learned of the guards' agreement with his son. Seeing the benefits of being hidden, the Duke let them continue to do his son's idea.

Never had the Marquess revealed them as his guards, to people outside his family, until now.

"They are my guards for about eight years now and they are very loyal. I can assure you that they will also protect Miss Elizabeth Bennet from any harm. My cousins and I would also accompany Miss Elizabeth whenever we could."

Anne quickly seconded Darcy's words before the older woman could reply. "Yes, Mrs. Winters. Lizzy is already a dear friend of mine and I know that she dislikes being kept indoors."

Mrs. Winters was about to open her mouth to reply when another voice intruded the conversation. "Beggin' your pardon Ma'am but if you want Ma'am, I be joining Lord Ashbourne's footmen in protecting the Miss. She were cryin' in the stables yesterday wanting to ride her horse Ma'am."

The older woman answered with a defeated sigh. "Very well, Archie, you may join Lord Ashbourne's footmen." She then turned to the cousins, "I accept your offer, my Lord. But one event that would cause my charge harm and Lizzy will stay in the Dower House until her Gardiner relations deems it safe."

"Of course, Madam."

Five minutes after Darcy's agreement with Mrs. Winters, Elizabeth was dressed in her dark blue riding habit and was smiling widely at Darcy, Anne and Richard as she led them to the stables.

Once they reached their destination, Elizabeth suddenly grinned at an unsuspecting Anne and pulled her into a hug. "Oh, thank you, thank you! I do not know how you did it but you managed to convince Mrs. Winters let me roam freely again."

Anne let out a light laugh as she pulled away from Elizabeth. "It was all Ashbourne's doing, Lizzy. Richard and I just supported his actions but I am glad that you are happy." At Anne's revelation, Elizabeth turned to face him with a beam on her face.

Darcy could do naught but stand still and watch her, mesmerised. How he loved seeing her so carefree and so joyful! And to think that he brought that smile on her face…

"Miss Elizabeth, do you not think that the Marquess should receive your thanks?" Richard's words seemed innocent enough until he winked at Darcy and said, "And what better way than to personally tour the Marquess around the county?"

Elizabeth, who did not see Richard's scheme at matchmaking, innocently agreed. "Of course, Colonel, but I would like all of you to meet my horse first."

As soon as Elizabeth performed the introductions, Richard placed a hand on Darcy's shoulder. "Apollo, huh? My ol' chap here also likes naming animals from mythical beings."

"Oh, yes," Elizabeth smiled. "I remember him telling me about his Boreas." Here, she walked towards his horse and patted his dark mane. Darcy looked on fondly as his horse nuzzled his head into Elizabeth's hand. "Named after the Greek God of the North Wind and Winter. I am curious, my Lord. Why did you choose that as his name? There are other gods who are more well-known than him."

"My favourite among all my family estates is Pemberly, which is located in Derbyshire. It is my home county and is located in the north where winters are colder."

"So to honour Pemberly is why you named him Boreas."

Darcy nodded. "I think it is only fitting because Boreas could still ride very well despite the snow and he was never bothered by the cold easily, Miss Elizabeth."

After Anne and Richard introduced their horses, Autumn and Lettice, to Elizabeth they made their way to Oakham Mount, the three footmen riding behind them. Throughout their journey, Anne and Richard told them the stories behind the names of their horses.

Anne's story was simple enough. Her first journey outside of Rosings when she was seven was during autumn season so the name signifies her freedom. Richard's tale on the other hand, was more complicated than that.

And while Darcy had heard of Richard's story for more times he could count with his fingers, he enjoyed seeing the various expressions that played on Elizabeth's face; Her frown which eventually turned into a smile (when Richard told them that his old horse had died and his older brother gifted him a new one), the light in her eyes (when Richard revealed that he had asked his sister to name his new horse) her furrowed eyebrows (when Richard explained that his brother was courting a lady at that time which Richard and the rest of the family were not really fond of so he was surprised when his sister named the horse Lettice, the same name of the lady his brother was courting) her light laugh (when Richard shared the reason why his sister chose the name for the horse).

Apparently, when Richard and his sister Matilda met with their eldest sibling that same day the horse was named, they immediately introduced him to the horse, with Richard's sister explaining that she named the horse thus to make her eldest brother see that the horse had better manners than its namesake. That caused an argument between the siblings but in the end the younger Fitzwilliam siblings won and had proven their judgement right.

"I ought not to laugh, Colonel, but your sister's way of stating her opinion is very creative."

"'Tis no problem, Miss Elizabeth, I daresay that Lady Lettice deserved what my sister did. I am not one to gossip but what she planned to do to my brother was just despicable." Richard said, shaking his head in disgust and some lingering anger.

Darcy directed his horse to move alongside Richard. This way he could offer his cousin some comfort. He, himself, was horrified with the fate his oldest cousin almost had to suffer. Lady Lettice was apparently with child during the time Henry, Richard's brother, was courting her. It turned out that the father has left Lady Lettice and was only using Henry to hide her shame. Fortunately, it had been prevented.

When they neared the top a few minutes later, Richard had regained back his humour. Elizabeth acted as their leader and tied her horse to one of the close trees before walking on foot. Darcy and the others could only smile at her enthusiasm before following her lead.

It was indeed a wonderful view – they could see Netherfield Park and the greenery below was abundant. Though, to Darcy, it was still nothing compared to Derbyshire. On second thought, at seeing Elizabeth bask under the sun with a content smile on her face and a bounce on her every step, perhaps Hertfordshire could compare to his home county after all.

Elizabeth decided to show them her favourite tree first, located on the topmost part of Oakham Mount. Following Richard's words earlier, she escorted him as they toured the place. As she spoke animatedly by his side, Darcy could barely feel the presence of his cousins and the footmen trailing behind them.

He could, however, see the image of a little Miss Elizabeth Bennet climbing the tall Oak with her grandmother. As Elizabeth continued to describe it, the more vivid Darcy could see a younger Elizabeth sitting on one of the tree's strong branches with her grandmother as the two of them sing, talk or eat berries. He could also picture her Grandmother reading to a younger Elizabeth with the latter's head resting on the former's lap.

"She was so strong, my Grandma Claire. She was always up to the challenge of running after me or climbing trees with me or even riding horses." If it were not for the sudden sad tone on Elizabeth's voice, Darcy would still continue imagining her childhood. "It was why we were all surprised when she got ill and never recovered."

"I am sorry to hear that, Lizzy." Anne said walking to Elizabeth's other side. "You two seemed very close. You do not have to talk about it if it pains you."

Darcy saw Elizabeth squeezed Anne's hand. Then, with a smile, she shook her head. "I admit that it makes me sad that she left me so soon but I do like speaking about her. In fact, I believe you will all grew tired of me because I have much to tell."

"Nonsense, Miss Bennet," Richard dismissed with a wave of his hand. "It delights us to hear your tales."

Elizabeth smiled, "And I am delighted to share it with you all."

**-p&p-**

While Ashbourne continued to listen to Lizzy keenly and Richard played matchmaker, Anne de Bourgh focused on investigating Lizzy's life.

She, along with Richard and Ashbourne, had visited the Lucases yesterday afternoon hoping for some answers. But while Miss Charlotte Lucas and her siblings, Mr. John Lucas and Miss Maria Lucas, had provided them with some insight on the Longbourn Household, their parents appeared wary and cautious.

Lizzy's elder sister did not escape Anne's inspection. Miss Jane Bennet had been able to dine with them last night so Anne took the opportunity to about the other Misses Bennet – that is, whenever Anne could interrupt Miss Bennet and Mr. Bingley from staring at one another. Anne had succeeded three times but Miss Bennet would always give a general response before talking again to Mr. Bingley.

Anne decided thereafter that her best source was Lizzy herself. After all, if Lizzy was going to be her future cousin, then Anne must help her in any way she could. But if Anne was being truly honest, Ashbourne's feelings for Lizzy were not her only reason for doing this.

In Lizzy, Anne found not just a good friend but also a person who understood the need for freedom. Both of them grew up with overprotective people limiting their experience with the world – and even though Lizzy had an adventurous childhood with her grandmother unlike Anne – their situations when they were of the same age gave them a way to form a bond almost instantly.

"You are your grandmother's favourite, then?" Richard's question brought Anne out of her wool-gathering.

"Yes," answered Lizzy, smiling wistfully. "Although I still do not know why she favoured me over my sisters – me," she pointed at herself, "the mischievous little girl!"

"Perhaps it was for _that _reason why she did, Miss Elizabeth." Ashbourne said.

"Perhaps," Lizzy nodded. "But I suppose it was because Mama and Papa kept my sisters to themselves that Grandma Claire and I found each other."

The rest of the afternoon was spent with more stories and more exploring. After Oakham Mount and some of Lizzy's favourite pathways, Lizzy led them to some of Longbourn's tenants where Anne and Richard spent their time discreetly teasing Ashbourne as said Marquess continued to watch Lizzy interact with her family's tenants with a besotted look on his face. All in all, Anne had a wonderful time.

Unfortunately, the same could not be said for that evening. Even though Miss Jane Bennet was supposed to leave Netherfield Park on the morrow, Miss Bingley still could not stop insulting her and her family. Anne, who had the same experience for the previous nights, braced herself for Miss Bingley's words the moment they stepped out of Miss Bennet's room. Really, Anne was amazed at Miss Bingley's skills to appear so nice to Miss Bennet and insult her in the next second.

"I do not know what my brother sees in her. Surely he must know that Miss Bennet getting sick here was by design."

Beside Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst expressed her agreement.

Though Anne also suspected the same scheme, she did not agree or disagree to Miss Bingley's statement. "By design or not, it is a duty of a good hostess to see to her guests. You did well in making Miss Bennet comfortable in her stay here, Miss Bingley."

Miss Bingley smiled at the compliment. "Thank you, Miss de Bourgh. Of course, with your guidance, it is the only possible outcome."

Anne gave a small smile in reply. On the bright side, at least Miss Bingley had fewer things to say about Miss Bennet this time.

The first night Miss Bennet stayed at Netherfield, Miss Bingley complained about Miss Bennet's relations to trade, the behaviour of Mrs. Bennet, the audacity of Miss Bennet to get sick, the hassle of calling the apothecary, how Mr. Bingley was asking Miss Bingley about the patient every hour _and _many more.

The night after that was the worse because Miss Bingley had included Lizzy in her complaints and insults. The state of Lizzy's petticoat when she visited, how disarrayed her hair was, and how she had been 'rude' to refuse Mr. Bingley's invitation for nuncheon. Anne, though irritated on Lizzy's behalf, had remained silent and listened half-heartedly. As much as she wanted to stop Miss Bingley from talking so maliciously about her friend, Anne knew doing so would only make it worse.

"How is your afternoon with the Colonel and Lord Ashbourne? Have you acquired all your mother asked of you?"

_'Right,'_ Anne thought. She almost forgot that the excuse she and her cousins used to get away from Netherfield was 'a list Lady Catherine had asked Anne and his nephews to find.' Since Miss Bingley did not really know her family well, Anne had led her to believe that it was a tradition for the Fitzwilliam cousins, when visiting a new place, to fine the things on the list given by the matriarch of the family they were with.

Miss Bingley offered to help her at first but after Anne deflected that a good hostess should take care of her guests – especially a sick one – Miss Bingley let them be. Perhaps, it also helped that Anne had implied that Ashbourne would be please that Miss Bingley was doing such a great job at her duties.

Lies were beneath Anne, but after discovering the recent information her mother had kept from her, Anne was encouraged to use it. Anne supposed it was unfair of her to be dishonest to Miss Bingley – no matter how little – but if her mother disproved of her actions then she would only say that she had been following her footsteps!

Even Ashbourne did not approve of Anne's fabrication at first. However, after seeing that it was the politest way possible to escape Netherfield and be with Lizzy, he allowed the deception to continue. Richard, on the other hand, had supported her words from the start. She knew that while he was amused at the situation, Richard mostly supported her actions because he knew that she was mad and hurt at what her mother did and she needed release. So if that release was to lie to Miss Bingley a little, then so be it.

"Not all, Miss Bingley, but we will soon complete it." Anne answered promptly before changing the subject. "How are the preparations for the upcoming ball? Have you finished reading all my ideas and suggestions along with the brochures I lend you?"

That was another one of Anne's tricks to keep Miss Bingley from joining them on their outings and keeping her at Netherfield. _'Thank goodness that my godmother helped me in coming up with such ideas, otherwise I would be lost at what to do.'_ After all, Miss Bingley could be very persistent.

"Yes, they were all very helpful Miss de Bourgh. Louisa and I had also decided on the date."

And so, the rest of Anne's night was spent with the two sisters talking about preparations of the ball and some occasional gossips from London that Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst inserted from time to time. Richard and Ashbourne were lucky that they didn't have to suffer as much as she did. Not even a goodnight's kiss from Richard could make her feel better – well, only _sometimes_ it could not.

Nonetheless, Anne was thankful when the gentlemen came to the drawing room after playing billiards. It had been that way since Miss Bennet's stay there – when the ladies would visit her right after dinner and the gentlemen would entertain themselves with a game. Sighing in relief, Anne made her way to Richard. This was her escape.

"Miss Bingley, would you mind gracing us with your talent at the pianoforte?" Anne was so used to receiving blabbering compliments from Mr. Collins that she could easily compliment others in return. As long as Anne continued to subtly praise Miss Bingley at what she did, then she would obliged Anne's wishes.

Her theory was proven right when Miss Bingley smiled and immediately went to the pianoforte to play some tunes. Richard looked at her with amusement and Anne only rolled her eyes and directed her gaze to Mr. Bingley who was asking Mrs. Hurst about Miss Bennet's condition. A moment later, Ashbourne seated himself on the single chair beside the Colonel and pretended to focus on his reading.

When it was the polite time to leave, Ashbourne immediately excused himself saying he would retire. Anne and Richard exchanged amused looks before Richard reached for his pocket watch and showed Anne the time.

"Exactly the same time since we got here." Richard laughed quietly.

Stifling her own laughter, Anne looked at the door where Ashbourne had exited. Up until now, Anne was always entertained that Ashbourne always excuse himself from company as soon as it was deemed polite. Feeling rather tired, after a quarter of an hour, she also excused herself. Richard followed her example ten minutes later.

**-p&p-**

While the sight of a moonless sky would usually upset Elizabeth, she had enjoyed spending her afternoon earlier with her three newest friends that she felt nothing like nothing could dampen her mood - not even the absence of her 'guiding light'.

After days of being confined in the house, she had finally been able to get out and feel free. Oh, how Lizzy missed the warmth of the sunlight against her skin! Elizabeth sighed, closing her eyes as she recalled how the cold breeze blew upon her dress on top of Oakham Mount, making her feel as if she was flying.

She had been deprived of it all – the smell of the grass, the flapping of the birds, the buzzing of the insects, and the dirt on her shoes – but because of Lord Ashbourne's negotiation skills (for Lizzy was sure Mrs. Winters did not easily agree on his idea), Lizzy got it all back. And she didn't even need to lie or sneak out!

At the thought of the Marquess from the North, Elizabeth couldn't help but smile. _He_ was back! She had him back. Of course she had known this since the day she forgave him but Lizzy never thought that their friendship would be back to the way it was before their misunderstandings. If anything, the two of them seemed much closer than before and Elizabeth was glad for it.

Although Elizabeth was glad to have Anne and Colonel Fitzwilliam's friendship, she still felt that the friendship she had with them than with Lord Ashbourne was different.

Her similarities with Anne - having overprotective relations and living a sheltered life, resulting in thirst for freedom - forged a quick but strong bond between them. Colonel Fitzwilliam, on the other hand, shared Lizzy's teasing nature and lively disposition which made the two of them get along very well. Yet, despite these, Elizabeth felt that her friendship with Lord Ashbourne was stronger… deeper.

Perhaps it was because she had met him first and they got to know each other for about three weeks before they saw each other again in Hertfordshire. Maybe it was because they already had their misunderstandings and were both able to get pass it. Or, perhaps it was because of the unusual way they became friends. Whatever the reason was, Lord Ashbourne was special to Elizabeth Bennet and she was glad to have _him_ back.

He who was the blue-eyed gentleman Elizabeth had met on a rainy day not the one who had accused her of being a liar. He who went to the Gardiner Warehouse multiple times a week just to spend time with an unnamed lady and debate on various subjects and not the one who had insulted her and hurt her. Of course, Elizabeth knew that Lord Ashbourne had both those good and not-so-good qualities and that those things were what made him _him _but she was delighted to see that he was focusing on his better qualities than the not-so-good ones.

One of those qualities Elizabeth liked was him being a man of his word. It seemed that he was really trying hard to make up for his bad behaviour in the past and the way he had interacted earlier with Longbourn's tenants proved it. He had talked with them, smiled at them, asked how they were doing and even played with the children!

If she ever thought him proud and prejudiced once, then that all changed earlier… well, perhaps he was proud - but she supposed he had _some_ right to be. Besides, his past actions towards her had been the influence from his fear of disappointment from his father. Elizabeth understood it and would not begrudge him for that – as long as he did not repeat the same mistakes, of course.

Maybe _that_ was the reason why Elizabeth felt strongly towards him, because she had seen him change. He made a mistake and he humbled himself by apologising for it as well as making up for it not just through words but actions. But if Elizabeth was being really honest with herself, she thought that his friendship with Lord Ashbourne was special because they were beyond that. At least, Elizabeth thought that her feelings were beyond that.

While it was true that he had left an impression on her because she thought him to be the most handsome man she had ever seen, it was not only his appearance that caught her attention. She was also intrigued with his actions. Why would a gentleman such as him ride on Hyde Park when the rain was pouring heavily? Why would he like to get to know a lady who refused to reveal her name? And though some of her answers have been answered, Elizabeth felt that her curiosity about him was yet to be satiated. If anything, the more answers she got, the more she wanted to know him.

It was not enough that Elizabeth knew that he was an avid reader, a skilled rider, an intelligent gentleman. She was not satisfied with her knowledge on how he liked his tea or how he wanted to make his family proud. Elizabeth wished to learn all there was to know about him - his smiles, his moods, his laughter, and his sweetness, everything… As if just realising her thoughts, Elizabeth felt her cheeks heat up. '_Oh, my goodness.' _She thought with a quiet gasp. _'I like him!'_

Her realisation had her standing on both feet with surprise and she left the windowsill to flop herself on her bed. _'I can't believe it. I like him.'_

Though her mind was still reeling at the idea, she felt her heart beat faster in her chest. "I like him." Elizabeth finally whispered out loud, sending her into a fits of giggles seconds after.

As her giggles faded into a soft smile on her face, Elizabeth pulled out the cover of the bed and lay down in the middle before bringing it back over her body.

"I like Fitzwilliam Darcy." And with those soft words into the night, Elizabeth Bennet was soon claimed by Morpheus.

Unfortunately for her, the dreams that greeted her were not pleasant to say the least.

**-p&p-**

At a decent inn near the boarders of Hertfordshire, Lady Catherine de Bourgh sat by a wooden chair facing a writing table. It was a late Monday night and even though her candle was close to an end, it was still bright enough to see the frown on the lady's face as she scanned the files of paper in front of her.

She was so close… so close to finding what she wanted. Lady Catherine knew this, and it was the thing that frustrated her the most.

According to their investigations, Claire Wentworth resided in one of the boundaries of Hertfordshire. Finding Claire was Lady Catherine's main motive why she decided to travel to Netherfield with the Bingleys. Of course it also helped that coming to Netherfield had three other purposes.

One, of course, was in protecting her nephew, Fitzwilliam Darcy, from the clutches of Miss Bingley. After all, she heard from Elinor, her sister-in-law and one of the leaders of the Ton, about Miss Bingley's manners. Two, was forcing her other nephew, Richard Fitzwilliam, to make a move on her daughter and ask Anne's hand in marriage. Not only would the marriage stop his brother and the rest of the family from worrying over Richard in the army, but it would also secure her daughter's happiness. Lastly, her parson, Mr. Collins was supposed to find a wife in Hertfordshire and she wanted to make sure that Collins picked the right one.

Her parson might looked like a simpleton to the eyes of many because of his excessive compliments of his patron – her – but Lady Catherine knew that the young man meant well and she would hate for him to be taken advantage of. After all, she had not rescued Collins from his cruel father just to hand him over to a devious wife. Indeed, the reason why she advised him to take a wife was so he could devote his time and attention to things other than the parish and the de Bourghs.

That was why despite insisting on staying with her, Lady Catherine had ordered Collins to leave earlier that day, along with Mrs. Jenkinson (whom they had fetched from Bath a few days ago), to go back to Netherfield Park. She knew Collins was supposed to arrive at his Bennet relations within the week and Lady Catherine would not allow her other business to delay his purpose.

After all, Collins was the last one of her _other_ purposes that was yet to be accomplished. She knew that Anne and Richard had already come to an understanding and that Fitzwilliam was still protected from Miss Bingley. Thanks to Preston - one of her trusted servant who was currently employed as one of Netherfield's grooms – Lady Catherine was updated to what was happening at Netherfield. After all, she wouldn't leave her daughter behind without some kind of protection.

Still, being away from Anne made Lady Catherine uneasy. It was why she was more than eager to find Claire Wentworth soon. The sooner she found out more about the woman, the sooner she could go back to Anne.

She had no idea how Claire Wentworth managed to have so many alias (she was not even entirely sure if Wentworth was her last name!) and it was starting to irritate Catherine. Though, if she was being honest, she admired the woman for being so clever and leading her and many others into false tracks.

_'No matter'_, Lady Catherine thought, '_Claire may hide her from us but I will find the child soon.'_

**-p&p-**

The next morning, they all went to church and Anne continued her investigation on the Bennets. Like the last Sundays she had seen them, the whole Bennet family was seated at the first row of the pews with every member present. However, Anne did not fail to notice that while her sisters changed positions in their sitting arrangement, Lizzy remained at the right end and with her side was always either Miss Mary or Miss Kitty. The fact that Lizzy boarded on a different carriage with the same sisters who were always by her side was also not lost to Anne.

She then remembered, Miss Bennet's frown when Anne had asked how was Lizzy's visit that one time the latter visited the former at Netherfield. After so many clues from the Lucases, her own observations and from Digby, it was now obvious to Anne that there was some estrangement going on with the Bennet family. What she did not understand, however, is why.

Why was it that only Lizzy seemed to be excluded among them, even living in another house? Why would her family treat her so, except for Miss Mary and Miss Kitty? The next time she would call on Lizzy, Anne decided to be forward. After all, despite the fact that she was finding out the truth, it was a _slow_ process. And Anne didn't know why, but she felt it in her guts that she needed to know as soon as possible.

On their next visit, Anne thought to herself, she would ask.

* * *

**Yey! Our Lizzy finally realized she _likes_ Darcy – or does she? I'm looking for a different 'L' word, Elizabeth ;) And not, 'loathing' mind you.**

**What do you think about the pace of their relationships? What are your thoughts on Mr. Darcy's father and Lady Catherine's search for Claire Wentworth?**

**Thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows, they make my day! Stay safe and take care to all of you!**


	10. Chapter 10

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 9 – Darcy comes up with a way for Lizzy to go out more, with the help of his guards Jacobs and Carson; Lizzy gives the cousins a tour in Oakham Mount and tells them about her Grandma Claire; Lady Catherine searching for someone named Claire Wentworth. Lizzy realises her feelings.**

* * *

"Mama, I had a nightmare…" Elizabeth hear her four-year-old self saying hesitantly, peeking slightly at her mother's chambers. When she didn't get a response, she opened the door farther and let her little feet carry her near her mother's bed. "Can I sleep with you, please? I'm scared."

Instead of the gentle hug that she was hoping, her mother sprung out of bed and grabbed one of her arms. "I told you that you have no permission to enter my room!" As Mrs. Bennet's voice rose with every word, so did the tightness of her grip.

Elizabeth stood frozen on her spot as she watched her younger self shrink at Mama's words. "B-but Janey also had a bad dream last night and you let her stay…"

"That's because she's Jane! And unlike you, she did not kill my son!" Mrs. Bennet dragged little Lizzy to the door as she continued shouting accusations. "It should have been you who's in the graveyard, not my son."

With those parting words, Mrs. Bennet shut the door in front of little Lizzy's face. Elizabeth could do naught but looked rigidly at the scene as little Lizzy bit her lower lip to stop herself from making a sound and hugged her small middle as tears streamed down her face.

Elizabeth remembered that day very well – it was her first clear memory of Mama's accusations and harsh treatment. Grandma Claire had gone to Town earlier that day for what Elizabeth guessed as business matters (she was not quite sure she remembered the specific reason). However, Elizabeth did remember having a nightmare about a beast hiding under her bed which had her younger self at her wits end. In hopes of finding comfort, she sought her mother, only to be turned away cruelly.

As Elizabeth watched her old self walk away from the hallway dejectedly, she thought that her recollection of bad memories was over.

However, that was not to be because the next thing she knew, she was suddenly standing in the corner of her father's study. This time, her younger self was much older being ten and four years. Unlike the shaky little girl who came to her mother, her teen self was confident, standing tall and proud as she spoke to her father.

"If you did not let your wife overspent the estate's income, then the damaged caused by the storm would be fixed immediately."

Papa remained seated in his chair, his hands holding a book and it's as if he did not hear her words. "Sir, I ask you to please put down your book and listen to me."

Mr. Bennet still did not move nor replied.

Elizabeth saw her younger self clenched her fist, took a deep breath and started speaking again. "Fine, be that way, Sir, and blame me for the lesser money earned this year." Little Lizzy started off calmly, gritting her teeth. "It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that you sit here all day and read a book while your wife overspends the money that should be spared to help with the sick tenants and the repairs!"

Little Lizzy had noticed that her father had gone rigid, his fists turning white as he held his book. She also noticed his jaw hardened and that despite the book between them, he was looking at her with stern eyes. From his body movements, it was obvious that he was angry – but at least she was getting a reaction from him this time!

_'Oh, how wrong my younger self was to want a reaction from him…'_ Elizabeth thought sadly. She wanted to close her eyes, to forget what came next, but just like the first scene with Mama, she was unable to move. And so, Elizabeth watched little Lizzy deliver her final words: "But I guessed I should not be surprise seeing as how a negligent father you are, you ought to be a negligent landowner as well!"

_Smack!_

The sound of the slap reverberated around the room.

Tears sprang in little Lizzy's eyes as she took in what had happened. Elizabeth's eyes swelled up with unshed tears as well as she watched her younger self touch her injured cheek with one hand, mouth open in shock.

The next thing she heard was the loud sound of the door shutting.

_'No more please,' _Elizabeth begged silently, '_no more.'_ But Elizabeth once again received no mercy and was helplessly frozen as the scene change around her. This time it was Jane shouting at her, blaming Lizzy for losing Mr. Kearsley. It was followed by Lydia's insulting words. The worse part of her dream was Mary and Kitty was pointing their fingers at her as well, wishing she had never been their sister.

Then everything started to disappear until all she could see around her was black. Still, though she was alone in the darkness, the voices of her family continued to consume her. Elizabeth wanted to scream but no voice came out. Then, she felt her legs buckled before finally collapsing to the ground, her knees planted on the floor. Lastly, when she was able to move her hands, she brought it to her ears, hoping that she would stop hearing their cruel words.

"Stop, please," she finally heard her voice at last after what felt like forever. "I didn't… You're wrong… Stop…" For a long time she kept whispering those things as she hug her knees to herself, curling up into a ball and making herself as small as possible.

Just when Elizabeth thought that the torture would never end, she heard a gentle voice calling out to her. "Lizzy…"

As the voice repeated itself, the darkness started to turn into a familiar setting – Grandma Claire's chambers. Then, as if being summoned, Grandma Claire's figure suddenly appeared on the bed. "Lizzy, my little Lizzy…"

Instantly, Elizabeth flung herself into her. "Grandma, oh, how I missed you!"

But Elizabeth was ignored; her grandmother was not looking at her but at her younger self who was kneeling on the floor beside the bed. "Listen carefully, my little Lizzy, for I do not much have time left. Your parents love you very much, trust me in this. Your family loves you, Lizzy… especially your mother. Do not be mad at her for doing what she did, child. She only did it for you…"

With her dying breath, Claire Bennet whispered one last time, "You are loved Lizzy, believe me…"

Then, before anything else could happen, Elizabeth jolted on the bed, cold sweat dripping down her back and forehead. That was how she woke up on a cold Sunday, hours before the sun could rise. She found that it was no use trying to sleep again, seeing as she was too shaken up to do so. Instead, she busied herself with a book.

She made it halfway of the story but the words passed her and she couldn't seem to follow where the story was going, her mind still preoccupied with her thoughts. Putting the book down, Elizabeth opened the topmost drawer of the cabinet beside her and pulled out the entwined miniatures of her grandparents.

Looking at the younger version of her Grandma Claire, she softly asked: "Do they really love me like you said, grandma?"

Elizabeth didn't know how long she stared at the younger version of her grandmother that she was holding but when Alexa came in her room to dress her for the day, Elizabeth hid the miniatures in her pocket and talked to her Abigail as if nothing had happened.

**-p&p-**

Jane's return to Longbourn had also marked the return of the Bennets' normal routine. This meant that since Mrs. Bennet now had her two favourite daughters at home, then her attentions would be focused on them, freeing Mary and Kitty from her watchful eye.

They could finally visit Lizzy again.

However, once Elizabeth realised that it was getting close to the middle of November, she found out the nature of her most recent nightmare. Perhaps, unconsciously, her mind knew that _the day_ was approaching. This also meant that she would not be seeing her sisters any time soon. Oh, how she missed them! While Elizabeth loved the time she had spent with the Anne, the Marquess, and the Colonel, she longed to spend time with her sisters again.

Lizzy knew that their lack of visit was not their own doing, but because of the fact that Mama or Papa would not let them. In fact, Lizzy thought that she should be used to it by now, seeing as it was getting close to the 19th of November.

If Mama and Papa usually limited her time with her sisters, then they always made sure that Lizzy never get to spend any time with them all when _that_ particular date was approaching – the day of her twin brother's death. Of course, it pained Lizzy to be away from her family at such an unhappy time but she respected Mama's feelings on the matter. Lizzy knew that Mama was devastated at the loss of her brother, the one who could save them all from the hedgerows, as Mama would often put it.

So, when Monday evening came and Mrs. Hill came to the Dower House saying that her parents requested her presence immediately, Elizabeth was more than surprised. Despite her shock at this, Lizzy complied with her parents' request. She was not looking forward to sleeping anyway. Besides, what if her nightmare was a sign? Grandma Claire did tell her at the end that her parents loved her, right?

With hope beginning to swell in her chest, Elizabeth arrived at Longbourn with a smile plastered on her face. Perhaps, Mama and Papa had come to terms with the death of her twin and they no longer blamed it on her. Maybe they'll finally show that they cared for Lizzy.

However, Mrs. Bennet's statement at seeing her had crashed all those hopes and rendered Elizabeth speechless for a moment. "This is Elizabeth, the second eldest. I'm sure you'd be able to tolerate her as your wife."

The whole room had gone silent at Mrs. Bennet's presumptuous words and it took Lizzy to realise that she was talking to a tall, heavy looking young man with dark hair and eyes.

After a few more seconds, the stranger was the one who replied to the matron. "It is a pleasure to meet all of your daughters, Mrs. Bennet. It is no doubt that they were all of grace and beauty. However, while I am looking for a wife, I think that my search can start tomorrow. It is rather late in the evening, do you not think? Lady Catherine, my esteemed patroness, did remind me that I should have a clear mind in choosing a life companion and I believe a well-rested night of sleep is the key to achieve that."

"Of course, Mr. Collins, however…" the rest of Mama's sentence was lost on Lizzy as she continued to take in the situation.

When she found her voice to speak, she looked directly at Mrs. Hill even though it was addressed to everyone. "I, too, am tired and would like to retire. Good evening to you all," after a quick curtsy, she calmly walked to the door.

She was only a few steps away when, a hand caught her arm. She turned around only to find Mrs. Bennet's furious eyes. "Do not think that you can escape that easily, Missy. Since my son can't save us from losing Longbourn, _you_ will." The older woman's grip on her arms tightened. "You will marry Mr. Collins and I _will_ retain my home. Do you think that I do not know that you were befriending the people at Netherfield?"

When she did not reply, Mrs. Bennet pulled her farther away from the house, still not releasing her arm. "_You_ will stop your illusions at once, do you hear me? Mr. Collins is the only offer you will receive and you _will_ accept him, whether you like it or not. I will ask Hill to bring you again to me on Thursday and you will _obey_ me, girl!"

It was only when she felt herself nod that Mrs. Bennet released her arm and went back to the house. Lizzy could only stand there in shock. If Mrs. Hill did not approach her, then Lizzy was sure she would remain in her position for much longer.

"I'm so sorry, dear." Mrs. Hill's embrace was the only thing shielding her from the cold night. "I should have warned you about it first…"

In answer, Lizzy shook her head. "It's not your fault Mrs. Hill. I did walk ahead of you because of my excitement. I doubt that you would be able to catch up with me to tell me what was happening. It was my fault for hoping."

The older woman's reply was by placing Lizzy's head to lean on her shoulder once again. Lizzy stayed like that with Mrs. Hill for quite some time and she only pulled away from the older woman, when Graham approached them. "Thank you, Mrs. Hill."

After kissing the woman's cheek, Lizzy allowed Graham to escort her back to the Dower House. She could spy Archie a few yards ahead of them and could hear Roger's step from behind her. Their presence was the only thing that kept Lizzy aware of her surroundings.

When they got back, she ran passed Andrew, who was waiting by the door, and headed straight to her room. If Mrs. Winters or Alexa, who she also passed at the sitting room, noticed her sudden flight, they did not follow her. For that, she was grateful. She did not want them to look at her with pity while she cried her heart out.

Yet, as she sat alone in her bedroom, staring at her reflection on the mirror across her, the tears she was waiting for never came. They remained unshed but she felt their heaviness weighing in her lids. _'Do not cry, Lizzy.'_ She silently instructed herself. _'It was your fault for hoping anyway so you have no right to cry.'_

Her mantra had been successful and it was only when she had closed her eyes to sleep that she felt a teardrop ran down her cheek.

**-p&p-**

When Elizabeth woke up the next morning, she went on her usual routine like nothing happened and bid Mrs. Winters to be careful on her journey to London. Before luncheon yesterday, a letter had arrived from her Aunt Madeline asking Mrs. Winters of her assistance with the children since Uncle Edward's old warehouse – which was presently used as a small storage for common materials after they had relocated – had been caught on fire. It was a good thing that they did not store expensive goods there, but still, the products that had been kept there had been burned. Nonetheless, they were all thankful that no one had been harmed.

Yesterday, when she had learned the unfortunate events, Lizzy was adamant to travel with Mrs. Winters. But after what had happened last night, Lizzy knew she would not be able to help her Aunt and Uncle so she had decided to oblige their request and stay at the Dower House. Besides, with the mood she was currently in, she would only add to their worries and be a burden which she didn't want.

Instead of her presence, a letter was given to Mrs. Winters to deliver to Aunt Madeline. It contained information telling them that Lizzy was well and in good health, not to worry about her, asking how the Gardiner family were fairing, to take care of themselves, and her request for her Aunt's immediate reply. Lizzy really wished that her Aunt would write to her soon for it would take away some things off her mind… especially with the recurring nightmares she had been having these past few days.

She had been dreaming of the same thing over and over again to the point that she was afraid to sleep. The comfort she once felt in Grandma Claire's appearance was gone too. For though her grandmother was in her dreams, her words telling Lizzy that her family loved her now seemed mocking. Whatever hopes she once held about her parents finally showing some care for her were now gone. Her disappointment and her unpleasant dreams, along with the unfortunate news about the fire on the Gardiner's old warehouse in London, had caused Lizzy to lose her appetite and hours of sleep.

Elizabeth knew that Alexa suspected that her subdued behaviour had to do with today's date and no other reason. For that, Elizabeth was grateful. She didn't want her Abigail to worry about her nightmares or her mother's demands that she marry Mr. Collins. Besides, if she told Alexa these things, Elizabeth was certain that the Abigail would immediately write to Aunt Gardiner. Lizzy couldn't afford to bother her Aunt like that, especially since her letter about the fire revealed her distressed state despite trying to hide it.

To confirm her Abigail's suspicion of her quiet mood since Sunday, Elizabeth asked Alexa's assistance to change into a gown of darker colour once Mrs. Winters left. Elizabeth he chose a simple mauve day gown and partnered it with a black shawl. To anyone who would see her, she it would appear to them that she was mourning. And she was, for today was the 19th of November, the day her twin brother had died. Back at Longbourn, Elizabeth knew that her parents and sisters were dressed in the same fashion as she was too.

She only prayed that wherever her brother was now, he was in peace.

**-p&p-**

When Fitzwilliam Darcy saw the tone colours Elizabeth was wearing that day, he was immediately worried. Why was she dressed in mourning clothes? Had something happened? Who died? Was Elizabeth doing alright? He did notice that there were some dark areas under her eyes and that her orbs seemed to have lost their sparkle today. Of course, his beloved still looked lovely but her lack of spirit worried Darcy.

Even when she offered them a welcoming smile, Darcy was still not comforted. His concern overpowering his being, once inside, Darcy immediately asked: "Are all your family in good health?"

"They are, my Lord. Thank you for asking." She replied before frowning, "However, I've received some distressing news from my Aunt Gardiner yesterday and their old warehouse had been caught on fire."

"Is there anyone harmed?"

"Thankfully, there is none, Colonel."

"That's good to hear," said Richard. "I think I shall write a letter to Mr. Gardiner to see how he fares. I am one of his investors, after all."

Once Elizabeth expressed her approval at Richard's plans, Anne was quick to ask next. "If you do not mind me asking, Lizzy, why are you wearing mourning colours if no one is hurt by the fire? Was there another incident that happened?"

Elizabeth shook her head lightly. "There was none. However, my choice of clothes today is to commemorate the death of my twin brother."

Sensing her uneasiness, Darcy was quick to change the subject. "How is Master Abbot faring?"

At Lord Ashbourne's question, Elizabeth couldn't help but smile lightly. Little Michael Abbot was one of the children of Longbourn's tenants who got along well with the Marquess when they visited last Saturday. He was a sweet boy of six but was too small for his age causing him to shy away from the other children because of their teasing.

Elizabeth had tried to raise his confidence but it only resulted in little improvement. Michael would join the others but only if _they _asked him to join them first. If not, he was content to watch quietly on a corner. So when Elizabeth had visited with the cousins last Saturday, she was surprised that Lord Ashbourne had been the one who managed to get the boy out of his shell.

"He reminds me of myself." Lord Ashbourne had told her when she had asked him what his secret was for persuading Michael so easily to initiate his interaction with the children. "My father started teaching me about my duties at a young age so I rarely had the time to play; and whenever I get the chance to, I had been too shy to do so. So when I saw Master Abbot watching the other children from a corner, I asked him what he wanted to become when he grows up."

"That's it?" Elizabeth has asked in disbelief. "I tried many times to increase his confidence and you ask him _that_ question and he was suddenly alright playing with the others? You must be playing with me, my Lord."

"Me, play with you?" He had asked looking offended. "Never, Miss Elizabeth." His serious look then turned playful with his next sentence. "However, if you ask me nicely then I might tell you Master Abbot's answer."

True to his words, once she had asked _nicely_, he did tell her the whole conversation he had with the shy little boy. "Master Abbot told me that he wanted to become like his father because his father was not afraid of the dark or thunderstorms. So I told Master Abbot that if he wanted to be brave like his father then, he have to conquer his fears first."

Touched at the tale, Elizabeth had smiled at him. "That was an interesting way to encourage him."

"The credit belongs to Mrs. Reynolds, one of my the housekeepers of my family's estates. She had asked me the same thing when I was a child. Master Abbot and I happened to have the same answer so I supposed that was why it worked on him too." Despite his nonchalance, Elizabeth had seen the pained look in his eyes that had flashed briefly.

"I'm sure that your father was proud of you. I know, I am," she had told him softly, before narrowing her eyes playfully at him. "However, I am loathe to admit it seeing as you bested me in helping little Michael."

The smile she had received in return had rendered her almost speechless.

"Have you visited him again after last Saturday?" Lord Ashbourne's question brought Elizabeth out of her thoughts.

"Yes, yesterday. He was disappointed not to see you though."

And with that, the conversation had turned to lighter subjects which Darcy was thankful for. Elizabeth seemed on edge today, her fingers fidgeting with anything they came in contact with. She had also not touched any of the pastries that served in front of them. At her restless behaviour, Darcy was determined to keep the topic from getting serious for fear that Elizabeth might not be able to handle it without losing her composure.

Unfortunately for him, his wishes were thrown right out of the window the moment Anne spoke up. "I am not one to pry, Lizzy, but you are my dear friend and I only wanted to help you. Forgive me for asking bluntly, but is there an estrangement growing with you from your family?"

**-p&p-**

It was hours after Mrs. Winters' departure, when Anne, along with Lord Ashbourne and Colonel Fitzwilliam, called on her. Their presence brought her some comfort, especially now that she was aware of her feelings for the Marquess, but it was not enough to keep Elizabeth from her whirlwind of thoughts.

On the first couple minutes of their visit, Lizzy did her best to be the consummate hostess – welcoming them with a graceful smile, serving tea, and engaging them in polite conversation. However, it was Anne's unexpected question that caught her off guard and broke her walls. "I am not one to pry, Lizzy, but you are my dear friend and I only wanted to help you. Forgive me for asking bluntly, but is there an estrangement growing with you from your family?"

Maybe it was her surprise at Anne's question, perhaps it was the anxiousness and worry she felt for her Gardiner relations, maybe it stemmed up from her disappointment and hurt last night, maybe it could be the nightmares, perhaps it was because of the significance of the date today, maybe it was her lack of food or sleep since Sunday, or for all she knew it could the pain she had been carrying all these years – whatever it was, Elizabeth suddenly found it hard to breathe; and it was with a grieved look and a shaky voice that she tried to answer Anne. "I was the cause of my twin brother's death…"

Elizabeth would have winced for how weak she sounded at the way her voice cracked at the last word if her declaration wasn't followed by heavy sobs that made her chest contract in pain and left her almost breathless.

Upon seeing his beloved suddenly burst into tears, Darcy, who was originally sitting on a single chair near her, immediately moved to Elizabeth's side on the settee and took hold of her hand after placing his handkerchief in her other hand. In turn, he felt her hand grip his tightly, as if drawing strength and support.

"I'm so sorry Lizzy," Anne said rushing to Elizabeth's other side, quickly followed by Richard. "It's alright if you don't want to talk about it. I didn't mean to push you."

Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out, when Darcy noticed her difficulty in breathing, his other hand reached for the teapot and he poured some tea on her empty cup. However, before he could hand it to her, Richard transferred its contents to another empty cup. Darcy glared at him and was about to protest, when Richard held out a hand signalling him to wait and showed him a small bottle of brandy.

"The strong taste would bring her back to us," Richard explained after pouring some of the liquid into Elizabeth's tea cup.

Nodding, Darcy held the cup up to Elizabeth. When he saw her hand shaking, Darcy didn't let go of her cup and assisted her into drinking it. "Take a few sips, Elizabeth." When she obeyed, Darcy continued to encourage her. "Just few more to warm you up, dearest; your hands are cold and you're very pale."

When she finished the cup, her breathing was still uneven and it pained Darcy to her like that.

"Breathe, Elizabeth," He coaxed softly, as he did the same, hoping that she would follow his lead. It took a few more times before she copied him and when she did, he gave her a light smile. "That's it, dearest, slowly."

If anyone noticed Darcy's slip of calling Elizabeth by her name and an endearment more than once, none of them pointed it out.

When Elizabeth regained her normal breathing, she spoke to Anne slowly. "I-It's alright A-Anne, there's nothing to forgive." Though her countenance was less pale, her voice was still soft and a little shaky. After wiping her eyes using Darcy's handkerchief, she continued addressing Anne. "Perhaps, it was time that I talk to someone about it. I believe that keeping everything to myself for more than ten years has left me surprisingly emotional." Her last statement was said with a half-hearted weak laugh but none of them had the heart to laugh or smile.

"If you're sure, Lizzy, then we will listen." Anne said. "You can trust us."

"Here have some tea before you begin," said Darcy handing her a full cup. The brandy had done her paling countenance good but Darcy knew that more alcohol would do no good so he offered her tea instead. His mother once told her that tea is good in reducing anxiety.

"Thank you," Elizabeth smiled weakly at him and Darcy squeezed her hand in return.

**-p&p-**

Meanwhile, at the Gardiner Residence in London, Edward Gardiner stared helplessly at his wife who lay unmoving on the bed. She had been crying incessantly after he informed her of his suspicions that the fire in their old warehouse had not been by accident, that he was forced to put some sleeping herbs in her tea to help her calm down and rest.

Madeline had been calm when he told her about the fire. It was only when Edward had told her of his suspicions that she broke down immediately into tears and started to panic.

Edward loved his wife very much and he knew she was a strong woman. It was why he did not keep his suspicions from her, knowing that she could handle it. However, the things that happened in the past few years had made Madeline worry constantly for their all of their safety. She was still strong, there was no doubt about that, but she had also become sensitive about matters concerning their safety.

Perhaps he had overestimated her wife and he now regretted telling her his suspicions. Yet, at the same time he knew that he needed to tell her the truth. That way, they could be prepared for the next things that would come their way – the fire was just a warning. The worst was yet to come…

"We will get through this, Maddie." He whispered to his wife's unconscious form. "I promise."

At that moment, only three things brought him comfort. One; the children were playing safely in the next room, two; Lizzy was safe in Hertfordshire, surrounded by footmen and living in a Dower House that had many hiding places, and three; Claire Bennet had left off many false trails to make sure that they would never find her and Lizzy.

Edward could only hope that Claire had many more aliases left to distract the people after them, giving him some time to plan his next course of action to protect his family and Lizzy… otherwise, everything they had worked hard for would come to naught.

* * *

**What do you guys think of the fire at the Gardiner's old warehouse? Mr. Collins? Lizzy's brother's death anniversary? Mrs. Bennet's demands? Edward Gardiner? State your opinion in the reviews!**

**Up next, Lizzy _finally_ telling her story to the cousins.**

**If you want something to occupy your time while waiting for updates then I recommend you go to YouTube and check out the "Pride and Prejudice: A New Musical" by Paul Gordon the soundtracks are available there and it's fun to listen to. The songs in "Austen's Pride: A New Musical of Pride and Prejudice" are good too but they're harder to find. The soundtracks on "Jane Eyre the Musical" are cool too.**


	11. Chapter 11

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 10 – Lizzy's been having flashback turned nightmares, she received news that the Gardiner's old warehouse was caught on fire, and Anne asked _the_ question. Now let's see how our Lizzy will answer, shall we?**

**Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and follows!**

* * *

Once Elizabeth placed her tea cup on the table, she took a deep breath and began telling her story.

"Mrs. Bennet started losing her temper at me when I was around four, but it wasn't until after I turned five that she started disparaging me; from my appearance to the way I walk, talk – everything and nothing, she always has something to say. When Grandma saw bruises on my arms, which resulted from Mama's tight grips, she immediately arranged for the Dower House to be prepared for us. Before I turned six, this," Elizabeth gestured at the neat space around them, "was already my home."

"About a week after we moved here, Grandma hired Mrs. Winters to be my governess and companion. I was surprised at first because Grandma Claire was already acting as my governess; she taught me everything I know – from reading, writing, doing my maths, and to speaking different languages. It was only when I was older that I realised the reason why Grandma hired Mrs. Winters: to keep an eye on me. Or rather, to keep an eye on my parents when they interact with me and shield me from them."

Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth continued. "Grandma was wise to do that. Because when her illness took her away before I turned nine, Papa made me handle estate matters. Year after year he added more duties for me to take so by the time that I was fourteen, I basically manage the estate on my own."

To this, Anne and Richard stared at Elizabeth with wide-eyed expressions. Darcy, aghast at what he learned, curled his free hand into a fist. While his father had started teaching him of his duties and responsibilities at a young age, he didn't have to do it all fully until he turned eight and ten. His poor Elizabeth, having such a heavy responsibility at a young age!

"Then what does Mr. Bennet do, then?" Anne couldn't help but interrupt. "Read books all day? From what I heard around, he seemed to be very fond of his study."

When Elizabeth nodded, Anne gasped. "But how could you let him do this to you, Lizzy. You don't have to follow everything he says… even if he is your father."

"But I do, Anne." Elizabeth said, shaking her head. "If I didn't manage the estate, he would not let me spend time with Kitty and Mary. Mama already keeps Jane and Lydia from me and I don't want to lose the only good relationships I have with my family."

"And you have not," Darcy assured her with a squeeze of her hand. "They cared about you, Miss Elizabeth, so much so that they risked subtly reproaching a Marquess within his hearing just to defend you."

"If you're referring to the Marquess of Ashbourne," Anne said looking at Darcy with a mock glare, her way of trying to lighten the mood, "then he certainly deserved that reproach." She then turned back to Elizabeth solemnly. "Now, Lizzy, tell us, what else does Mr. Bennet do?"

"He only lets Kitty and Mary spends time with me if I were to teach them how to manage the estate and other accomplishments such as playing the pianoforte. If the desired income for the year was not attained, he prevents them from seeing me too."

Suspecting that there was more to it, Richard prodded. "All he did was separate you from sisters, right? Or, has he threatened you in some other way… say, physically?"

When Elizabeth flinched, the cousins grew more concerned.

"Do not worry," Elizabeth was quick to mollify them. "He has only done it once and it was my fault for provoking him."

"Once does not make it better, Miss Elizabeth." Darcy stated vehemently. It was taking all his self-control not to pace around the room in frustration and anger. He had suspected something like this, when she explained why she had ran away from him the first time he was going to apologise, but hearing the truth from her mouth did not make it easier. "A gentleman should never lay his hands on a lady, especially his daughter."

"I was almost fifteen – foolish and driven by emotion. The bad weather inflicted damaged on some of our properties and the tenants were getting sick but Mama still overspent her allowance so I tried to talk to Mr. Bennet to stop it but he wouldn't listen! So I shouted at him not caring if my words were blunt. The next thing I know, there was a stinging pain in my right cheek."

"He slapped you!" Anne gasped, her hands covering her mouth.

"Yes, but it was my fault for being disrespectful. I should've just keep quiet and find a solution on my own."

Darcy and Anne were about to contradict Elizabeth and tell her that she should not place the blame on herself but Richard cut in. "What happened next?"

"Mrs. Winters brought me to my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner's house in London. I stayed there for six months before they sent me back here for my safety." At the cousins' confused expressions, Elizabeth continued, "That was when the elder Mr. Price entered their lives."

The cousins nodded in understanding. Elizabeth was glad that she did not have to tell them about Mr. Price all over again. While telling about him was not as hard as telling how her family treated her, Elizabeth was just too emotionally exhausted to dwell on other facts right now.

Moving on, Elizabeth then proceeded to tell them that when she got back to Longbourn, her responsibilities were still the same and she was still the one managing the estate in the present. "Mary and Kitty helps me with the needs of the tenants, as well as Charlotte and Maria Lucas. Lady Lucas and John Lucas also advised me in estate matters while Sir William makes sure that I am not harmed physically. Mr. and Mrs. Hill help with that too."

After hearing this, Anne inwardly commended herself. She was right; the Lucases knew more than they let on. Perhaps they could be possible allies in helping Lizzy.

When asked about Jane, Elizabeth explained what had happened to her sister's first suitor and how it affected their relationship. Regarding Lydia, she told them that she was too spoiled by Mrs. Bennet and therefore, always followed in her mother's lead.

"That is why you had taken a dislike to poetry." Darcy pointed out and when Elizabeth nodded, Darcy's heart went out to her. He knew that she was an avid reader and knowing that her selection for a reading material had been limited because of a bad memory saddened him. But perhaps he could change that… Darcy made a mental note to create new memories with Elizabeth in regards to reading poetry.

After that, Elizabeth explained that her time was divided into Hertfordshire and Longbourn every year. She'd stay in the county during planting and harvest seasons and she would visit Town on the other months. She also told them that because of her Aunt Gardiner's overprotective nature, her freedom at London was limited and the only place she was allowed to visit was the Gardiner Warehouse.

"They allowed me to go shopping once – with Mrs. Winters and Graham, the footman Grandma Claire hired for me – but when they found out that I've made a friend in Lady Amelia, the one who helped me learn the truth about Jane's suitor, they forbid me to see her. Since then, I've never met anyone outside Hertfordshire…" she then glanced at Darcy, "until Lord Ashbourne, that is."

"It was why you kept your name a secret," Darcy said, starting to comprehend their unusual meetings, "to keep your relations from finding out. You feared that they would hear of our encounters. It was also the reason why no one, save Digby, knows of our meetings, was it not?"

"Yes."

"But why would they go as far as keep you in the house, Lizzy?"

Elizabeth twisted the handkerchief in her free hand as she contemplated what to say. "Years before the 'elder Mr. Price incident', Aunt Gardiner had a miscarriage caused by the attack of highwaymen which made her wary and overly cautious. However, I am not obtuse not to suspect that there may be other reasons why they do not want me wandering in Town. Despite my suspicions, I never questioned why they don't want me to leave the house."

She bit trembling lip before explaining further. "They were my only family who loved me truly. My Aunt and Uncle Gardiner acted as my parents when Grandma died. I am afraid that if I did not do their bidding then, they would not love me anymore…" Tears once again escaped her eyes. "So I complied, only breaking the rules a few times. My Aunt and Uncle Philips tolerate me – maybe even pity me – but that was it."

Each one of the cousins was suspicious at what could possibly be the Gardiners' reason for limiting Elizabeth's freedom but they didn't dare voice their theories on why. It was silently decided that they would discuss it later.

When Elizabeth got to the part of her mother insisting that she marry Longbourn's heir, the three cousins were shocked. More so after finding out that said heir was Mr. Collins who was Lady Catherine's parson.

"I knew he was visiting his relatives but I didn't know it was your family," said Anne. "Do not fret, Lizzy. You do not have to marry him. Mr. Collins will consult my mother's approval and I will make sure that you're not going to be his wife."

At Anne's words, Elizabeth bursted into a sob, "Oh, thank you, Anne. You do not know how relieved I am to hear that." When her cries subsided, she confessed softly, "I always dreamed of marrying for only the deepest of love. I have already experience a life with a family who mostly do not care for me and when I do get the chance to start my own family, I wanted it to be filled with love that I did not remember with my parents. I believe I could only do that if I respect and love my partner in life too."

"You are most welcome, Lizzy. Despite our short acquaintance you have become dear to me and I only wanted to see you happy."

Elizabeth smiled at Anne and the two gentlemen watched the exchange fondly.

However, at the back of Darcy's mind, he still feared for Elizabeth. She was not yet of age and though she would not be Mr. Collins' intended because of Anne and Lady Catherine, her parents might still force her to another man.

"They didn't use to be this way, you know?" Elizabeth asked rhetorically, drying her tears with Darcy's handkerchief. "Grandma Claire did tell me, before she passed, that my family – my parents, my mother – love me. My earliest memories were a little foggy but I knew that Mama did love me once. Things started to change months before she became pregnant with Lydia and it only got worse when Lydia was born. They said she couldn't conceive anymore after Lydia. I guess she took it hard that she can't try for a son anymore…"

"What was the cause of your brother's death?" Anne asked hesitantly.

"Grandma Claire told me that it was the flu that took him."

Confused, Anne queried further. "Then why did Mrs. Bennet blamed his death on you?"

Elizabeth dropped her gaze away from Anne's eyes, her grip on Darcy's hand tightening, as if afraid that she would be judge at her answer. "I was the one who got sick first. My brother got it from me. That's why I can see where Mama's blames are coming from." Swallowing the lump in her throat, she continued. "A part of me agrees with her. It should have been my brother that survived, not me. At least, our family wouldn't have to worry about Longbourn if he did. The guilt I feel plays a part on why I let Papa make me do his duties as landowner."

"You can't control that!" Darcy interrupted impassionedly, before Elizabeth could continue berating herself. It was one thing for her to think that she deserved Mr. Bennet's slap but to blame herself for something uncontrollable like death was another matter. "And you did your best with Longbourn – you shouldered so many responsibilities at such a young age."

"Yes I cannot change the past nor do I have a say on who lives or dies – I know that. And a part of me – the one that knows that – resented my parents for doing to me what they did all these years!" Her fists clenched and her eyes blazed with fury in time with her raising voice. "I resented them for blaming me for the things I can't control, that half of the time I do not refer to them as 'Mama' or 'Papa'. In my mind, they became 'Mrs. Bennet' or 'Mr. Bennet' and when I talk to them it's often 'Sir' or 'Madam'."

A new set of tears escaped her and Elizabeth shut her eyes tight. She hated this – she hated crying for her parents. A part of her believed that they did not deserve her tears but another part of her couldn't help it. She was their daughter, but why didn't it feel like that? For years she kept the bitter side of her, hid it by focusing on the amusing parts of life, so now that she was saying how she honestly felt, it was as if a dam had opened and her emotions were drowning her thoughts and senses.

"Sometimes, the only reason I still think of them as 'Mama' and 'Papa' was because, if I didn't think of them as my parents then I'm afraid to lose the love and little respect I have for them. I do not want to be hateful." She opened her eyes to glare at the empty air with conviction. "I do not want to be like them."

While the cousins did notice Elizabeth's inconsistency in addressing her parents, they heed it no mind. However, hearing her reasons now grieved them. How long had she been feeling this way?

Darcy was used to seeing her smile and hearing her mirthful laughter that he was taken aback by everything that she was telling them. How could such a gentle creature remain frolicsome despite the hurt she was feeling inside? Her inclination to still try to be happy when she was being pushed down only made Darcy admire her more.

Lowering her eyes once again, Elizabeth took a deep breath to calm down. When she continued, her voice was softer. "But at the same time, a part of me hopes that I'm not related to them. That maybe I have a real family somewhere out there that loves me. I used to believe that I was adopted, you know?" She told them with a sour smile. "My features are very different from my sisters and parents. Where Mama, Jane and Lydia are blonde and Papa, Mary and Kitty have light to medium brown hair, I have dark brown."

"I think your hair is closest to the colour of Mahogany," Darcy interrupted, wanting to lighten the mood a little by speaking of something he knew very well. "Has anyone ever told you that it is hard to distinguish the actual colour of your hair? I think it ranges from a deep reddish-brown to a deep dark brown. When illuminated by the sunlight, some strands also appear like a dark gold colour."

For the first time since she began her story, Elizabeth laughed. It was not the rich and full laughter that Darcy had become accustomed to, but it was a laugh from Elizabeth nonetheless. No matter how short or light it was, Darcy would take it.

"I think you could compete with Alexa in describing my hair, your Lordship."

"I look forward to winning that competition, then."

"Very well, sir, if that's what you think." Then, Elizabeth's eyes turned serious again. "As for the eyes, Jane and Mary inherited Papa's light blue eyes while Kitty and Lydia got their hazel ones from Mama. I was the only one with a deep green colour."

"Perhaps you got it from your grandparents?" Richard suggested, after all, while he looked like a younger version of his father, it was said that his elder brother, Henry, was almost a copy of their Grandfather Fitzwilliam.

"That is what my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner told me, Colonel." Before more could be said, Elizabeth took out two miniatures from her pockets and presented it to them. "This is what my Grandma Claire and Grandpa Bennet looked like when they were younger."

The cousins nodded, seeing the similarities in colouring; Elizabeth had gotten her hair from her grandmother and her eyes from her grandfather. However, Darcy did not fail to notice that both Anne and Richard both had odd looks on their faces when they saw picture of Elizabeth's grandmother. He would have to remember to ask them about it later.

"Unfortunately, these proofs put an end to my childish fantasies of not being a Bennet." Lizzy said ruefully, looking at the miniatures one last time before putting it back in her pockets. She had started carrying them around her since she woke up from her nightmare the other day.

"Do you really want to belong to another family?" Anne asked.

"I just wanted to feel loved, somewhere that I belong. Do not get me wrong, I know that Mary and Kitty loves me, as well as the Gardiners, but…"

"A parent's love is different than a sibling's adoration or a relative's support," Darcy finished, speaking from his own experience. While his little sister, Georgiana, practically looked up at him as a hero, and his relatives thought of him as an honourable man, his father only saw him as someone who was not good enough.

"Yes." Elizabeth answered meeting his eyes and Darcy felt that he could get lost in them forever. Their situations were different yet somehow, they're the same. "I couldn't have worded it better, my Lord."

They were all silent after that, each contemplating all that has been said in the past hour. After some time, Elizabeth spoke up. "I think it is time I refresh myself and ask Cook for some snacks to be delivered here."

"Of course, Miss Elizabeth."

It was only when Elizabeth stood up and walked towards the kitchen when Darcy felt the loss of her hand. He did not even realise that he had been holding her hand for so long. Smiling, he glanced down at his fingers and wriggled them lightly, still feeling the little sparks he got from being in contact with Elizabeth's skin. It was only then that he noticed neither of them was wearing gloves.

When he looked up, Richard had a teasing grin plastered on his face. But before his older cousin could make fun of him, a commotion near where Elizabeth had exited interrupted; making Darcy's practically leapt out of his chest with surprised which immediately turned into worry after hearing the scream that followed: "Miss Lizzy!"

**-p&p-**

Alexa Digby watched quietly as Miss Lizzy began telling her visitors about her life. She was glad that her mistress finally chose to open up. Knowing that they would be needing privacy, she silently directed Archie (for he was the footman designated to look after Miss Lizzy at the moment) to move to the entryway of the drawing room. That way, they would not be able to see or hear anything unless they decided to take a peek.

Hopefully, once Miss Lizzy finished relating her story to them, then her visitors could help her with her situation. It was very convenient that Mrs. Winters needed to travel to London. Otherwise, Alexa did not think that Miss Lizzy could talk to her visitors as freely as she was doing now. Well, they could ride out again but Alexa didn't think that Miss Lizzy was in the mood for that today.

As for propriety, Alexa made sure to check on them every five minutes. While she trusted Lord Ashbourne, Miss de Bourgh and the Colonel, she would not risk harm to any of their reputations. Even if the few other servants that worked in the Dower House were very loyal, Mrs. Bennet or any other visitor could come calling unexpectedly.

Though, Alexa very much doubt that the Bennet matriarch would dare enter the Dower House. After all, today was the 19th of November, the death of Fanny Bennet's beloved son. Still, she would not take her chances.

After about more than an hour, Alexa was relieved to see Miss Lizzy heading towards the kitchen. However, her relief instantly turned to horror as she watched Miss Lizzy's figure sway a little, one hand taking hold of a medium-sized charcoal vase before completely losing balance and taking the glass piece with her to the ground, breaking it into pieces.

Alexa's instant reaction was a scream. "Miss Lizzy!"

Luckily, before Miss Lizzy could hit her head, Archie was quick to catch her at the last moment. Rushing on her feet, Alexa kneeled down before her mistress. "Miss Lizzy!"

Not a second longer after Alexa's second cry of Miss Lizzy's name, Lord Ashbourne was at the scene followed by Miss de Bourgh and Colonel Fitzwilliam.

Without hesitation, Lord Ashbourne took Miss Lizzy's unconscious form from Archie and carried her away from the scattered pieces of glass. "She's breathing." Alexa heard the Marquess sigh in relief.

"Ask someone to clean up, I'll check on Miss Lizzy." Without waiting for Archie's reply, Alexa followed Lord Ashbourne and the others to the drawing room.

"Wait!" Anne stopped Ashbourne before he could set Lizzy on the settee and quickly fiddled with Lizzy's dress to loosen her corset. When done, she let her cousin placed her friend gently on the settee and turned quickly to the other two people in the room. "Richard, open all the windows. Digby, please fetch Lizzy a glass of water, some towels and a basin filled with water. If you also have some smelling salts, please bring it."

As Richard and Digby got to work, Anne ushered Ashbourne away from Lizzy which caused her cousin to glare at her. "I'm checking her pulse."

"But she needs air, step away from her."

Reluctantly, Ashbourne obeyed. "I think her heartbeat has returned to normal."

"Good," Anne said absentmindedly, removing Lizzy's shoes before bringing her feet together and raising it. [1]

"What are you doing?" Ashbourne asked, quickly averting his eyes.

Her cousin's shifted gaze confused Anne until she realised that with the way she was holding Lizzy's legs, the hem of the gown revealed her ankles which was clad in stockings. Anne would be amused if she was not panicking so to distract herself, she answered his question.

"I do not know," Anne replied honestly, "I saw an apothecary do this to one of Rosings' gardeners when he passed out. But if you wanted to do something, take the towels from Digby when she comes back. Wet it using the bowl of water, and apply it to Lizzy's face and neck."

Just as Anne finished explaining, Digby appeared and Ashbourne did as he was told.

"I'm afraid we don't have smelling salts, Miss de Bourgh."

"That's alright," Anne tried to assure the girl, "maybe you could get a fan instead to help Lizzy get some air."

Digby nodded and immediately left to find a fan. From the corner of her eye, she saw Richard return as well. "Richard, could you keep the room warm?"

As an answer to Anne's request, Richard quickly moved to the fireplace and stoked the fire.

After what felt like an eternity, Richard heard Darcy's sigh of relief, indicating that Miss Elizabeth was now gaining consciousness. Quickly, Richard left the fireplace and stood beside Darcy.

**-p&p-**

Elizabeth opened her eyes slowly with her head spinning and a dry throat. "What happened?"

Darcy, who was inwardly panicking ever since he saw an unconscious Elizabeth in the arms of a footman, adjusted the wet folded towel on her forehead. "Do not move for a minute, Miss Elizabeth."

Too tired and confused to disobey, Elizabeth remained lying down on the settee.

When Elizabeth complied, Darcy helped her in drinking the glass of water her Abigail prepared. "Drink this slowly, Miss Elizabeth. You fainted."

"I did?" She asked after taking a few sips. "I do remember feeling dizzy…"

Before any of them could reply, a woman who looked to be about in her late fifties, with greying hair and kind blue eyes entered the room with a tray in her hands. "This is what you get for not eating properly, Miss Lizzy." The woman chastised softly yet firmly. "It's a good thing, I thought of making some broth for you earlier so it's finished just in time."

Elizabeth had the decency to look ashamed. "I'm sorry, Cook."

The older woman harrumphed but the slight twitch of her lips revealed that she was not really mad. "Do not 'Cook' me, Miss Lizzy. It's 'Mrs. Hurley' to you until you finish this meal."

"Yes, Mrs. Hurley."

"Good." With that, the older woman placed the tray on the table and left them alone. While he knew it was an uncommon relationship that Elizabeth had with the servants, Darcy could not fault his beloved for being close with them. It was obvious that they care about her well-being and Darcy was only too happy to see that, especially after knowing how her family had been treating her.

When he saw that Elizabeth was trying to get up, Darcy was quick to assist her in a sitting position.

"Thank you, my Lord." She told him before looking at Anne and Richard. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this. I'm afraid I haven't been feeling well lately and I apologise for all the trouble I caused."

"It's alright Lizzy," Anne smiled. "We're happy to help, but I'm afraid that we needed to head back to Netherfield now. My companion, Mrs. Jenkinson, is waiting for me."

"You should know Mrs. Jenkinson, Miss Elizabeth," Richard mock whispered in a conspiring manner, "She could rival Mrs. Winters at keeping an eye on their charges."

Darcy did not like the idea of leaving Elizabeth so soon after she fainted but he also knew that they needed to get back to Netherfield. However, putting into mind that Elizabeth could rest properly without visitors, he seconded Anne's words. "I'm afraid that Anne is right, Miss Elizabeth."

"Then I will see you out, if that's the case."

Before Elizabeth could attempt to stand up, Digby held her back. "If it's alright, I will see them out, Miss Lizzy."

"I agree with her, Lizzy." Anne said. "It will make us feel better if you try to gain your strength first before doing anything else."

Sighing, Elizabeth conceded, "Very well."

With that, the three cousins curtsied and bowed. Darcy let his cousins walked a few steps ahead of him before he turned back to Elizabeth. "Take care, Miss Elizabeth. I hope you feel better when I see you tomorrow." He then took her hand and kissed her knuckles softly before bowing one last time.

**-p&p-**

Once outside, the three cousins did not immediately board the carriage. They originally planned to ride their horses for this visit, hoping that they could ride around Oakham Mount again with Elizabeth, but Mrs. Jenkinson put a stop to those plans.

Anne's companion told them that she was instructed by Lady Catherine not to let Anne exert herself. And seeing that for some reason, they knew that Anne had gone riding with them last Saturday, today's visit had to be done by carriage. The only upside was that Mrs. Jenkinson allowed them to go without her.

By chance, when they explained the situation to Elizabeth earlier at the beginning of their visit, she had informed them that even if they had brought their horses, she would not be available to ride with them for she was feeling a little under the weather. If only Darcy knew that she would faint later in the day, then he would've stopped Anne from prying Elizabeth with questions about her family.

He felt so anxious and helpless as Elizabeth lay unmoving on the settee. The last time Darcy remembered feeling that way was when his mother was about to give birth to Georgiana. He was only thankful that he appeared composed in front of everyone else, despite panicking inside. And although his worry had subsided ever since Elizabeth's eyes fluttered open, he was still uneasy at the thought that it could happen again – and that time, without him by her side.

So when he was sure no one could overhear their conversation, Darcy bombarded Elizabeth's Abigail with questions. "What do you think caused her to faint? What your Cook mean by Elizabeth not eating properly? Will you send a note to Netherfield in case something like this happens again?"

"Easy, cousin," Richard said, placing an arm on his shoulder. "How could Digby answer your question when you are not giving her time to respond?"

Darcy took a deep breath to calm down but did not reply and looked at Digby instead, waiting for her answer.

"It all started last Sunday. Miss Lizzy skipped breakfast and ate very little during luncheon and dinner. When Monday came, she only ate a slice of bread for breakfast and when she received news from Mrs. Gardiner about the fire in their old warehouse, Miss Lizzy was too worried to eat her luncheon and dinner. When she went to Longbourn last night she was so upset that she didn't even bother touching her breakfast this morning. I think the tea delivered earlier was the only thing that filled her stomach since yesterday's bread."

"Do you know why she was not eating?"

"I suspect that it had something to do with her worry for the Gardiners, your Lordship." Digby answered. "But I think that she was also having nightmares, so aside from her lack of meals, she was also lacking sleep."

"Nightmares?"

"Yes, Colonel, Miss Lizzy usually acts subdued whenever she had a nightmare. It was how she was acting these past few days. You see, Miss Lizzy was usually more anxious around this time of year, especially near the nineteenth of November which is today."

The cousins nodded in understanding.

Elizabeth really did feel responsible for her brother's death, so much so that nightmares seemed like a natural occurrence by this time of year. Darcy wanted to march back inside and tell Elizabeth that it was not her fault over and over again until she believed him. It then occurred to him that it was Mrs. Bennet's repeated blames and accusations that made Elizabeth believe her. Not for the first time that day, Darcy felt his ire rise at Mrs. Bennet.

Forcing himself to calm down, he looked back at Digby. "Miss Elizabeth told me you are her friend. That means she listens to you?"

"Most times, yes."

"Then here's what I suggest you do."

**-p&p-**

About half an hour after the cousins' departure and mere moments after Elizabeth finished her meal, the Lucases came to call on her. This shouldn't really be surprising to Lizzy. Lady Lucas and Charlotte would often spend this day on convincing her that her brother's death was not her fault. However, with many things on her mind these past few days, she had forgotten that the Lucas family would be coming.

"How are you, Eliza?" Charlotte asked, taking a seat beside her. "I am so sorry that I didn't get the chance to visit you last week. Blake, that is, Colonel Forster, invited me to meet his sister – who was visiting a friend near Meryton – earlier last week." Charlotte coloured a little and Lizzy couldn't help but smile at her friend. She couldn't believe that at one point, Charlotte had declared herself not being a romantic.

"It is alright, Charlotte." Lizzy assured her. "I am happy for you. But tell me, how was your visit?"

For the next quarter of an hour, Charlotte told Elizabeth about Miss Forster who was a sensible woman of two and twenty and how they got along just fine. Elizabeth, in the middle of Charlotte's explanation, couldn't help but tease her friend and asked if Miss Forster would be an ideal sister. While Charlotte replied calmly that any woman would be lucky to have a sister like Miss Forster, the blush on her face told Elizabeth what she needed to know.

Their conversation about Miss Forster would have been longer but once Lizzy realised that they were ignoring everyone else, she was quick to remedy the situation by asking Lady Lucas how they have been this past week. Their conversation flowed from then on until Lady Lucas looked at her sternly. "You have stalled enough time on our conversations, Eliza. Now, tell us honestly, how have you been, dear?"

For the second time that day, Elizabeth found herself opening up. However, this time, it was not about her past but about her nightmares.

Afterwards, John and Maria tried to lighten her mood by telling her different anecdotes that happened during their visit to Miss Forster for they had both accompanied their elder sister. Charlotte, on the other hand, gave Lizzy the new book that she had bought for her.

And while Lizzy did feel a little better because of the siblings' effort, Lady Lucas and Sir William were still not content. Glancing at each other, they made a silent agreement to write to Madeline and Edward Gardiner once they went home. The Gardiners might be protecting Eliza from outside forces but they could do nothing with Eliza's mind and emotions. There was only one way to help her...

It was time for Eliza to find out the truth.

* * *

**[1]** I don't know if the first aid we do now for unconscious people are used by people two hundred years ago but maybe some of them did. Anne was a sickly child so I think it's reasonable that she try the treatments she saw. Anyway, according to my research… if someone faints: Position the person on his or her back. If there are no injuries and the person is breathing, raise the person's legs above heart level — about 12 inches (30 centimetres) — if possible. Loosen belts, collars or other constrictive clothing.

Also, they don't have smelling salts because it's all at Longbourn for Mrs. Bennet's nerves hahaha.

* * *

**Poor Lizzy, she's an emotional mess. But she had to be or else she would not have opened up to the cousins _this_ easily. Remember, Lizzy's been keeping her thoughts about her situation for so long, of course she wasn't going to confide to someone with a level-headed mind – even if it were to Darcy and his cousins.**

**What do you think, seeing as the three cousins now know how the Bennets treated Lizzy? BTW, take note that Lizzy never mentioned about her inheritance from her Grandmother. What about the odd expressions Anne and Richard got when they looked at the miniature of Lizzy's grandparents? Also, now you know why Mrs. Bennet hates Lizzy... or do you?**

**Tune in for the next chapter!**

* * *

**To PassinBy: I can't answer your questions without spoiling the story but the next chapters will answer your questions one by one. I like your theory. We'll see in the upcoming chapters if you're close to the truth or not ;)**

**To Colleen S: We'll see if Lizzy is going to stand up and say no to Mrs. Bennet's demands in marrying Mr. Collins or not, soon.**

**To Pp: I'm glad you love it and that you think my English is wonderful. My first language is Filipino.**

**To Els: I'm glad you love it :)**

**To Guest: I don't know whether to be flattered or offended that you think I managed to destroy one of the greatest female characters in literature, but Elizabeth's reasons for still caring about Jane will be revealed in the next chapters. I respect your opinion though and if you don't like the characters or this story because there's too much 'fake drama' then it's okay to stop reading. We all have our preferences and we are entitled to our own opinions. Also, I know that Darcy having a title wouldn't really keep them apart – nothing could keep Lizzy and Darcy apart – the thing is, it would make it harder for them. In the original, Darcy didn't even have a title and he still struggled to accept his love for Lizzy.**


	12. Chapter 12

**To Bidisha Das, you said the anticipation is killing you and I don't want to cause any harm to my readers so… here it is :)**

**I was planning to update earlier but I struggled in deciding what I should write. Remember, this is a WIP and while the plot I have in mind has a general point, there are still many ways on how I could reach that point.**

**Recap:**

**Chapter 18 – Lizzy was an emotional mess as she opened up to the cousins; said cousins were shocked and angered at the Bennets' behaviour, Darcy was ready to comfort his beloved, and Lizzy fainted. Let's find out the next move of the cousins, shall we?**

**Again, thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites – they make my day! Do continue to tell me what you think in the comments.**

**Without further ado, enjoy reading :)**

* * *

Back at Netherfield, the cousins waited until Mrs. Jenkinson chose to retire, so it was late in the evening when they found themselves sneaking into the guest room that was supposed to be for Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

On the carriage ride on their way back to Netherfield, Darcy had already questioned Anne and Richard about the odd looks he had seen on their faces upon seeing the miniatures of Elizabeth's grandparents. "You've seen them before haven't you, or at least their portraits." Darcy had guessed.

"Not _them_, cousin," Anne had replied, shaking her head. "_Her _– I had seen another miniature of Claire Bennet before today."

"When?"

"The time when Richard and I unlocked my mother's hidden box. It doesn't just contain letters Mama exchanged with my father. There were some other things too, like a miniature of a woman." Anne had explained. "When I saw the miniature of Lizzy's grandparents, I thought that her grandmother looked like the woman in Mama's box, though I can't be sure. What do you think, Richard?"

"I suspected the same thing."

"Then let's take a look into Aunt Catherine's hidden box." Darcy had suggested. "Perhaps, the answer is there."

Darcy had guessed right. The answer was, indeed, in Lady Catherine's hidden chest. It only took a short time to find – still placed under the bed where Anne and Richard had left it– but a longer time to open. Fortunately, Richard was good at picking locks. Upon opening it, they were greeted with a ton of letters and some trinkets.

The miniature they were looking for was buried deeper but once they found it, they also found the answer to their questions. However, the answer only led them to more questions. While the woman in the small circular bronze frame they found in Lady Catherine's box did look exactly like Elizabeth's grandmother, their colouring was different. Unlike Elizabeth's miniature whereas her grandmother sported the distinctive hair colour Elizabeth have, the woman in Lady Catherine's box, however, had light brown hair. This made the cousins looked at each other in puzzlement.

"Let's head to the library," Anne suggested. "Mrs. Jenkinson is back and if Mama asked her to find something in her room, we'd be caught."

At that, Darcy pocketed the miniature in his coat and helped his cousins rearranged the letters and trinkets in the chest. Once than, they placed it back under the bed and quickly exited the room.

They were wise to follow Anne's advice; for not more than a minute after they closed the door, they saw Mrs. Norton, Netherfield's Housekeeper, in the hallway. Upon seeing them, the woman curtseyed and bid them a good evening. The cousins, in return, greeted her as well before heading straight to the library.

The room might not be filled with books that Darcy liked but it was located far from the bedrooms and drawing room of the house, which was convenient for discussing things privately. Not waiting for Richard to close the door, Darcy took out the two miniatures hidden in the pockets of his coat.

The first one was the one they had just taken from Lady Catherine's box. The other was the one that Elizabeth had shown them earlier. The cousins managed to convince Digby to lend it to them, but only if they returned it first thing on the morrow.

"Perhaps they are twins or sisters?" Anne asked out loud, still looking at the almost identical pictures.

"Or," began Richard, "they could be the same person. What say you Darce?" He looked at Darcy. "You're the better artist among us three."

Darcy remained silent, studying both paintings intently. Finally he sighed, "I don't know."

"Well, if we cannot figure this one out, then let's try to answer our other questions." Richard suggested, patting Darcy on the shoulder before walking towards the shelves and distracted himself by looking for a book. "Let's start with the Gardiners not letting Miss Elizabeth roam London. There must be another reason why the Gardiners would keep Miss Elizabeth from the outside world and it could not only be because of her Aunt's wariness." Richard stated, stopping his search for a book by the shelves as he tried to come up with possible explanations.

Anne nodded and took a seat on a nearby settee. "I agree. Perhaps there are other people after them besides the elder and the younger Mr. Price?"

"But what if there is no Mr. Price?" Darcy asked, placing the miniatures back in his pockets before turning to his cousins, making Anne and Richard looked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean, Ashbourne?"

As an answer to Anne's inquiry, Darcy pulled out a letter from the inner pocket of his coat and placed it on the table. "I received that earlier, a few hours after we returned."

Without a word, Anne unfolded it and read its contents eagerly. Richard immediately went to stand behind the settee to read it alongside her.

_Lord Ashbourne,_

_After reading your last letter, I have started an investigation on finding this Mr. Price, who, according to you is the son of a former business partner of an Earl. You have included in your missive that the elder Mr. Price had been exposed by a Mr. Edward Gardiner which resulted to him being thrown into prison. You have also written that about two months ago the elder Mr. Price had died from a heart attack, causing the younger Mr. Price to threaten the Gardiners._

_I do not know where you have gotten this information from, your Lordship, but trust me when I say that it is mostly false. While it is true that Mr. Edward Gardiner did tell the Earl of Matlock that he was being deceived by one of his business associates, the name of the associate was Mr. Ralph Appleton; and while he had become significantly poorer after being exposed, he was never sent prison._

_As for Mr. Price, the only one I found with the same name was a young lad – Jean Price – who was thrown in for stealing some bread. Other than him, there is no one with the same name._

_I will continue my search, your Lordship, but I do not think that Mr. Price is what you should be looking for._

_Your obedient servant,_

_Matthew Bradshaw_

"My father was _the_ Earl, all along?" Richard asked to no one in surprise. He thought that his father only encouraged him to invest with the Gardiners because Edward Gardiner was well-known and had a good reputation. Richard didn't know that there was some history between them.

Darcy ignored Richard's statement and began pacing by the fireplace. "I told you, I will write to my men after you two informed me that the Gardiners – and by extension, Eli… Miss Elizabeth – was being threatened by a Mr. Price, remember?" When Anne nodded, he continued. "That same night I related everything to Bradshaw, one of my most trusted men, in a letter."

Having recovered from his surprise, Richard looked at Darcy. "And I know Matthew Bradshaw, he is not just efficient in his job but loyal too."

"But if this Mr. Bradshaw is telling the truth, then someone must be lying to the Gardiners about the threat." Anne concluded.

Richard shook his head sadly at Anne. "Or, it could be that the Gardiners are lying about the threat."

Anne's brows furrowed. "But why would they do such a thing? Why would they lie to Lizzy?"

"To keep her from leaving the house," Darcy answered. As much as he wanted to give the Gardiners the benefit of the doubt, they lied about the name of the person and that was enough for Darcy to be wary of them.

"But why?"

Richard moved to sit down beside her. "That's what we still don't know, Anne."

**-p&p-**

After dismissing his valet, Darcy lay tiredly on the bed and stared at the cream-coloured ceiling as he recalled how his day went.

He had wanted to find out about Elizabeth's relationship with her family so badly but now that he knew about it, he was still at lost at what to do. Elizabeth was still not of age, which meant that she would still be under her parents' control for three years more.

Now that he thought about it, despite being weary of her Gardiner relations, they were wise to let Elizabeth stay with them half the time, every year. Even Elizabeth's grandmother was wise to move her to the Longbourn Dower House with servants that cared for her.

The only thing he could do, if he really wanted to take Elizabeth away from her horrible family, was to marry her.

Darcy was moved at Elizabeth's admission in wanting to marry for the deepest of love. As soon as they have helped Elizabeth with these issues concerning her family, he decided that he would finally make his move and start wooing her. And when he succeeded at winning her heart, Darcy would make sure that she would want for nothing – be it material things or affections. However, the thought of his father put a stop on daydreaming.

He had never really considered what his father would say about the situation, seeing as he had been preoccupied in finding out what was going on between Elizabeth and her family, but now that he thought about it, Darcy was unsure. His father had always been strict with him and Darcy knew that his father expected him to marry someone with title, fortune and connexions.

Would his father be disappointed in him when he chose to marry Elizabeth?

Darcy closed his eyes and banished all thoughts about his family and their approval. Now was not the time to think about that. Instead he focused on thinking about the mystery surrounding the Gardiners.

What were they hiding?

**-p&p-**

The first thing that Elizabeth saw once she opened her eyes was a vase filled with a beautiful arrangement of pink, yellow, purple, and white flowers, on the top of the nightstand beside her bed. She smiled and breathed in the fragrant aroma that was dominating the room.

After stretching her limbs, Lizzy laid back comfortably on her pillow. Turning her to glance at the window, she was surprised that the sun was already up. That meant that she woke up later than her usual wont. Now that she thought about it, she was able to sleep peacefully last night, without nightmares for the first time in a couple of days.

But how could that be? Seeing as yesternight was the exact day of her brother's death, she expected her dreams to be the worse. Instead, she happened to be well rested. Not that she was complaining…

Looking back, perhaps it was Alexa's doing.

Once the Lucases had left, Alexa had persuaded her to eat some berries and drink a cup of chamomile tea. While she was doing that, her Abigail had drawn a bath for her with warm water mixed with some sweet-scented oils. After Alexa had assisted her to her nightgown, Cook had brought her soup and a warm glass of milk to enjoy. She fell asleep not long after that.

It had been an exhausting day, after all.

She couldn't believe she had opened up like that. She had never felt more vulnerable than sharing her thoughts and feelings to the three cousins yesterday but at the same time, she felt lighter now that it was out in the open.

A part of her felt mortified that her new-found friends had seen her in such a state and another part felt grateful for their understanding and support. She had never thought that she'd experience such kindness on people she had recently just met.

Before Elizabeth could continue on her musings, Alexa entered her room. At the sight of her Abigail, Elizabeth put herself in a sitting position to greet her friend properly. "Good morning, Alexa."

"Good morning, Miss Lizzy." Alexa smiled at her before placing a tray on the side of her bed.

Lizzy furrowed her brows. "What's this?"

"Hot chocolate, Miss Lizzy and these," Alexa said, holding out the plate to her, "are your favourite cakes."

Despite her surprise and confusion – for why else would Mrs. Hurley cook different flavoured cakes at so early in the morning without any occasions? – Lizzy couldn't contain her smile. "Thank you, Alexa. I appreciate the thoughtful meals and the bath and the flowers. I know these were all you're doing."

Alexa only shook her head. "The credit belongs to the Marquess, Miss Lizzy. He noticed that you were not sleeping well so he suggested doing all these to help you rest better."

At the mention of the Marquess, Lizzy couldn't help but blush. The information that he was responsible for the 'special treatment' she had been receiving since yesterday afternoon made her face hotter. Even though her face was probably red by now, she still managed to reply. "That was very thoughtful of him."

Alexa only nodded, though Lizzy still caught a smug grin in her Abigail's face. "I will prepare your bath now, Miss Lizzy."

With that, Elizabeth was left alone with her thoughts and her favourite food – which were not a bad combination, if she was being honest.

Closing her eyes, Lizzy tried to remember yesterday in many details as possible as she savoured the first bite of the soft cake in her mouth. The moment she had started sobbing, Lord Ashbourne had immediately rushed to her side and took hold of her hand. He had also given her his handkerchief and helped her drink.

He, alongside with Anne and Colonel Fitzwilliam, had tried their best to comfort her and make her feel better but if she was completely honest, the feel of the Marquess hands enclosed with her had done the best job in soothing her.

While Elizabeth was no stranger to touches – for she was affectionate with her closest sisters and friends – yesterday was the first time she had felt a man's bare skin on her skin. It then occurred to her that neither she nor Lord Ashbourne was wearing gloves. The realisation made her open her eyes and she was thankful that she had already swallowed the last bits of her cake. Otherwise, she feared that she would've choked.

As she took a sip of her sweet beverage, a memory also came to front of her mind. Lord Ashbourne had called her by her Christian name alone… or perhaps she had only imagined it. Nevertheless, that still didn't change the truth that she had only let go of his hand when she announced that she was going to the kitchen. Did that mean that she was holding his hand all throughout her long narrative?

Such brazen behaviour, foolish girl!

Lizzy closed her eyes in mortification. What if she had made him uncomfortable? Upset, her fingers grab one slice of cake after another as her mouth munched it easily in frustration. She had already come to the conclusion that she liked him, but Lizzy wanted him first and foremost as a friend. She was afraid to lose that because of her budding feelings.

Taking another drink of the hot chocolate, Lizzy calmed her thoughts. He didn't hate her for it, did he? If she recalled correctly, at some points in their conversations he had tightened his grip on her hand in show of his support, had he not? He had also kissed her hand before leaving.

No, Lord Ashbourne was not offended at her impulsive actions. Lizzy finished breaking her fast with that thought in mind.

Starting today, she was determined to think more positive. Yesterday, if she was more like her normal self and was not feeling a little disoriented, then she was sure that she would never have spilled her story to the cousins. She was too afraid of people's judgement for that and more so at the fear that other people would agree to Mrs. Bennet's words.

But, alas, she had been too overwhelmed by everything that's happening that the moment Anne had asked her a question, words started tumbling out of her mouth. And now that it was over, she was glad that she had done it.

**-p&p-**

As soon as he finished breaking his fast, Darcy rode to the Dower House to bring Claire Bennet's miniature to Digby before Elizabeth noticed that it was missing. For the first time, he wasn't accompanied by Anne or Richard. Since Mrs. Jenkinson was back, Anne was under a watchful eye once again.

Darcy didn't want to return the miniature yet because he was still unable to solve the mystery behind it and his Aunt Catherine's almost identical miniature, but he knew that he needed to give it back. To his surprise and relief, he was told that Elizabeth was still asleep and that his suggestions had worked, because Elizabeth had always been an early riser.

He was glad that Elizabeth had finally gotten to rest and so he directed Boreas to head to Oakham Mount, where he sat down under Elizabeth's favourite tree as he watched his horse chew on the grass. With nothing to do but that, Darcy removed his hat, placed it on the space beside him, and let his mind wander.

Usually, his thoughts would go to his mother, the current Duchess of Derbyshire. Sometimes he would think about what would happen if his mother didn't left them for quite some time and other times he would think about how lucky he was to have a mother such as her – so kind and understanding. Darcy knew that his mother suspected that something was off with him (if her letters were any indication, she probably suspected him to be interested in a lady) since last month. In spite of this, his mother was yet to question him directly about it.

Thoughts of his mother would lead him to his little sister, Georgiana. Then, he would often worry if his father was being strict on her as he was with him. Now, however, that his mother was back with them permanently for more than five years now, he knew that he needn't worry about that. Following thoughts of his sister would be his father and his father's expectations.

To avoid himself from thinking of the latter, he would try to remember memories from his childhood. He had playmates before – not George Wickham – but the very first friends he made. He still remembered their nicknames and their games. He often wondered why they suddenly stopped playing but couldn't remember the reason.

While those where Fitzwilliam Darcy's habitual thoughts for years, Elizabeth Bennet had changed it all in a matter of two months. Now, as Darcy allowed his thoughts to consume him, it was not his family or his old friends that appeared first in his mind. Rather, it was a young lady with a pair of fine green eyes that dominated his thoughts.

How he admired her strength. If he had not seen her family's behaviour with his own two eyes, then he would find it hard to believe that Elizabeth had lived such a difficult life. Yet, she chose to be kind to the Bennets. How could one who suffered such circumstances still be able to laugh and smile in an unadulterated manner?

His mind drifted back to the day he handed her his letter. She had walked from the Dower House to Netherfield just to check on her elder sister, the same elder sister who had been mad at Elizabeth for ruining her chance at her first suitor. If the eldest Miss Bennet did not treat Elizabeth kindly, did that mean that her preference for Bingley was not genuine? Could it be that Mrs. Bennet was encouraging her eldest daughter to secure the affections of Bingley?

He could see the case plausible. Mrs. Bennet was, after all, throwing Elizabeth to Mr. Collin's path too – not that Darcy was going to let that happen. He also wasn't oblivious to the disappointment on Mrs. Bennet's face when she learned that Richard was already engaged to Anne and that Darcy didn't pay any attentions to her daughters, except Elizabeth. For his friend's sake, Darcy certainly hoped that it was not the case, for Bingley seemed more infatuated to Miss Bennet than to any other lady Darcy had seen him with before.

When his eyes noticed the sight of his gloved hands – which were clasped together with his elbows resting on his knees – from his peripheral view, he couldn't help but smile. He had held her bare hands yesterday… for about an hour and he also got to carry her and hole her close for a moment! Granted, she might not have been fully aware of both things happening, and the second one did not happen in the best circumstances, Elizabeth fainting and all, but still… Darcy knew he was going to treasure those memories.

As if his thoughts had summoned her, Darcy could almost see her riding on her horse towards him. However, instead of sitting side-saddle, like she was when she showed Oakham Mount to him and his cousins, she was sitting astride.

Once she was only a few feet from him, she patted Apollo and Boreas on the head before walking in his direction and letting the horse eat grass. "Good morning, Lord Ashbourne."

It was only when he heard her voice that Darcy realised that she was real and not a product of his imagination.

Immediately, Darcy stood up from the large root he was sitting on and bowed. "Good morning, Miss Elizabeth." Straightening himself, he followed his greeting with a question. "I hope you are well."

"Yes, I am well." Elizabeth smiled, and then almost shyly she added, "I believe a big part of the reason why I rested so well was because of your suggestions to Alexa, my Lord."

Darcy nodded. "I am glad it helped. I was worried about you when you fainted so I thought a good sleep would help improve your health along with tempting you with your favourite food to eat."

Elizabeth laughed at this. "Yes, I was quite surprise why I had different cakes and hot chocolate for breakfast and now, when I said that I was planning to ride outside, Cook gave me a jar of biscuits to eat." She held up the basket that Darcy didn't notice she was holding. "Would you like some?"

"I'd be happy to share it with you, Miss Elizabeth."

With a smile at his reply, Elizabeth walked passed him and sat on the thick root where his hat was placed and where he had been sitting earlier. "I think it'd be more comfortable to eat sitting rather than standing."

Taking that as an invitation, Darcy moved to sit next to her, his hat and her basket leaving a proper amount of space between them. "I am glad that you are able to leave the Dower House this morning." He said as she removed the small piece of cloth covering the basket.

"I am too," she said bringing up a glass jar full of biscuits in her lap and began to twist the lid to open it. "Mrs. Winters is still in London with my Aunt and Uncle to assist them and I will take all the freedom I can get. While it was nice riding with you, Anne and the Colonel, I confessed that I miss roaming around Hertfordshire by myself. Alexa and Archie promised to give me at least thirty minutes to myself before they join me."

"I am sorry to intrude on your solitude, then." He said as he accepted a biscuit from her.

Elizabeth only laughed as she shook her head. "If I remember correctly, my Lord, I am the one who intruded on you."

"Then I suppose this biscuit will suffice to earn my forgiveness." He told her before taking a bite of the delicious treat.

She crossed her arms at him and narrowed her eyes playfully. "I'll have you know, my Lord, that you were sitting under my favourite tree and I didn't mean to impose myself upon you. Therefore, if there is anyone who should be asking for forgiveness, then it is you."

"Me?!" Darcy asked in mock offense before turning his head and raising his nose up in a haughty manner. "I'll have you know that I am the Marquess of Ashbourne, Madam."

Elizabeth only raised a brow at her in challenge, though her eyes shone with amusement. "And is that supposed to mean anything?"

"Yes," he answered arrogantly, "it means that biscuits cannot sway me to ask for your forgiveness. I can buy as many of them as I want, after all." He paused then, forgoing his pompous role and looking at her directly in the eye. "But since I have offended a beautiful lady with fine green eyes for stealing her favourite tree, then I humbly ask for your forgiveness, Madam."

When Elizabeth blushed, Darcy couldn't help but smile.

"Do you apologise like that to every lady with fine green eyes that you have offended, my Lord?"

"No," Darcy replied with a shake of his head. "As far as I know Miss Elizabeth, there is only one lady of my acquaintance who possessed fine green eyes."

"What about other colours, then?"

"No other pair of eyes could compare to this particular lady, Madam, no matter what the colour."

"Very well, Lord Ashbourne, since you asked for my forgiveness _and_ fed my vanity quite excessively, then I shall forgive you." With that, she handed him another biscuit, which he eagerly took.

"As long as you continue to feed me such sweet treats then I shall continue to feed your vanity, Miss Elizabeth."

With that, the two of them spent the next hour laughing together and conversing of different subjects like they did back in London. Darcy feared not for their reputation because he knew that they were not alone. Jacobs and Carson were somewhere near the vicinity. Digby, with one of Elizabeth's footman, had also arrived a quarter of an hour after Elizabeth did and were taking care of the horses, which were a few yards away from them.

Once they finished the jar of biscuits, Elizabeth asked him if he would like to accompany her in visiting Longbourn's tenants. Apparently, Mrs. Hurley had made more than enough cakes and biscuits for all of them in the house, so Elizabeth wanted to visit the children and share the treats with them.

"I'd be happy to." When he noticed that her smile was accompanied with a light blush, Darcy felt somewhat triumphant. Perhaps she was starting to feel for him too?

Darcy continued to watch her silently as she handed her basket to Digby and talk to the footman. When she turned around to face him, she ran a hand to Boreas' mane before smirking at him. "Shall we see who gets there first, Lord Ashbourne?"

Before Darcy could realise what she meant, Elizabeth was already mounted on Apollo cantering away from him. Shaking his head fondly, Darcy grabbed Boreas' reins and they galloped after her. Darcy was surprised that he and Elizabeth both arrived at their destination at the same time. He knew himself to be a very fine horseman and if Elizabeth could _almost_ beat him in a race – for Darcy still believed that they were only tied up because she got a head start – then that only meant that she was skilled in her horsemanship as well.

"That was a good race, Miss Elizabeth," he smiled at her. "May I ask who taught you to ride?"

"Why, it was my Grandma Claire, my Lord." Elizabeth answered fondly. "I didn't really like it at first, preferring to walk than sit atop of a horse, but she told me that it was a necessity. I believe she made me sit on her gelding before I turned five and walked me around Longbourn. Apollo," she patted her cream-coloured horse fondly, "was a gift from her on my seventh birthday. When she died, I was taught by my Uncle Gardiner, Mr. Hill and John Lucas."

"Ah, so many teachers."

"Yes, I believe it was one of my grandmother's wish for me to become a really good horsewoman for all my teachers told me that Grandma Claire asked them to teach me." With a laugh, she added, "Of course, they probably regret it by now that I can outrun them all."

"Did they teach you to ride astride?" Darcy asked, as Boreas continued to move them in a slow pace.

"Yes, and it was a particular request of my grandmother." Elizabeth answered. "To be honest, I prefer riding this way. I am very thankful that my Aunt had my riding habits modified to help me ride this way."

Darcy, getting uncomfortable at the subject of clothing, quickly glanced around to change the subject. Luckily for him, Miss Mary and Miss Kitty seemed to be heading their way. '_Good.'_ Darcy thought. As much as he enjoyed his moments alone with Elizabeth, he was still a young man and the conversation they just had with her clothing was proving to be a bad idea. How was her riding habit modified? Is she wearing breeches underneath, hugging her strong legs?

He silently groaned at the thought. Perhaps leaving Netherfield without Richard or Anne in tow was a bad idea after all.

**-p&p-**

"Lizzy!" At the sight of her younger sisters, Elizabeth couldn't help but got off Apollo's back and ran towards them, opening her arms in a welcoming embrace. It had only been a couple of days but it felt like an eternity since she had last seen them.

"Kitty, Mary!" she exclaimed, smiling at them. "What are you doing here?"

"We came to check on Mrs. Drury with Mr. Jones." Mary said, once she pulled out of their hug.

"Her husband told us that she was feeling sick but it turns out she was with child." Kitty added excitedly.

Lizzy grinned at the news. "That's great!" She knew that Mr. and Mrs. Drury had been married for almost five years now and both wished dearly for a child. Now, their wish had come true and Elizabeth was truly happy for them.

"Miss Mary, Miss Kitty." The sisters' reunion was interrupted by a deep voice and Lizzy couldn't believe that she almost forgot about Lord Ashbourne. It seemed that since she had been lost in her own world after seeing her sisters because when she glanced behind, both Apollo and Boreas were already tied to a nearby tree with Alexa and Archie feeding them apples.

Lizzy watched and frowned as her sisters curtsied and greeted the Marquess stiffly. It seemed that they have not quite forgiven the Marquess yet for his rude behaviour at the Assembly.

Wanting to lighten the mood, Lizzy smiled up at Lord Ashbourne and told him the good news. "My sisters have just informed me that Mrs. Drury is with child, my Lord."

"That is good news, indeed." He said with a light upturned of his lips. The scrutinising looks her sisters were giving him must've made him uncomfortable. "I see that Master Abbots is playing with the other children. If you will excuse me, I would like to check on him."

With a bow, Lord Ashbourne walked away from them and headed towards the children who were playing a couple of yards away from them.

Kitty furrowed her brows. "Why did he know Michael Abbots, Lizzy?"

Mary squinted behind her spectacles. "How come he knew Mrs. Drury?"

"I have visited our tenants a few days ago with Miss de Bourgh, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Lord Ashbourne."

Mary set her lips in a firm line. "Are you with him today?"

Lizzy nodded. "Yes, I encountered him at Oakham Mount and asked him to join me. He was very fond of little Michael." She gestured to where the children were running away from Lord Ashbourne as the latter tried to catch them. Lizzy could tell he was purposely slowing his speed at catching them. If he wanted, he could catch the little ones any time.

"He doesn't seem very bad right now," Kitty said skeptically. "Did he apologise for his words at the Assembly?"

"Yes, he did and I know he did not mean it." Elizabeth found herself smiling softly as she recalled his letter. "Now, would you try to be nice to him?" When it was obvious to Elizabeth that her sisters were still doubtful, she added, "You can decide after you get to know him better. Let me fetch my basket from Alexa first and then we'll play with the children, shall we?"

Though Mary and Kitty were a little reluctant with her suggestion, they did follow her lead and walked towards the children once she had her basket in hand. By the time they got there, the game was almost over and Lord Ashbourne was sweaty and panting a little.

Once they were done playing, Elizabeth declared that she had brought them treats. Before she could open her baskets, however, Lord Ashbourne asked the children to follow him to a nearby well so they could wash their hands first before eating. When they got back, the children lined up and eagerly received the cakes and cookies from Elizabeth, Kitty, and Mary.

Lord Ashbourne was at the end of the line and by the time he reached her, he said: "I believe you are supposed to give me biscuits and cakes, fair lady."

Elizabeth laughed. "You already had your share of them, my Lord."

"But I thought we had a deal." At her raised brow, he explained, "I'll feed your vanity and you'll feed me treats."

"So your compliments are untruthful, is that it?" She crossed her arms. "You just want to eat more biscuits."

In an instant, his face turned serious. "I assure you that my words are true. And perhaps we could change our deal. Instead of feeding me biscuits every time I feed your vanity, all you have to do is accept my compliments and believe it."

Before Elizabeth could think of a reply, Jane emerged from the path to Longbourn and greeted them all before addressing Mary and Kitty. "Mama has been looking for the two of you. You have been gone for over an hour and I believe that is quite enough time outside this morning."

Elizabeth could see that Mary and Kitty didn't want to leave just yet, but they all knew that it would be better to obey their mother. Especially since today was only a day after Mrs. Bennet's beloved son had died.

"I will see you again soon." Lizzy assured her sisters with a small smile.

After a brief parting hug and curtsies, Kitty and Mary followed Jane towards Longbourn and Lizzy watched her sisters disappear from her view sadly. Once they had gone, she looked up only to find Lord Ashbourne staring at her with a stern expression.

"Is there something wrong, my Lord?"

Lord Ashbourne shifted his gaze back at the direction where her sisters went to before looking back at her again. "Forgive me for prying, Miss Elizabeth, but may I ask if your eldest sister is always like that?"

"Like what?"

"Treat you with… polite civility?"

She nodded. "Yes, Jane is the epitome of decorum."

For a split second, Elizabeth realised that the children were now gone and that they had been called back to the house by their mothers (it was almost time for luncheon, after all) while she was busy watching her sisters depart. She was secretly glad that it was the case for she could feel that she did not like where their conversation was going.

He frowned. "Even if she accused you of –"

She held out a palm to him before he could continue. "Please, do not remind me of it anymore, my Lord. May I ask where these questions lead to?"

"I've been thinking," he began, "Since your sister can feign politeness in her encounters to you, perhaps she was not really interested in Bingley as Bingley thought."

Hurt, Lizzy looked up at him with pleading eyes. "You think she's…" She swallowed before saying the dreadful word, "…feigning politeness to me?"

With furrowed brows he asked, "Doesn't she?"

"No," she breathed.

Her answer sounded weak so she tried again, this time with a firm voice and a defiant look in her eye. "No."

"Miss Elizabeth," He sighed, looking at her tenderly and speaking softly. "As much as it pains me to say this to you, perhaps you it's time you open your eyes to the truth…"

"Truth?" She echoed, clenching her fists on her sides. "What truth? That no one cares about me?"

Lord Ashbourne shook his head, his gloved hands reaching out to her cladded ones. "You know that is not what I meant, Miss Elizabeth I don't want to see you hurting." He lowered himself a little to be in eye level with her. "But you have to let go of your false thoughts –"

She ripped her hands away from him. "False?!" With tears brimming in her eyes, she pointed at him, "You think that a sister who saved me from scalding water is feigning her politeness towards me and that I have conjured untrue thoughts about my family?"

* * *

**It wasn't too sappy, was it?**

**So, one: I'm sure we get Lizzy's point but she's prone to holding unto _good_ memories of the past. My Lizzy is taking the whole "Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure" thing into the highest level. Don't worry, she'll learn…**

**Two: The other characters weren't the way they were without reason. Even meanies have reasons too… and it would also be explained in the following chapters.**

**Three: If you are sick of Lizzy and Darcy getting all sweet then my advice to enjoy those kinds of moments before you lose them. A storm is coming. *evil laugh***

**Anyway, I hope you like how this story is going. Thank you for all the support and patience!**


	13. Chapter 13

**BTW, yes, it was intentional for Elizabeth to speak of herself in third person in this chapter in the first scene. I did that to show that she was separating herself to the little girl who suffered such an unfortunate circumstance and that she could tell it better using "little Lizzy" because the use of "I" is much more hurtful for her, at least in my perspective.**

**So, I know I've told you many times to "bear with me" and to those who did, thank you so much. I just wanted Lizzy and Darcy to become closer before the secrets were revealed because it would certainly affect them both. To show my gratitude for your patience, from this chapter onwards will be full of revelations. *cheers* I can only say that I'm sorry it took this long.**

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 12 – Lizzy and Darcy spent the morning together, they encountered Mary and Kitty, and there is more to Jane than meets the eye.**

* * *

Darcy flinched at Elizabeth's outburst but his voice was soft as he asked, "S-scalding water?"

"Why, yes, Lord Ashbourne," she raised her chin at him. "Jane saved a seven-year-old little Lizzy from boiling water. It was just a month after my seventh birthday, you see, when Grandma Claire went to the North to help Alexa Digby. How unfortunate it was that little Lizzy had a fever while her dear grandmother was away. So naturally, she did what any child would do – seek her parents for comfort. It was late at night that she sneaked out of the Dower House, passing all the sleeping servants, who were all exhausted from trying to break her fever. Her grandmother was informed of her condition but bad weather prevented her from returning home sooner."

His expression was torn between wanting her to stop talking and to continue. Offended at him for implying that her judgement was clouded by false hopes and, if she was being completely honest, hurt at the half-truth of his statement, she kept on talking. "Unluckily for little Lizzy, her Mama didn't care if she was sick. Mrs. Hill, who had seen her pitiable condition, was preparing a soup for little Lizzy that time, and when her Mama found out about it, she dragged little Lizzy back to the kitchen and was about to pour the pot of hot water on her if her elder sister hadn't pulled her back in time!"

Glaring at him she said, "Now, Lord Ashbourne, tell me that there is no hope for me. Tell me!" She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again. "I know that I'm grasping on the thinnest strands of hope, but can't I have something to look forward to? Don't you feel the same way about your father? That he might say of how proud he is at you, one day? If you are allowed to hope for the better, then can't I do the same? Is it wrong to still see some light in my situation?"

"No, of course not." he answered softly. "I'm sorry for assuming the worse but please know that I am only looking out for you…"

She nodded. "I understand. Please forgive me for my sudden outburst as well, my Lord. No one knew of that incident saved for Jane, myself and Mama. Jane helped me sneaked back at the estate after that happened."

"There is nothing to forgive, Miss Elizabeth." He assured her and lifter her gloved hand for a kiss.

She smiled lightly, "Thank you for understanding, my Lord."

Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him again. "May I please ask you a favour?"

"What is it?"

"Will you promise me not to interfere with Jane and Mr. Bingley? However she might've treated me, it doesn't affect whatever feelings she might have for your friend. I believe Mr. Bingley to be a good man and if he and Jane liked each other, then I'd be happy for them."

He sighed, "I promise to be fair in my judgement but that's as far as I can say, Miss Elizabeth."

She squeezed his hand. "Thank you."

"May I escort you back to your house?"

"Of course, my Lord."

Unbeknownst to the two retreating figures, Jane Bennet was hiding behind the bushes with tears in her eyes…

**-p&p-**

At night time that same day, in London, Edward Gardiner pulled out the hidden chest in his closet and unlocked it. Inside was a small dusty book that belonged to Claire Bennet and tucked within its pages was an old torn parchment with an almost illegible writings.

These were the list of people whom Lizzy should not encounter, for her own safety.

_Paxton_

_Sherwood_

_Thornton_

_Reed_

_Wesley_

_De Bourgh_

_Bradshaw_

_Darcy_

_Fitzwilliam_

The Gardiners did their best to hide Lizzy whenever she visited; always insisting that she wear a cloak, not letting her go anywhere except their house and the warehouse, and always having a footman to look after her.

Now, it seemed that Lady Catherine de Bourgh was on her way to finding Lizzy. But that was not going to happen. Edward trusted that Mrs. Winters would alert them immediately.

But then again, Sarah Winters was clueless about the specific people whom Lizzy should associate with. But despite this, Edward knew that Mrs. Winters would always report to them about Lizzy's new acquaintances. Nonetheless, perhaps it was time to double their guards on.

Tomorrow, Edward would tell Mrs. Winters.

**-p&p-**

Elizabeth had a peaceful and relaxing day yesterday – that must be the reason why she was having a most unpleasant time today. She knew that when her mother forced her to go to Longbourn today, it was because Mrs. Bennet wanted to throw her into Mr. Collins's way… But Lizzy didn't expect that her mother would use drastic measures to accomplish her goals.

Lizzy could only be thankful that even though Mama had pushed her into the drawing room and closed the door, Mr. Collins made sure that there was more than proper distance between them as he began a speech of why he couldn't think of Elizabeth in a potential match, but only after he stated the first three reasons why he was looking for a wife in the first place.

"My esteemed patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, advised me to search for a partner who will make me happy and who I can make happy in return. Her kind daughter, Miss Anne de Bourgh, I believe, is an acquaintance of yours, cousin. It was she who told me that we share very little interest and that we would not make a good match. Of course, Miss de Bourgh is wise beyond her years so I must concede to her advice. I do hope that you take no offense in this matter, cousin. I am only doing what I think would please me and the people who helped me."

After the verbosity of his speech, Mr. Collins tried to open the door, only to find out that it had been locked. He called out for help but it was of no use. When he grew tired, he settled on standing on the farthest corner of the room away from Lizzy. Not really comfortable staying alone in the room with Mr. Collins, despite his disinterest in her, Lizzy tried to open the door too and called for assistance. When that did not work, she also tried the same on the windows.

But it seemed that no one would help them so Lizzy tried using her hair pins to pick the lock, trying to remain calm despite the anxiety that was starting to creep in her veins. Now, she regretted making Alexa promise not to come with her and only follow her after an hour of her departure.

Unbeknownst to Elizabeth and Mr. Collins, this day had been planned by Mrs. Bennet most diligently. First, she made sure to send Lydia, Kitty, Mary and Jane to her sister, Mrs. Philips. Then, she sent Hill and every one of Longbourn's servants into different errands that would take them away from the estate for at least an hour and a half. That way, that pesky Lizzy's fate in becoming Mrs. Collins would be secure. Longbourn would still be theirs and she need to fear for the hedgerows. She and her family would not lose their home.

The matron smirked inwardly as she directed her husband to the drawing room. "See, Mr. Bennet? They are in there for more than half an hour!" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed by the door, gesturing at Lizzy, who was standing right in front of them, and Mr. Collins who was at the far corner of the room. "You must make them marry immediately!"

Mr. Collins was quick on his feet to explain. "Nothing happened behind the close doors, Cousin Bennet, I assure you. You see…" He then began telling a long narrative of how he found himself locked alone with the second Miss Bennet.

Miss Anne de Bourgh had asked him a favour not to choose Miss Elizabeth as his potential wife and Mr. Collins would grant her request. In fact, Mr. Collins was happy to grant Miss de Bourgh's wishes. It was such a small thing compared to what Lady Catherine had done for him.

His father, the elder Mr. Collins, was not really a good father to him. He received a blow for every wrong action he did. As a result, Mr. Collins learned to always throw good compliments to his father to at least, soften the punishments allotted to him. Despite this, he was still in a delicate condition, with a new bruise every day and his father denying him food from time to time. When he had encountered Lady Catherine on the farms near Rosings at that time, she had asked where he lived.

Even though he had left his father's care at the age of ten, Collins was still unsure of what had happened to him. He never asked either. All that he knew was that Lady Catherine visited their house in the afternoon that same day that he had met her and took him under his wing. Lady Catherine ensured that he received proper education and when the old curate had died, Lady Catherine gave him the vacant position.

He owed it to Lady Catherine, this new life he was experiencing and by extension, her daughter. Unlike his father, Mr. Collins felt that the de Bourghs were very deserving of his compliments and he always made sure to be vocal about praising them.

"How can we know that you are telling the truth, Mr. Collins?" Mrs. Bennet asked. "You were alone with her for _more than_ half an hour!" She turned to her husband. "You must make them marry, Mr. Bennet!"

"But nothing happened, Mama!" Lizzy almost screamed in frustration. "You locked us here! This was your intention."

Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists, trying to keep herself calm. Though a part of her knew that Mrs. Bennet, her mother didn't care about her anymore, she still felt betrayed that she would casually throw her in some man's path. What if Mr. Collins didn't act the way he did? What if he was a man who would force himself upon her? What kind of mother would – she didn't bother to finish her thought… deep down, as far as Lizzy can clearly remember, Mrs. Bennet hadn't really been a mother to her.

Of all the things she had done to her, Lizzy shouldn't really be surprise. She could almost laugh mirthlessly at her current situation. Why was she still giving Mrs. Bennet the benefit of the doubt after everything she's done to her? This was what Lord Ashbourne was telling her, wasn't it? While it was alright to hope, she did it so unrealistically that it was only doing her more harm.

Was this to be her fate for being so childish and indulging herself in unattainable fantasies about her mother and her family?

Lizzy shook her head and tried to focus on the conversation. Whatever disappointment she felt about the actions of Mrs. Bennet, she brought it to herself alone. She should've learned to face the truth earlier.

With a determined expression, Lizzy raised her chin in defiance at the Bennet matriarch, not wincing even as the woman's voice pierced her ears. "I did no such thing, girl!" Mrs. Bennet narrowed her eyes. "Perhaps this was your plan all along, to corner Mr. Collins and use your arts and allurements. Now you blame me? I order you to force them to marry, Mr. Bennet!"

Both Elizabeth and Mr. Collins replied simultaneously.

"I already explained that nothing happened, Cousin Bennet!"

"I assure you Madam, Sir, there was no misconduct!"

**-p&p-**

When she heard raised voices despite being at the entrance of the house, Lady Sharon Lucas knew that something was wrong. She just hoped that Kitty and Mary didn't warn her too late. It was early morning when those two girls came to her door panting saying that they sneaked out from their Aunt Philips because they think that their Mama was planning something about Mr. Collins and Eliza but they did not know what.

Naturally, Lady Lucas listened to her instincts and decided to check on Longbourn. Charlotte, who heard her conversation with Mary and Kitty, accompanied her as well. On their way there, they encountered the de Bourgh carriage. Upon finding out where they were going, Miss de Bourgh offered them a ride. Hesitantly, Lady Lucas accepted.

Now, standing in front of Longbourn she was starting to regret her decision. If something is amiss, she didn't need Miss de Bourgh, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Lord Ashbourne seeing them as well. _'What's done is done,'_ she told herself.

With a deep breath, Lady Lucas smiled at her companions and told them that she'd go in first, but not without glancing at Charlotte with a look that said '_Control the situation here and I'll handle what's going on inside.'_ At the subtle nod of her daughter, Lady Lucas entered the house.

"What is going on here?" She asked loud enough to get the attention of everyone in the room. When she saw Eliza with clenched fists and was near in tears, Lady Lucas immediately pulled the young lady to her side and stepped slightly in front of her before raising a brow at Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. "If you've done anything to harm Lizzy, may I remind you that Claire –"

"Why, I haven't done anything to her." Mrs. Bennet rolled her eyes. "If anything, she had done this to herself and I was protecting her. That's why I brought Mr. Bennet here with me, to make Mr. Collins take the right actions and marry her."

"Marry –"

Lady Lucas's exclamation was cut off by a stiff Jane Bennet. "They do not have to marry, Mama. I was here in the same room the whole time and I didn't see anything untoward happened."

Mrs. Bennet looked at her eldest daughter in disbelief. "Surely, Mr. Collins threatened you to hide the truth. There is no need to hide it, Jane, dear. Mr. Collins will marry –"

"Mama, I speak of the truth."

Speechless but outraged, Mrs. Bennet marched towards her room. Lady Lucas heard Mr. Bennet muttered something under his breath and walked away with a shake of his head. When they heard the door to his study closed, Mr. Collins released a sigh. Lady Lucas paid little attention to those things, however.

She focused her gaze on a teary-eyed Eliza who was holding Jane's hands in hers. "Thank you, Jane."

Jane immediately withdrew her hands from Eliza and hid it behind her. "You may leave now, Lizzy. I have to check on Mama." Jane then looked at her, "Lady Lucas." With a polite curtsy, Jane left.

Lady Lucas looked sadly as Eliza watched her sister depart silently and Lady Lucas looked at her sympathetically. "My dear Eliza, what happened?"

Eliza only shook her head before finally letting her tears down as Lady Lucas pulled her into an embrace. "It'll be alright, Eliza." She said, wiping any traces of tears on Eliza's cheeks. "Let's get out of here."

**-p&p-**

Jane Bennet suspected that her mother was scheming something. It was why she had accompanied her sisters to her Aunt Philips' house first before hurrying back to Longbourn. Since she was not certain if something wrong was going to happen, she decided to hide. Her chosen spot was the tall shelf in the drawing room.

It was fortunate that Jane was already hiding when her mother locked the door and left Lizzy and Mr. Collins alone. Uncertain of what to do, Jane didn't show herself to them. When her mother started demanding that the two should marry, Jane was still unsure of how to act.

On one hand, she didn't want to betray her Mama. Her mother had gone through so much already…

As she listened to the argument taking place just a few feet away from her, her mind flashed back to when she was nine – the one time she became furious at Mama for attempting to throw boiling water at Lizzy.

Being the eldest child, Jane was probably the only one among the siblings who remembered that Mama had cared for Lizzy once. She remembered Mama playing tea parties with them, carrying Lizzy around, and the three of them strolling the gardens together – sometimes, little Thomas, who was still alive back then, would accompany them on those excursions.

But everything changed when little Thomas died.

Jane remembered Mama telling her to stay away from Lizzy, which she obediently did because she had thought that Lizzy was still sick. Their playing stopped and when Grandmother Claire moved into the Dower House with Lizzy, Jane rarely got to see her anymore. That didn't mean that Jane didn't care anymore for Lizzy though, for she did.

Jane didn't understand why Mama was always mad with Lizzy but Mama seemed to get angrier if she tried to defend Lizzy so Jane did her best to stay quiet. However, her resolve to remain silent ended that fateful night when she fortunately managed to pull Lizzy out of the way from the hot water.

After the initial shock, Lizzy started crying. Mama only glared at the two of them before she retired to her room. Jane thought that Mama would not have done it if Mrs. Hill hadn't return to the kitchen in time and asked why Lizzy was crying. Scared of what might happen if she admitted the truth, Jane had told Mrs. Hill that she was running around with Lizzy using ladles as make-believe swords and that in one of their attacks, they accidentally pushed the pot unto the floor. "Mama came down when she heard the noise and she scolded us which made Lizzy cry."

Fortunately, Mrs. Hill had believed her and started assuring Lizzy that no one was mad at her. When Lizzy had finally calmed, Mrs. Hill warned them not to play in the kitchen again because it was dangerous. Jane wondered why Mrs. Hill had left the kitchen in the first place and she later found out that the Housekeeper woke her husband up to get ready so that he could take Lizzy back to the Dower House after Lizzy had eaten some of the soup.

But Mr. Hill and Lizzy weren't alone to leave Longbourn that night, for Jane insisted on accompanying them. She even helped Lizzy get ready for bed and didn't leave her side until she was certain that Lizzy was deep in her slumber.

The following morning, she asked permission from Papa to visit her Aunt Philips. When she arrived at her Aunt's house, she cried and told her Aunt the horrible thing she had witnessed and prevented last night. She had confessed that she was angry at her mother's actions and had asked how someone could be so cruel…

That was the day she found out the sad truth.

It turned out that after her little brother died, Mama had changed. Jane thought that all those months when Mama was locked in her room, she was grieving for Thomas and months after that, Jane thought that her mother wasn't feeling well because she was pregnant with Lydia. That day, Jane found out that it wasn't because of what she thought.

"Fanny wanted to have a boy because of the entail. When she had your brother, she was overjoyed. Your mother became a shell of her old self when little Thomas died, Janey." Aunt Philips told her softly. "She blamed herself for his death. You see, your brother recovered from the flu first before Lizzy did. Your Mama heard that sea breeze was good for illness so she convinced your father and Claire to take Lizzy and Thomas by the seaside. They were reluctant at first but Fanny would not have any of it, she feared that if they did not go there, Lizzy could really die."

Lizzy's condition was critical and when she showed little recovery, they made the trip. Unfortunately, while the sea breeze did help Lizzy, the journey wasn't favourable to Thomas. "Your father tried persuading your mother to leave little Thomas at Longbourn or let Claire tend to Lizzy alone but Fanny was stubborn. She wanted both her children together. They were her twins, she said. That was the reason why your mother locked herself alone for so long. She told me that if only she had listened to your father and left your brother or let Claire travel alone with Lizzy, then none of it would happen."

Devastated, her mother stayed in her chambers neither eating nor talking. Aunt Philips was the only one who could coax out more than one sentence with her. It took some months but her mother recovered and Aunt Philips gave the idea to try for another child. With the hope to conceive another boy, her mother made remarkable progress.

"Fanny knew no child could replace little Thomas but she was hopeful that if she produced another boy, then your family wouldn't lose Longbourn. But then she had Lydia." At that, her Aunt Philips had started shedding tears. "She was so mad that Lydia wasn't the boy she had hoped her to be that she…" Aunt Philips hadn't be able to finish her sentence and it was only after the sixth attempt that she had managed to croaked out the five words Jane never thought she would here. "She tried to kill Lydia."

"Oh, Janey," Aunt Philips had cried. "It was horrible. Fanny was going to throw her into the river. It just happened that I was walking by the bridge that time so I was able to stop her. I accompanied her back to Longbourn after that. I was so scared for Lydia that I asked Hill to take care of her while I tend to your mother. I thought bearing another child would make your mother happy but I was wrong. She changed even more. She became suspicious and fearful and deluded. She would see things that aren't there and would talk to the air. For months I tried telling her two things over and over again. One, little Thomas is gone but it was not her fault and she should not blame herself and two, Lydia was her child and she shouldn't harm her."

Unfortunately, her mother had given another meaning to Aunt Philips' words. "She never tried to do anything to Lydia after that. Instead, Fanny began spoiling your youngest sister. Do not begrudge your mother for pampering your sister, Janey. She was only trying to make it up to her. However, despite the good progress she made with Lydia, she mistook my words of not blaming herself. Instead, she placed the blame to Lizzy." Aunt Philips had taken Jane's hands in hers and continued sobbing. "I told her that Lizzy was innocent in this but she wouldn't listen to me. I tried, Janey, I tried."

"But, didn't you tell Mama that Lizzy is her child and that she should not harm her too?" Jane had asked.

"I did," Aunt Philips had said, "but Janey," her Aunt had looked at her sadly, "Lizzy isn't your sister."

Lizzy wasn't her sister. That knowledge made Jane stepped out of her hiding place and faced her parents. "They do not have to marry, Mama. I was here in the same room the whole time and I didn't see anything untoward happened." Lizzy wasn't her sister, therefore it was not Lizzy's responsibility to save them and secure Longbourn.

Mama's decisions might have caused Lizzy to survive and her brother to die but no one was really at fault. Perhaps, God wanted to take little Thomas to be with him sooner. Jane believed that if people were meant to die, they would die. No one could save them. And even if it was Lizzy's fault – which Jane believed that it was not – Lizzy had suffered enough. The Bennets had badly affected Lizzy's past, it wouldn't be right if they take away her future too.

With this thought, Jane countered her mother's claims calmly. Despite this, Jane was sad to see her mother pained. Jane knew that Mama was doing this for them. Her mother didn't want to sacrifice any of her daughters so she used Lizzy. Still, it was wrong.

Jane felt guilty when Lizzy took her hands in hers. She was sorry that this happened to Lizzy but Aunt Philips' words echoed in Jane's head: "Lizzy has many people supporting her, Janey. We are your mother's family and we need to support her too. We're the only ones she had." The second her Aunt's words had registered in her, Jane quickly pulled her hands away from Lizzy.

"You may leave now, Lizzy. I have to check on Mama." Jane then looked at the newcomer, "Lady Lucas."

After a quick curtsy, she silently hurried towards her mother's chambers. Mama couldn't break down now. Not after Jane tried everything in her power, even the risk of hurting Lizzy, to help her mother. If Mama truly lost her mind because of her failed ploy, Jane wouldn't know what she would do.

Her mother's condition was subtle unless one knew what to look for. And because Jane knew the danger of her mother before she turned ten, she had witnessed the moments when her mother would suddenly became wary of her surroundings – the times when she would talk to herself alone and would suddenly become either too restless or too withdrawn.

At first, Jane did not like that her Aunt Philips told her the truth. She was so young back then. Why didn't her Aunt tell her Uncle or Papa? Later on, she discovered that Papa was too indolent to take action and if others had found out, her Aunt Philips told Jane that they could send her Mama to Bedlam or other places that were much worse. Neither she nor Aunt Philips liked that idea so they did their best to help her mother act as normal as possible.

Throughout the years, Mama had made big improvements. She no longer talked to the air or imagined things. The only thing that hadn't change was Mama's strong dislike for Lizzy.

It was one of the reasons why Jane wanted to get married as soon as possible. While she had no idea about the underlying meaning of Mr. Kearsley's poems, Jane had really thought him to be a good man. When Lizzy tried to tell her the truth about him, she used that as an opportunity to prove to Mama that she was not alone.

Mama was always complaining about how Mary and Kitty were so close to Lizzy at that time and Jane feared that if her mother thought that all her daughters cared for Lizzy, then she might do something drastic. Instead, Jane used the situation and accused Lizzy of things both in London and once when they had returned to Longbourn. Fortunately, all that Mama did was burned some of Lizzy's books and some shouting.

When Lizzy had visited her at Netherfield, Jane also tried to argue with her. In truth, she was touched, if not a little frustrated at Lizzy's actions. Jane was trying her best to protect them all by not getting close to her but Lizzy was persistent. But Jane couldn't blame Lizzy for that. Lizzy didn't know the truth, after all. In Lizzy's eyes, they were family so Lizzy wasn't giving up on them. Jane understood that. They were doing the same thing.

Despite that, Jane couldn't help but feel guilty because Lizzy was still hoping for the best. She wanted to tell Lizzy that she was not their sister but what good would that do? Besides, Aunt Philips had already warned Jane to keep quiet. Grandmother Claire's fortune was doubling their allowance. If Jane revealed the truth, that might stop.

Jane couldn't have that. If she couldn't find a good husband to help her, she needed all that she could save for whatever might happen. At the thought of a good husband, Mr. Bingley's image came up to her mind. She really hoped that he liked her as much as she did him. Jane needed a husband who loved enough to help her _and_ her family, especially her mother.

With positive thoughts on her mind, Jane opened the door to her mother's chambers.

**-p&p-**

When Lady Lucas entered the Bennet household, Miss Lucas tried to distract them with a conversation about the weather to help them ignore the loud voices coming from inside the house. However, it wasn't working on Darcy. While Elizabeth told had told them that the Lucases were like family to her, Darcy was still wary. After his suspicions about the Gardiners feeding Elizabeth false information, Darcy decided to trust no one. Not even the Lucases.

He let a full minute passed before addressing the obvious. "None of us is a cretin, Miss Lucas," Darcy began sternly. "We know that you are diverting our attention so drop the act. Why don't we go all go inside?"

"Ashbourne," Anne chastised, "you can't just barge in there. It's rude."

"But something is not right, Anne." Richard knitted his brows. "Did you notice that the servants seem to be missing?"

"Even more reason to check the commotion inside." Darcy stated.

Before he or Richard could step inside, however, Lady Lucas appeared by the entrance with a glassy-eyed Elizabeth on her side. Seeing his beloved's distress, Darcy immediately moved to her other side. "What happened?"

Lady Lucas only shook her head. "Lizzy will come to Lucas Lodge."

"Let us use our carriage," Anne suggested. "If it is alright with you Lady Lucas, we will accompany you to your home. Lizzy has become a dear friend to me and my cousins. Please, we only want to make sure that she is well."

Upon seeing Eliza's hand already using Lord Ashbourne's arm as support and the pleading look on Miss de Bourgh's and Colonel Fitzwilliam's faces, Lady Lucas nodded. "Of course, thank you for your assistance, Miss de Bourgh."

"It is no problem, Lady Lucas."

With that, the Colonel helped Miss de Bourgh, Charlotte and Lady Lucas in the carriage. Lastly, Lord Ashbourne assisted Eliza before the two gentlemen followed.

Once they were settled inside the carriage, with the cousins sitting on one side and Lady Lucas with her daughter and honorary daughter on the other, it didn't escape the matron's notice that Eliza was now holding a masculine looking handkerchief.

When the carriage stopped, Lord Ashbourne was the first to exit, handing all the ladies down before offering his arm to escort Eliza inside. This caused Lady Lucas to raise a brow but otherwise, she remained quiet and led all of them to the drawing room. She rang the bell for tea and sat on Eliza's other side.

"Eliza, dear," Lady Lucas began gently, "will you tell us what happened? If you want, we can talk to Sir William's study. I'm sure Miss de Bourgh and the gentlemen will understand our want of privacy–"

"No," Eliza shook her head, "'tis alright, Lady Lucas. They know about Longbourn and I trust them." The last sentence was said with a small smile that surprised Lady Lucas.

What on earth was going on? Of course, Lady Lucas had her suspicions but she couldn't be right, could she?

"You know about Eliza?" The question came from a surprised John, who just entered the room.

"If you mean we know about how she has been so pleasantly treated by her family, then yes." Darcy answered sharply. He couldn't help himself. Though the carriage ride had been a short one, it felt like an eternity to him. His mind kept on going through a list of possibilities of what had happened inside Longbourn earlier that had visibly affected Elizabeth.

Probably noticing his sullen mood, Elizabeth handed him the cup of tea Lady Lucas handed her. Tasting the lemon and the right amount of sugar in his drink, he looked at her appreciatively and murmured a 'thank you.' She let out a small smile in return. It was sweet of her to think of him despite the fact that she was still discomfited at whatever occurred at Longbourn.

Since everyone's eyes were trained on Elizabeth, their little exchanged didn't go unnoticed.

Lady Lucas, who wanted to get to the bottom of things so she could decide on which action to take, handed Eliza another cup of tea and said, "Now Eliza, shall you tell us what happened at Longbourn?"

As if the heavens were in tuned with Elizabeth's feelings, rain poured down heavily from the sky as she began to tell the events earlier. Her voice was calm and she didn't stumble on her words.

The moment she left Longbourn earlier and boarded the carriage, she had come to the realisation that her hopes were all for naught. Mrs. Bennet's schemes had finally opened her eyes to the truth. Lizzy already had a dreadful past and by holding on false expectations, she was only making her present miserable.

No more.

Lizzy had always dreamed of a happy future – with a husband, whom she'd love wholeheartedly and who'd love her as much in return, and children born out of that love. Mrs. Bennet almost ruined that dream earlier, all because Lizzy kept on holding on to her past. Perhaps it was time to change her philosophy. She needed to remember the past as it was, not only the memories that brought her pleasure. That way, she would be able face the present realistically, and possibly, have a better future.

So as the story of what happened earlier escaped her lips, Elizabeth forced herself to remember everything that had happened in the past years of her life. Her voice might steadily be telling Mrs. Bennet's ruse earlier but her mind was drowning in every detail of her life that she had tried to forget. As more memories resurface, the more she felt hopeless… and foolish.

She was a fool to try to think that she could mend the relationship with her family. There was no hope for that. None.

Despite the horrible images still playing on her mind, even after her story ended, Elizabeth remained calm and not a single drop of tear left her eyes. She need not cry. The sky was already mourning on her behalf.

* * *

**Okay… let's talk some things out:**

**1\. Now we all know the reasons behind Jane's actions…**

**2\. Mrs. Bennet suffered from depression after she lost her son. Unfortunately, after giving birth to Lydia she had postpartum psychosis. Most women experiencing this usually recovered. However, in Mrs. Bennet's case, while she did get better, she changed permanently and focused all her overwhelming feelings on Lizzy. Now, you also know the reason why Lydia is the spoiled Bennet daughter. Mrs. Bennet was trying to make it up to her.**

**3\. The reasons behind their actions do not justify Mrs. Bennet's or Jane's actions towards Lizzy. My point is, everyone is human and we all have reasons to why we do things. Also, every little thing we do affects one another.**

**4\. Lizzy finally realized that her hopes were hopeless. We'll explore more about her realization in the next chapters.**

**5\. I told you last chapter that a storm was coming. I bet none of you thought that said storm would come in this chapter – literally! – huh? Well, technically, it's only raining heavily here but the weather will get worse in the next chapter (spoiler alert ;)) I wonder how would that affect the story? More revelations, perhaps?**

**So that's all I got for you. I hope the start of the revelations were okay because the next chapters are gonna be filled with answers – yes answers! Of course, we'll also explore the characters' emotions on how they would handle the new information and if you guys wanna join in the fun, do leave a review of your reactions and opinions. Until next time!**


	14. Chapter 14

**First and foremost, I'm very sorry it took me so long to update. I swear, I didn't mean to go MIA on you guys. First, we just had a dry run at online schooling and I've been busy doing schoolwork. But that's only for a week, so I have free time again. The thing was, after that, I started feeling down. I think it's because after interacting with my classmates again and then NOT, shocked me. In addition to that, my mom and aunt are pushing me to lose weight and I am trying. I exercise and I'm skipping dinner already.**

**I mean, I'm not fat but I'm not skinny either. I have thick thighs and some belly fat while my cousins are all skinny… so I guess not being able to escape from their comments finally got on me and bursted my insecurities affecting my reading and writing. Like, I can't read anything but fluff and whenever I try to write, I can't seem to do it right.**

**Don't worry though, I wouldn't abandon this story. I love this story so much and you guys are all fantastic. "Proving Him Wrong" will get updates soon too, I just haven't found my inspiration to continue that story yet but my goal is to finish both P&P fanfics so I can write more P&P stories.**

**Second of all, yes, I've combined two chapters into one if you've noticed. **

**The reason why I did this is because, one; I noticed that some of my chapters appeared to be filler chapters even though what their content is still relevant to the plot. Two, I was bothered by the chapter length inconsistency. The reason that happened was because I started writing 2K words at least per chapter (because I don't have time at that time) and my latest chapters were at least 4K words (because I finally had more time writing).**

**What I meant to say, was that, the chapters should be read as they are now. You don't have to re-read, nothing really changed – except that I changed some grammar mistakes (and changing 'cookies' to 'biscuits') or other mistakes relating to that. Also, some chapters had been cut differently so there will be some cliffhangers in some chapters that weren't there before.**

**The only thing that changed in the timeline was the part when Edward Gardiner, Lizzy's uncle, was reading the list of names that Lizzy shouldn't associate with. It was moved to a later chapter. Apart from that, this work was as it was.**

**I'm sorry for the confusion, though I hope you understand what I'm saying. From now on, all chapters are going to be at least 4500 words.**

**Recap:**

**Chapter 13 – Mrs. Bennet tried to force Lizzy and Mr. Collins to marry but failed, Jane's reasons were revealed, and Lizzy opened her eyes to the truth.**

* * *

Only the pouring sound of the rain from outside could be heard at the Lucas's drawing room. Each one was busy processing Mrs. Bennet's latest scheme.

Darcy was angry that Elizabeth had almost been forced to marry another man, but that anger was overpowered with the worry he felt for her. Unlike the last time she had opened up to him and his cousins where she'd cried and croaked up her words, or when she'd told him about Mrs. Bennet's most horrible attempt at harming her yesterday with heated anger, Elizabeth informed them of this morning's event with a stoic expression and a steady voice.

That frightened Darcy. What happened today had clearly affected Elizabeth, whether for the good or bad he had yet to find out. Still, it was making him feel uneasy. He wasn't used to this Elizabeth. The sparkle in her eyes was gone. And though she smiled at him earlier, he knew it was half-heartedly done.

Luncheon came and Lady Lucas invited Darcy and his cousins to join them. He could tell that the Lucases were still a bit uneasy around them and he thought that if it wasn't raining heavily outside, then the matron wouldn't have issued the invitation. Nonetheless, he was grateful for the opportunity to spend more time with Elizabeth… more so, because she wasn't acting like her usual self. He was worried so he was grateful for the chance to keep an eye on her.

Whilst she had enjoyed eating biscuits with him yestermorning, it appeared she didn't have the same appetite as today. When it seemed that she was not going to eat any more, Darcy finally spoke. "The pheasant is good, Miss Elizabeth. I recommend eating more of it."

He internally sighed in relief when she added some food on her plate. The memory of her passing out a few days ago was still fresh and he didn't want a repeat of the incident. So when she was done with the pheasant, he encouraged her to try more salad and drink more tea. While he was still unsatisfied at the amount she ate, he didn't push any further than that.

Once they finished their meal, they all went back to the drawing room where Miss Lucas convinced Elizabeth to play the pianoforte. At first, Darcy thought that Elizabeth would decline her friend's request, however after a thoughtful look, she conceded. Not wanting to miss an opportunity, Darcy offered to turn the pages.

It took him a minute to realise that Elizabeth didn't need someone to turn the pages. Elizabeth was playing with her eyes closed; and with every press of her fingers on the keys, Darcy found out why Miss Lucas asked her to play. It wasn't for entertainment. It was a way for Elizabeth to vent her feelings – feelings that did not reflect her voice or expression.

She started almost pounding the keys but as she got to the middle she relaxed and slowed her movements and the melody became soft yet heavy.

Anger. Hurt. Hopelessness.

Had this morning's events finally opened her eyes to the reality of her family? Had she finally accepted the truth? As if answering his silent questions, she repeated the last part over and over. Though technically, the piece was supposed to be done. Darcy didn't mind, he let her be and he watched quietly as he pretended to turn the sheet.

As Elizabeth played the pianoforte, Darcy heard Sir William and Mr. Lucas informed the others that Bingley, his sisters and Mr. Hurst had been at Lucas Lodge earlier and invited them to a ball at Netherfield on the 26th.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly after her fourth time of playing the last part.

She looked at him as her fingers continued playing. "What is there to talk about, my Lord? It was done and the predicament has been resolved."

He nodded in reply, unsure of how to proceed. Should he push her to talk or should he let her be?

"You play very well." He finally said.

She gave him a sad smile. "Grandma Claire made sure I mastered it. I practice for her. She loves hearing me play and it's the only way I can make her feel better when she started to weaken from her illness."

Hours passed and the rain seemed to pour heavier. Darcy didn't even know how Digby and a footman managed to get to Lucas Lodge with the rain but they did. They were both soaked though, and for the first time that day, Darcy saw Elizabeth back in her element as she fussed around the two servants and chastising them for going out while it was heavily raining.

By the time Elizabeth had calmed down and went back to her stoic state, the rain had turned merciless. The bad weather resulted in Lady Lucas offering for all of them to stay at Lucas Lodge for the night, including his personal guards, their coachman and a footman.

He was thankful for the storm. Not only would it give him more time with Elizabeth but it also would placate him to see how she was faring. Unfortunately, the tempest outside was not the only storm they would be facing…

**-p&p-**

Sharon Lucas did not like this day at all. Not only was she was horrified to learn Fanny Bennet's scheme but Eliza's behaviour alarmed her.

She knew the young lady very well for she considered Eliza as a daughter, a niece at the very least, and it was rare for Eliza to be stoic. No matter what the situation was, Eliza always had her emotions shown on her face. Although most of the time, it was the opposite of what she was feeling.

Sharon remembered the times when Eliza would be mad or sad, but a smile was still plastered on her face. And while it pained Sharon to see Eliza faked a smile, she'd rather have that than the Eliza eating luncheon quietly with them today with a blank expression on her face.

_'Poor dear, she must be in too much shock to know what to feel.'_

Her worries only eased a little when Charlotte convinced Eliza to play. At least, Sharon could hear the emotion in every note. Nonetheless, Eliza's reaction only made Sharon determined to reveal the truth.

She had already written to Madeline the other day, after visiting Eliza on the anniversary of little Thomas' death. Her husband had also written to Edward Gardiner about the same matter. Sharon hoped that they'd reply soon, for she really didn't want to keep what she knew a secret any longer.

Eliza had suffered too much already. The poor girl deserved to know the truth.

But upon looking at the heavy rainfall by the window, Sharon knew that her wish to hear from the Gardiners as soon as possible couldn't come true. Not in this weather.

Yet, at the same time, she wanted to tell Eliza what she knew, preferably tomorrow. Eliza needed a good night rest after this morning's events. Sharon didn't want to overwhelm her. However, she also knew that Elizabeth needed to know the truth sooner rather than later.

Perhaps it would lessen the pain that Fanny's actions this morning caused.

After making sure that Eliza's room had been prepared, so the girl could retire early, she headed to own room. She felt guilty for what Fanny had done today, and also all the previous things that woman had done to Eliza that Sharon didn't even know about.

Maybe if she had told Eliza the truth about herself when the girl had started suspecting that she was not truly a Bennet, then Eliza wouldn't have tried to improve her relationships with the Bennet. Maybe Eliza wouldn't be hurting as much as she was now. Perhaps Sharon could have spared her from all the pain she had felt, or at least, half of it.

But at the same time, if she did tell Eliza the truth when she was younger, many things could have gone wrong. Eliza might run away or disobeyed the Gardiners' rules whenever she was in town, those would only endanger her.

Now was not the same case as before. Eliza was older and wiser, and while she might still make impulsive decisions, she'd have many things to consider now – especially since she'd become closer to Mary and Kitty and she had found herself three new friends.

One of which, Sharon suspected, that Eliza might have an attachment to.

Those people, along with her children, should keep Eliza grounded. They should be enough to prevent Eliza from doing something reckless. Because if there was one thing Sharon knew for sure, it was that after learning the truth, Eliza would want to stay away as far as possible from Sharon and her husband, as well as the Gardiners.

Tomorrow, she would tell Eliza the truth. With the bad weather outside and almost all the people she cared about being in the same house, Eliza wouldn't be able to run away.

All that's left for Sharon to do was convince her husband that it was time to reveal the truth – with or without the Gardiner's response.

**-p&p-**

Elizabeth had finally come to terms with the events earlier but she was still feeling restless. Charlotte and Maria, along with Alexa, had all persuaded her to retire not even five minutes after dinner. The three of them kept on insisting she needed some rest. And while it was true that she felt drained, she couldn't bring herself to sleep no matter how many times she tried to arrange her pillow. It wasn't that the guest room was unpleasant. It might be smaller than her chamber at the Dower House but it had everything to make her feel at home.

The wall was cream-coloured just like her room; there was a writing desk on the side and even a chaise near the window. Lady Lucas had made this room look like her own bedroom as possible and as much as Lizzy appreciated the thought, she still couldn't find it in her to sleep.

With a tired sigh, she decided to put on her champagne silk robe over her white chemise and because it was cold, she also draped on a fawn coloured shawl on her shoulders. (She was very lucky that Alexa braved the heavy rain just to check on her and brought her a trunk full of belongings.)

Once she was decent enough, she grabbed the empty glass (Alexa had brought her a full glass of milk less than half an hour ago to help her sleep) on her bedside table before exiting the room. Perhaps walking would do her some good. She'll just ask for another glass of milk in the kitchen and proceed to the library to borrow some books. Maybe reading could help her sleep.

However, before she could make her way to the kitchen she passed Sir William's study and heard her name. Now, Lizzy wasn't really one to eavesdrop on conversations (excluding the occasions she spied on Mr. Kearsley), but she had this feeling that she should listen.

As her ear made contact with the cold wooden door, Lizzy decided that what she was doing was wrong. She was about to step away and complete her own agenda, but what she heard next froze her on the spot.

"We both know that Elizabeth is not Thomas and Fanny's daughter!"

Her ears must be playing with her.

That must be it.

However, Sir William's answering exclamation only confirmed that what she heard was real.

"Exactly, she is not a Bennet! All the more reasons to keep the truth from her and wait for the Gardiners' respond."

The sound of glass shattering on the floor made the conversation halt. Elizabeth looked down at her shaking hands before moving her gaze to the shards of glass on the floor. She stepped back, the sudden pain on her right foot confirmed that she was not dreaming. This was real. She was awake.

But she didn't want it to be. As much as she had fantasised about it before, she did not want it to be real. Because if what she heard was real, then that meant she spent years of pain and insults for nothing. That meant that she was given responsibilities that were not hers. It would mean that her whole life was a lie… that she was living a lie.

Elizabeth felt her world spinning.

Before the door could open, Elizabeth felt herself hurrying down the stairs. She needed to get away from here. She turned to the first entrance she encountered. It was the drawing room. She made a wrong choice. There were too many people – Charlotte, Maria, Anne, Col. Fitzwilliam, Lord Ashbourne… She needed to get away.

"Miss Elizabeth."

It's too late. Her presence had been noticed. They all saw her. She turned to exit. Someone caught her elbow. John.

"Eliza?"

"I am well." The words escaped her hurriedly. "I was going to the kitchen to get some milk. I apologise for disturbing you all, if you will excuse me." She wasn't certain that they understood her words, because she spoke so fast, but she did not care at the moment. What she wanted was to be alone and so she bid them goodbye and a quick curtsy.

Before she could leave, however, Lord Ashbourne was gesturing at her bare feet. "Your foot, it is bleeding."

"Oh." She must've stepped on the broken glass. That must be where the throbbing pain from her right foot came from.

"Please sit, Miss Elizabeth." Before she could even respond, Lord Ashbourne was already leading her towards the settee.

They were all talking simultaneously; the only thing she could make out was her name. She could hear them but her head refused to process what they were saying. Her mind was still stuck at the conversation she overheard.

It wasn't true, was it?

No, it couldn't be…

But then, both Lady Lucas and Sir William appeared by the doorway, looking grim. Their expressions spoke more than real words of confirmation ever could.

Elizabeth shook her head at them, tears falling down her eyes unbidden.

**-p&p-**

It all happened so quickly. One moment Darcy was playing cards with Richard and Mr. John Lucas while the ladies busied themselves with the pianoforte and the next, just before Mr. Lucas arrived with a bottle of port, a pale-looking Elizabeth in her night clothes appeared by the doorway.

Darcy felt that it was impolite to look at Elizabeth while she was wearing informal clothing – even if they looked modest – so he averted his gaze to the floor. However, the smudge of crimson on the floor caught his attention. Elizabeth's foot was bleeding.

"Please sit, Miss Elizabeth." He didn't wait for her response and assisted her to sit on the settee. He could tell that she wasn't herself. Though she tried to appear composed – the paleness of her countenance, her trembling form and her glassy eyes betrayed her.

Just as he finished placing an ottoman a few feet away from Elizabeth so she could rest her foot on it, he saw Miss Lucas asking a maid to bring necessary supplies in helping Elizabeth. Anne, Richard, Mr. Lucas and Miss Maria were hovering over him and asking Elizabeth multiple questions of 'what was wrong' and 'what happened'. He didn't think that the inquiries were helping but he also knew that they were also worried about Elizabeth as he was.

Anne was seconds away from handing Elizabeth a cup of tea when Lady Lucas and Sir William entered the room. It was the sight of the couple that brought Elizabeth out of her reverie, but not in a good way, for as soon as her eyes landed on the master and mistress of the house, tears spilled from her eyes.

Elizabeth's reaction caused the other participants in the room, including Darcy, to look questioningly at the couple. But the two only focused their gaze on Elizabeth.

Finally, Lady Lucas broke the silence. "How much did you hear, Eliza, dear?"

It took a full minute before Elizabeth swallowed and croaked out the words, "Enough to make think twice about who I could trust."

"It's not what you think, Eliza –" Sir William started only to be cut off by Elizabeth.

"Yes, it's certainly not what I think." She clenched her fist. "You're not who I think you are, my life is certainly not what I thought it was and I'm not even certain of what I think about myself anymore!"

Her outburst surprised all of them in the room; the two oldest occupants even flinched at her accusations. But before the conversation could go any further Miss Lucas stepped in. "I think it would be best if we check on Eliza's injury first."

Digby appeared in the doorway with one of the Lucas' maids and proceeded to take care of Elizabeth's injured foot. However, Elizabeth remained impassive even though cleaning her wound – judging by the looks of it – would certainly sting.

Once the maids were done, Lady Lucas dismissed them and instructed them to get some early rest. Miss Lucas and Anne settled themselves on each side of Elizabeth while Darcy made his way to where Mister Lucas and Richard were sitting. Miss Maria was still sitting by the pianoforte but her attention was focused on her parents who were sitting on the opposite side of the room.

**-p&p-**

If Elizabeth didn't have any inkling suspicions that the Gardiners and the Lucases were keeping something from her, then perhaps she wouldn't be this angry. But alas, she knew that they had secrets they didn't want her to know about.

(If only she hadn't been afraid to question the people who treated her more nicely than her own family – the Bennets, she corrected herself – then perhaps, she wouldn't be in this position.)

Despite being aware of this, Elizabeth always put her suspicions at the back of her mind and followed them without questions. When they didn't want her roaming around London – she complied (mostly). She was supposed to wear cloaks wherever she went every time she was in Town – she did all that too.

Because she had thought that their secret was something to do with her safety. Perhaps, another powerful man was after her Uncle Gardiner again. Or maybe her Uncle Gardiner had a dispute against another rich tradesman? However, never had Elizabeth thought that their secret had something to do with _her_ alone.

Overhearing Lady Lucas and Sir William's conversation was like a slap of confirmation to her face. Maybe she even knew that their secret had something to do with her unconsciously. What she couldn't accept was that, why didn't they tell her if she wasn't a Bennet? Surely, it would've made her life easier.

This morning's events flashed in her mind.

She was almost forced to marry a man she did not want to marry – all because Mrs. Bennet had planned a compromised.

Not knowing the truth endangered her. After all, despite the truth of what happened, a lady's reputation was no less brittle than it was beautiful; one false step involved her in endless ruin. If Lady Lucas wasn't the one who visited and if Jane wasn't in the same room with her and Mr. Collins, Elizabeth could've been ruined.

If only Lizzy knew the truth, perhaps she would never push herself to be a part of the Bennet family. Maybe she would've suffered less at the hands of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. It wouldn't hurt as much like this – knowing that she wasted time trying to be on her 'parents'' good graces.

She was mad at herself. She could've tried to figure out their secret years earlier. Sooner. She could've saved herself the heartache. But she didn't. And now, she had to pay the price.

"Eliza," Lady Lucas called, the woman's eyes looking at her entreatingly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Do you think it's wise to have this conversation in a room full of other people?" Sir William asked.

"Sooner or later the world would know the truth." Of course she was scared that they were having this conversation in front of many people. But a part of her also wanted to know if they would accept her if she wasn't a Bennet, wasn't a gentleman's daughter anymore… if she wasn't who they thought she was.

If they didn't, then she would let herself be hurt tonight. She'd welcome all the pain tonight if it meant she'd no longer be hurt but tomorrow. She just wanted it all to end.

"Maria," Sir William called, "would you please fetch Digby from her room and ask her to guard the door of the drawing room? Once you finished, I want you to stay outside and make sure that none of the servants enter this room, alright."

Maria looked like she wanted to protest but one look from her mother silenced her, "Yes, Papa." With that, she hurried out of the drawing room and closed the door behind her.

"Very well," Lady Lucas sighed, "what do you want to know?"

Lizzy clasped her hands on her lap to stop them from shaking, avoiding everyone's eyes except the master and mistress' of the house. "Start from the very beginning. I want to know all."

"You might want to open that bottle of port you're holding, son," Sir William said to John, "each of one of us needs at least one cup."

While John and Charlotte were busy pouring drinks for everyone, Lady Lucas checked the door outside and said some instructions to Digby.

Sir William then turned to Lizzy. "We do not know the whole story, Eliza but we'll tell you what we do know…" he ran a hand through his balding hair, before speaking slowly, "what you heard earlier was true. Thomas and Fanny Bennet are not your real parents."

Gasps and sharp intakes of breaths filled the room while Elizabeth swallowed. Luckily, the glasses of port were quickly distributed after Sir William's revelation.

"Are you certain that you want us to be here, Lizzy?" Anne, who was sitting on her left, asked.

Lizzy nodded. "Yes, I could really use a friend right now." She then tightened her grip on the glass of port in her hands, "However, if you do not consider me as your friend anymore because of my parentage, then I am sorry for taking your time."

"Of course, I am still your friend, Lizzy." Anne assured placing one hand on her wrist. "I just wanted to make sure that our presence," her eyes darted to Lord Ashbourne and Colonel Fitzwilliam, "is not making you uncomfortable. But if you are not, then we shall stay."

Lizzy gave her a small smile.

"Forgive my intrusion, but I have a question to ask." All eyes now turned to Colonel Fitzwilliam who was looking at Sir William. "Is Mrs. Claire Bennet Miss Elizabeth's mother? Miss Elizabeth showed us the miniature of her grandparents and since she got her eyes from her grandfather and the colour of her hair from her grandmother –"

Sir William cut his explanation off with a shake of his head. "That is a good guess, Colonel. But I am afraid that we have deceived Eliza," his eyes turned to her before looking down ashamedly, "more than we would like to admit."

"The miniature you have of your grandparents are false, Eliza." Lady Lucas explained, looking at her sadly, "As you know, your Aunt Madeline is a very talented artist. She painted a miniature of Claire and Henry with your colouring. You never did saw your grandmother's true hair colour so it made it easier for you to believe. Claire's hair was pure light brown and without a reddish hue like yours, my dear, while Henry, her husband, didn't have green eyes. Rather, they were light blue like Thomas's."

"Madeline made the paintings as a precaution, in case you started doubting your parentage," Lady Lucas continued, "and when you did, she gave the miniatures to you."

"But why didn't they just tell me the truth?" Lizzy cried.

"It was to protect you." Sir William defended. "Your Aunt and Uncle only wanted what's best for you, Eliza, and so do I and Lady Lucas."

"Protect me?" Lizzy spitted the words as if they were poison. "Had I really been protected? Not knowing the truth only made me vulnerable to the emotional pain I had felt from the Bennets. It hurt every time I got rejected or insulted by the people who I thought were my own family. It pained me when I experienced that the people who I thought were my family, at the time, were capable of hurting me physically."

As more words escaped her, her voiced also increased in volume and her gestures began to go wild. "I was almost forced to marry a man I did not want to marry just this morning! My reputation could've been ruined. I could've been force to live a life I did not want and you say that you're only trying to protect me?!" She finished, panting and tears streaming down her eyes.

Her next words came in a harsh whisper. "The truth might hurt me, but at least it would save me from hoping for better relationships with the people who I thought were my parents." Taking a sip of her drink, Lizzy tried to calm herself down.

After a moment, Lady Lucas spoke. "Fanny could never force you to marry anyone, Eliza."

Lizzy and the others looked at her in question.

"Claire had very specific conditions in her will. Thomas or Fanny couldn't make you accept an offer from anyone. If they did, they would stop receiving the additional allowance that came from Claire's fortune. They shouldn't be able to physically harm you too because the same punishment would be given."

Lizzy placed her drink on the table. She felt sick. The people she thought as her parents were paid to treat her well? She could vaguely feel Charlotte and Anne's hands on her shoulders and while she did feel better at their support, it didn't take the heavy feeling that twisted at the pit of her stomach. "Were my supposed sisters paid for their kindness and pity as well?"

When Lady Lucas shook her head, Lizzy felt a little relieved and she felt herself breathing a little more easily.

"None of the other girls knew the truth. The only people who knew are your Aunt and Uncle Gardiners, Thomas, Fanny, the Philipses, Sir William, and I. My cousin, Mr. Milton, who was also Claire's attorney, knew as well."

"My wife and I do not know the reason why you came into Claire Bennet's care, Eliza," Sir William added. "But we do know that your mother entrusted you to her for your safety."

Now her grandmother's dying words were starting to make sense. It wasn't Fanny Bennet who Grandma Claire was referring to when she told Lizzy that her mother loved her, it was her biological mother.

"Do you know who my real mother is?"

Both Lady Lucas and Sir William shook their heads, so she tried another question.

"How old am I when she gave me to Grandma Claire? And what kind of danger is she hiding me away from?"

"I believe you were given to Claire before you turned seven months old, Eliza." Sir William answered. "As for what she was protecting you from, I think Gardiner was the one with the answers. Claire did make sure that very few people knew of her secrets."

"Sir William and I didn't even know about it until Fanny started treating you differently." Lady Lucas confessed. "Fanny used to be a good mother to you, Eliza. I think it was her son's death that changed her." She trailed off before clearing her throat, "The only reason we knew about it was because Claire was my godmother."

At the mention of her beloved grandmother – did she still have the right to call her that? – Elizabeth asked, "If I am not truly a Bennet, why did Grandma Claire leave me her properties and her fortune?"

"Before my wife answer that question, I need everyone in this room to give their word that none of this information will get out, including everything we told you earlier."

Everyone promised.

"That was why Mr. and Mrs. Bennet hated me, wasn't it?" Elizabeth muttered to herself. "Because Grandma Claire left everything to me... maybe I can passed it all to them."

"You will do no such thing, Eliza," Lady Lucas answered sharply. "My godmother left her possessions to you because she loved you and she wanted you to have it. As for Thomas and Fanny, they have nothing to be angry about Claire's Will. They disliked you because they have fooled themselves that you're at fault for their son's death when it was no one's fault at all."

"They have nothing to be angry about?" John asked. "I am not siding with the Bennets, Mama, but if I am the son and my mother didn't left me anything, knowing that my estate is entailed and that all my children are girls, I'd say that I have a right to be bitter about it. Not that it gave him right to treat Lizzy as a steward but still –"

Lady Lucas held a hand up at her son. "I do get your point, John. But the thing was, Thomas Bennet isn't Claire Bennet's son."

This made everyone gasp, including Lizzy.

"Unfortunately, my godmother hadn't been blessed with children of her own. She was capable of bearing children, because my mother told me that she had been there the three times Claire had been pregnant, but none of them survived. Two died in miscarriage and one from stillbirth. Sadly, during the month that her third pregnancy was due, she found out that her husband had a mistress."

Lizzy felt the tears beginning to pool from her eyes. "That was why she rarely talked about grandpa…"

Lady Lucas nodded sadly, "The day after her third child, a son, died a few minutes after the delivery, Thomas was born. It was even more painful for Claire because Henry, her husband, took Thomas home and asked Claire to help raise Thomas as her son, because the estate needed an heir. Mr. Collins, the father of your current clergy, Miss de Bourgh, was a cruel man. Henry didn't want Mr. Collins to have a possibility to inherit. And so, before he informed Claire about Thomas, he had already told their servants that Thomas was one of his and Claire's son. Everyone believed that Thomas was the twin brother of Claire's deceased son. The only people who knew the truth, apart from Claire and Thomas, were the midwife and my mother.

"I only knew about it because my mother made me promise to look after her dearest friend. After my mother died, it was rumoured that Claire left Hertfordshire to care for a sick uncle in Bedfordshire. And while she did care for her sick uncle, she didn't return to Hertfordshire even when her uncle died. Instead, she travelled north, changed her name and applied for a job. When she came back here, permanently, it was because Henry was sick. Months after her husband passed, she helped me prepare for my wedding to, then, Mr. Lucas. After he became a knight due to his mayoralty, Claire helped us afford and managed Lucas Lodge.

"From time to time, Claire would visit her estate on the north – how she gained it, I know not but I heard that her sick uncle had left her a good amount of money – and on one of those visits, a pregnant Fanny, a two year old Jane, and Thomas joined her. When they returned, you were already with them, Eliza, and Fanny was busy parading you and her son, saying she was so lucky to bear twins. Because everyone knew that Thomas had a 'twin' brother, it was not hard to believe that Fanny had twins. Apart from that, I've already told you all that I know. The Gardiners were the ones with more information about you."

Lizzy remained silent, trying to process all the information she learned. Meanwhile, the others started voicing out their questions.

"Do you think she was born from a powerful man outside of wedlock? And the wife of said man was looking for her? It seemed that Eliza's real mother loved her so she wouldn't give her up that easily, would she?" John's question made the lady's gasp and Lady Lucas admonished him for asking such a thing. "I care for Eliza too, but I wanted to know the possibilities why she was given away. It wouldn't do any good if she was kept in the dark."

"I appreciate your thoughts, brother, but I don't think that it's as bad as you say." Charlotte said. "Perhaps, she was an heiress to a large fortune so they sent her away until she was of age to claim it."

"We need to be realistic, sister. Don't put such positive ideas into Eliza's head. She needed to be prepared for whatever the truth was." John countered. "Maybe her family was deep in debt to someone? Or perhaps her parents eloped but it was stopped and now her mother's family wanted Eliza gone?"

"John!" His parents and elder sister chastised.

Eliza held her palm up, "No, John is right. I have to prepare myself for the worse. But I think I have too much to ponder on. May I be excused to retire to my room?"

"Of course, Eliza," Lady Lucas nodded. "I hope you can forgive us for keeping such a huge secret from you, dear."

"If it helps, we have written to your Aunt and Uncle the other day, but we have yet to receive a reply." Sir William added.

Elizabeth only nodded in respond. She knew that she would forgive them eventually, like she would forgive the Gardiners for lying to her as well, but she couldn't do that tonight. So after a quick curtsy, she exited the drawing room and released a deep breath.

To her surprise, the door beside her opened to reveal Anne who smiled at her. "Miss Lucas told me that our rooms are right next to each other Lizzy. Can I walk with you on the way there?"

Lizzy let out a small smile and nodded. She didn't know what to say. Her thoughts were still whirling. Fortunately Anne didn't seem to mind. She was thankful that Anne linked her hands with hers. Otherwise, Lizzy felt that her body would've collapsed from tonight's revelation.

"Thank you, Anne." She said once they reached her room.

Anne gave her an understanding smile. "It is no problem, Lizzy. Just know that I am still your friend and that I'd always be here to listen. What happened tonight will not change that."

"Thank you," Lizzy repeated, this time, squeezing Anne's hands.

When she entered her room, she immediately sat on the settee by the window.

Upon seeing a crescent moon up in the dark sky, she sighed.

As always, the sight of the moon always brought her a calming presence. Her head was still reeling with thoughts. Who was her real mother? Why hasn't she come back yet? Was she still alive? What kind of danger was she in? Was Elizabeth even her real name? Was her birthday her actual birthday? Who was her father? Did she have siblings? Was she the only one who was given away?

She must've thought about many things for a long time because when she glanced again at the clock, it was past one in the morning. Acknowledging that she needed sleep, she moved to the bed to lie down. After what seemed like hours of staring upon the ceiling, she felt her eyes close and soon, darkness consumed her.

**-p&p-**

At the Gardiner Residence in London, Edward Gardiner sat up from his bed. It was the fourth time he had woken up that night.

Earlier this evening, he finally managed to tell Mrs. Winters about the list of people Lizzy should avoid. He was going to tell her that morning, but his time had been occupied in thinking out of ways he could salvage the warehouse that was burned. Then, just before luncheon, he and Madeline were forced to close their other warehouse because of the bad weather.

The rain continued for hours and it was only after dinner, once the children had retired, that he remembered his task for himself. To both his surprise and worry, Mrs. Winters revealed that Lizzy had not only encountered three people included in the list, but it turned out that his niece had also made friends with them. Worse of all was that those people were staying at Netherfield Park – Longbourn's neighbouring estate!

He reprimanded Lizzy's companion about allowing her to befriend new people when they've been hiding her for years, but at the same time, he understood the fact that Lizzy longed for freedom. He couldn't really blame Mrs. Winters for letting Lizzy be happy with her newly found acquaintances but another part of him couldn't help but worry.

Those names were in Claire's list for an important reason. That meant that those people could endanger Lizzy if they weren't the ones who would cause direct danger to her.

He walked towards the window and sighed. He hoped that the rain stopped soon so they could be on their way to Hertfordshire by tomorrow. He had just read Sir William's letter, an hour after talking to Mrs. Winters, about how Sir William and Lady Lucas were contemplating on telling Lizzy the truth.

Edward only hoped that they'd get to be in Hertfordshire in time before they could tell Lizzy anything.

* * *

**So, I hope that this chapter made up for the two months that I've been gone. Feel free to tell me your thoughts in the reviews : )**

** And stay safe, wear a mask, and practice social distancing.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you for the encouragements and pieces of advice that you guys have given me last time. I really appreciate it and I feel better knowing that I'm not alone in having problems regarding that area.**

**Anyway, since today is a special day, let's focus on happy things. Guess what day it is today? Well, if you must know today is Colin Firth's birthday! And guess who shares this day with him? ;) You guessed it! Since today is also my birthday, and my eighteenth one at that, I give you this chapter full of our dear Mr Darcy and Elizabeth. So far, it was my favourite among all that I have written. As a gift to you guys, I'll be posting another chapter today! Yey! **

**It'll be posted five hours after this one. Hope that's okay ****J**

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 14 – Lizzy, the cousins, and the Lucas siblings learned from Lady Lucas and Sir William that Elizabeth was not a Bennet. Edward Gardiner also found out that Lizzy befriended three people who were on Claire's list.**

* * *

Darcy had been constantly checking his watch since he woke up that morning and he knew that Richard had noticed his behaviour. The rain had already stopped yesterday morning so they had left Lucas Lodge after breaking their fast.

Thankfully, because of the preparations for the ball in two days, Miss Bingley was too busy to fuss on him and his cousins. Bingley had completed handing out the invitations the same day Mrs. Bennet tried her scheme on Elizabeth so the ball was still set on the 26th. Apparently, a couple of minutes once they had left Longbourn, the Bingleys and the Hursts had arrived to visit.

Mrs. Bennet tried to make them stay but when the rain had calmed down a little during luncheon, Miss Bingley had insisted on returning to Netherfield with the excuse that she needed more time to prepare for the ball, especially with the bad weather. Upon hearing this, Mrs. Bennet hadn't stopped them from leaving Longbourn when Bingley had acquiesced to his sister's request.

Now, Darcy was pacing at Netherfield's garden, while Richard was playing with some hounds. There was just too much going on inside the manor from curtains to more complicated decorations. He felt sorry that Cousin Anne was involved in the planning as much as Miss Bingley was (the latter unfortunately, woke up earlier than her usual wont).

Bingley, on the other hand, rode to fetch the apothecary to check on Mrs. Hurst who was still recovering from a cold. Bingley originally planned to get Mr. Jones yesterday but Louisa insisted she was fine. However, when Hurst told Bingley that Mrs. Hurst had woken up earlier feeling sick, Bingley decided to get the apothecary whether his sister liked it or not, while Hurst stay with his wife.

"What's with all the fidgeting, Darce?"

"I will be meeting with Miss Elizabeth about an hour from now." He answered.

Richard looked up from petting the dogs and turned to him unamused. "After days of ignoring her, might I point out – refusing to at least check on her when she'd gotten a cold while staying with her in the same house, you'll be meeting her now? What is wrong with you, man?"

Darcy sighed. He could either lie or tell Richard the truth. He didn't reply immediately, contemplating about it. After a few minutes, he sighed and decided to go with the latter. If there was anyone whom he could trust with what was going on right now, it was Richard.

He'd been there since he first met Elizabeth and throughout their recent encounters. His cousin would understand. Calling the attention of one of the dogs to him, Darcy started telling the story.

"It all started when I woke up before sunrise after Sir William's revelation…"

**-p&p-**

Darcy twisted and turned at his bed for the hundredth time but no matter what he did, he just couldn't bring himself back to sleep.

It shouldn't be a surprise to him, since he had the same problem last night. He'd been too busy thinking about Elizabeth. He knew that what happened at Longbourn yestermorning had already shaken her and he could only imagine what she was going through right now after finding out that she wasn't related to the Bennets.

But that was not the only thing that made him stay awake last night. If Elizabeth was not a Bennet, then there was a possibility that she was not a gentleman's daughter. Even if she was a Bennet, her connection to that family could cause problems if anyone else found out the truth about Thomas Bennet. Or, she could be a gentleman's daughter but she hadn't been born in the right circumstances. Her situation could be one of the many cases Mr. Lucas suggested last night.

He stood up from his bed and looked outside the window, there seemed to be a small garden outside. It was still raining lightly but he could bear it. He and Boreas always braved the Town in such weather so he wasn't afraid of getting sick. Besides, if he were to stay in this room, he'd probably wake up the others with his constant pacing.

Fortunately, he was still wearing his proper clothing, although they were a bit wrinkled now that he'd slept in them. His valet was at Netherfield and while Sir William offered his own valet to attend to them, Darcy had probably fallen asleep by the time said valet had knocked on his room. It was Darcy's fault that he hadn't been able to change, convincing Matthew, Sir William's valet, to attend to Richard first.

Nonetheless, what's done was done and Darcy was just glad that he could go outside without disturbing anyone. His hair was probably a bit unkempt but it wasn't like anyone was going to see him. The sun was not up yet, it wouldn't be for quite some time, and he'd be back to his room before that happened.

Decision made, he started making his way outside.

Months ago, Darcy would probably run away from Elizabeth immediately. But he had changed now. Getting to know Elizabeth had changed him. He wasn't kidding her when he'd told her in his letter that he had been a foolish man.

Now, Darcy could see that whatever the real reason as to why Elizabeth's mother had given her away, it wasn't Elizabeth's fault. Her circumstances weren't her fault. She didn't choose her life to be this way. Other people had made her life difficult for her.

And despite not knowing the full truth of Elizabeth's past, Darcy knew that he loved her. Last night, he wanted nothing more than to bring Elizabeth in his arms and shield her from all the pain she was experiencing. He wanted to dry her tears, to tell her that it was going to be alright, that he was there for her no matter what.

But the thing was, it wasn't only propriety and the fear of scaring Elizabeth away that had stopped him from doing all that. It was his position in society. He was a Marquess for goodness' sake; the only son of the current Duke of Derbyshire, and his title came with responsibilities.

He had a duty to his family, to the people who were depending on his family – on him. Could he really put his own desire first above what was expected of him?

Because if Elizabeth was born of an unfortunate circumstance, it mattered not if she was not at fault, it mattered not if he loved her. If that was the case, Darcy knew that he couldn't marry her.

Angered at the last thought, Darcy kicked the medium sized rock. As the rock he kicked hit another rock, a movement from the corner of eye caught his attention. A lady in a dark red cloak was standing by a stone bench in the middle of the garden.

"Lord Ashbourne." Her voice was a little rough, as if it had dried from crying.

He stared at her for a moment before finally realizing that he had yet to greet her. "Miss Elizabeth," he bowed.

For a moment they stood like that quietly, staring at each other. She was the one who broke their contact first and averted her gaze to the ground. Unconsciously, Darcy felt himself stepping closer until it was only the stone bench that separated them.

It took another moment of silent before she finally raised her head and looked at him again. "I would understand if you want to cut ties with me now, my Lord. I will not judge you for it."

"I told you in my letter that I have changed, do you remember?" He asked. "Have you little faith in me?"

She didn't answer and Darcy dared to step a little closer to her. Her silence gave him a moment to study her face further, to see what he had missed earlier when he'd been too caught up drowning in her dark eyes.

Now, with only one foot distance between them, he could clearly see that her nose and cheeks were red and wet from the cold and the rain. Her eyes, though still beautiful was brimmed with tears and surrounded with dark circles. It made the green in her eyes appear duller.

Before Darcy could register what he was doing, one of his hands had taken ahold one of hers and his other was already tilting her chin up to look at him making the hood of her dark red cloak fell on her shoulders. Now, he could also see her dishevelled dark tress that framed her face. "Do you not believe that I could still accept you despite everything?"

She shook her head. "You are a Marquess. You shouldn't befriend some unknown country girl with an unknown family. I know that your cousin, Anne, had stated that she'll still be my friend but now that I've thought about it better, all of you shouldn't be connected to me at all."

"It is not for you to decide, Elizabeth!" The two of them gasped at his sudden use of her Christian name.

After a moment, she dropped her gaze to the ground. "I do not even know if I am Elizabeth!" Tears escaped her eyes as soon as the final word left her mouth.

"But you are Elizabeth," he countered impassionedly. He lifted the hand he was holding to his lips and repeated his words, though this time, reverently, "You are Elizabeth." He felt her froze in surprise but Darcy was determined to show her that he wouldn't leave her so easily, not like the last time, so he kissed her again, but instead of pressing his lips at the back of her hand, he kissed her softly at the back of her fingers near the tips.

"You are still Elizabeth whether you're a Bennet or whatever your real last name is." He said against her fingers, his eyes not leaving hers. "You're the young lady that I've met in the rain at Hyde Park on the first day of September. The same lady who engaged me in debates Gardiner Warehouse, who played the pianoforte beautifully at Lucas Lodge, who was loved by the tenants of Longbourn, the woman who tied against me in a horse race…"

He paused, trying to convey all that he felt for her in his eyes, and when she looked back longingly at him, Darcy kissed her the inner part of her wrist. "You're the lady who has captured my heart." He entwined their fingers together as his other hand moved up from her chin to caress her cheek. "My dearest, loveliest, Elizabeth…"

"Lord Ashbourne…" she breathed.

"Fitzwilliam," he corrected, "call by my name, Elizabeth."

She raised her free hand to cup his cheek, "Fitzwilliam…"

For a few seconds, everything else faded away. They didn't hear the clattering of the rain nor did they felt the heavy drops of water cascading down their bodies. At that moment, it was just the two of them, basking in the feeling of one another. However, the sound of thunder was loud enough to bring them out of their trance.

Elizabeth immediately dropped her hand away from his face as if she had been scalded. "You cannot say things like that, Lord Ashbourne." She tried to remove her hand from his but he held firm. "We cannot be together. What if I came from a scandalous family? What if one of John Lucas' theories is right? What if I am a bastard child?"

"If that was the case, then why did your grandmother ensure that you learned the many accomplishments of a young lady?" He countered. For all Darcy knew, Claire Bennet taught Elizabeth these things to improve her breeding – if she was not a gentleman's daughter – but Darcy wasn't going to tell Elizabeth these thoughts. "You were the one with a governess, a companion and your own lady's maid, Elizabeth."

"But what if those are the measures she's taken because I am not in her sphere? What if my parentage isn't what we would like it to be? Even being connected to the Bennets could cause a scandal if anyone else found out the truth Mr. Bennet."

"Then, no one has to know." He answered desperately, grasping both of her hands. "No one else but us knew the truth, Elizabeth. We can keep it a secret. You wouldn't have to be a Bennet for long, you'll be a Darcy." He was talking so fast, searching her eyes for a positive answer.

This wasn't how Darcy planned his morning to go, but damn it, he was not going to lose Elizabeth. He would deal with the consequences later. He would face his father, he would convince his Aunts and Uncle – he'd be able to do it all if Elizabeth chose to stay by his side. He just couldn't bear the thought of cutting her off or being just friends with her.

He wouldn't know what he'd do if he lost Elizabeth. It already happened once, when he had accused her of lying, and he had turned into a mess because of it. If the worry and fear he felt when she'd fainted last week was anything to go by, then he didn't want to know the kind of pain he would feel if he lost her now.

"But what if I wanted to know my real family?" She finally asked after a moment of staying silent.

"Then, we'll find them." He answered. "If the past isn't as good as we hoped for, then, we'll befriend them or meet them secretly, depending on how bad the situation is. But if they're what we hoped for, then we'll face them together and tell them that you're their daughter."

When she didn't respond, he asked, "Do you not feel the same way, Elizabeth? Do you not love me?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, Darcy regretted it. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if he had misread her? What if she only felt friendship towards him and nothing more? But his doubts only lasted for a second because Elizabeth turned to face him and told him the words that would forever be engraved in his memory.

"I do love you," she answered vehemently. "That is why I am hesitant about this. If worse comes to worse, I do not want to bring a scandal into your family. I do not want you to suffer because of my past." With tears, she confessed, "I do not want you to regret me, Fitzwilliam. I could not bear the possibility that you might resent me."

He shook his head and kissed their joined hands, "I could never resent you, Elizabeth. I love you."

"And I love you," she whispered.

Not being able to resist the tender way she looked at him, he used one of his hands to reach up to her back and pulled her head to his chest. He felt her free hand grasp his upper arm.

They had stayed together in the garden, silently holding unto each other. Only when they noticed that the sun was beginning to rise did they spoke again. That time, Elizabeth had taken the lead on the conversation.

"The declaration of our feelings has made me very happy," she told him earnestly, "but I am still unsure if this was a path you are willing to take with me. So before we make any commitment to one another, I want us to be absolutely certain. We both need a clear head to think about it and we do not have that right now. It was only last night that I found out that I'm not who I am. I am still overwhelmed about everything right now. I am sure that you are too."

"Then what do you suggest we do?"

"Let us give each other time to think about all of it first. Then we can meet up when we're both ready."

A part of him was offended. Did she think that his love for her was fickle? Did she not believe him? But another part of him agreed with her reasoning. It was all too much for the two of them to take in.

"Three days," he finally said, "at the top of Oakham Mount."

"Then we shall see each other in three days."

"Since the sun hasn't fully risen yet, today shall be the first day. Worry not for I will try to stay away from you to give you some peace of mind."

"Thank you, my Lord."

With a final squeeze at his hands, Elizabeth sneaked back in the house.

**-p&p-**

"You were giving her some space." Richard stated.

Darcy nodded. "Today was the day we agreed upon. Yestermorning, before we left Lucas Lodge, I left a note to Digby to give to her, about the time of our meeting."

"So that's why you're wearing your favourite attire." Richard motioned to his dark blue coat and black breeches. "Are you absolutely certain about this, Darce? By the looks of it, Miss Elizabeth is willing to let you go if you changed your mind."

Darcy glared at his cousin. "I do not want to change my mind, Richard." With a softer tone he added, "I love her. I need her. I'm willing to face whatever is heading towards us as long as I have her by my side."

Richard looked at him straight in the eyes and he stared right back at his cousin unblinkingly. Finally, after a solid minute of their staring contest, Richard patted him on the shoulder. "I am glad you're finally willing to stand up to your father, cousin. If Elizabeth is your choice then I will support you."

Darcy smiled, "Thank you, cousin."

"Anne will be happy to hear about this too. She thought that you're suddenly fighting your feelings after finding out that you know…"

Darcy tossed a medium sized stick for the brown dog to fetch before turning to his cousin, "Is that why she won't talk to me?"

Richard nodded. "It's called the silent treatment, Darce. Women do it when you do something they do not approve of." Then, with a teasing smile he said, "I'm certain you will learn more about it once you spoke to your lady love."

"I'm looking forward to my lessons, then."

**-p&p-**

For a moment, when she opened her eyes, Elizabeth thought that it had all been a dream or a nightmare of some sort. However, the presence of Mrs. Winters at the side of her bed, inspecting her injured foot told her otherwise.

Perhaps, someday in the future, she'd laugh at herself for always waking up and thinking that what happened three nights ago was a nightmare until the throbbing pain in her foot reminded her that it was not.

She was not a Bennet. Her whole life was a lie. The people she trusted the most were the ones that lied to her.

When Mrs. Winters noticed that she's awake, the woman stood up immediately and informed her that Alexa had already prepared her bath. In response, Lizzy only nodded. Probably sensing that she wanted to be left alone, Mrs. Winters left the room silently after that.

A minute later, Lizzy entered the small adjoining room to her bedchambers, where her bath was prepared. It was only when she submerged her body in the tub that she forced herself to relax. The Gardiners, along with Mrs. Winters had arrived yesterday early in the evening and Elizabeth had yet to have a talk with them about the truth.

Yes, she wanted answers badly but she didn't know if she had the strength to face them just yet. Not after finding out about their lies. Fortunately for her – or unfortunately, depending how one would choose to see it – she managed to avoid them last night with the excuse that she was still recovering from her cold.

In her defense, if Fitzwilliam (would it still be Fitzwilliam later when they talk or would she have to call him formally once again?) hadn't tilted her chin up, the hood of her cloak would still be covering her head. So really, it was indirectly his fault that she'd caught a cold. Or perhaps it had been her fault for looking up at the sky whilst the rain soaked her face?

She shook her head and splashed some water on her face. Her nervousness on their forthcoming meeting was making her think of silly things.

Whatever caused her cold, Lizzy wouldn't regret spending that morning in the garden with him. Even if he changed his mind when they met later, she would still be grateful for what happened at the Lucas' garden that morning. Just remembering how he told her that he loved her was enough to make her feel better despite everything that's going on.

But what if he didn't change his mind? A hopeful part of her dared to ask.

If he was still certain in pursuing her despite the possible consequences… then Lizzy would just have to trust him, wouldn't she? Hopefully, he wouldn't break her trust like the Gardiners and the Lucases did.

Elizabeth rubbed her face with her palms. _'No_' she thought, _'Fitzwilliam_ _wouldn't break my trust.'_ She had to stop thinking negatively and she knew that the only way to do that was to finally speak with the Gardiners. _'Later,'_ she promised herself, _'I'd talk to them later this afternoon.'_ She had a different appointment to prepare herself for this morning.

Closing her eyes, Elizabeth recalled the morning after the night the truth about her identity was revealed.

**-p&p-**

Lizzy had woken up before the sun was up and the rain was still lightly pattering outside Lucas Lodge. Her first thought upon waking up was that, last night wasn't real and she'd just had a very vivid and dramatic dream. But, when she felt her right foot throbbing, she knew that she was only lying to herself.

Sitting up on the bed, she removed the pieces of fabric that covered her foot before examining the injury. The cut was about two inches long and in appeared to be deeper than she had initially thought. But then again, her mind was too preoccupied in processing the revelations last night to spare a minute about her injured foot.

Sighing, she wrapped her foot again in the same fabric that she had removed and walked towards her trunk that was placed in the corner of the room. She opened it and grabbed a pair of stockings and her wine coloured cloak.

Seeing as the sky was still dark and it was only 3:40, which meant that Alexa was still asleep and wouldn't be able to help her dress, Lizzy decided to put on the stockings on her own. As for her dress, since she couldn't wear her proper attire without her Abigail's help, she put on the dark coloured cloak.

While her night gown covered in a long robe was modest looking, it still didn't sit well with the rules of propriety, especially since she wanted to go outside. Hopefully, the cloak and the shawl would fix that problem for her. She didn't bother looking at the mirror to make sure she looked alright. The hood of her cloak would hide her face anyway.

She just couldn't bring herself to look at her own reflection just yet. She also couldn't stay in this room knowing that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

So, to the garden of the Lucases she went.

It was cold, which was to be expected, since it was still drizzling. The weather didn't deter her, however. Elizabeth still walked towards the middle of the garden, where a stone bench was placed. She let her hand traced its smooth surface before sitting down.

When she was only child, whenever she and Grandma Claire would visit Lucas Lodge, Lady Lucas always welcomed them in her garden. The three of them, and Charlotte, would drink tea and laugh happily. Sometimes, Lady Lucas and Grandma Claire would teach Lizzy and Charlotte to take care of flowers.

Those times were gone.

Looking up at the dark sky, Lizzy closed her eyes and let the rain washed away the tears that had formed in her eyes.

She didn't know how long she stayed like that, being comforted by the rain, but it was only when she heard a stone being kicked that she snapped out of her trance. She immediately stood up from her seat and turned to face the newcomer.

"Lord Ashbourne."

**-p&p-**

Elizabeth couldn't even remember much of what happened after she spoke his title. Her mind usually skipped to the part when he tilted her chin up and the precious moments when they would just suddenly stare at each other's eyes. Of course, the admission of their feelings was the one she wouldn't ever forget. Like the feel of his arms around her and his chest against her cheek, it would forever be in her memory.

After feeling betrayed by the people she trusted and finding that she'd been living a lie, she didn't know that she could still feel happy, especially in such a short amount of time. But Fitzwilliam – she smiled the thought of his name – proved her wrong. While his declaration of love didn't fix her dilemma with the Lucases and the Gardiners, hearing him say it brought her comfort that filled the gaps of her broken heart.

Elizabeth had already admitted to herself that she liked Fitzwilliam but it wasn't until that moment in the garden when she realized that her feelings for him were much more than that. But when he asked her if she felt the same way, intense blue eyes staring at her, she knew that there was only one answer.

She loved him.

Despite that, she knew his position in the society and she knew that if they were going to be together, it would be difficult. So even though all she wanted to do was stay in his embrace since he indirectly proposed to her, she asked him to give them both some time to think more about the matter.

Today marked the end of that time to think.

When she was done with her bath, she wrapped herself in a towel and rang the bell for her Abigail. In less than a minute, Alexa entered the room through the servant's door.

Since Lizzy had caught a cold at the Lucas Lodge, she had time confide to Alexa about Sir William's revelation. Like her, Alexa also had no idea about the truth and while her Abigail had been hurt and angered by the information on Lizzy's behalf, she was slightly more welcoming to the Gardiners and Mrs. Winters than Lizzy was. But Alexa had told Lizzy that she was a servant and that it was her duty to remain civil to her employers.

"I would like to wear my green frock with light golden lining."

Alexa's eyes widened at her words. "Are you sure, Miss Lizzy?"

Lizzy wasn't surprised. The gown she was referring to was the same gown she had worn on her birthday – or her supposed birthday – about two months ago. Alexa knew that particular gown was a favourite of Lizzy's and that Lizzy only wore it on special occasions.

"Yes," she smiled. No matter what happened at her meeting with Fitzwilliam today, it was a day she would always remember. Whether as the day she had accepted the proposal of the man she loved or the last day she'd see the man she loved, Lizzy was determined to dress her best. And what better way to do that than to wear the same gown she was wearing on their first meeting?

When Alexa had finished assisting her to dress, Elizabeth pulled out a light golden ribbon from her closet and asked Alexa to help her tie it around her waist. Next, she donned on her long gloves with the same colour.

"Are you alright, Miss Lizzy?" Alexa asked looking at her from the mirror as she tied the ribbon. "I know it has been hard for you and I feel bad that I am unable to help you with this situation."

"I still do not know what to feel about these revelations, Alexa," she told her lady's maid truthfully, "but," Fitzwilliam's face flashed in her mind, "I am hoping that it would get better soon."

"I hope so, Miss Lizzy."

The room was filled with silence as Alexa styled Elizabeth's hair in an elaborate bun. Lastly, Alexa assisted Lizzy into wearing her dark green cloak.

"Do you need me to do anything else?" Alexa asked once Lizzy was fully ready.

"Could you please ask Archie to put a side-saddle on Apollo?"

Alexa gave her a questioning look but nodded nonetheless.

Once she was all alone, Elizabeth pulled out a small box from a secret compartment on the floor under her bed. Claire Bennet had shown Lizzy the secret compartment, along with the box months before she passed away. For years, Lizzy had been tempted to wear the item inside the locked box but her grandmother forbade her from doing it.

"No one can know about this, Lizzy, not your sisters or your parents or your friends and you can only wear this once you know the truth about your mother." Grandma Claire – dare she still call her that? –had told her.

"What truth, Grandma?" she had asked.

"The truth that she truly loved you," Claire had smiled. "This," she had opened the small wooden box, making little Lizzy gasp, "was her present for you."

Now, as Lizzy opened the wooden box after procuring the key from the drawer of her nightstand, Elizabeth still couldn't help but gasp. Despite of many years being kept inside a box, the gold hair comb was still as beautiful as the first time she had seen it.

It was small, about three inches wide and the design – which was composed of intricate golden swirls – was about two inches long while its teeth reached up to two and a half inches. But what Elizabeth loved about it the most were the three stones that was placed evenly in between the golden swirls. The one on the left with a deep green colour, Claire Bennet had told her, was an Emerald. The bright blue one on the right was a Lapis and the violet one on the middle, was an Amethyst.

After Sir William's and Lady Lucas' revelation, Lizzy finally understood what Grandma Claire meant when she said 'the truth that her mother truly loved her'. Grandma Claire wasn't referring to Mrs. Bennet, but to Lizzy's real mother.

And now that Lizzy could either be the happiest or the saddest woman in the county, depending on how her meeting with Fitzwilliam would go, she wanted to wear it with her. It was a part of her identity and it felt right to bring it with her.

She thought that wearing the pin would be like as if her real mother was with her. She needed that. If she was going to be with Fitzwilliam, the hair comb would serve as an unseen blessing from her mother. And if today was the last time she'd be able to address the man she loved in his name, then she would need the comfort of her mother from the comb.

Lizzy took out the hair comb from its box and hid the box back to the hiding place on the wooden floor and walked towards the mirror. Her right thumb brushed again the stones before she fastened it at the back of her head. Then, she stood sideways in front of the mirror to see if it was secured. Once satisfied, she pulled out a green bonnet with a light golden ribbon and tied it on her head.

Taking a deep breath, she headed towards the drawing room to talk to the Gardiners and Mrs. Winters. "I will be riding with Apollo." She stated. Before any of them could protest, "Alexa and Archie may accompany me. If you let me do this, I promise to talk to you once I got back."

After a moment, Mrs. Gardiner sighed and nodded.

It was easy to convince Alexa and Archie to wait at the foot of Oakham Mount. However, her Abigail told her that after a quarter of an hour, she and Archie would begin making their way up. Lizzy agreed to this.

Before she could reach the top of Oakham Mount, she had already spotted Fitzwilliam on Boreas' back meeting her halfway. The closer they got to one another, the more Elizabeth felt nervous. She tightened her grip on Apollo's reins. Was she really ready for this? What if she wouldn't be able to face the outcome of this meeting?

Since the two of them were very good horsemen, or horsewoman in her case, they had already reached the top before Elizabeth's thoughts could consume her. Upon noticing the soft smile on his face and the flowers in his right hand, Elizabeth knew at once that she had nothing to be nervous about.

They got off their horses silently and tied their companions to a branch of a nearby tree.

"Are you fully recovered from your cold?" He asked, turning to her. "I wanted to check on you when we were still staying at Lucas Lodge but I promised to give you the space you need. I hope that you did not see my actions as a sign that I changed my mind."

"I am fully recovered, thank you." She replied, before looking at him nervously, "D-does this mean that you haven't changed your mind?"

Instead of answering her question, he got down on one knee and held up the flowers to her, while his other hand took hold of her right hand. "Dearest, loveliest, Elizabeth, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. My affections and wishes are unchanged and I doubt that they ever would. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

With tears in her eyes, she beamed at him and nodded, "Yes."

Fitzwilliam beamed back at her and kissed her hand before placing the bundle of flowers in her hold.

"You have dimples!" She exclaimed happily. She had never seen it before, perhaps because she had also never seen him smile as wide as he was smiling now.

"Yes," he said laughingly, "and, now, I also have your heart."

She blushed but didn't avert her gaze. "And I have yours, so we are even."

"That, you do."

For a few minutes, they sat on the roots of a huge tree and continued to bask in their new found happiness, exchanging smiles and words of love in between conversations and debates about literature. At one point, they even had a tree-climbing competition, which she had won.

"'tis not a fair battle, Elizabeth, I am heavier than you."

She gasped, feigning hurt, "Are you calling me fat, Fitzwilliam?"

"I would never dare, Madam. If anything, I am calling myself fat."

She laughed.

A few more minutes of bantering later and Elizabeth proposed that they should start climbing down. After dusting off her cloak and checking for possible damage of her clothes (thank goodness there wasn't any), she turned to her fiancé – the word made her smile – and asked: "Who will we ask for permission, Fitzwilliam?"

"We will talk to the Gardiners and inquire about everything they know. Then, we will see who could give us their blessing to marry us."

She nodded in agreement. "I told my aunt –" she paused, "Mrs. Gardiner and her husband that I will talk to them once I got back. Perhaps, you could join me? But only if you have time to do so, of course."

"I do not think I could part from you yet, my love." He reached for her hand that wasn't holding the flowers he brought for her. "Fortunately for us, I do have time to join you later."

"Thank you," she said wholeheartedly before bringing their joined hands up and pressing her lips at the back of his hand.

No more than a minute later, Alexa and Archie arrived and Elizabeth immediately stood up from her seat. Turning to her betrothed, she smiled, "Shall we race our way to the Dower House, my love?"

Without waiting for his response, she stood up on a thick root of a tree to improve her height and helped herself up mount Apollo sideways before trotting away from her stunned fiancé. She was going to take advantage of his stupor. After all, it was the first time she addressed him that way… and it wasn't going to be the last.

**-p&p-**

Alexa Digby was surprised to see Miss Lizzy with the Marquess, but upon seeing the smiles on both their faces, her surprise turned to happiness. After the revelation weighing down on Miss Lizzy these past few days, Alexa was glad that she got to see her mistress happy again.

However, she still wished that Miss Lizzy didn't just appear and disappear like she did now. While she had learned to endure long walks because of Miss Lizzy, she had just arrived! Perhaps, Miss Lizzy had forgotten that she and Archie were following her on foot.

She shook her head. Knowing Miss Lizzy, she probably did this on purpose to spend some more time alone with the Marquess.

Turning to Archie, she sighed, "I guess we have to go back now."

"We do."

"Ye don't mind us joinin', do ye?" Alexa turned at the source and saw Jacobs, one of the Marquess' personal guards, sitting atop of a horse. "I think the Marquess want some alone time with the Miss."

Beside him, Carson, another one of the Marquess' guards, appeared also sitting atop of a horse. "I s'pose I made the right decision to come while still suffering from a cough. Else, I woulda missed the first time he smiled that wide."

It looked like she wasn't the only servant who was happy for the couple.

**-p&p-**

Whether it was the fact that Apollo got startled by a squirrel or that she was much more used to riding astride than sideways, Elizabeth still didn't expect to almost fell of her horse. Thank goodness that Fitzwilliam managed to catch her just in time, and he did it while he was still atop of Boreas.

Unfortunately for them, some of her hair had somehow managed to tangle itself into the buttons of his coat, resulting in an awkward position. For Elizabeth's part, she was stiff, her back still on the verge of falling and though Fitzwilliam's arms were supporting her, she was afraid that she could still fall down anytime. Thank goodness both their horses were well trained.

Every second that passed made her sweat. Thankfully, after some fumbling, Fitzwilliam managed to remove her hair from his buttons. When he assisted her to an upright position, she furrowed her brows at him. "I do not understand. How did that happened when I was wearing a bonnet?"

"You have some loose strands in your hair from riding and climbing the tree earlier, Elizabeth."

She pursed her lips. "But still!"

"I think it is a sign that you should not be boasting your skills. You may be the better tree-climber but what happened makes me the better horseman." When she narrowed her eyes at him playfully, he quickly added, "But, truly, I think it is a sign that even your hair tells us that we should be together."

She laughed at his response and removed her bonnet to fix her hair. However, her laughter stopped when she only felt her hair at the back of her head. Where was her hair comb? Without a second thought, she immediately jumped off Apollo and looked at the grass below them.

"What's wrong?" Fitzwilliam asked, copying her movements.

"My hair comb, I think it may have fallen down."

"I'll help you look for it."

After a full minute of not seeing any sign of it, Elizabeth was starting to panic. That was the only thing she had from her mother.

When Fitzwilliam noticed her current state, he suggested that he would buy her another hair comb if they did not manage to find it. Because of this, she unwittingly broke her promise to her Grandma Claire and told him everything he knew about it.

Now, knowing that it was from her real mother, Fitzwilliam looked harder than before. A few minutes of still no result, Elizabeth huffed in frustration, throwing her hands in the air, and to her surprise, she heard Fitzwilliam's laughter.

"What is so funny?"

"You, my love," he smiled, "are adorable. Your hair comb, it turned out, was caught by your bonnet before it could fall down. So when you threw your arms in the air like that, the hair comb fell out of your bonnet." With that, he held up her hands and showed her the hair comb.

Silently, Elizabeth chastised herself for not checking her bonnet before. Still, she couldn't help but enthusiastically run to Fitzwilliam at the sight of her most prized possession in his hands.

"Thank you for helping me in finding it and I'm sorry for making you sweat for nothing. I should've realised that it could be in my bonnet earlier."

"Nonsense, if you are going to be my wife, then I look forward to having these kinds of moments with you."

As he said this, Elizabeth noticed that his eyes were trained on her lips. This made her look at his own lips where his sweet words were coming from. She licked her lips. Her throat felt dry. Was it just her or did he seem to be getting closer to her? Just when she could feel his breath against her face, a sudden neigh made them jump apart.

Oh my, were they just about to – she blushed at the thought, her gaze moving to their horses that caused the sound.

"So," Fitzwilliam cleared his throat, and looked at the item in his hands, examining it. "This hair comb is from your mother, huh?"

"Yes," she confirmed still looking down, embarrassed at what almost happened. "That was what Grandma – er, Claire Bennet – told me. It is beautiful, is it not?"

When she didn't hear him respond, Elizabeth finally looked up at him. To her surprise, he was still looking at the hair comb. But unlike before, the comb was turned back and he seemed to be in a trance. Gone were the smile and the flush on his face, replaced by a serious look with furrowed brows.

"Fitzwilliam?"

* * *

**Uh-oh, it seemed that has stopped working. I wonder why… Tune in the next chapter to find out!**

**Meanwhile we're starting to uncover the title of this story! **

**Feel free to share your thoughts on the reviews : ) **

**Also, stay safe, wear a mask and practice social distancing.**

**Next Chapter coming after 5 hours :D**


	16. Chapter 16

**As promised, here's the next chapter :)**

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 15 – Darcy proposed marriage, Lizzy accepted, and fluff ensued.**

* * *

"Fitzwilliam?"

The second time Elizabeth called his name, he finally averted his gaze away from the hair comb to look at her.

"Is something wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"Nothing is wrong," he was quick to assure her, "The gemstones on your hair comb just reminded me that I have yet to give you a gift as a sign of our betrothal."

_'__But wasn't he just looking at the back of the hair comb? Is he lying?'_ Elizabeth shook the negative thoughts away. Fitzwilliam wouldn't lie to her. So she gave him a smile, for what else could she do when he said sweet and thoughtful things like that? "You mean the flowers aren't enough?" She pointed to the bundle of flowers she tied on Apollo's saddle.

"You deserve more than just flowers. Perhaps a necklace or a ring…"

She shook her head, "I need no such things, Fitzwilliam. The greatest gift you could give me was being with you."

He kissed her hand. "Well then, we better start talking with the Gardiners. The sooner we can have someone's permission, the sooner we can marry."

With that, they walked back towards their horses and Fitzwilliam helped her mount up Apollo. "No more races this time." He said and she nodded.

When they entered the Dower House, the three adults at the drawing room gasped at the sight of Fitzwilliam. Still, they managed to regain their composure and greeted them properly. Elizabeth guided her betrothed to one of the settee and sat next to him.

Finally, Aun – Mrs. Gardiner broke the silence. "Lizzy, I thought you promised to talk to us once you got back?"

"I did." Elizabeth nodded. "Shall we begin?"

"Do you not want to talk about this privately?" Unc – Mr. Gardiner asked.

Elizabeth shook her head. "Whatever it is you have to say to me, you can say it in front of Lord Ashbourne too. I am sure that Sir William and Lady Lucas has already informed you what happened three days ago." She took a deep breath, before adding: "Besides, I would feel much better with my betrothed by my side."

"Betrothed?!"

Her hand reached for Fitzwilliam's and he took it as his a sign for him to speak. "Yes, Elizabeth and I are engaged and to be married. I had asked for her hand earlier and she had accepted. We wanted you to tell us the whole truth so we can know who to seek permission for us to marry."

"You cannot marry him!" Mr. Gardiner exclaimed.

Elizabeth tightened her hand on Fitzwilliam's as she looked at Mr. Gardiner. "Why not?"

As Mrs. Gardiner tried to calm her husband, Mrs. Winters, who was sitting diagonally, called out to Elizabeth. "Lizzy, you have only known each other for a month. Please reconsider. We know you are angry at us but a reckless decision is not going to help."

"You are wrong," Elizabeth countered, "Fitzwilliam and I had known each other for three months now, since the first day of September. I had been meeting with him secretly at the Gardiner Warehouse before we met again here in Hertfordshire."

"You lied to us," said Mrs. Gardiner.

Elizabeth clenched her jaws, "I lied to you for three months, but you lied to me all my life."

Mr. Gardiner sighed. "We are only doing it for your own good, Lizzy. Get angry all you want but I beg you, do not marry Lord Ashbourne and cut ties with him."

Angered at the man's statement, Fitzwilliam asked: "Why should Elizabeth trust the man who lied to her not just about her identity, but about her safety as well?"

"Fitzwilliam?" Elizabeth turned to him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"When you told my cousins that you couldn't leave your house because a man named Mr Price was after your Uncle, they also informed me about it too. Please try to understand my reason, Elizabeth. I was worried for you. So even though it was none of my business, I wrote to one of my most trusted man and asked him to investigate about this Mr Price."

When he saw that Elizabeth was not angry at his actions, he continued, "Imagine my surprise, when the man I trusted with the case sent me a letter saying that this Mr Price didn't exist and the man that Mr Gardiner exposed to the earl, who was my Uncle, was named Mr Appleton and that he was not a threat for he did not have enough money or power to be one."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because my cousins and I were still trying to figure out why the Gardiners would fake a threat like that. Of course, many things had also happened these past few days…"

Elizabeth nodded understandingly and he squeezed his hand. She then turned to the other occupants of the room. "Explain, please…"

Mr Gardiner ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "You were given to Claire to keep you safe. When Claire died, she entrusted me and my wife to look after you. That's why we forbid you to go outside and why you always wear cloaks. The time that we created a Mr Price, Mrs Winters informed us that Netherfield Park had been let. We wanted you to stay away from the newcomers and we thought that the only way you would treat the situation seriously is if you think you're in real danger."

"But why do I have to hide from my new neighbours?"

"Because there is a high possibility that they might be on Claire's list." Mr Gardiner answered. With a glance at Fitzwilliam, he added, "And they were."

Elizabeth's brows furrowed. "List? What list?"

"Before Claire died, she also entrusted me with many things." Mr Gardiner then opened the small trunk beside him and pulled out a book. "This book is one of them. It contains specific instructions on how to deal with different situations like your education and accomplishments. It also included a list of people that we should keep you from."

Mr Gardiner opened the book to a page where an old torn parchment was hidden. The writings were almost illegible because the ink had already smeared but below it, Elizabeth recognised Claire Bennet's handwriting that copied the list.

_Paxton_

_Sherwood_

_Thornton_

_Reed_

_Wesley_

_De Bourgh_

_Bradshaw_

_Darcy_

_Fitzwilliam_

Below the list, Claire Bennet's handwriting continued.

_I trust you to keep Lizzy away from anyone included in the list above, Edward._

"Do you now see why I do not agree with your relationship with Lord Ashbourne, Lizzy?" Mr Gardiner asked.

Elizabeth didn't reply. She was still staring at the list. "I do not understand. What kind of danger am I in that so many people are involved?"

"Claire has never told us the full truth of it either but I believe that the fire in the smaller warehouse was caused by one of these people." Mr Gardiner revealed. "They are close to finding you, Lizzy. Some of Claire's precautions had been found out and they will be after you next."

Fitzwilliam looked at the others with the same confusion as Elizabeth, "I do not know why the names of my family are on your list. My cousins and I did not even know Elizabeth until recently."

"Maybe you do not know, but other members of your family do," countered Mr Gardiner.

Elizabeth's free hand fiddled with the ribbon of her bonnet. "I understand that you were all looking out for me but why didn't you just tell me the truth? You could have told me that I am not a Bennet earlier."

"It's not easy –"

Elizabeth cut Mr Gardiner off, "And this is easy?"

After a moment of silence, Elizabeth spoke again. "Does this mean that the other events years ago – being attacked by highwaymen, Mrs Gardiner's miscarriage, being hunted down back then by the real business partner of an earl – were all made up too?"

"My miscarriage was real but the others were made up whenever danger came close to finding you…"

"Were you ever planning on telling me the truth?"

"Of course, we were, Lizzy." Mrs Gardiner answered. "But you have to understand that if you knew about it, then you'd be running straight for the danger. We know you Lizzy – you are like daughter to us. And I know that you will try to search for your real family once you find out the truth."

Elizabeth sighed. She understood Mrs Gardiner's point. She would have done exactly what Mrs Gardiner stated but she still could not help but feel betrayed by their lies and secrets. Everything was still too much for her to process.

At the slight feel of pressure on her hand, Elizabeth smiled. It might still be overwhelming for her but Fitzwilliam was there for her. With this knowledge and new found determination, she looked directly at the Gardiners and Mrs Winters. "I do not care what the list says. I will still marry Fitzwilliam. Now, please tell us, where we can get permission?"

When no one answered Elizabeth's question, Fitzwilliam decided to speak up. "Since you refuse to give us your blessing or permission or lead us to a person who could, we will just have to ask Mr Bennet to do it. Since no one else knew the truth, Elizabeth is known as his daughter. He wouldn't dare refuse us or else his own secret will be known. If he gives us too much trouble, I can still marry Elizabeth on Gretna Green."

"You would try to elope?" Mrs Winters asked.

"No, our family will be with us." With that, he stood up and nodded at them, "If you will excuse us."

Before any of them could protest, Fitzwilliam was leading Elizabeth out of the house.

**-p&p-**

Thomas Bennet glared at the pair in front of him. One of them was his 'daughter' or as he liked to think of her, the girl whom his 'mother' adopted. The other one was a tall man who dared threaten him with his parentage.

"Give us your permission to marry and talk to the vicar to list down Elizabeth's name so the Banns can be read two weeks from now, after I have talked to my family or else your wife might be thrown out to the hedgerows sooner rather than later. After all, I am well acquainted with the rightful heir of this estate."

Thomas did not reply at the arrogant Marquess and continued glaring at them.

Elizabeth. It always had something to do with that Elizabeth. The girl who had given him so much trouble since she'd entered his life.

Back then, Thomas didn't know the truth about his parentage. Only when his father was on his deathbed did the old man confessed the truth to Thomas. And when he found out, it all made sense. Why his mother never had the patience with him, why she never seemed to be impressed with whatever he tried to do, why she had left him and his father for a long time… why his mother only seemed to tolerate him at best.

Despite everything, Claire Bennet was the only mother Thomas had known. So when she tried to mend their relationship once she returned to take care of his father, Thomas gave her a second chance. It took months but eventually, Thomas had finally known what it was like to have a mother.

Claire had helped him in courting Fanny, who was now his wife. His mother had been there when he got married, supported his wife while she was pregnant with Jane and even treated Jane as her own granddaughter. Everything was going well that when Claire had asked them to join her on visiting her estate, they had agreed to come.

The day before their journey, they found out that Fanny was pregnant. Because the trip to Claire's estate on Scotland could be taxing, she decided to lease an estate on Nottinghamshire where Thomas and his family could stay. Their months of stay there had been fun until Claire finally decided to continue her trip to her estate alone.

When she returned three months later than she promised, a babe named Elizabeth was sleeping peacefully in her arms and Fanny had already given birth to little Thomas three months ago. Claire did not give them much detail about the babe's family, only that the babe needed a home for quite a while, yet Claire still managed to convince Fanny to adopt the babe into the family and pretend that it was his son's twin.

Because his son was a chubby babe and Elizabeth was smaller than most babes her age, they decided that the ruse would work. For the people in Hertfordshire to fully believe their scheme, they all stayed another month on Nottinghamshire. Then, Claire leased another small estate at Warwickshire where they stayed for four more months.

After that, they had also visited Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire before they had finally returned to Hertfordshire. However, Claire stayed with them for only a week before travelling around the country again. She returned two months later. In the times that Claire had been gone, Thomas got closer to both babes and he started treating babe Elizabeth as one of his own children.

Unfortunately, when the 'twins' were three years old, Elizabeth had gotten the flu. A few days later, his son had acquired it too but he healed quicker that Elizabeth did. Fanny had heard that sea breeze was good for illness and she wanted to take Elizabeth to the seaside to recover. And Elizabeth did, but his son – oh, his son, Thomas got teary eyed just thinking about his little namesake – got sick on the journey and he weakened as Elizabeth recovered.

It all went down from there. The death of his son also caused the death of his wife, for Fanny had become the shell of the person she used to be, and it was all that Elizabeth's fault.

It did not matter that he suggested that little Thomas should be left with him and only Elizabeth and Claire should journey to the seaside. Fanny was a mother – it was only natural that she wanted her children to be together. He could have put his foot down and reason with his wife – but as a husband, he wanted to make his wife happy so he could not be blamed. No, the only one to be blamed here was Elizabeth. Not him or his wife.

If that girl hadn't entered their lives, then their family would still be complete.

First, Elizabeth took his son and then his wife and lastly, his mother. Claire did not like the way Fanny was treating Elizabeth so she took the little girl with her to live at the Dower House. Elizabeth ruined the relationship Fanny had with his mother. Claire did not understand that what Fanny was doing was reasonable. Of course his wife would hate Elizabeth, she was the cause of little Thomas' death.

When Claire died, Thomas was relieved. He could finally get rid of the unwanted girl but even to the death Claire loved that girl dearly and protected her using her Last Will. Thomas did not understand it. How come his mother loved that girl, who was solely unconnected to her? Thomas was the son of Claire's husband, whom Claire loved, yet Claire had trouble loving him. What was so special about Elizabeth that Claire had been more of a mother to her than to Thomas?

As if three people had not been enough, Elizabeth had also managed to steal the Gardiners and the Lucases from them. The people, who were once his and Fanny's friends, chose a child over him and Fanny. That angered Thomas even more.

Despite that, he never did anything to the girl. Whenever his wife insulted the girl, he just let her and he remained in his study. Maybe the girl would get tired of it and ran away. When she did not, Thomas had decided to make the girl useful.

His mother had told him once, when he was younger, that he'd never be good at managing an estate. If that's what Claire had thought, then fine. Thomas started giving Elizabeth the duties on managing the estate. Elizabeth wanted to spend time with her sisters? That's fine with Thomas, but only if she taught Mary and Kitty first about estate management and other accomplishments of a young lady. It seemed that his mother knew him too well because even in Claire's Will it's a condition. Treat Elizabeth nicely and they'll get additional allowance from her, fine.

And now, it seemed that Elizabeth was not done with stealing people from him. The girl had actually recruited a Marquess and was now threatening him about his identity. It did not matter to Thomas that the girl look wary and that she seemed to be holding the Marquess back from scaring Thomas. To him, everything was that girl's fault.

"Might I also remind you, Mr Bennet, that my friend Mr Bingley is taken by your eldest daughter. As Bingley's closest friend, I could persuade him that your daughter is only using him for his fortune…" the Marquess trailed off, "you would not want your daughter to be heartbroken by his departure, would you?"

Thomas still remained silent and observed the pair. If anything, this was in his favour. If that Elizabeth married the Marquess, she would be out of their lives. His permission could also guarantee that Bingley would not leave Jane and that his parentage would remain a secret. The most favourable part of it, was that if that girl did marry, then her family might disprove of her and refuse to accept her because she married a man without their permission.

The thought of her real family rejecting her was too tempting to Thomas. Since Elizabeth had taken many people from him, he should take people from her too. After a long time of not responding, Thomas finally spoke. "I will give you my permission and ask the vicar to read the Banns whenever you need it in exchange for your secrecy."

**-p&p-**

Fitzwilliam tried to speak to Elizabeth once they exited Mr Bennet's study but she wouldn't talk to him. It was only once they were out of the house's view she turned to face him. "You should not have talked to him like that."

"Elizabeth, all I did was gave him empty threats. Surely, you could not be mad at me for talking to him like that? Blatantly disrespecting him was my way of defending you against everything they've done to you."

She sighed. "I understand where you are coming from."

"If you're worried about me talking to Bingley, then fear not. I already promised you that I would not interfere with them." He said, taking her hand. "Besides, Bingley is a grown man. He can make his own decisions. As for Mr Bennet's case, you and I both know that we would not really expose him because it will affect you and the other Miss Bennets you cared about."

She squeezed his hand. "I know. You wouldn't do anything that could intentionally hurt me."

Fitzwilliam did not respond and only squeezed her hands back. He would tell her that it was true but it was not – at least, not fully. Not when he was already withholding some very vital information from her. It was the hair comb's fault! If he had not seen it, then this would not happen.

He would probably be saying sweet things to her right now. But ever since he saw that crest engraved at the back of Elizabeth's hair comb, all he knew was that they needed to get married immediately. Later he would talk to Bingley so he could announce their engagement at the ball. If people found out that he was engaged, then his father could not stop him and Elizabeth from getting married. He would be honour bound to her and his father was a stickler to doing the honourable thing.

If his father had agreed to it, then so would his Uncle and Aunt Matlock. The only problem that Fitzwilliam would face was his Aunt Catherine. Would she recognise Elizabeth? Did Elizabeth look like her mother? Or her father? Unfortunately, he had forgotten how his Uncle Lewis looked so he couldn't be sure.

Later, he would write to his mother and to Georgiana. If his mother knew how much he and Elizabeth were in love, then she could probably reason with his Aunt Catherine and let him and Elizabeth be in peace.

"Fitzwilliam, are you alright?"

His eyes snapped to his beloved who was looking at him worriedly. "I am alright, my love. Do not worry about me. Now, rest and I shall see you tomorrow." He kissed her hand and watched as she entered the Dower House.

_'__Forgive me for keeping the truth from you, Elizabeth,'_ he thought, watching her retreating figure, '_but it is for your own good.'_

When he got back to Netherfield, he was greeted by a jovial Bingley and an unusually happy Hurst. Richard was smiling at him knowingly while Anne and the other ladies were nowhere to be found. Apparently, they were fetching Mrs Hurst from her chambers.

"Ashbourne, my friend, you are just in time for dinner." Bingley greeted. "The Colonel told us that you escaped from all the planning here in the house."

If Fitzwilliam was wondering why his friend Bingley seemed happier than usual, then all had been revealed during dinner. Apparently, Mrs Hurst was not sick and the apothecary who checked on her earlier confirmed earlier that she was with child. That explained why Hurst was also unusually happy. The man had been married for more than three years now and it was the first time Mrs Hurst was expecting.

Fitzwilliam congratulated the happy couple and spent some time with the others in the drawing room before seeking solitude in the library. Naturally, Richard joined him once the others had retired.

"Anne has gone to retire only and I have yet to tell her about what you said this morning. Planning the ball with Miss Bingley has really tired her. Now, will you tell me what happened?"

At the reminder of the events earlier, Fitzwilliam smiled. "Elizabeth has agreed to become my wife."

Richard grinned and nodded at him approvingly, patting his shoulder, "I thank you for giving me a wonderful cousin, Darce. I am sure Miss Elizabeth would get along well with my sister and yours." Then, he turned serious again. "Now, what happened afterwards?"

Fitzwilliam told Richard about his and Elizabeth's talk with the Gardiners and how they had missed luncheon because they headed straight to Longbourn to talk to Mr Bennet. Thank goodness that the Dower House's Cook, Mrs. Hurley, saw them talking by the window and gave them a basket of bread and fruits to share on their walk to Longbourn.

Upon remembering that his personal guards had been following him all day long, Fitzwilliam promised himself that he would talk to Carson and Jacobs tomorrow and thank them for doing their jobs and as well as apologise for disappearing without telling them where he was going.

"Claire Bennet has a list of people whom Miss Elizabeth should stay away from and our last names are listed there?" Richard's question brought him out of his thoughts.

Instead of answering, Fitzwilliam walked over the writing desk in a corner, grabbed a blank piece of paper and started drawing the crest he saw at behind Elizabeth's hair comb. Once he was finished, he gave it to Richard. "She was wearing a gold hair comb earlier that belonged to her real mother. And I saw that symbol engraved at the back."

"Deuced!" Richard exclaimed, looking at the drawing in disbelief. "But Anne told me that her mother said that this insignia was specifically made for some frames at Rosings."

Fitzwilliam nodded. That was the same reason why he had been so surprised to see the same symbol on Elizabeth's hair comb earlier, because Fitzwilliam had seen it before on some frames on particular paintings at Rosings.

"Miss Elizabeth is seven years younger than Anne, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you think –"

Fitzwilliam held up a hand to his cousin to stop him from talking. "I do not know, Richard. But it is highly possible. We will not know for certain until Anne talks to Aunt Catherine about it."

"Do you think that the people who were after Miss Elizabeth were Aunt Catherine's relatives? I heard from Anne that Aunt Catherine started corresponding with some of them a couple of months ago."

Richard's speculation was not impossible. After all, their Aunt Catherine was not truly a Fitzwilliam. She was only a half-sister of his mother and a step-sister of Richard's father. His maternal Grandmother, Deborah, was the second wife of his Grandfather Matlock and vice versa. Aunt Catherine was Grandmother Deborah's daughter from her first husband who had also been an earl.

Fitzwilliam's mother told him of that story when he was younger. Grandmother Deborah's first husband was twice her age and already had four children from his first wife. Apparently, the children of her husband did not really like Deborah because she was only a few years older than them, so once the earl died from his illness, Deborah took her daughter Catherine with her to her family estate in the North.

That was where Deborah met the then, Earl of Matlock, Fitzwilliam's Grandfather. After a year, they decided to marry and the Earl adopted Catherine as his own child. A few years later, Deborah gave birth to Fitzwilliam's mother. But that was not relevant to the current situation.

"Do you know the last name of Aunt Catherine's relatives?"

"Reed."

Richard's answer made him froze.

"Do not tell me that they are in the list too."

"But they are." Fitzwilliam said grimly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Deuced!"

If what Anne had said before was true – that her father had indeed cheated on his Aunt Catherine – would his Aunt seek the help of her other relatives to find his Uncle's bastard child? Fitzwilliam knew that his Aunt Catherine was a strict woman, yet she was also generous and kind. She did help many people at Rosings and she was a good sister to his mother. But, Aunt Catherine could also be unforgiving if she chose to be. And Fitzwilliam did not think that his Aunt could be welcoming to the probable bastard child of her husband.

"But something is not adding up," Fitzwilliam muttered, "I have seen Elizabeth's hair comb with my own eyes cousin, touched it even. There were three stones and it looked expensive. The woman whom Anne told us about was asking money from Aunt Catherine to get her daughter back."

"Maybe the hair comb was from Uncle Lewis and when Miss Elizabeth's mother gave her away, she left the hair comb in her care?" Richard suggested. "Or, the woman whom Anne told us about was a fake – or probably another one of Uncle Lewis' mistress – and Miss Elizabeth's mother hid Miss Elizabeth from everyone related to the de Bourgh family. That was why our names were on the list."

Fitzwilliam nodded in acknowledgement. That could be possible.

"If Miss Elizabeth turned out to be Anne's half-sister, what are you planning to do?"

"We will announce our engagement during the Netherfield Ball. That way, I will be honour bound to her. If all went accordingly, father cannot do anything but accept the match. As for Aunt Catherine," Fitzwilliam sighed, "I pray that she will not return to Hertfordshire yet."

That night, Fitzwilliam started writing to his mother about Elizabeth. He would send all his other letters to her tomorrow too and hopefully, once she received it, she'd accept his choice and support him.

**-p&p-**

After dinner, Edward Gardiner asked Lizzy to speak with them once again. Since the Lucases had already revealed the things they knew, Edward and his wife had agreed to tell Elizabeth what they knew as well. It would be better for all of them if everything was out in the open.

However, the presence of the Marquess earlier had made him wary. He had done business with Lord Ashbourne before as well as with the Marquess' Uncle, Lord Matlock, and Edward knew them to be honourable people but that was not enough reason to fully trust them. Their names were written on Claire's list and Edward trusted Claire's judgement. After all, it wasn't Claire who made the list. The list was given to Claire.

"Forgive us for not telling everything earlier, Lizzy," Edward started, "but I trust Claire and I am cautious of the people in the list. Now that we are in private, however, we will tell you all that we know."

At Lizzy's nod, Edward took a deep breath and started telling the story. "Claire was not supposed to be the one to take care of you, Lizzy. You were passed on to her, because the person who was supposed to care for you had been found out by the people coming after you. So you were given to Claire, along with a few belongings."

Edward then placed a small wooded trunk on the table and opened it.

Madeline pulled out a green knitted wool blanket and handed it to Lizzy. "Claire told us that this was your blanket when you were a babe." They watched silently as Lizzy gently traced the knitted pattern with her hands. When she looked up at them again, Madeline brought out a faded white baby cap and gown made of muslin. "There are other clothes in the trunk too, but these were the ones you were wearing when you were given to Claire."

As Lizzy looked at her old baby clothes, Edward decided to continue the story. "When you were given to Claire, she did not hesitate to take you in her care because from what we heard, Claire was very fond of your mother's family. And even as a babe, Claire told us that she could tell that you take after your mother, so it was not really a hard decision for her."

He then proceeded to tell Lizzy about how Claire convinced Fanny to raise you as little Thomas's twin sister up to the point when both Lizzy and little Thomas got sick which led to the latter's passing and Fanny's change in attitude. Edward did not mention that the event also marked the change of his relationship with his sisters. Not that he was close to them in the first place to begin with, the age gap between him and his sisters being one of the reasons why they did not often see each other eye to eye.

"Claire had to take extra precaution each year to hide keep you safe, Lizzy. There were people looking for you so Claire created some false identities and tracks in the other counties every year. This year, however, someone was searching those false track, Lizzy, and we fear that it was the people who are looking for you." He sighed. "There have been some close calls before but it was never this alarming. They had already found out three of Claire's false leads."

"But what kind of danger am I in?" Lizzy asked.

"That is what we are unsure of, for Claire refused to tell us anything else. She says that it would be better for us not to get too involved."

Lizzy frowned, looking at the clothes on her lap. "I am still at lost."

"I am sorry, Lizzy, but that was all what Claire had told us. The other things, the Lucases had already told you." He said.

**-p&p-**

There was a moment of silence before Mrs Gardiner spoke. "I know that you are angry and upset with your Uncle and me for keeping the truth from you. Probably even more so, because we do not wholly approve of your betrothal with the Marquess, but we were only doing what we thought best, Lizzy. I do hope that you can forgive us."

"You know that I would only marry for love," Elizabeth said softly. "Fitzwilliam loves me and I feel the same way."

Mrs Gardiner nodded understandingly. "I know, you would never have accepted him if you did not. But Lizzy, I fear that the two of you will never be truly at peace without fully knowing your past, considering that it somehow involved his family…"

When Elizabeth did not respond, Mrs Gardiner cleared her throat. "I'm sorry that we have not given you the information you wanted, which are the things about your family. But Claire did leave this for you," Mrs Gardiner said, revealing a sealed letter to Elizabeth. "She asked me to give it to you once you found out the truth. We do not know what it contains but we do hope that it could help you. "

"Thank you."

Once the letter was in her hand, Elizabeth put the blanket and the baby clothes back in the small trunk. She placed the sealed letter on top of the pile. Then, after bidding good night to Mrs Winters and the Gardiners, she proceeded to her room and carried the wooden trunk with her.

Elizabeth locked the door to her chambers and rushed towards the writing desk in her room where a thick candle was lit. The other items in the trunk could wait, but she letter couldn't. Hands shaking in anticipation, she broke the seal and started reading.

_My dearest little Lizzy,_

_If you are reading this letter, then you have finally found out the truth – or most of the truth – about your identity. You are probably confused and angry right now, but allow me to tell you, my dear child, that I only did what I was asked to do and what I thought was best for you._

_When you were given to me, I was also given a second chance – a chance to finally be a real mother and a grandmother, and not just to a babe but to a babe that I adore! You see, Lizzy, your mother was the first person who showed me what it was like to be a mother. I adore her very much so it was very easy for me to love you as well… especially since you look very much like her except for the eyes. _

_It is why I always encouraged you to wear cloaks, because one look at you and the people who were after you would immediately find out who you are._

_Now, Lizzy, if are thinking right now that I am not your grandmother, I beg you, my child, to stop, for even though we are not related by blood, you will always be my granddaughter. I love you Lizzy. Do forgive me for the way this letter was written for I have just found out that I am ill earlier and my thoughts are in chaos._

_Speaking of forgiveness, I believe that it was partly my fault why you are suffering in the hands of Fanny and Thomas. You see, my dear, I was the one who convinced Fanny to raise you as her son's twin. You were given to me indefinitely but I know that your family will come back for you. Still, it was my selfish wish to raise you as a gentleman's daughter._

_Apart from that, because Thomas was not truly my child – but please do keep this information a secret – I have not shown him much kindness when he was a child. My son, my real son, had died moments after his birth and it pained me to see Thomas freely roaming around Longbourn when my child could not. Thomas forgave for only tolerating him when he was little – for it was what I did, ignore him and only thought of him as a duty I have to do to keep my husband happy._

_If only I knew that he would take out my mistakes in you, then I would not have done what I did in the past. I would have acted like the perfect mother to him, even if the sight of him – the living proof of my husband's betrayal – pained me. _

_Because of this, I leave you all my properties and fortune. Do not try to give them to Thomas or Fanny, Lizzy, for I have already given them their due. My fortune is yours because I want it so. As I have said above, you are my granddaughter and it was only right that you have it._

_Let us not talk about me anymore… I will not mention anything about your true family in this letter because I believe that you would try to find them if you have yet to meet them and it would only endanger you. Remember, Lizzy, you were sent to me for your safety, not because they wanted to. All I ask for you is to wait, I am sure that your mother will be very happy to see you again. They will be the ones to come for you._

_If someone came to claim you, they must know about the golden hair comb. Do you remember our secret, Lizzy? That hair comb with the stones will be the key to finding your real family. Aside from the three stones, there is something engraved at the back of the comb behind the stones. It was two roses entwined together surrounded by two crescent moons._

_If the person claiming to know your parents do not know that, then run away and hide, Lizzy, for these could be the people your mother were keeping you from. However, if you are reading this letter and you already found your mother, then please tell her to ask the Gardiners for my things. The Gardiners would know what to do after that._

_I will end this letter hoping you could forgive me and the others for their deceit, I hope you are safe wherever you are, little Lizzy and I wish for you and your mother to be reunited soon._

_Your loving grandmother,_

_Claire._

With tears in her eyes, Elizabeth read the letter again. It still did not answer all of her questions but at least now she knew that her mother was planning to reunite with her. But what if that plan changed? What if her mother did not want her anymore?

She stood up from her seat and walked towards the mirror to stare at her reflection. Claire – Grandma Claire – said in her letter that she looked very much like her mother so she tried to imagine an older version of herself, with some wrinkles on the face and a bit of greying hair.

Was that how her mother looked like? After a few more minutes of doing the same thing, she got tired of it and decided to finally lie down on the bed.

Tomorrow, she would tell Fitzwilliam about this new piece of information. For now, she would sleep. With that thought, Elizabeth opened the secret compartment on the floor under her bed, grabbed the key from the drawer beside her and hid the letter in the same box where her hair comb was.

**-p&p-**

Meanwhile, at the inn near the borders of Hertfordshire, Lady Catherine de Bourgh finished writing her last letter. This one was instructions for Mrs. Jenkinson.

After a wild goose chase of searching, she finally found what she was looking for. Despite her annoyance that she had been played, Lady Catherine admired Claire for deceiving her.

Claire Bennet. Lady Catherine had finally learned the true name of the woman.

The woman had caused Lady Catherine to search from Bedfordshire to Oxfordshire to Buckinghamshire; when in reality, the place she should be looking for was Hertfordshire – the place where her daughter and nephews were staying. The same place she should also be staying before she had been falsely led to Bedfordshire. It was also the place where her parson, Mr Collins, was looking for a wife.

At the thought, Lady Catherine remembered something. Wasn't Mr Collins staying with his relatives with the last name of Bennet?

Perhaps, this would be easier than she initially thought. Tomorrow morning, she'd travel to Hertfordshire.

It's about time she found the child.

* * *

**So, yeah… I hope it's okay with you that I didn't elaborate on ****Mr Gardiner's other explanation since it was the same as Thomas' recollection and I didn't want it to be repetitive. As for Lizzy's mother, the next chapters will reveal that. It would be somewhere within the next three chapters.**

**I'm also going to address another issue. Darcy and Lizzy will NEVER be siblings. I'm just clearing that up. Even Richard and Anne are not exactly cousins in this story because Lady Catherine is adopted. (Not that it really matters because her real father was still an earl). I mean, if you're into that kind of thing I respect it but Darcy and Lizzy will not be like that.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter… get ready for the Netherfield ball!**

**Next update is next week Thursday : )**


	17. Chapter 17

**So wow, last chapter there were mixed reviews about Claire Bennet…**

**The thing is, it's up to you if you like her or hate her. I try to make the characters real – so no characters were one sided. Like none of them are absolute evil and none of them are absolute goodies. **

**In Claire's case, she hadn't been a very good mother figure to Thomas but she did become a good grandparent to Lizzy. I've known some people who were kind of the same. Like those who were not the best siblings but good cousins or friends or aunts/uncles.**

**More history about Claire will be revealed in the future chapters.**

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 16 – Lizzy and Darcy had a talk with the Gardiners and Mr Bennet, Lizzy learned more about her past and Darcy and Richard suspects that Lizzy might be their Uncle Lewis' bastard child.**

* * *

Fitzwilliam Darcy headed straight to the Dower House once he had finished sending his letters to his mother and sister. He knew that the Gardiners and Mrs Winters might not welcome him and would not be happy to see him, but he was there for Elizabeth.

Fortunately for him, Elizabeth was only too happy to see him, if the smile on her face was any indication. For the sake of being polite he bowed to the Gardiners and Mrs Winters in greeting. The three adults greeted him civilly in return but it was clear in their wary expressions that they still did not approve of the match.

As if sensing the tension between them, Elizabeth led him to the stables after bidding goodbye to the others. For propriety's sake, Elizabeth's Abigail and a footman was a couple of feet away from them. Jacobs and Carson were also somewhere near. Despite the four people that could be watching them, Fitzwilliam kissed Elizabeth's knuckles and greeted her good morning.

"I have already talked to Bingley earlier. He has agreed to let us announce our engagement after the supper dance."

Elizabeth smiled at him, "Is that your way of asking me to dance with you for the supper dance, Fitzwilliam?"

He shook his head and walked to Boreas where a bundle of wild flowers were attached on the saddle. He carefully picked up the bundle before returning to Elizabeth with a smile. "This is how I am going to ask your dance sets for the ball."

"Bribery, Sir?" She raised a brow at him. "I thought you are better than that?"

"Oh, I am better than these flowers." He replied teasingly. "And since I am better than these," he held out the bundle towards her, "you should agree to dance the supper set with me. These flowers are only added inducement. Of course, I am also requesting for your first and last dance as well."

She rolled her eyes and Fitzwilliam was happy to see a glimpse of the Elizabeth he had met in the Gardiner Warehouse. "You asked for three dances and you only give me flowers?"

"And gracious dancing skills, Madam." He added seriously. "I promise not to step on your toes."

She began tapping her pointer finger on her chin, "'tis very tempting, Sir, but not enough to convince me yet."

Using his last resort, Fitzwilliam lifted her hands near his lips once again, but this time, he kissed the inner part of her wrist. "What about now, Madam?"

Face flushed, Elizabeth finally nodded. "Very well, Sir."

After a few more minutes of light-hearted conversations, Elizabeth told him about her talk with the Gardiners last night.

**-p&p-**

Anne de Bourgh ate her third apple that day. The first one, she ate because she knew that she needed energy to assist Miss Bingley in preparation for the ball tomorrow night. It seemed that Mr Bingley's sister really wanted to impress them all – most especially the Marquess – with her skills as a hostess. Unfortunately for Miss Bingley and fortunately for Anne and everyone else, her Cousin Ashbourne was already engaged to Lizzy.

It had been the happiest news that Anne received this past week – probably these past months – only second to her own engagement. However, the news following it caused her to eat her second apple. Richard had told her earlier about his talk with Ashbourne last night and he shared with her the suspicions they had about Lizzy – the possibility of Lizzy being her half-sister.

The timeline was correct. Lizzy was about seven years younger than Anne. It also explained why her mother has a miniature of (probably the real) portrait of Claire Bennet. It should also explain why her last name, along with Richard's and Ashbourne's, had been in Claire Bennet's list. Could it really be that she and Lizzy were related? Was that the reason why Anne immediately bonded with her?

A part of Anne was angry. If it was indeed true, then that meant that her father betrayed her mother. Another part of her, however, was happy at the idea of having a sister; perhaps because she had been an only child for so long.

She had been so eager to find out the truth that she had excused herself from assisting Miss Bingley and went to her mother's chambers where her mother had been refreshing herself. After all, her mother had just arrived and was probably exhausted from her journey. Despite this, Anne had still talked to her mother.

First, she had informed her that Richard had asked her to become his wife a few weeks ago. Once her mother had expressed her joy on the news, Anne had wasted no time in questioning her mother about his father and his apparent affairs.

She had confessed on opening the wooden box her mother had left behind, with the help of Richard, and she had told her mother that she had read all the letters in there. "Is it true, Mama? Did my father sire another woman's child?"

Anne remembered the shock on her mother's face and how she had looked away immediately and avoided Anne's gaze.

"Why did you not tell me that he's been alive longer than you initially claimed? I thought you all told me that my father was dead before I was born?" She had asked again.

"I did not want you to remember him because what you have read in those letters were true, Anne." Her mother had admitted. "I was hurt and angry by his betrayal so my siblings understood why I chose to lie to you. They were angry on my behalf so they did not stop me from doing what I did. Although, I believe, that my brother has been telling you that he was a kind man and that he loved you."

When, her mother had finally looked up at her, her eyes had been glassy. "I hope you could understand me, Anne. It is why I encouraged your relationship with Richard. I know my nephew and with him, you will never experience the pain I had been through."

It had been the first time that Anne had seen her mother cry like that and Anne's heart had went out to her. She could only imagine the pain her mother had felt about it. "Oh, Mama," with those two words, Anne had settled herself beside her mother and she had hugged the woman who had raised her alone.

Still, Anne was not one to be easily affected by emotions when it came to knowing the truth. So despite knowing that she had been walking on glass with the topic of her father's affair, she had continued her inquiries. "I saw some trinkets and a miniature of a woman among the letters, Mama. Who is the woman in the miniature?"

Something had flashed in her mother's eyes but it was quick to disappear.

When her mother had not answered, Anne had prodded further, "Was she the woman who has my father's child?"

After what had felt like a long time, her mother finally nodded.

"Do you know my half-sister, Mama? What if you met her? Would you be angry at her?"

Her mother's brows had furrowed, "Where are these questions leading to, Anne?"

"Nothing, Mama, I just wanted to know."

Though skeptically, her mother had still answered her question. "I am not a monster, Anne. I would not welcome the child with open arms but I would not cause any harm to her either."

"But what if, hypothetically, one of my cousins, Cousin Reed for example, wanted to court a lady and said lady happened to be my half-sister. Would you be opposed to the match?"

"If she is not with him for mercenary purposes, I suppose I can make an exception."

Anne had changed the subject after that and she had left her mother in her chambers to rest. She, on the other hand, had proceeded to go to the kitchen to procure her third apple for the day.

Now, there she was, pacing in the garden and savouring the last apple she could eat that day while she continued to reflect on the conversation she had had with her mother. If she could, Anne would grab another apple from the kitchen. However, she knew from her experience that three apples were her limit, anything more than that could cause her shortness of breath. On the other hand, not eating any fruit at all would cause her headaches or dizziness.

Anne shook her head, now was not the time to think about fruits.

Lizzy's tear-streaked face flashed in her mind. She had been so confused and overwhelmed that it had been no surprise to Anne when she'd caught a cold the next day. Her mother said that she would not cause any harm to Anne's half-sister. If Lizzy was indeed her sister in question, then she deserved to know the truth.

If she were in Lizzy's place, Anne knew that she would also want the same. That way, Lizzy would not have to worry about anymore and her mind would finally be in peace. With a new found determination, Anne decided that she would talk to Ashbourne about it. Hopefully, he would agree with her.

**-p&p-**

Lady Catherine de Bourgh hated lying to her daughter, but it had to be done. She had opened her locked wooden box earlier and the miniature of Claire Bennet was gone. It meant that Anne was telling the truth about opening the box. Her daughter had told her that Richard helped her and it must mean that Fitzwilliam was involved as well.

Anne's questions regarding her illegitimate sister led Lady Catherine to believe that Anne had made her own conclusions about the situation. That did not bother Lady Catherine de Bourgh. She could always clarify the truth later on. What bothered her, however, was Anne's last question.

"But what if, hypothetically, one of my cousins, Cousin Reed for example, wanted to court a lady and said lady happened to be my half-sister. Would you be opposed to the match?"

The implication of Anne's idea had Lady Catherine thinking. Preston – her informant while she was gone – had written to her of the cousins' constant departure from Netherfield. Fitzwilliam, specifically, had apparently been always out with his horse. While she knew that her nephew loved riding, Lady Catherine was still surprised that her Marquess nephew was nowhere to be found when she had arrived earlier.

Could it be that Preston's guesses were true? Was her nephew courting a young lady here in the county? Her informant's idea along with Anne's questions was aligning in Lady Catherine's head.

"Oh my," she muttered to herself.

At the thought of her nephew possibly courting the girl she had been looking for, Lady Catherine stood up from her bed and headed towards the drawing room. It seemed that the day was in her favour for Collins was already there to pay a call. After spending a proper amount of time with Anne, Richard, Mr Bingley and his family, Lady Catherine had asked Mr Bingley permission to use his study to discuss some business matters.

As soon as the amiable host agreed, Lady Catherine called for Collins and Mrs Jenkinson to join her. First she asked her parson about his mission of finding a wife. While Lady Catherine was sad that he had yet to find himself a bride, she was more horrified at his story of being locked alone in a room with one of his Bennet cousins – the same Bennet cousin that her daughter Anne had apparently asked Collins _not_ to marry.

Lady Catherine's eyes narrowed at this. It seemed that her conjecture was closer to reality than she had initially thought.

When Collins finished telling his story, Lady Catherine asked him to describe the Bennets individually. She paid particular attention to the Miss Bennet named Elizabeth and to patriarch and matron of the Bennet family.

"What about Claire Bennet? Do you know anything about her?"

Collins explained that Claire Bennet was his Cousin Bennet's mother and that she had passed away years ago. "If you want to know more, your Ladyship, I believe that my Cousin Elizabeth would be happy to tell you more about her. According to my Cousin Mary, she was the one closest to their grandmother. As a matter of fact, Cousin Elizabeth lived separately from the other Bennets. Cousin Jane tells me that it was because she was very attached to their grandmother that she preferred to stay in the Dower House."

After that, she had advised Collins to take a break from looking for a possible bride for it would come to him. The other Bennet girls were too young to marry in Lady Catherine's opinion and she was the one who suggested extending an olive branch to her relations. However, by the looks of it, it seemed that Collins was better not connected to the Bennets.

The way Mrs Bennet had set up a trap angered Lady Catherine. Oh well, at least the woman did not succeed.

Once Lady Catherine had finished talking to Collins, she started questioning Mrs Jenkinson. If Lady Catherine had some doubts earlier that this Elizabeth Bennet was the girl that she was looking for, it had all banished after her interrogation with Mrs Jenkinson.

_'__Tomorrow night at the ball,'_ Lady Catherine thought, '_I'll find her.'_

On that thought, she began laying down specific instructions for Mrs Jenkinson to follow. To make sure that nothing would go wrong with her plan, she handed Mrs Jenkinson the letter she had written for her last night. That way, the woman would not forget her instructions.

After that, she called for Richard and Anne to give them her blessing. She had long pushed for this match and it made her happy to see that her beloved daughter would soon marry to a man that would take good care of her.

**-p&p-**

Tomorrow came sooner than Fitzwilliam wanted. He had been surprised at his Aunt Catherine's presence yesterday and Anne's constant argument that he should tell Elizabeth what he knew was waning his energy.

Couldn't Anne see that Elizabeth and Lady Catherine in the same room was not a good idea? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and he could only imagine Aunt Catherine's eyes once he set her eyes on Elizabeth. After all, his fiancée did tell him yesterday that according to a letter from Claire Bennet, Elizabeth looked very much like her mother. Hence, Fitzwilliam would not take the chance of the two of them being in the same room.

He already had a plan for him and Elizabeth to be together and the Netherfield Ball was an important part of it. It was the perfect place to announce his engagement to Elizabeth. It was frowned upon for a gentleman to break an engagement, so once many people knew that he and Elizabeth were betrothed, his family would find it more sensible in supporting the match than disliking it. By that time, his mother would also be by his side to help him convince his other family members.

Then, once he and Elizabeth were wed, that was when he would tell his family the truth about her parentage. By that time, Elizabeth would have charmed his family already that they would look pass her biological family and ignore her heritage. If they were lucky, they might help him conduct a search for Elizabeth's mother. If all went according to plan, everyone would get what they wanted and everyone would be happy.

Unfortunately, Fitzwilliam had not expected Aunt Catherine's early return to Netherfield. Why would he, when her last letter to Anne told them that she would be away for another week more?

Because of Aunt Catherine's unexpected arrival yesterday, Fitzwilliam would not be able to do his plans. So that morning, after breaking their fast, Fitzwilliam and Richard decided to ride out. Richard was doing it because he didn't want to stay at Netherfield for the ball's last minute preparations. Fitzwilliam, on the other hand, wanted to see Elizabeth.

Not certain if Richard was on Anne's side of telling Elizabeth the truth right away, he told his cousin that he would like to talk to Elizabeth alone.

"Good morning, my love." He greeted, mounting off of Boreas once he reached the top of Oakham Mount. He was originally heading to the Longbourn Dower House, but he saw her standing out here with Apollo on his way so he proceeded here instead.

When he saw the frown on her face, he asked, "What is wrong?"

"'Tis the Gardiners and Mrs Winters," she sighed, "They do not want me to attend the Netherfield Ball because it is unsafe." She crossed her arms. "I do not know why they think that I should continue listening to them. It is a ball after all. And even if I am in real danger, no one would dare harm me in a huge gathering like a ball–"

For once, Fitzwilliam was thankful that the Gardiners did not approve of their match. "I think you should take their advice." At her surprised expression, he added more calmly: "I thought about everything last night, Elizabeth, and it will not harm us if we become more careful, right? The list of people on Claire Bennet's notebook should not be taken as a jest. My cousins and I might not know about you, but what if the other people listed there do? I do not want you to be in danger, my love."

"I do not understand…" her brows furrowed. "I thought we are going to announce our engagement tonight? And you came here yesterday to ask me for three dances. Why is it that you changed your mind all of a sudden?"

He shook his head. "Do not worry about it, Elizabeth. We can start visiting your neighbours tomorrow and announce our engagement." When she was about to protest, he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "As for our dances, we have plenty of time to dance in the future. I do remember you saying once that 'to be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love.'"

When she still did not reply, he led her to walk forward.

"What are you doing?" She asked, the glint in her eyes telling him that she was amused at his movements.

"I am dancing, Madam." He continued his movements and raised a brow at her. "Will you not join me?"

She shook her head with a laugh. "'Tis only the two of us when there should be other pairs as well. We will probably look silly. Truly, Fitzwilliam, you look like you are going mad."

He flashed a smile at her, "Madly in love with you, my dearest Elizabeth."

She blushed.

"Now, would you help this poor gentleman out and dance with him?"

With a shake of her head she finally started doing the lady's movement of a dance. For a while, they continued dancing some more. He never thought that he could be this silly but Elizabeth always brought out the repressed child in him, the part of him who liked to tease and have fun.

He must've look very ridiculous, for in the midst of their dance, she laughed so hard that she would've slip if his arm had not caught her immediately. Her laughter immediately came to a halt and Fitzwilliam watched mesmerised as she gazed upon him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

He suddenly became very aware that one of his arms was encircled around her waist. When he saw her eyes flickered on his lips, he couldn't help but lean in a little closer. "May I?" He whispered against her lips.

"You may."

Those two simple words were it took for Fitzwilliam to close the small gap between them and capture her lips. Closing his eyes, he savoured the feel of her soft, plump, lips against his. It felt like forever before they parted but in reality, it could not have been more than five seconds.

Their foreheads were still leaning against one another and he couldn't help but return her soft smile.

He hoped that the silliness of his actions followed by their sweet kiss was enough to distract her. It was certainly more than enough to distract him for the rest of the day.

Hopefully, she would heed his advice and stay at home during the Netherfield Ball or else, he doubted that they would have any more moments like this if Lady Catherine spotted her at the ball.

**-p&p-**

Elizabeth had spent the afternoon reflecting on her thoughts. She knew that Mrs Winters and the Gardiners only wanted what was best for her and that was why they did not want her to attend the Netherfield Ball. Fitzwilliam's changed of heart earlier was also because he was looking out for her. All of them just wanted her best interest and as much as Elizabeth understood that, she was sick of it.

Her mother gave her away for her best interest. Grandma Claire would not give a clue about her family for her best interest. The Gardiners made up a fake person for her best interest. The Lucases kept the truth from her for her best interest. And now, Fitzwilliam was also agreeing with the others for her best interest.

Elizabeth was tired of it all. Each one of them kept on making the decisions for her. Well, no more. It's time for her to stand up for herself and make her own decisions. They would have to respect her choices.

With determination filling her veins, Elizabeth rang the bell for her Abigail to help her get ready. Since she was a little late in dressing herself, she would arrive a little later than what was fashionable. But Elizabeth didn't mind. She was doing this for herself and not for the sake of enjoying the ball alone.

Dressed in a white ivory ball gown with matching long white gloves and some pearls and white ribbons decorating her hair, she declared to the Gardiners that she was going to the ball and they could not stop her. As if they were already suspecting her decision of going, the Gardiners and Mrs Winters had also dressed themselves.

"It is a private ball," she told them.

"We know, Lizzy," Madeline said, "that was why Sir William had already asked Mr Bingley yesterday if we could attend as well."

She sighed and got in the carriage with them.

Once they arrived, Elizabeth immediately scanned the room for her betrothed. Upon seeing that there was no sign of him, she recalled their conversation earlier and she remembered that he told her that he would be spending most of his time hiding behind the pillars and the other half in the Netherfield library.

She was about to go to the direction of the library when Mary and Kitty walked towards her with smile on their faces. At the sight of their faces, Elizabeth's eyes turned misty. She could not help it. For the first time since she found out the truth about her connection with the Bennets, she was face to face with two Bennets. Not just any Bennet members, but the ones who actually cared for her and loved her.

"Lizzy!" Kitty called. "We were looking for you earlier. I thought you are not going to come."

"We missed you," Mary said. "We do not know what happened the last time Mama called for you but we do hope that Lady Lucas had prevented anything bad."

Elizabeth smiled, even though she was not truly a Bennet, Kitty and Mary would always be her sisters. "Do not think about it anymore, Mary, but I thank you for looking after me."

Kitty rolled her eyes fondly, "You do not need to thank us, Lizzy. We'll always look out for you just like you always look out for us. Because that's what sisters do, right?"

Fearing that she would burst out to tears if she spoke, Elizabeth only nodded happily.

As the current set continued, the three of them stood near the punch table to talk about the past few days that they were not able to see each other. When the next set came, Mr Collins asked her to the dance the next set before he claimed his dance to Kitty while John Lucas led Mary to the dance floor.

With a small smile at the sight of her sisters dancing, Elizabeth proceeded to the direction of the library and silently opened the door before closing it just as quietly behind her. She could hear his voice behind the farthest shelf so she was careful not to make a sound. She was planning to surprise him after all. She wondered what his expression would be like if she startled him.

Just as she was about to reveal herself, Anne's voice stopped Elizabeth in her tracks.

"Tell her the truth, Ashbourne, or I will. My mother said that she will not hurt her. You have nothing to be afraid of."

Elizabeth felt a sense of déjà vu at the tone of Anne's voice. It was almost like the time when she overheard Lady Lucas and Sir William arguing in the latter's study.

"Elizabeth is my friend, possibly my half-sister, and she deserves to know the truth. The longer you keep it from her, the more it will hurt her." Anne continued.

"See things from my perspective, Anne." Elizabeth heard Fitzwilliam sigh. "Aunt Catherine can be kind and understanding yes, but do you honestly think that she will welcome Elizabeth with open arms once she found out that Elizabeth was her husband's child from another woman? Need I mention that Elizabeth was told that she looked very much like her mother?" He paused and Elizabeth could hear him pacing back and forth. "I will tell Elizabeth the truth eventually, once we're married so that my father and Aunt Catherine would not be able to object to the match."

The snapping of the door shut brought Elizabeth back to reality. It also made the three cousins step out of the farthest shelf and look around. When they spotted her, they gasped in surprised.

Fitzwilliam was the first to recover. "Elizabeth I –"

She did not let him finish. "I trusted you, Fitzwilliam. I trusted you." She shook her head. "But you were just like the Lucases and the Gardiners – always knowing what's best for me. Keeping the truth and not bothering to know my opinion."

"I would have told you about it eventually," he defended.

"When? When we're married? You are going to keep the truth from me that long?"

"Yes!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "It would be a small price to pay."

"A small price to pay?" she echoed. "A small price? All my life all I've ever wanted was a family who will love me and accept me for me. You know the answer to my questions, your Aunt could lead me to who my mother is and yet you chose to keep it a secret? You will have me walk blindly into the altar believing that I could trust you and that you accept me for what I am when in truth, you do not!"

"Blindly?" He laughed mirthlessly. "If anyone is going into this marriage blindly, it is I, Elizabeth. Do you not see that I am willing to sacrifice many things for you? In marrying you, I will be going expressly against the wishes of my family, my friends, and, I hardly need add, my own better judgment."

Elizabeth's breath hitched, each one of his words was stabbing her like a sharp knife in her chest. This was exactly what she had feared. This was the reason why she insisted on them having some time before they fully decided to be together.

"I will tell you the truth eventually. A month or so is all you need to wait for. As for me, my father could tell me that he was disappointed in me for my choice in the many years to come, so yes, Elizabeth, I daresay that not knowing the truth for quite some time is a small price to pay."

She clenched her fist on her sides to stop herself from trembling. "Very well, Lord Ashbourne, I see your point." She paused before swallowing the heavy lump in her throat. "I release you from our engagement. You say you love me but I am sure that the feelings which, as you've told me, have blinded your regard, will help you in overcoming this. And I shall remember your words tonight to help me forget my own feelings. Goodbye."

After a quick curtsey, she left the room.

**-p&p-**

Caroline Bingley had one goal – to raise her position in society. It was why she encouraged her sister, Louisa, to marry Humphrey Hurst. He was not richer than their family, only having about four thousand a year of income at most, but he was from the gentry so Caroline pushed the match.

She thought that once her sister had been married to the gentry, people would not look on her anymore. Unfortunately, she had been wrong so she aimed higher. The perfect opportunity came when her brother, Charles, had somehow managed to befriend a Marquess.

Her brother and the Marquess of Ashbourne had been friends for years now but Caroline only found out about it three years ago. It had taken another full year before she could be introduced to the Marquess of Ashbourne but once she had, she knew that the Marquess was her chance to be accepted in the higher society.

Leasing Netherfield was her chance to impress him, but then Charles had ruined it all with offering the position to Lord Ashbourne's cousin, Miss de Bourgh. Fortunately, Miss de Bourgh passed the position to her, at least 'in the eyes of society'.

At first, Caroline thought that her plans were working. She had befriended the Marquess' cousin and she was being a gracious hostess – even going as far as letting Jane Bennet stay at Netherfield when the girl had been sick. The eldest Miss Bennet was a sweet and pretty little thing, Caroline would admit, however, her connections were lacking so Caroline did not want her for Charles.

Speaking of Bennets, they were the chits who were ruining her plans, especially that chit, Eliza. It did not take her long to see that the cousins were always away from Netherfield and apparently that Eliza Bennet was the reason. After finding out about this, she focused on planning the ball and made sure that everything was perfect.

Once the Marquess saw how great she was at being a hostess, he would surely want to offer for her. However, her hopes and efforts had been crushed because of that Eliza. She was going to talk to Charles about the change in menu for luncheon yesterday when she overheard him and the Marquess talking in the office. Apparently, the Marquess was already engaged to that Eliza chit and they were planning to announce it at the ball she had worked hard for.

Caroline was not going to let them do that. So when she saw the Eliza chit entered the library, she followed after her. Luck was on her favour because the moment she slipped in the room, she heard the most scandalous thing.

Eliza Bennet was a bastard child! And of Lady Catherine de Bourgh's husband no less!

Immediately, she ran out of the door and out of her excitement, she accidentally closed the door loudly. No matter, she would get to Lady Catherine first.

The Marquess' Aunt was easy to find, standing by the punch table near her fool of a parson named Collins. Masking her elated expression to one of shock and distress, she rushed towards the woman and exclaimed louder than normal so that other people could overhear.

"Your Ladyship, how fortunate that I found you. I am afraid, however, that I bring some very distressing news," she paused for dramatic effect, "You see, I have just found out that Eliza Bennet was not truly a Bennet, but an illegitimate child of your husband. She was in the library the last time I saw her."

Lady Catherine did not reply but judging by the scowl on her face, Caroline had succeeded. Once Lady Catherine had walked away from her, Caroline let out a satisfied smirk.

To her surprise, Jane Bennet approached her with her usual serene expression. "I know how badly you wanted to fit with the gentry, Miss Bingley. A piece of advice: we do not spread such ridiculous gossip about other people that could ruin their reputation. Spreading rumours about my sister will not raise you in anyone's estimation."

With that, Jane Bennet walked away from her. Caroline was so shock by the glare that the eldest Bennet had given her that she almost did not notice her brother heading towards her, wearing a stern look she did not think he was capable of making.

**-p&p-**

Lady Catherine remained quiet as she let Charles Bingley's sister inform her of her 'concerns'. Didn't that girl realised that she had also offended Lady Catherine by insinuating that her husband had fathered a child from another woman. As irritated as Lady Catherine was at the girl's behaviour, the girl had been somewhat helpful.

As soon as Miss Bingley finished speaking, Lady Catherine had walked away and headed to the direction of the library. Before she could turn on the hallway where the library was located a teary-eyed young lady ran passed her. Trusting her instincts, Lady Catherine followed the girl to the back door and up to front again where the carriages were waiting.

"Take me to the Dower House." She heard the girl said.

Lady Catherine's eyes searched the crowd and thankfully, she immediately found Preston. Upon meeting her eye, Preston motioned for the coachman to stir the carriage towards her.

As she entered the carriage, Preston bowed. "Everything's ready, your Ladyship."

She inwardly smiled, '_It's good to have efficient people.'_

"Good. Tell Mrs Jenkinson to follow my earlier instructions strictly and that I will see her in two weeks. Perform your task as well."

With that, she told her coachman to head to the Longbourn Dower House. Since the coachman driving her carriage now was the one who had been driving Anne around when she left Hertfordshire, Lady Catherine trusted that the man would not get lost.

The carriage was still moving but when Lady Catherine caught a glimpse of a lone figure of a woman on top of a hill, she instructed the coachman to head there instead.

After what had felt like a life time, they had finally arrived to their destination. Lady Catherine did not wait for her servant to escort her out of the carriage like she usually did. Instead, she stepped out immediately and called for the girl.

"Are you Miss Elizabeth Bennet?"

The young lady turned to face Lady Catherine with a sorrowful expression. Lady Catherine gasped at the sight in front of her. Though it was evening already, the lamp that her footmen were holding along with the moonlight was enough for Lady Catherine to see the young lady clearly. She had to hold her cane tightly for support for it looked like as if she was seeing a ghost.

If she had her doubts before that Elizabeth Bennet was the girl she was looking for, they had all vanished now.

* * *

**I hope the pacing of this chapter is alright. Anyways, if the kiss was lacking, forgive the author for the lack of experience, or no experience at all. I just need to make them have their first kiss before I break all of our hearts.**

**Before some of you come at me with torches and pitchforks, their engagement was really meant to be broken. Sure, Darcy realized that he loved Elizabeth but being in the higher station, he still felt that she should be the one sacrificing it all and not him. He was not giving his 100%. As for Elizabeth, she has yet to grow fully into the Elizabeth we know and I believe that she needed to stop doubting herself and love herself fully first. Once she was done with that, then she can share her love to others.**

**This separation will help them be the better version of themselves, just like in the book. As you can see Darcy keeping a secret is not a best idea and relationships are supposed to be equal. **

**I hope that's okay. I really loved the first proposal in the original (not because I think it was romantic for it was far from that, but it was the moment they opened their eyes to each other and looked within themselves) so I just have to use some of the lines from there.**

**Anyways, what do you think of Caroline and Lady Catherine? Jane and Bingley's reaction?**

**Next update is next Thursday!**


	18. Chapter 18

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 17 – Anne and Lady Catherine had a talk, Anne wanted to tell Lizzy the truth while Darcy did not. Darcy and Lizzy fought. Caroline spread malicious gossips. And Lady Catherine finally saw Lizzy.**

* * *

Other people, including his friend, Ashbourne, and his brother-in-law, Hurst, had told Bingley to try and put his foot down with Caroline. He did not listen. Yes, Caroline was not the kindest person out there but she was his sister. His father had asked him to look out for both his sisters before he died. He could not find it in himself to fight with Caroline, especially when among the three of them, Caroline had always been the brave one.

He was too friendly and Louisa was too timid that people often took advantage of them. Caroline, on the other hand, was confident and she always knew what she wanted. He remembered the time when they were little when other young boys would trick him into letting them play his toys and did not bother to return it. Caroline would frown at him and she would pretend that one of his playmates had hurt her to get them punished by their parents. Since then, his playmates would not dare 'borrow' his toys anymore.

When their parents died, Charles was afraid to be the head of the family but Caroline would push him to go to balls and gatherings so that they could be accepted to society. But looking back on it, as years passed, that was all that had been on Caroline's mind – to rise her place in society. She had forgotten about him and Louisa. And because Charles was holding unto the things Caroline did for them, he never dared to contradict his sister.

Now, however, Caroline had gone too far. Climbing to society is one thing, but dragging down others just to get to the top, Charles could not accept that. That was too much. He knew that Caroline was never perfect in the first place, but he missed his sister who always put the family first before her ambition. As soon as the rumours started circulating around the ball, he just knew that he had to stand up to his sister.

Maybe sending Caroline back to their Aunt in Scarborough would make her remember how their family used to be. She would be mad at him but Charles was hoping that time to reflect would be good for her. Hopefully, the sister he knew and love would return soon.

When they finally reached his study, Charles turned to look at his sister sternly. "Caroline."

**-p&p-**

"What in the world just happened, Darce?" Richard, who was the first to recover a moment after Miss Elizabeth exited the library, glared at his cousin. "Is that how you talk to your lady? If that is so then you are a deuced idiot, cousin. I cannot believe –"

Richard stopped talking once he realised that his Marquess cousin was pacing back and forth, unshed tears evident in his eyes. "I did not –" He ran a hand through his hair. "I did not mean it." He rasped out. "I was frustrated that she got mad and –"

Richard placed a hand on his cousin's shoulder and nodded sympathetically. "We are all in shock, even Miss Elizabeth. I am sure we can all work this out. The two of you just needed to talk to one another calmly."

Darcy nodded and hurried towards the door. However, Mrs Norton, Netherfield's Housekeeper, opened it before he could.

"Lord Ashbourne, Colonel Fitzwilliam, Miss de Bourgh," the woman bowed, "forgive me for intruding but Mr Bingley has asked for your help in the stable, Sirs. The horses have gone wild and the groomsmen were having a trouble calming them down."

"Where is Bingley?" Darcy asked.

"I believe he is having a serious conversation with Miss Bingley in the study, Sir."

"Very well," Darcy nodded in resignation before rushing outside.

Before Richard could follow his cousin outside, he turned to Anne. "Stay here."

He could tell that she was still in shock with what happened earlier so she only nodded silently. Hopefully, they could wrangle up the horses quickly. The sooner they get this over with, the sooner his cousin could talk to Miss Elizabeth.

With one last look at Anne, Richard followed his cousin outside.

**-p&p-**

Louisa Hurst, though the eldest Bingley sibling had always followed her siblings' lead. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that her parents only paid her the attention she needed whenever she was with Charles (the son her parents had dreamed of) and Caroline (their precious youngest child).

Even her marriage happened because Caroline had pushed her into it. Fortunately for Louisa, Humphrey Hurst genuinely cared for her. Still, she had noticed that whenever she spent time with her sister, her husband would mostly ignore her and focused on his food and drink.

When she found out that she was with child the other day, she had asked her husband why he acted distant towards her whenever she was around Caroline. She had been surprised at his response.

"You are not the woman I married whenever you are with her." He had said. "You become selfish, hypocritical, and pretentious like your sister. Nothing like the Louisa I've come to know."

In behalf of her sister, she had been mad at him for saying that. Of course, she would follow Caroline's lead. Caroline had always been the better sister – more beautiful than Louisa, taller than Louisa, more fashionable than Louisa.

Yet, as Louisa Hurst overheard her sister talk to Lady Catherine de Bourgh about such a scandalous gossip, she finally saw what her husband had been telling her. Didn't Caroline realised that even if what she was saying was the truth, implying that Lady Catherine's husband had a child from another woman was not a good thing? Aside from that, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, was well loved in the area. Had Caroline forgotten the glares that were sent on the Lord Ashbourne's direction when he had insulted the lady on their first assembly here?

By the smirk on Caroline's face despite Lady Catherine ignoring her, it seemed that she did not realise the foolishness of her actions. Thank goodness they were only in Hertfordshire and not in London! What if other people saw her behaved like that?

To Louisa's surprise and relief, Charles was already dragging Caroline out of the ballroom after Jane Bennet had spoken to her. Seeing her brother stand up to her sister gave Louisa some courage. If Jane Bennet could make Charles be more of a man like that, then perhaps Louisa could agree to the match. The eldest Miss Bennet did seem to make her brother happy.

Shaking her head, Louisa shook those thoughts out of her head. She could think about Charles and Jane Bennet later. Right now, she needed to make sure that Caroline did not damage their reputation in Hertfordshire.

She had a child to think about now and every action she made would affect her son or daughter. Louisa was done following. It was time she stood up on her own, for the sake of her child.

With her chin held up, she walked towards Mrs Long who had been standing near Caroline and Lady Catherine earlier.

"Mrs Long," she greeted the woman with a polite smile, "I hope you are enjoying the ball. Do forgive my sister. She has too big of an imagination whenever she drinks too much wine."

**-p&p-**

Lady Catherine did not wait for the young lady to confirm that she indeed the person she was looking for. Instead, once Lady Catherine had finally regained her composure, she introduced herself. "I am Lady Catherine de Bourgh."

The young lady's eyes widened at her name by the evident fear in her eyes, Lady Catherine assumed that the young lady had probably come to the same conclusion as Anne. And as much as she would like to explain everything, she did not really have much time. This had to be quick.

Heaven knows that they have only less than an hour before her nephews helped fix the distraction Preston did at Netherfield. And while she did left Mrs Jenkinson a letter that could buy them more time, Lady Catherine was worried that things could go wrong.

She cautiously stepped closer to the young lady and said softly, "You have a gold hair comb with stones of Emerald, Amethyst and Lapis. At the back of it, there was an engraved two roses entwined together surrounded by two crescent moons."

Without waiting for a reply, she pulled out a small miniature of herself from her pocket and showed the back of it to the young lady. The miniature had the same symbol that the hair comb had.

If the young lady had been surprised at hearing her name earlier, she was even more shocked at hearing about the hair comb. Lady Catherine's heart went out the poor girl. If she had a choice, she would have explained everything slowly to the poor nykin **[1]**, but alas they needed to do everything fast.

Grabbing the young lady by the arm, Lady Catherine led her towards the carriage and motioned for her to come in. Thankfully, the young lady complied. Once she was seated beside the young lady, she directed the coachman to head straight to the Longbourn Dower House.

"Listen to me, young lady." The young lady's eyes snapped to hers. "You need to get your hair comb and all your important valuables right now. We need to leave tonight if you wanted to see your mother." Before the young lady could open her mouth to speak, Lady Catherine held a hand up. "Actions now, questions later. There will be people after you and it is better to be careful and cautious. Now, I will wait for you here and my footmen will accompany you. If anyone asks, you were approached by a Mrs Maria Smith, your mother's cousin."

When the young lady nodded, Lady Catherine sighed. "Now, pack quickly and leave a note to your guardians saying that you are safe. Tell them that you will be taking a trip at Bath. Also, if you own any cloaks, bring some and wear one."

The carriage moved for only about two minutes when it suddenly stopped. One of her footmen opened the door and Lady Catherine raised a brow at him. "We are in a hurry. Why did we stop?"

"We spotted one of Lord Ashbourne's personal guards, Ma'am."

Lady Catherine pinched the bridge of his nose. If only she had not promised her siblings and Sophie for the children not to get involved in this, then perhaps it would be easier. Taking a calming breath, Lady Catherine turned back to the footman sharply. "Go with White and Taylor and distract my nephew's guards and any other people out there. Then, go to Preston afterwards. He will know what to do."

When the footman nodded, Lady Catherine turned to the young lady again. "Pack quickly, child. Mulford will be coming with you."

**-p&p-**

Elizabeth was shaken by the turn out of events. Once she was inside the carriage, she had asked the coachman to turn to Oakham Mount instead of heading straight to the Dower House. Then, after seeing her tears, she finally convinced him that she wanted to be left alone.

He did not leave her alone completely though but he did walk a couple of yards away from her. Then a couple of minutes after that, a new carriage arrived. Elizabeth had been surprised to hear that the woman from the carriage was looking for her but that was nothing to the fear she felt when the woman introduced herself as Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

However, it seemed that instead of harming her, Lady Catherine was determined on helping her. Elizabeth was taken aback that Lady Catherine knew about the hair comb that she unconsciously followed the woman when she led Elizabeth to her carriage. It was too late when Elizabeth realised that the coachman that had driven her to Oakham Mount was not one of the Gardiners' employee.

Perhaps it was because she had been hurt by her exchange earlier with Fitzwi –Lord Ashbourne that she needed an escape. Maybe it was because all the people she thought she could trust had kept her in the dark so even though she barely knew Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Elizabeth followed her instructions without a question because the woman would probably answer her questions. If not those, the maybe it was Lady Catherine's knowledge about the gold hair comb that Elizabeth felt obligated to trust her.

Either way, whatever the reason was, as soon as one of Lady Catherine's footmen had given her a sign that Fitz – Lord Ashbourne's guards were distracted, Elizabeth rushed inside the Longbourn Dower House and headed straight to her room.

In a medium sized trunk, she packed the baby clothes and the blanket that the Gardiners had given her the other night. Then, Elizabeth opened the secret hiding place under her bed and placed small the locked box – containing the hair comb and Grandma Claire's letter – into the trunk.

Then she shoved a few gowns, cloaks, and undergarments in the trunk as well. She also took her pocket money from the drawer and placed the small pouch at the top of her trunk. Satisfied, she closed the trunk and wore one of her cloaks. This time, she chose a dark blue coat that could blend in the dark.

Once done, she proceeded to write a small note to the Gardiners so they would not worry about her.

_To Mr and Mrs Gardiner,_

_ Please do not worry about me. Maria Smith, a cousin of my real mother, had approached me when I went outside for some fresh air during the ball. She told me that she knew who my mother was and that she was going to bring me to her. I believe her because she gave me a proof. I know because Grandma Claire's letter told me about what proof should I ask for in case people came looking for me._

_ If anyone else asks about my whereabouts, tell them that I have taken a respite in Bath. I will return soon so please do not worry or look for me._

_Sincerely,_

_Elizabeth._

She placed the note on the bed before carrying her trunk outside the room. When she reached the entrance, the coachman who had driven her earlier at Oakham Mount held out his hands to help her with her trunks.

"Where is Peter?" She asked.

"My cousin is sleeping at Netherfield, Miss. I only put some sleeping herbs in his drink along with the footmen that were with him."

Relieved that the Gardiners' real coachman and other servants were safe, she nodded at him and followed him out of the house. However, before they could go farther, Alexa's voice stopped Lizzy in her tracks.

"What is going on, Miss Lizzy?" Her Abigail asked worriedly. "Why is that man carrying your trunk? Where are you going?"

"I am going to my real mother, Alexa. Her cousin, Maria Smith, had approached me earlier and she has evidence that she was telling the truth."

Alexa smiled a little, "That is great news, Miss Lizzy. I am happy for you." She then frowned. "But why are you leaving all of a sudden?"

"Maria Smith told me that we would be in danger if we delayed our travels."

"Then I am coming with you," Alexa declared.

Elizabeth shook her head. A part of her was still uncertain at coming with Lady Catherine and she did not want for Alexa to suffer the consequences of her decision if something went wrong. "You cannot, Alexa. I do promise to come back, though but please, you have to stay here. Ensure the Gardiners and Mrs Winters that I left willingly and that I am safe… but do not tell anyone that I left tonight. Just say that I have retired in my room."

"Are the Marquess and his cousins accompanying you?"

Her Abigail must've noticed Elizabeth stiffen at the mention of those people for Alexa let out a resigned sigh and squeezed her hands. "I will do as you ask, Miss Lizzy, but you have to promise me two things: be careful and come back soon."

Elizabeth nodded and hugged her Abigail, the closest friend and confidante that she had in her life. "I promise."

"Take care, Miss Lizzy."

With those final words, Alexa Digby watched tearfully as her Mistress walked away and boarded a carriage with the man who was carrying her trunks.

A couple of minutes later, one of Lord Ashbourne's personal guards, Carson approached her. "What are you doing here? Get back inside. We heard something in the woods. Jacobs is already scouting the area but it's still not safe."

Though confused, Alexa furrowed her brows. "What are you doing here?"

"The Marquess sent us to guard Miss Elizabeth secretly. We stayed here when she left for the ball in case someone tried to find her here."

Before Alexa could respond, Jacobs appeared. "Taylor, one of Lady Catherine's footmen, is injured. He said he was chasing a horse running loose. He stumbled and I think he sprained his ankle. White is with him but they need help. What did you find?"

"I heard some noise but it stopped once I got there. When I saw nothing else, I went back here. I was just about to ask Digby if Miss Elizabeth has returned because I think that the Marquess did not want her to attend the ball."

Jacobs turned to Alexa, "Did she return?"

Alexa could tell that these people were very loyal to the Marquess so she nodded her head. She was not really lying since, Miss Lizzy did return. "Yes, she was now resting in her room but she was very upset. I left her to get some fresh air."

It seemed that the two believed her for the next thing she knew, Jacobs got back on his horse to help the injured people he found and Carson told her that he would be staying guard until the Marquess relieved him of his duty.

Alexa looked back at the direction where Miss Lizzy left. Her Mistress was very lucky that Carson and Jacobs had been distracted during her departure.

**-p&p-**

Richard greedily drank the wine Mrs Norton offered once he and Darcy got back in the house. "I say, whoever released a whole bunch of frogs and squirrels by the horses earlier, he is not funny." He filled his drink again with some wine. "Man, I am exhausted."

Across from him, Darcy was drinking his wine as well. However after the second refill, he immediately stood up.

"Where are you going, Darce? Are you not tired? We just got here."

"I needed to see Elizabeth."

At the remembrance of what happened earlier, Richard sobered up and walked next to his cousin. "I am coming with you." The 'to make sure you do not put your foot in your mouth again' left unsaid but Richard knew that Darcy understood that it was implied.

However, just as they were about to reach the door, a frantic Mrs Jenkinson rushed towards them. "Lord Ashbourne, Colonel Fitzwilliam," she curtsied.

"What is the matter?" Richard asked.

"'Tis Lady Catherine, she left hurriedly earlier and she asked me to give you this."

Richard took the letter from Mrs Jenkinson and cursed under his breath as soon as he finished reading it. When Darcy gave him a questioning look, Richard passed the letter to his cousin. A few seconds later, he heard his cousin muttered a few curses of his own.

Richard couldn't blame him. He would feel the same if he had a fight with his betrothed and receive a letter that his mother was ill at the same night. As Darcy tried to regain his composure, Richard forced himself to remain level-headed in the situation. So instead of showing his frustration at the situation, he began questioning Anne's companion. "Where is Lady Catherine?"

"She left in her carriage earlier, Sir. Her trunks hadn't been fully unpacked yesterday so she asked some footmen to bring her trunks to the carriage. I tried to stop her but she gave me this letter instead to give to you. I would have warned you earlier but I cannot find you or Miss Anne."

"Do you know where she was heading?"

"She told me that she would go to London first to talk to her brother before travelling to the Darcy's estate in Scotland with him to see their sister."

Letting out a heavy sigh, Richard thanked Mrs Jenkinson and dismissed her. Then, he led Darcy to the library to talk to Anne.

"What is my mother thinking?" Anne asked aloud, once Richard had finished telling her what happened. "We have to go after her. It is already dark and I fear for her safety."

"You will stay here, Anne. Darcy and I will go." Richard said. "You can follow us in the morning."

"But –"

"It is dangerous, Anne. Darcy and I can go there faster with our horses. You are not use to riding at night. Besides, you need to tell Bingley where his guests had gone."

Anne sighed in defeat but nodded at them. "Go to Lizzy first, though." Then with a guilt in her eyes, she looked directly at Darcy, "I am sorry, cousin. I feel like this is my entire fault. I should never have pressured you in telling the truth."

Darcy shook his head. "The fault is mine. If I didn't say those horrible things, she would not have left."

Richard shook his head. "We are all at fault here; Anne for pushing you to tell the truth, me for bringing the two of you in the library to get along, and Darce for speaking without thinking."

Standing up, Richard led Darcy towards the stables and they saddled their horses. Once they were done, the two of them headed straight to Longbourn Dower House.

They have not even left Netherfield's borders yet when Jacobs arrived two of Lady Catherine's footmen. "What has happened?" Richard asked.

"He was chasing one of the loose horses but he stumbled and we think his foot is sprained." Jacobs answered.

"Is Elizabeth back at the Dower House?"

When Jacobs nodded, Darcy sighed in relief. "After stopping at Dower House, we will be going to London. Will you join us?"

The uninjured footman of Lady Catherine spoke. "I think I can handle it from here Jacobs. You should go with Lord Ashbourne."

A minute later, Jacobs was also riding alongside Richard and Darcy towards the Longbourn Dower House.

**-p&p-**

More than an hour and a half after Alexa bid goodbye to Miss Lizzy, a knocking was heard on the door. Though confused, she still went to see who was visiting at such an hour. To her surprise it was the Marquess and Colonel Fitzwilliam, along with the Marquess' personal guards.

"Where is Elizabeth? Someone told me that she left Netherfield earlier and Jacobs had informed me that she arrived here earlier. Please let me talk to her."

Alexa was about to tell them that her Mistress was not at the house but upon remembering Miss Lizzy's request and the pain that she saw in Miss Lizzy's eyes earlier at the mention of the Marquess, she decided to lie for the second time that night. These people hurt her Mistress and they must have hurt her really bad if Miss Lizzy was so eager to escape. "She cannot talk to anyone right now, Sir."

"Please, just let me apologise to her. I have to see her."

"I am sorry, Lord Ashbourne. But Miss Lizzy told me that she did not want to see anyone at the moment. Please understand."

The Marquess sighed. "Very well," he paused, "would you please tell her that I stopped by?"

Alexa nodded.

"Thank you."

Once the unexpected callers were gone, she sighed.

Alexa did not know whether she was lucky that she was the only servant who had stayed in the house. The Gardiners brought all the footmen with them to make sure Miss Lizzy's safety. But seeing as Miss Lizzy managed to escape, she wasn't protected as the Gardiners thought she would be. Cook and the other maids had already left earlier because the Gardiners had granted them some free time since they will all be eating at the ball. The Gardiner's valet and lady's maid, on the other hand, had decided to visit their relatives, the Hills, at Longbourn.

Alexa did not know whether she made the right decision of seeing Miss Lizzy go so easily. Still, when she saw her Mistress red rimmed eyes earlier, Alexa knew that she couldn't stop her.

Knowing that the Gardiners and Mrs Winters would probably arrive soon, Alexa washed her face to remove any trace of crying. Thank goodness that the Marquess and his guards were too focused on finding Miss Lizzy earlier, or else they might've questioned her.

Another hour and a half had passed before the Gardiners and Mrs Winters arrived. Apparently they have been searching for Miss Lizzy until a servant told them that she must've gone home already. It turned out that the footmen and the coachman they brought with them had been put to sleep, making them worry more. Trying to stop the rumours about Miss Lizzy being a bastard child had also kept them all busy. Aside from that, they were also controlling Fanny Bennet from behaving herself badly. Thomas Bennet had stayed at home with Lydia so the Gardiners and Mrs Winters also made sure that the other Misses Bennet went home safe.

"Where is Lizzy?"

"She is in her room, Mrs Winters." Alexa replied.

Mrs Gardiner sighed. "I'll go see her. She should have known better than to disappear without saying goodbye. She had all of us worried, including Mary and Kitty."

"I do not think that would be a good idea, Ma'am."

Mr Gardiner's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Why not?"

Hesitantly, she answered, "Miss Lizzy had a row with the Marquess earlier. That was why she came back early."

"They are only engaged and he has hurt her already." Mr Gardiner said. "I knew that he was a bad match for her."

"Oh Edward, every couple quarrels from time to time."

"Perhaps I should go check on her?" Mrs Winters suggested.

"No!" Alexa exclaimed a little too quickly. She paused again before giving them a sad look, "I think she is still crying and it will not make her feel better if you see her in such a state."

Alexa inwardly sighed in relief when the three nodded in understanding.

"We will see her tomorrow," said Mr Gardiner.

With that, the Gardiners and Mrs Winters headed to their own chambers. Once she heard the last door shut, let her body slid down the settee. She hoped she did the right thing. Hopefully, Miss Lizzy was safe wherever she was.

**-p&p-**

Elizabeth remained quiet the whole time she was in the carriage with Lady Catherine. The coachman who had assisted her with her trunk did not come with them. Lady Catherine asked him to return the Gardiner carriage back to Netherfield and to guard the real Gardiners' coachman and footmen. Only then could he follow them with someone name Preston and the other footmen that distracted the Marquess' personal guards earlier. When she observed the exchanged, she realised that Lady Catherine had really planned this – taking her away from Hertfordshire.

The curtains were drawn closed so she could not distract herself by the view outside. She was sitting beside Lady Catherine but the woman had yet to speak to her again. If Elizabeth was being honest, she did not think that she was ready to talk to anyone as well.

Because she could not gaze at trees or at the moon, Elizabeth focused her attention to one of the lamps that was giving them light inside the carriage. Though her eyes were directed at the flickering fire, her mind was elsewhere.

Did she really make the right decision of coming with Lady Catherine? What if the woman was just waiting for her to lower her defences before harming her? Then again, Anne had been very kind to her so it was possible that Lady Catherine was kinder than what Fitzwi – Lord Ashbourne had expected the woman to be.

At the thought of him, memories flooded her mind. Weren't it was just earlier today that the two of them had shared their first kiss? They had been fine that morning, acting silly and laughing together. How come it had all come to this?

It was her fault, she thought. She had been so shocked and angry when she found out that he was keeping vital information from her. But didn't she have the right to feel that way? She trusted him… and he broke her trust. How were they going to be living together as man and wife if he could not trust her and if he chose to lie to her when he could tell her the truth?

She smiled ruefully. Perhaps, they were not meant to be man and wife.

His response to her anger proved that. His words echoed in her head even now. '_In marrying you, I will be going expressly against the wishes of my family, my friends, and, I hardly need add, my own better judgment._'

Perhaps it was better this way. If he had been having thoughts like that when they had been engaged, what would happen once they marry? What if those thoughts never left him? He would come to resent her.

Did he even truly love her? Maybe he was just infatuated or attracted to her but he confused it for love.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. It was better this way. Perhaps she was meant to overhear their conversation in the library. That way, she prevented a lifetime of the two of them being miserable with each other. At least, they hadn't announced their engagement yet. It should not be a problem for either of them.

It was the right thing to do – letting Fitzwilliam go. Unlike if they marry, Elizabeth never had to choose between him and her family. When she had accepted his proposal, she had chosen him first. She had agreed that if she had been born out of an unfortunate circumstance, she would only be secretly connected to her family, away from the eyes of society.

Now that she and Fitzwi – Lord Ashbourne were not together anymore, Elizabeth could be with her mother fully, without pretences or hiding. She could focus on herself and the relationship with the family she had longed for.

Yes, it had been better for the two of them. Her memories with Fitzwi– Lord Ashbourne would always have a special place in her heart. _He_ would have a special place in her heart. But after being horribly treated by Mr and Mrs Bennet for so long, Elizabeth owed it to herself to meet and build a good relationship with her real family.

That was what she was going to do. She would use her pain and anger at Fitzwi – Lord Ashbourne to forget her feelings for him. He would move on. She would move on. Hopefully, with the help of her real family, she could.

"We are here," Lady Catherine's voice snapped Elizabeth out of her wool-gathering.

"Where are we?" Since it was the first time she spoke since entering the carriage, her voice sounded hoarse.

"We are at an inn in Bedfordshire. Remember, for tonight, you are Miss Lucy Wilkins, the niece of Penelope Wilkins."

**-p&p-**

Fitzwilliam, Richard, along with Carson and Jacobs, arrived at the Matlock Townhouse, exhausted. After riding almost nonstop for hours, they were all out of breath. He and Richard knew that it was foolish to ride so late at night. But they also knew that they needed to make sure that their Aunt Catherine was safe.

It well known to every member of the family that Lady Catherine never took the news illness well. Whenever one family member was sick, she would always drop everything else in order to go the sick family member immediately.

That was why it only surprised them a little to find out that she had gone immediately after finding out that her sister was sick. Even Fitzwilliam was sick with worry. The last time his mother had been sick was when she had given birth to Georgiana. He did not want to see his mother like that again.

Shaking his head, he waited for the Butler to lead him to his Uncle Matlock's office.

"Is Aunt Catherine here?" Richard asked immediately once they entered.

"Good evening to you too, son." Uncle Francis greeted his cousin. "As for your question, no, my sister is not here. Her messenger arrived here earlier and informed me that she changed her mind and headed to Bedfordshire instead."

He and Richard both slumped into the chairs across his Uncle's table.

"Do not worry about her. Your Aunt can handle herself. You know how she is when one of us gets sick. Now, why don't you boys get some rest in your rooms and I will ask Mrs Gillard to send you some tea and bread. You do not want to wake my wife up now, do you?"

Fitzwilliam and Richard shook their heads. As much as he loved his Aunt Elinor, he knew that she would scold them for riding out in the night once she had finished fussing over them like little boys. Rest sounded good. He knew that his and Richard's room here at the Matlock Townhouse were always ready for them since he and Richard seemed to have a knock for surprise visits. Hopefully, the food that Mrs Gillard, Matlock's Housekeeper in Town, would send to them could make him feel better.

Following his Uncle's lead, Fitzwilliam went to his room and ate the food that was served to him. Soon after that, his body collapsed on the bed. He was exhausted – both physically and mentally – and as much as he wanted to think about how his mother or Elizabeth was faring, his eyes closed against his will.

Soon, he drifted into a deep sleep.

**-p&p-**

Francis Fitzwilliam, the Earl of Matlock, ran a hand through his hair once he got back on his study. He prayed that his sister Catherine would be alright. They were playing a dangerous game by getting involved once again. Especially, since the last time he heard about Samuel Paxton, the man was still in good health. But alas, his sisters were very stubborn.

His youngest sister, Anne, did not even leave the situation despite knowing the fact that it would be dangerous, saying that she was already involved either way. Catherine had stopped getting involved when her daughter Anne had been born but once Anne had been declared healthy by the physicians, Catherine was back on the case once again.

And according to Catherine's express letter he had received earlier, she had found what they had been looking for.

It only meant one thing. Sooner or later, he would have to get involved too. His wife would be happy to hear the news. Wary for their safety, yes, but happy nonetheless. She had been separated with her friends for too long.

**-p&p-**

When Elizabeth woke up that morning, a woman, who introduced herself as Lady Catherine's Abigail, assisted her in taking a bath and dressing up before leading her to a private seating room where Lady Catherine was sitting.

"Come sit," Lady Catherine said, gesturing to the chair across her. "Let us break our fast together. Eat as much as you can, we have a long day ahead of us."

Upon seeing the various foods on the table, Elizabeth acquiesced. She did not even realised how hungry she was until she took her first bite of the tasty bread. Lady Catherine was eating too, but Elizabeth could tell that the woman was watching her.

Halfway through the meal, Elizabeth finally broke the silence. "I did not realise that your Abigail travelled with us."

"Perhaps you didn't notice because the curtains of the carriage were closed, but my Abigail and a maid, along with a few other footmen, were following us in another carriage. They were already at an inn at the skirts of Hertfordshire so you did not notice when they joined us."

Elizabeth nodded, trying to process this information. She was right at her guess last night. Lady Catherine had planned their travels thoroughly.

"Not that I do not appreciate it, your Ladyship, but why are you being so nice to me?"

Lady Catherine smiled. "I was wondering when are you going to ask that, but I supposed your mind was elsewhere last night." She paused and took a sip of her drink. "To answer your question, isn't one supposed to be nice to be nice to her Goddaughter?"

* * *

**[1] Nykin – **(Origin: Late 17th century English) Definition: This one appears to be fairly general in meaning — it was first used in a play in 1693, and quietly disappeared. For all we know, it was something the play's author, William Congreve, made up — but "kin" was a common suffix in 13th-16th century English to make something sound small and cute.

**Tada! Poor Richard and Darcy being sent on false errands planned by Lady Catherine. To  twilight reader too, your guess about Lady C is correct so kudos to you : ) **

**Okay, so I do not like Lady Catherine in the books but reading various fanfics about her and watching Pride and Prejudice and Zombies had somehow endeared her to me and it was showing in my writing. At least, in this story.**

**Anyway, I do not like Caroline Bingley but I think that I was nice to her in this story. This is a onetime thing because I really dislike her. I've never been fond of people who try to ruin my OTP.**

**As for Lizzy's decision in coming to Lady Catherine, she was not thinking it thoroughly. She decided based on her emotions. After finding out that the people she trusted were the ones being untruthful to her, what would go wrong if she went with a person she barely knew who appeared ready to tell her the truth? So yes, not exactly wise but at this point she felt that she had nothing left to lose.**

**What do you guys think?**

**See you in the next chapter!**


	19. Chapter 19

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 18 – Louisa Hurst decided to make her own decisions. Lizzy left with Lady Catherine. Alexa delayed the others from finding the truth about Lizzy's whereabouts. Darcy and Richard went to London.**

* * *

"G-goddaughter?" Elizabeth echoed. She was thankful that she had already swallowed her food or she would have choked in surprised.

"Yes, I am your Godmother." Lady Catherine confirmed, refilling their tea cups. "Let me guess, you thought that you are the bastard child of my husband from another woman?"

"How did –"

"How did I know? I suspected that my daughter and nephews had come to that conclusion. You see, nykin, this is why one should not go through other person's belongings without permission." Lady Catherine then proceeded to tell Elizabeth the story of how Anne and Richard opened her secret box where they found letters about her husband having an affair which had planted the seed of their speculation.

"It is true that my husband had an affair behind my back and that it resulted in a bastard child but it's not you."

When Lady Catherine also mentioned that her miniature of Claire Bennet was missing, Elizabeth could not help but feel a little hurt. Did that mean that the cousins had long suspected her to be Lady Catherine's husband's bastard child? While she now knew that it was not the truth, she did not like the fact that Fitzwi – Lord Ashbourne and his cousins had kept it from her for so long.

Once Lady Catherine had finished her story, she looked at Elizabeth and asked, "How long had you known that you are not truly a Bennet?"

Elizabeth gazed down at her food, "I have only known about it for a week."

Lady Catherine frowned, "You poor dear, no wonder why you are always lost in thought. How come you still came with me willingly?"

"You told me about the hair comb. Grandma Claire informed me to only trust those who knew about it." She paused, avoiding eye contact, "Besides, no one was giving me the answers I wanted so I decided that coming with you was worth the risk."

Upon noticing that was much more to it than her Goddaughter's response, Lady Catherine decided to change the subject. As much as she would like to find out more about the young lady, she could tell that the poor nykin was still overwhelmed by everything. "As much as I like breaking my fast with you, young lady, we will be leaving in half an hour so I suggest that you finish your meal. Agnes will be bringing us some hot chocolate later."

Elizabeth perked up at the mention of the sweet beverage. "Hot chocolate?"

When she noticed Lady Catherine looking at her amusedly, she blushed in embarrassment.

"Oh, no need to be embarrassed," Lady Catherine waved her hand in the air with a smile, "your mother was the same whenever sweets were mentioned. Though, I do suspect that you share your father's partialness to butter."

Elizabeth looked at Lady Catherine in wonderment. "My father?"

"Why yes, do you think that you came to this world just by your mother?"

She shook her head and laughed a little at Lady Catherine's words. "It's just that, this whole week all I've been hearing about is my mother. It surprised me when you mentioned my father."

"Well, you better be used to talking about your father, young lady," Lady Catherine warned, "I daresay that your mother could never have a conversation without mentioning him at least once. Your father was the same. Truly, I always try to make an excuse to get away whenever they started singing praises to each other."

Elizabeth's eyes widened. "They are a love match?"

Lady Catherine nodded. "Are you happy to hear that they are?"

"Very," Elizabeth smiled.

She truly was happy about it. Elizabeth had always dreamed of marrying for love and hearing that her parents were a love match brought her joy. Of course, she would love her real parents regardless of their situation but knowing that they could be the family she had always longed for… it was something else entirely.

Her happy thoughts did not last long, however. Was she born before they got married? Was that why she was given away? Did they send her away to avoid a scandal? Why did they want her back now, after eighteen years? And why was her Godmother the one to fetch her and not her parents?

"I can see that your mind is running wild again," Lady Catherine brought her out of her thoughts.

"Am I that easy to read?" Elizabeth could not help but asked. While she was close with Mary, Kitty, Mrs Winters, the Lucases and the Gardiners, they were fooled by her facial expressions half the time. It was why they could never tell whenever she was up to some mischief – like sneaking out of the house, spying on Jane and her suitor, or secretly befriending Lady Amelia and meeting Lord Ashbourne in the Gardiner Warehouse. As far as Elizabeth knew, only her Abigail, Alexa could truly decipher her moods.

Lady Catherine shook her head. "Your mother is a dear friend of mine and you look a lot like her. You have almost the same expressions. Now, what is it that made you frown? I thought you are happy that your parents are a love match?"

"I am happy," she said, "but I wonder at what could be their reason for giving me away."

"Never doubt your parents' love for you, nykin." Lady Catherine told her solemnly. "Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to tell you their reason, I think it would be better if you hear it from them. Besides, an inn is no place to talk about such private matters."

Elizabeth nodded in understanding and finished her meal. Soon, Agnes, Lady Catherine's Abigail entered the room with a mug of hot chocolate. After Elizabeth had finished savouring the sweet drink, they rested for a little while and Elizabeth wrote a letter to both the Gardiners and Alexa, informing them that she was well. Not much later, they were back on the road to bring Elizabeth to her family.

**-p&p-**

About two hours later after Elizabeth and Lady Catherine had finished breaking their fast, Madeline Gardiner, Edward Gardiner and Sarah Winters, were waiting for Lizzy to join them at the dining table.

"Alexa," Madeline called, "has Lizzy come out of her room yet?"

The Abigail shook her head.

"I will go and check." Mrs Winters said. "Maybe last night has taken a toll on her."

As Mrs Winters left to go upstairs to Lizzy's room, Madeline looked at her husband. "I know you are worried about Lizzy, we all are, but please do not say anything anymore against her engagement with the Marquess. It will not make her feel better."

"I know. I will apologise later." Edward sighed. "If I am being honest I'm not really opposed to the match. I know Lord Ashbourne to be an honourable man and Lizzy would not have accepted him if they do not love each other. I am just worried because their names are on Claire's list."

Madeline nodded. "I hope whatever misunderstanding she had with the Marquess can be fixed soon. I do not like seeing Lizzy upset."

"As do I," Edward nodded. "What do you think was their misunderstanding about?"

Madeline was about to answer her husband's question but the sound of Mrs Winters' loud footsteps interrupted her. Why was Sarah running?

"Lizzy is not in her room," Mrs Winters spoke first before the Gardiners could question her. "I looked around her room and she has some missing clothes. This note was placed on her bed." She held out the folded note to the Gardiners with tears in her eyes.

With shaking hands, Edward took the note and read it.

Beside him, Madeline let out a gasp. "Do you think they found her?"

"I do not know." Edward answered. "Graham," he called for their head footman, "Ask the stablemen to prepare the carriage."

Graham nodded and bowed.

"We will go to Lucas Lodge first," Edward stated. "See if they saw this Maria Smith. Then, we'll see what we can do from them."

Meanwhile, Alexa Digby returned to her room and opened up the letter she had found at Miss Lizzy's vanity desk last night. Once the Gardiners had retired last night, she had searched Miss Lizzy's room for clues. Alexa was sure that her mistress would not leave her in the dark.

And she was right, for at the top drawer of Miss Lizzy's vanity desk (their usual hiding place for letters back then, when Miss Lizzy would sneak out without permission) Alexa found a letter.

_Alexa,_

_I am hoping you would find this letter… And when you do, please keep it to yourself. My curiosity has gotten the best of me again. Well, you know me. I know you must be mad at me for involving you in my impulsive actions once again. To be honest, I am uncertain myself if this is what I should really do. However, I am desperate for answers._

_Let me do this please. A foolish decision it may be, but I need to take this chance. Digby, I trust you to keep this a secret. You have always been my closest friend._

_Can you believe that you are still able to put up with me? A true friend, you are, indeed. To make it up to you, my friend, I promise to write on the morrow. Have it your way and tell the truth to everyone if I did not do that. Everyone, in my opinion, means the Gardiners and the Lucases. Report to them how I lied and impart them of our secret. If, however, a letter arrived to-morrow night, then do keep this a secret for a little longer. Not telling anyone is hard, I know, and I am sorry for putting all of this on you. Eager as you are to share what you know, I know that you would not._

_Do not worry about me, Alexa. Elizabeth shall be safe. Be sure to keep that in mind. On that note, I shall be ending this letter now. Uncle Gardiner has his own letter on my bed. Read its contents but leave it on my bed afterwards. Good night, my friend, I should be going now. Horses – I cannot believe I almost forgot! – take care of Apollo for me._

_Love,_

_Lizzy._

_P.S. I am serious. I shall write tomorrow and the next days to inform you of my well-being. If anything goes wrong, I am sorry for putting the burden on you. I do hope you found out who Maria Smith is._

Alexa sighed. The letter might have looked like an ordinary one but it was not. It was the clue that Miss Lizzy had left her. She was now the only one who knew the truth. Miss Lizzy was not with a woman named Maria Smith. She was with Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Miss Lizzy had managed to inform Alexa about it using their secret code. The first letters of every sentence in Miss Lizzy's letter indicated the truth about the situation.

On one hand, Alexa was relieved. Miss Lizzy left her the real information. If anything went wrong, Alexa's knowledge about the real situation would be their first clue to Miss Lizzy's whereabouts. On the other hand, she sometimes wished that her mistress didn't trust her so much. What if she told the Gardiners too late and something bad had already happened to Miss Lizzy? Or what if she told them too early and Miss Lizzy did not want to be found?

Looking up at the ceiling, Alexa closed her eyes and began to pray. Miss Lizzy was going to owe her for this.

**-p&p-**

Meanwhile, in London, at the Matlock Townhouse, Fitzwilliam Darcy had just woken up. Upon seeing that it was already ten o'clock in the morning, he rang the bell for a servant to prepare his bath and to help him get dressed up for the day. Usually, he would wake up three – sometimes even four – hours earlier, but he supposed that his body had taken a toll last night.

Calming down a horse was not hard for him, given his love for riding, but many horses had been frantic last night. He and Richard, along with some stablemen, had to walk around Netherfield to find the other horses who managed to run away. Fortunately, they hadn't gone that far.

The situation still made him curious, though. It looked like whoever played that prank must have really wanted the stablemen to suffer, considering that the stables were found unlocked. That was why the horses had come to different directions when they have been startled by frogs and squirrels.

Shaking his head, he headed towards the dining room where his Aunt and Uncle Matlock were already breaking their fast with Richard and Cousin Matilda, Richard's youngest sibling.

"Nephew, how was your sleep?" His Aunt Elinor asked.

"I slept fine, Aunt."

Aunt Elinor nodded in acknowledgement. "You and Richard should not ride out that late again, William. Your mother will not be pleased."

"Anne is worried about Aunt Catherine, Mother. We all are." Richard reasoned.

"I understand that but your Aunt is not stupid," Aunt Elinor countered, "she only travels with the best carriage and footmen as she often boast so. Your mothers would appreciate it if you do not put yourselves in danger. What if you encountered some ruffian on the loose?" She paused, staring at both Fitzwilliam and Richard, as if daring them to challenge her.

Fitzwilliam and Richard looked down at their plates. One could not argue with Elinor Fitzwilliam, especially in situations when safety was involved. "It would not make your mother feel better if she found out that you travelled on horseback so late at night, William. And you, Richard, what about me, your poor mother? Do you like seeing me suffer? Was that why you joined the army and refused to study the law or become a clergyman?"

"Forgive us, Aunt," Fitzwilliam said, "it will not happen again."

Aunt Elinor nodded at him before looking expectantly at her son.

"I am sorry too, Mother," Richard finally said. "If it makes you feel better, though, I shall be selling my commission before the end of the year. You see, I have proposed to Anne and she has accepted me. Aunt Catherine had also given us her blessings the other day."

What happened next surprised both Fitzwilliam and Richard.

As soon as Richard finished his statement, Cousin Matilda got up from her chair and kissed her mother on the cheek. "Thank you, Mama."

Aunt Elinor smiled. "I told you, your brother would try to make me feel better by telling me good news whenever I try to make him feel guilty."

Fitzwilliam watched with amusement as Richard stared at his mother and sister incredulously. "I've been played?"

The two women only shared a laugh.

"I am serious about my scolding though." Aunt Elinor said.

"Do not worry, brother, at least you do not owe me a favour." Matilda smiled. "Speaking of," she paused, looking at the doorway, "Good Morning, Henry. Did you know that Richard is now engaged to Cousin Anne and that Aunt Catherine had already given him her permission?"

Henry, who had just arrived, blinked twice at Matilda before sitting down next to Fitzwilliam with a groan. "I thought you are waiting for at least another year before proposing?" He glared at Richard.

"That was months ago," Richard defended, "things change. Besides, what does your bad mood have to do with me? Besides, aren't you supportive of my relationship with Anne?"

"Don't mind him, brother," Matilda said cheerfully, "He's just mad because he lost the bet about when you and Cousin Anne would get engaged. Now, he has no choice but to let Mr Marlowe call on me."

"What?!" Richard exclaimed at the same time Henry scowled. "You are too young to receive suitors."

Matilda only smiled, "That's what Henry said too, so we made a bet. Too bad he lost." She paused, taking a sip of her tea, "besides, I am already out. For _months_ now, in case you have forgotten."

Richard shook his head before turning at his elder brother. "How could you let her win?"

"Me?" Henry asked in disbelief. "'Tis you who let her win. You're the one who proposed to Anne _this_ year."

"But why would you bet on that?" Richard protested.

Henry deadpanned. "You have wagered on when I would stop courting Lady Lettice."

"That was years ago," Richard argued, "besides, that was different."

"How so?"

Before Richard could open his mouth to respond, Matilda cut in. "Oh, do stop fighting. There is still one other way to retract my win."

Richard snapped his head at his sister, "What?"

"If Cousin Ashbourne somehow got engaged as well – which is impossible, no offense cousin –"

Before his Cousin could go any further, Fitzwilliam swallowed the last of his bacon and took one last sip of his coffee before excusing himself and walking out of the dining room.

"Did I say something wrong?" He heard Matilda asked.

"No, he was probably having a headache. We did travel late last night."

He sighed when he heard Richard's response. At least he could be sure that his favourite cousin wouldn't reveal anything to his family. Fitzwilliam did not think that he could deal with it right now. Not when Elizabeth had basically ended their engagement last night.

He kicked the foot of his bed in frustration. Why did he say those things? Elizabeth had a right to be angry with him. So much had happened to her in a span of one week. In such a short period of time she found out that she was not truly a part of the family she grew up with, that the people she trusted had lied to her, so of course, it would be natural for her to be mad when she found out that he had lied to her.

Even if he was only thinking about what was best for her. Hadn't that been the same reasoning of the Gardiners and the Lucases?

Fitzwilliam sighed. He understood where her anger was coming from. He had done the same thing she thought he would never do to him. By keeping what he knew a secret, he had broken her trust. And of all people, he should be the last one who would do that. He was her betrothed, after all. He should have treated her equally. She had always been open to him, even when she found it hard to talk. He should've done the same to her.

Running a hand through his hair, he looked up at the ceiling and sighed. He would fix this. He had to. He would not lose Elizabeth. He couldn't.

**-p&p-**

"We did not notice any new faces that came to the ball last night," said Sir William Lucas, "even if there were newcomers, I am sorry to say that my family has been distracted. You see, Colonel Forster has proposed to Charlotte last night so each one of us was lost in our own world."

Edward Gardiner sighed, "I understand. I am just worried for Lizzy."

Sir William nodded, "I am too. I am sure that once my wife and daughters received the news, they'll be worried too."

"Where are they anyway?" Madeline asked.

"Mother and my sisters were visiting Colonel Forster's sister today." John Lucas answered.

"What are we going to do about Lizzy?" Mrs Winters asked.

"I'll send some men to search for nearby inns and –"

"No!" Everyone turned their attention to Lizzy's Abigail who interrupted Edward Gardiner.

Mrs Winters narrowed her eyes at the girl suspiciously. "What is it you're not telling us, Alexa?"

The lady's maid fiddled with her fingers before looking at the others guiltily. "I was there when Miss Lizzy was about to leave the house with her things."

This earned a gasp from the other occupants in the room.

"She came with this Maria Smith willingly. She asked me to delay telling you about it – that's why I'm only speaking about it now. But you have to let Miss Lizzy go, she was looking for answers and none of you have it here. She will not be at peace until she learned everything."

Alexa took a deep breath before continuing, "Also, I am not lying when I told you that she and the Marquess had a misunderstanding. There was no stopping her from leaving Hertfordshire. Can we not trust her in this?"

"I agree," John Lucas seconded, "All of you had been making the decisions for Eliza for years now. It's time to let her make her own choices. Besides, after all that's happened this week, she needed some space." Just when the elder men were about to argue with him, John continued speaking. "I am not saying that we will not investigate about where this Maria Smith took her, though. But once we are sure that she's safe, we will not take any more actions. It shall be Eliza's choice to reach out to us once again."

"Miss Lizzy did promise to come back," Alexa added.

Before the others could agree or disprove, Mrs Gardiner's exclamation made everyone's eyes turn to her. "I found it!" She held up her diary for all of them to see and pointed at it. "Maria Smith was the person who gave Lizzy to Claire. She must've really come back for her."

Mr Gardiner sighed. "Very well, but we will still look for news about her whereabouts to make sure that she's safe."

After receiving nods of agreement from everyone else in the room, they decided to start their investigation – starting with their footmen and coachmen who somehow fell asleep last night.

**-p&p-**

When Fitzwilliam and Richard announced that they would be returning back to Hertfordshire to fetch Anne before heading to Farris House on Scotland to check on Fitzwilliam's mother, his Uncle Francis insisted on coming with them, saying that he needed to check on his sisters.

This made Fitzwilliam worried. He couldn't have his Uncle finding out about him and Elizabeth. Not yet, especially now when he and Elizabeth had yet to speak about their argument at Netherfield.

However, when he managed to sneak out – with the help of Anne and Richard, distracting Uncle Francis – and go to the Longbourn Dower House, his worries about his Uncle was replaced and all he could think of was Elizabeth.

At first, they had told her that she was visiting Bath and had left earlier that morning. He thought that they were lying to him so he did not believe them. His resolve to talk to Elizabeth must have worn them out, for eventually Mr Gardiner sighed and told him to search around the house.

Though it was very tempting, he did not do that. Instead he sighed and asked them to inform that he would be leaving Hertfordshire to check on his mother who was sick but he would be back once he made sure that everything was alright. Elizabeth needed space because he had hurt her, he had to respect that.

"I understand. We will inform you once, Lizzy returns." Mrs Gardiner told him.

After thanking the woman, Fitzwilliam stopped by at Lucas Lodge to talk to John Lucas. He may believe Mrs Gardiner's words but he thought that it would be better if he had another way of communicating through, Elizabeth.

Once John Lucas had agreed on informing him once Elizabeth comes back, Fitzwilliam wasted no time and returned back to Netherfield. He still needed to talk to Bingley, after all. Before coming to Netherfield, he had promised his friend to help him in managing an estate, and while he did fulfill it, it was still not enough. Half of the time he was always visiting Elizabeth, and now he had to leave urgently.

"Do not worry about it, Ashbourne," Bingley assured him with a smile, "your mother is more important. By the way, I am sorry that you did not get the chance to announce your betrothal to Miss Elizabeth last night."

Fitzwilliam cleared his throat, "Yes, it was alright, Bingley. I think it would be better to make announcements once my mother's health improves."

"I shall send you regards to your Miss Elizabeth when I visit, then."

"Please do, once she returns. I believe she is also taking care of a relative in Bath." As much as Fitzwilliam dislike lying, he couldn't find it in him to tell the truth to Bingley. That Elizabeth was not caring for a distant relative. She left because they had fought.

Bingley shook his head, "Bad timing then."

He nodded.

"I am sure it would get better," Bingley said, and then his normal happy countenance changed into a rare serious one. "I…" he paused, as if searching for the right words. "I am sorry about my sister's behaviour last night. I had already talked to Caroline last night about it and she would be leaving for Scarborough to visit our Aunt soon. Do not worry about the rumours. I believe Louisa had managed to quell it last night. Besides, the people here in Hertfordshire are very fond of Miss Elizabeth."

Fitzwilliam's brows furrowed at his friend's words. "Rumours? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, right, I forgot that you left last night to go after your Aunt." Bingley sighed. "Caroline started telling people about how Miss Elizabeth was a bastard daughter of your Aunt's husband, but as I said. Louisa had corrected Caroline's lies and no one believed her."

Before he could ask Bingley further on the subject, his Uncle had declared that they should be leaving now if they wanted to reach Farris House sooner. It would be about four to five days of travel so they really ought to be going.

Once inside the carriage, sitting beside Richard, Fitzwilliam still could not get his mind off of what Bingley had told him. Fortunately, on the second inn that they had stopped by on their second day of travelling, his Uncle had immediately retired, causing an opportunity for the three cousins to talk in private.

"According to Mrs Hurst, Caroline had managed to talk to my mother about Lizzy possibly being my half-sister." Anne explained. "I was so worried about it but Mrs Jenkinson told me that before my mother could search for Lizzy, she had received an express about your mother's health cousin."

Fitzwilliam was thankful for that. At least Lady Catherine's impulsive actions whenever one of them was sick helped them through this situation.

He'd talk to Elizabeth once she got back from Bath. Right now, Fitzwilliam forced himself to focus his thoughts on his family. His father was the one who had written the express to his Aunt Catherine. That meant that his mother was seriously sick, for his father would not make the whole family worry about his mother if it was only nothing.

Hopefully, his mother would be alright.

**-p&p-**

Edward Gardiner sighed when he realised that someone intentionally put sleeping herbs on his footmen and coachmen. The person they suspected to put something on the drink was Peter's cousin. However, it seemed that the man had left Netherfield with his employers.

They were worried about Lizzy. The only comfort they found later that night when a letter came from the handwriting of her niece, telling them that she was safe and that they need not worry about her.

Perhaps, John Lucas and Digby were right. This was what Lizzy needed to do. Hopefully, they'll hear from her again soon.

Alexa also received a letter from Lizzy and the Abigail was not surprised when the Gardiners and Mrs Winters also decided to read the letter she received from Miss Lizzy. Luckily, no one else knew about their secret code and the letter was pretty much the same that the Gardiners received, only longer and with more inquiries about Apollo, the tenants, Charlotte and the Bennet sisters.

The Gardiners and Mrs Winters suspected that it was because Miss Lizzy was talking to someone who was about her age but Alexa knew better. Her letter was longer because Miss Lizzy informed her that she and Lady Catherine were about to leave an inn in Bedfordshire where they stayed at under the name of 'Wilkins'.

Over the next days, they received a letter from Elizabeth on the evenings. Seeing as what Miss Lizzy had written to the Gardiners was only a shorter version of her letters to Alexa, the Gardiners and Mrs Winters did not think much about it.

Alexa, on the other hand, was keeping track on where Miss Lizzy was going – every inn, every county, names of servants, whatever she could find. On the third day, Alexa found out that Miss Lizzy's destination was on Leicester. Since the letters kept coming, Alexa continued to keep her mistress' secrets. If anything went wrong, then she would tell the Gardiners everything.

**-p&p-**

"Do you play any instruments?" Lady Catherine asked.

"Yes, the pianoforte, Your Ladyship." Elizabeth answered. "However, I confess that after Grandma Claire passed away I did not take enough time to practice as I ought to."

At the beginning of their ride, Elizabeth had been curious why Lady Catherine was suddenly asking her these questions. The past few days of their journey, the two of them had been mostly quiet except for their casual conversations whenever they were eating meals.

However, once Lady Catherine explained the reason for her sudden interrogation ("I had only been quiet these past few days because I can see that you needed some time to think about everything that's happening to you. But since this is our last day of travelling, what kind of Godmother do you think I am if I did not bother getting to know my Goddaughter a little bit?"), Elizabeth answered all the woman's questions happily.

"What about singing?"

She dipped another strawberry into the small jar of cream and answered. "I like my voice well enough."

"Do you draw?"

Elizabeth nodded and finished eating her strawberry before answering. "I believe that I do well using pencils **[1]**, but when it comes to painting, I am never satisfied with my work. It seemed that I cannot truly capture my subject as I mostly do when using a pencil."

"Hmm" was Lady Catherine's only response as she ate from her own basket of strawberries.

They were on their third and last day of travel now. When they had left the inn they had stayed at on Bedfordshire, she and Lady Catherine boarded another carriage. It did not have the de Bourgh crest but it was still spacious and comfortable. Lady Catherine had told her that they needed to ride this particular carriage so that they would not get any unwanted attention.

Apparently, bad people could be after them. Whenever they stayed at an inn, Lady Catherine always changed their names. And if they wanted to buy something, either Lady Catherine's maids or one of the footmen would procure it for them. Like the basket of strawberries they were now eating. The last town they had passed had an old man selling some fruits and so Lady Catherine asked one of her servants to buy some.

Lady Catherine told her that if she was like her parents, then that meant that she also loved to eat fruits. And while Elizabeth did love eating fruits, the purpose of the strawberries she was eating was not to fill her hunger. It was meant to calm her nerves.

Finally, after days of travelling, she would be meeting her parents in a matter of hours.

According to Lady Catherine, it would take only about two days of travel if they took the direct route. However, since they were taking extra precautions, they had made some stops on the boarders of nearby counties from time to time.

"Can you ride?"

"Yes, I have a gelding named Apollo back in Hertfordshire."

Lady Catherine look intrigued at this for she stopped placing the strawberry in her mouth and raised a brow. "Were you the one to name him?"

"I am." Elizabeth smiled. "Since my second name is Artemis, I thought it was only fitting."

"What an unusual name." Lady Catherine commented before finally eating her strawberry. "It's from the Greek Mythology, is it not? The Goddess related to the moon, if I am not mistaken."

"Yes, Artemis is the Greek Goddess of the hunt, the wilderness, wild animals, _the moon_ and chastity. I thought that my name was very strange too, that's why I rarely mention it." Elizabeth paused. "I assume that it is not my real name?"

Lady Catherine seemed to think about it before finally saying: "You'll find out the answer to that in a few hours."

Though curious, Elizabeth did not press any further. After all, she was more nervous to meet her parents than to know about her real name.

"I have to say, though," Lady Catherine said, "Claire Bennet was a very clever woman. You do not know the struggle that woman had put me through. She had tricked me for weeks before figuring out her real identity and finding you. I like her very much when I was younger but after she had me confused in trying to find her, I do not know whether to admire her more or to like her less."

Elizabeth gasped. "You know Grandma Claire?"

Lady Catherine nodded, "Yes, she worked as your mother's governess and companion back then."

"But how come you did not find her sooner?"

"She used a different name while working for your family."

Elizabeth only nodded in response. She had an idea why Grandma Claire changed her name. Perhaps it was her husband's betrayal that made her do it. Lady Lucas did say that Grandma Claire left Hertfordshire for years and only returned once her husband had fallen ill.

"Do you speak other languages?" Lady Catherine's question brought her out of thoughts.

For the next hour and a half, Elizabeth answered all of Lady Catherine's queries and sometimes, she even asked questions of her own. Once they had both finished eating their strawberries, Lady Catherine took it as a silent signal to end her interrogation.

Elizabeth was thankful for that because only five minutes after they had finished eating, Lady Catherine took a little peek from the partly closed curtains of the carriage and informed her that they would be arriving in fifteen minutes.

The closer they got, the more Elizabeth felt herself become more nervous. She could feel her sweaty palms underneath her gloves and she could hear her heartbeat beating loudly at her ears.

Because the curtains were only partially open, Elizabeth could not distract herself by the view outside. Instead, she began fiddling with the basket on her lap. Then, when she realised that fiddling with the basket could mess the skirt of her gown, she straightened her posture and removed the basket from her lap, placing it on the space beside her.

She tried taking deep breaths and straightened her clothes more than three times.

"Do not worry too much, nykin," Lady Catherine said from across her, "your parents will care more about you than your clothes."

She nodded and tried to keep herself still. Then a few moments later, the carriage pulled to a stop. "This is Rosewood Manor, your parents' favourite estate."

What she saw when she stepped outside made her even more anxious. From Lady Catherine's stories, Elizabeth assumed that her real parents were slightly wealthier than the Bennets. However, she was taken aback to see that the manor in front of her was a stone building more than twice the size of Netherfield.

It was surrounded by greeneries and the setting down of the sun made the place look magical. Before she could look around further, Lady Catherine looped her arms around her and led her inside until they reached a yellow drawing room. The Butler only nodded at Lady Catherine and the footmen only watched them quietly, along with a few maids that they had passed.

From under her lavender cloak, Elizabeth could see two figures standing in front of her and Lady Catherine. Wanting to get a better look at them, Elizabeth slowly removed her cloak and looked up.

The woman in front of her had mahogany locks that were styled in an elaborate bun with some loose curls to frame her face. She was wearing a simple yet elegant blue gown. Like her grandmother had said in her letter, the woman looked almost exactly like Elizabeth. If it was not for the woman's grey eyes, Elizabeth could have mistaken the woman as a reflection of an older version of herself. Beside the woman, was a man with dark brown hair, wearing a dark green coat that intensified the colour of his own green eyes… green eyes that were the same colour as Elizabeth's…

As Lady Catherine spoke her next words, tears were slowly gathering at the corner of Elizabeth's eyes. "Nykin, this is your mother, the Duchess of Leicester, Her Grace, Sophia Diana Leighton and your father, the Duke of Leicester, His Grace, Augustus Arthur Leighton."

**[1] **Graphite came into widespread use following the discovery of a large graphite deposit in Borrowdale, England in 1564. Appreciated for leaving a darker mark than lead, the mineral proved so soft and brittle that it required a holder. Originally, graphite sticks were wrapped in string. Later, the graphite was inserted into hollowed-out wooden sticks and, thus, the wood-cased pencil was born! (source: /pages/the-history-of-the-pencil)

* * *

**Poor Alexa, the only one receiving clues from Lizzy. If you don't get the 'secret code' look at only the fir****st letter in every sentence and read it. It should read, "I am with Lady Catherine de Bourgh."**

**Why didn't Lizzy just tell Alexa straight about it during their talk in the previous chapter? Lizzy had one of Lady Catherine's employee's with her. Besides, Alexa knew Lizzy enough where to search for answers.**

**So yeah… That happened. Too much? Don't worry, I promise that Lizzy and Darcy will get together soon – somewhere in the next four chapters, I think. This misunderstanding is not going to last long, since as most of you had said; this is not the Hunsford moment. I just want them to deal with their own families first - I can't explain further without giving out spoilers. I understand if you do not like the direction I took but I do hope that you guys stick around.**

**Is that okay with you guys? I hope you do stick around until the end of this book. My goal is to finish this around March because I'm really itching to write other stories. I'll try to update quicker but now I'll be sticking to one chapter per week. School is going to start tomorrow. **

**Because of this reason, UPDATES will be EVERY SUNDAY. I can't on weekdays anymore and my Saturday is for doing homework.**

**Also, about the travelling time I'm not sure if I am right. I based it on Google depending on how long it would take from point A to point B when walking and add a couple of hours because the roads back then weren't as good as it was now and because they use carriages. If it's wrong, then feel free to correct me : )**


	20. Chapter 20

**I apologise for the late update, it's still Sunday in where I am but it's evening now and I do plan to post the chapter this morning. However, it seemed that I have overestimated myself in finishing my schoolwork faster or have underestimated the amount of activities our teachers have in-stored for us.**

**Anyway, enjoy reading :)**

**RECAP:**

**Chapter 19 – Darcy went back to Hertfordshire before heading to Scotland with Richard, Anne and his Uncle to check on his mother. Lady Catherine got to know Lizzy a little bit more and Lizzy finally gets to meet her parents.**

* * *

Elizabeth did not know who moved first. All that she knew was that one moment she was staring wide eyed at the man and woman in front of her, and the next, she was being engulfed between them. As she closed her eyes and savoured their embrace, tears finally fell down her eyes.

It felt like an eternity before they pulled apart but Elizabeth knew that only a couple of minutes had passed. Despite the end of the hug, the woman did not let go of Elizabeth's arms. "My darling daughter," the woman smiled through her tears, one of her hands caressing Elizabeth's cheek, "My little Dianne, how I missed you so."

The lump in her throat kept her from speaking. Fortunately, the woman – her mother! Her real mother! – did not seem to mind and silently guided her to sit on the settee beside her. As soon as the two of them sat down, the man – her father! Her real father! – settled down on her other side.

"You have grown so much," Her father said, eyes glassy with unshed tears, "already looking like your mother."

Before Elizabeth could form a reply – not that she could without bursting into tears – Lady Catherine, who was watching the scene with a small smile while dabbing a handkerchief to her eyes, cleared her throat. "I apologise for interrupting your reunion, Sophia, but I think it would be best to explain everything to my Goddaughter now because I will be leaving first light on the morrow."

"We can explain things to our daughter on our own, Cathy. You need not worry yourself about it." The Duchess said, sparing a glance at Lady Catherine, before looking happily back at Elizabeth, her hands still holding Elizabeth's.

Lady Catherine sighed, "I know, Sophia, but I believe that your daughter would appreciate a familiar face while you explain everything to her."

"She is my daughter and she is safe with us. She can trust us."

Before they could argue further, the Duke spoke. "I assume that you have been tired by your journey, dear. Do you want to see your room?"

Now that it was mentioned, Elizabeth did feel exhausted. She and Lady Catherine did travel for three days straight, only stopping at inns to rest for the night until they break their fast in the morning and for necessary stops to rest the horses. Being stuck in a carriage ride for many hours was not exactly comfortable. And while she wanted to rest, a part of her could not leave the room yet. Not until she received a verbal confirmation from them.

So instead of immediately giving her answer, Elizabeth pulled out the golden hair comb from her pocket and held it out to them. "Grandma Claire told me that this was from my mother." With hopeful eyes, she met the gaze of her assumed parents. "Am I really your daughter?"

"Oh, darling," the Duchess smiled, "our physical resemblance was more than a proof that you are our little Dianne. If that's not enough, then the birthmark on your right hip which Cathy's lady's maid had confirmed was another proof."

Elizabeth quietly gasped at this. She did not know that the reason why Agnes attended to her was to confirm her identity.

"But I see that you are just like your father, always needing verbal confirmation. Do you know that your father had asked me to repeat my love confession twice before he finally believed that he's not dreaming?" She squeezed Elizabeth's hands in hers and Elizabeth felt herself let out a small smile. "As for your question, the answer is _yes_, we are your parents and you are our daughter."

She paused taking the hair comb from Elizabeth's hand. "This hair comb is especially made for you. You see, when I found out that I was pregnant, I was so certain that you're going to be a girl so I immediately designed this for you. Your father saw my sketch and he took it to a jeweller. Little did I know, your Godmothers **[1]** knew all about the scheme too. They gave your father the Emerald and Lapis stones. Since Amethyst is my favourite, your father provided that stone. We presented it to you the day of your christening. "

The Duchess laughed. "You were not able to use it yet, of course, but you do love playing with it. For safety measures, I would wrap the teeth of the hair comb with fabrics or ribbons before letting you have it."

Elizabeth could only stare at the hair comb in wonder.

"Now, come," Her mother said, looping her arms around her right one. "Your father and I will lead you to your chambers."

Before the two of them could start walking, her father offered his arm to her on her right side. "Can I escort my two beautiful ladies?"

She nodded shyly and let the couple lead her out of the drawing room and into a wide staircase.

"We will ask the servants to bring your trunks upstairs later." His father said. "Since Catherine had written to us that she finally found you, your mother and I filled your room with different necessities you might need. The smaller clothes you will find there are yours as well. We always purchase things for you at least once a month."

She wanted to ask why they would do that, when they were the ones who gave her away in the first place, but before she could open her mouth, they reached a tall mahogany door and her father opened it.

Once inside, Elizabeth gasped at the size of the room. It was almost thrice the size of her chambers at the Dower House. The walls were plain white but Elizabeth could barely see any of it for many paintings and portrait hung around the room. There was of one of horses, flowers, but what caught her attention the most was a painting of a babe. A familiar looking babe…

"You were only five months old in that," Her father spoke, upon seeing her staring at the portrait. "Your mother was not a very good painter but she could draw well with a pencil. When we thought we lost you, she started studying how to paint well. The portrait we decided to display in your room was her seventh try."

"It's beautiful…" Elizabeth whispered softly.

Her mother looked at her fondly, "Only because you are beautiful, darling. Your eyes were the hardest one to capture. Even as a babe it was your most striking feature. After all, as your Godmothers often said, you have the shape of my eyes and the eye colour of your father's – the best combination of our features."

Elizabeth, still unable to believe that she was not dreaming, could only nod her head in response before looking around the room again. A four poster bed with lavender and pink curtains was placed at the center of the room. On its right side, there was a nightstand. The other side was a tall shelf filled with books. Near the foot of the bed stood a pole screen **[2]** and a few feet away from it was the fireplace.

A draught screen **[3]** separated the bed from the left side of the room where the windows were placed. Covering the huge windows were more lavender and pink curtains. A light blue coloured chaise was also placed beside it. A few feet away from it was a mahogany writing desk and a light blue wing chair **[4]**. Writing materials – quills, bottles of ink, pen knives, papers and many more – were placed on top of the desk.

On the right side of the room, there was a wooden vanity desk with the theme of mahogany and gold and a clothes press with the same colour. A few feet away from it was another door where her mother led her. Elizabeth blinked twice at the sight of various clothing presented in front of her.

"The measurements of these clothes were based on my measurements when I was your age. I think they will fit you well but we'll get them adjusted to your exact size soon. I will send your Abigail here to help you get dress." Her mother said. "Then, you can get some rest before dinner."

"And I will be escorting you to dinner later." Her father smiled.

With one last embrace, her parents smiled at her before leaving the room.

**-p&p-**

Lady Catherine de Bourgh sighed in relief when Sophia and Leicester finally returned. Sophia was one of her dearest friends and Lady Catherine knew how much Sophia missed her daughter. However, spending the past few days with her Goddaughter has taught her that the poor nykin needed to learn the truth. Or else, Lady Catherine feared that her Goddaughter would still feel trapped despite being reunited with her parents.

"Now," Lady Catherine started, once the couple settled on the settee across her, "I know you feel guilty for giving your daughter away, Sophie, but she needed to learn everything now. Do you know that the poor girl had no idea about her parentage until less than a fortnight ago? And according to her, she wouldn't have found out about it if she had not overheard a conversation she was not supposed to."

The couple in front of her gasped in surprise and Lady Catherine paused for a few seconds before continuing. "She told me that no one would tell her anything and that made her decision to come with me so easily. We cannot protect the people we love if they do not have enough knowledge in what they need protecting from. Besides, I noticed that my Goddaughter doubts herself easily. Remember how she showed you the hair comb before she accepted the offer to go to her room? She wanted to hear you say that she _is_ your daughter."

With a stern voice, Lady Catherine proceeded. "Your daughter needed to know the real reason why you gave her away, Sophia. Otherwise, I believe that she would always doubt your love for her. I do not know much about the family she grew up in but I think that she grew up in a disagreeable household. I did tell you in my letter that Claire died when your daughter was only eight."

Sophia sighed sadly. "I understand what you are saying, Cathy. I was just hoping that my daughter and I could bond first. That way, I can get her to love me so when I revealed the truth, she wouldn't resent me. For what kind of mother gives away her child?" she asked tearfully. "And you say that she grew up in an unpleasant household?"

"It was just a speculation, Sophie. I have yet to find out." Lady Catherine assured her friend. "But you need not worry about your daughter's affections for you. I daresay that she would love you even more for telling her the truth. Honesty will be a good foundation for your relationship."

"Very well," Sophia nodded, "we shall all discuss it to her after dinner."

Lady Catherine smiled. "I am glad you listened to me, Sophie. I shall go to my room now." Before Sophie could offer to escort her to her room, she waved a hand at her friend in dismissal. "Do not worry about me for I still know my way around here. And if I ever need help, I will go to Mrs Tyson."

With that, Lady Catherine left the drawing room and headed upstairs, leaving the Duke and Duchess on the settee.

"What do you think, husband?" Sophia asked, turning to Arthur. "You have been very quiet through Catherine's explanation."

Arthur kissed his wife on the forehead. "While I would usually support whatever your decision is, my moon, I think that we should listen to Catherine regarding this one and tell our daughter the truth. We only just got her back and I do not want to lose her."

Tears fell down Sophia's eyes at the sadness in her husband's voice. She was the root of all this. She was the reason why her daughter had been separated from them. She decided then, that since she was the one who broke their family, she would be the one to fix it.

"After dinner," she promised her husband, "we'll tell her the truth."

It was time to fix her mistakes. They would tell their daughter the truth after dinner… even if it resulted with her daughter despising her.

**-p&p-**

Once her parents exited the room, Elizabeth decided to look around the room some more. Her feet led her first to the windows. She sat on the chaise and she smiled at the sight of the stars and the moon. Since it was a full moon, there was enough light for Elizabeth to appreciate the view below. It was a beautiful garden filled with many plants but only a few of them were in bloom. It will be winter soon after all.

She couldn't believe that this was her real home. The garden was bigger than any other garden she had seen before – not that she had seen many, for she had only seen the Lucases' the Bennets' and the Gardiners'.

After a few minutes, she finally managed to extract herself from the view and she walked to a wooden table in the far corner where a toy theatre was placed. She couldn't believe she missed it before. But then again, there are so many things in this room and Elizabeth felt that she had barely explored it all.

Before she could experiment with the toy theatre further, a knock sounded on the door.

"Come in," she said after walking towards the middle of the room.

Not a moment later, a girl with dark blonde hair and eyes, who appeared to be the same age as Elizabeth, entered the room and curtsied. "Good evening, Mademoiselle. My name is Chloe Paret. Her Grace told me that I am to be your lady's maid and I shall help you dress for dinner." She had an accent in her voice but she seemed to be good at speaking English.

"It's nice to meet you, Chloe." Elizabeth smiled. "Can you tell me more about yourself while you help me dress?"

"Oui, Mademoiselle, but you have to choose a dress first. Have you seen your closet yet?"

Elizabeth nodded "Only briefly though."

"Then we shall get started, Mademoiselle."

Choosing an evening dress for dinner was more fun than Elizabeth had expected. Chloe was very enthusiastic in helping her that Elizabeth had momentarily forgotten about her tiredness. Since her mother said earlier that Amethyst was her favourite stone, Elizabeth decided to change into a purple gown for dinner, only slightly lighter than the matching gown and cloak she had been wearing earlier when she arrived.

She partnered it with white gloves and white ribbon on the waist. For her hair, Chloe styled it in an elegant bun with a few loose curls. As the Abigail helped her get ready, Elizabeth learned many things about Chloe.

The girl was originally from France but her family went to England when Chloe was only twelve. Her mother worked as a modiste for one of the shops in Kent and when their mother died, Chloe and her elder sister, Claude, started working as lady's maids in one of the well-established family in Kent. Unfortunately, they were not treated fairly and the Housekeeper advised them to seek employment on the de Bourghs.

Lady Catherine found employment for Chloe's elder sister and now Claude was working as an Abigail for one of Lady Catherine's nieces. On the other hand, Chloe had worked as an upstairs maid in Rosings. Then, over two weeks ago, Chloe was sent here in Leicester.

"All I know was that I am going to be the lady's maid of a daughter of a Duke and Duchess. Then, three days ago, Mrs Tyson, the Housekeeper, told me that you'll be coming this day. I am so excited Mademoiselle." Chloe grinned at her through the mirror and Elizabeth smiled back at her.

Only a minute after Chloe had finished her hair, the bell for dinner rang. The lady's maid smiled at Elizabeth before doing a quick curtsey and exiting through the servant's door.

As Elizabeth looked at herself in the mirror, she now realised why Grandma Claire had always insisted on making her wear dresses made from expensive fabrics. It was so that she would not have a hard time adjusting once she was finally reunited with her parents. The cuts of the dresses on her closet were modest but fashionable. Thankfully, her mother seemed to share her style and there wasn't too much frippery and laces in her clothes.

Like the gown that Elizabeth saw her mother wearing earlier, her own dresses were made of high quality fabrics and looked simple yet elegant. Before she could study her reflection further, a knock brought her attention to the door.

Immediately, she rushed towards. Once open, the sight of her father smiling at her greeted her. "I will be escorting you to dinner."

Shyly, she smiled back at him and looped her arms through his. As they made their way to the dining room, Elizabeth could not help but admire everything they passed – the frames, the vases, the furniture, the high ceiling and the chandeliers.

"Do you like it?"

When Elizabeth nodded, her father smiled. "I am glad that you do, for this will be your home now."

Just as the thought of living in a grand house registered in Elizabeth's mind, they finally reached the dining room where her mother greeted them with a warm smile. "Come, my darling, you shall sit with me."

Her mother led her to the seat on the right side of the table and settled down next to her. Across her, Lady Catherine sat with a small smile and her father took his seat at the head of the table. Her mother turned to her friend and said, "Forgive us for not sitting properly, Cathy but you know that my husband and I would like to be close with our daughter."

Lady Catherine only waved a hand in dismissal, "Do not worry about it, Sophie. I am just happy that your family is whole again."

With a smile, her mother then turned to her. "I hope you are hungry, my darling, for I have asked the Cook to prepare a grand dinner."

As soon as her mother said that, servants started serving the meal. There were fish courses – Salmon and Mackerel – roasted hare, potted beef, soup, chicken, jelly, bread pudding, dried fruit nuts, small cakes, salad, iced oranges and wine.

After dinner, her mother led her towards the drawing room she and Lady Catherine entered earlier. Once they had all sat down, Elizabeth on a settee beside Lady Catherine and her parents on another settee across them, her mother cleared her throat. "Before we begin our life as a family, I believe that your questions should be answered first. Starting with the reason why you grew up away from us."

Elizabeth felt her breath hitched. This was it. The answers she's been searching for.

**-p&p-**

Arthur squeezed his wife's hand in reassurance. With a deep breath, Sophia looked remorsefully at her daughter. "It started with my family. My parents married each other because it was their parents' wish. However, my mother refused to be in a marriage with a man who doesn't love and respect her. So, once they were wed, she promised herself that she would do everything in her power to make her husband love her, or at the very least, respect her. Their first child was a boy. My brother only reached two years old before he died from chicken pox."

"After the death of their first son, my mother grieved for a whole year. I believe that it was the reason why my father started having an affair behind my mother's back. When my mother found out, she was hurt but she still forgave him, thinking that she was at fault for her husband's infidelity. They worked things out after that and my mother got pregnant again. She gave birth to another son. Unfortunately, the babe was stillborn. My mother did not know that. My father, however, did. He feared for my mother's reaction if she found out that another one of their children died. And so, he conspired with some servants to switch my brother with his son from his affair who was only a week older."

Sophia's eyes glaze, looking passed her daughter as she remembered her family's past. "We had no idea about the switch until eighteen years later, when my mother's Abigail overheard a conversation between my father and my half-brother's real mother. Naturally, she informed my mother about everything. My mother was hurt and she demanded to see her real son's grave. She grieved for him properly. Despite that, she did not treat my half-brother, Robert, any different. She loved all her children very much that she called for my siblings and me to meet her one night in her private drawing room. There, she told us about the truth of our family and made a point to Robert that he _is_ her son and that he _is_ our brother."

Dreading the next part of her story, Sophia squeezed her husband's hand. "Robert grew up with us without knowing the truth too and he loved Mama very much. He was also a very good elder brother. He was a good man all in all. My mother did raise him after all. The night my mother told us everything, she made us promise not to tell Robert's real parentage to anyone else. It was a secret we would take in our graves. Sadly, three years after that, Robert died in a carriage accident."

Tears escaped Sophia's eyes as she recalled the sudden death of her elder brother. "We were all surprised and hurt. We all grieved his death. And Robert's real mother, she blamed my mother for Robert's death. She said that my mother planned it so that my younger brother could claim my father's title. But it was not true. My younger brother, Daniel, did not have any interest in the earldom. He wanted to be in the army. He and Robert were very close too. All of us siblings were."

Sophia cleared her throat before continuing. "Unfortunately, Robert's real mother did not believe that. She vowed to get her revenge. For months all of us had been wary of our surroundings but nothing happened."

She paused. "But then, about a year after that, when my mother finally allowed gentlemen to call on me and my sister, a man named Samuel Paxton – the now Earl of Dorchester – wanted to court me. I did not want to, of course, for I was waiting for your father whom I've been meeting a couple of weeks before. However, since I knew that my father would scare Arthur away before we formed an attachment – seeing as he did not have a title back then – and Samuel Paxton was a Viscount then, I agreed to go on a few walks with him. One particular day, we encountered his step mother at the park and I was surprised to learn that she was Robert's real mother."

At the sound of her daughter's gasp, Sophia nodded her head. "I knew then that it was her plan for revenge and that she did not expect to meet me in the park that day. I was not hurt since I feel nothing for the Viscount but I was scared. I did not like the way the Countess looked at me and so I told my mother everything. She supported me in my decision in not accepting any calls from the Viscount and once Arthur asked for my hand in marriage a couple of months after, she persuaded my father to agree to the match. After all, he may not have a title but he did have a huge estate and a decent income."

Sophia sighed. "The Viscount did not take the news of my engagement well and he tried ways to separate your father and me. Luckily, he did not succeed in any of his schemes." She smiled lightly at her daughter. "I was the third one to wed within my group of friends and I was very happy with your father. To avoid any more schemes from the Viscount, your father and I decided travel around England, moving from one county to the next and stopping at your father's estate and visiting our friends every once in a while."

She paused, "Then, three years after our marriage, we were surprised to learn that your father will inherit the Dukedom of Leicester. You see, the current Duke back then had taken ill and there are no more male bloodlines to inherit. Your father was a distant relative and when the Duke died, the title was passed on to him. Since then, we stayed here in Rosewood Manor permanently."

When Sophia turned quiet and squeezed his hand, Arthur took it as his time to speak. "What we did not know was that Samuel Paxton, the Viscount who tried courting your mother, was also a candidate for the Dukedom. Unfortunately for him, I have a stronger claim to the title by one generation. You can only imagine his anger when he found out that not only had I married the woman he wanted to marry, but I had also claimed the title he so badly wanted. Things started going wrong then. He was mad. He worked with his step mother and tried to harm our family. I wanted to challenge him for doing so but I cannot do that without enough proof and without bringing scandal to our family."

He sighed and turned to his daughter. "One day, he successfully managed to corner your mother in the woods in one of our trips with friends."

"He…" Sophie continued, "H-he wanted me to come with him and leave your father. I fought with him and he failed. He said that your father cannot have everything. He then held out his gun. But my brothers taught me how to defend myself so I fought for the gun. As soon as I got his weapon I ran but I did not know that he has another gun. He aimed it but before he could pull the trigger, I shoot first. I closed my eyes as soon as I heard the gunshot. And when I opened them…" she trembled, "when I opened them, the sight that greeted me was a bloody little girl lying down on the ground. I killed his daughter. I killed an innocent soul."

Heavy tears poured out of Sophie's eyes at the recollection of the events and at the sight of her daughter crying from across her. "I did not know how she got there. I did not see her. I wouldn't have… I wouldn't…"

Seeing as his wife could not speak properly, Arthur, once again, took charge of telling the story. "We have proof that they caused your mother and her friends harm but I did not dare to take the case to court seeing as your mother's shot had killed his daughter. I thought that the death of his daughter had awakened something in him that will make him stop obsessing about our family. Besides, I couldn't risk your mother's health because she was pregnant with you at the time."

He paused. "On the fourth month of your mother's pregnancy, we thought we had lost you both. Unfortunately, your twin did not survive. But _you_ did." He told his daughter. "You were our little beacon of light. After that, your mother tried to forget what happened about the Viscount and slowly, she returned to her old self. She designed your hair comb, knitted you blankets and busied herself in preparing for your birth."

Sophia took a deep breath and prepared herself to tell her daughter the most momentous part of the story. "You were born much earlier than we expected and you were so small. The doctor did not expect you to survive the week but you proved him wrong. We were all so happy and for months we remained like that. Your Godmothers can't even bear to leave your side. But five months after your birth, I received a note. It said that 'You are going to lose your daughter too.' I was scared but I did not give you up."

She clenched her fist. "I knew I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I would die before they take you away from me. But two months after I received the note, the house we were staying on – a small estate in Yorkshire leased by your father – was caught on fire. Many people were injured. I knew then, that day, that the threat was real. We have no proof on who started the fire but I knew that it was _them._ A week after that, I asked a trusted servant to take you away. I told her not to bring you back to us because I will be the one coming for you. I ask her not to tell you anything about our family, in case it took years before we came for you. I gave her a list of the people you should stay away from – including the names of our family friends. I will not have them involve with our family affairs anymore."

Sophia looked at her daughter guiltily. "It was selfish of me because apart from keeping you safe, I know that a small part of me did it to stop the voices. I keep hearing them – telling me that I will never be a good mother to you because I killed an innocent little girl, someone else's daughter. Nightmares would plague my sleep. The little girl with a bloody dress would tell me that I do not deserve to be a mother… t-that I would k-kill you too. I know it was not a good reason and I am sorry."

Then, she stood up from her seat beside her husband to sit next to her daughter. "The blame is all on me. Your father did not have any idea until the night of your departure because I kept him busy with business matters. No one else knew about it. It was all on me." She cried, taking hold of her daughter's hand. "I understand if you resent me right now but please give our family a chance. I will not come in your way if it's what you want but I beg you… if you can find it in you to forgive me, at least treat me with some civility. For I cannot… I cannot…"

**-p&p-**

Elizabeth was startled at her mother's desperate plea. It saddened her that she had to spend most of her life away from her real family, yes, but after hearing the story behind it she understood that they were doing what they thought was best. Tears began streaming down her own eyes as she realised how much her mother loved her and how much her parents suffered.

After being in a family where she thought her mother despised her, Elizabeth felt her heart swell as she looked at her real mother, the woman who clearly loved her. She could sympathise with the nightmares and she knew from her own experiences that it was serious. "How can I forgive you," she started, "when there is nothing to forgive. You were only doing what you thought was right." Squeezing her mother's hand she said, "Please, do not cry anymore, mother."

It seemed that her mother loved hearing the word 'mother' from her as much as Elizabeth loved saying it, for through her tears, her mother beamed and pulled her into a warm embrace. "Oh, my darling Isabel," her mother cried, "My little Dianne, I do not deserve you."

Once they had both calmed down, her mother released her from the hug and Elizabeth spoke. "If you do not mind me asking, why did you search for me now? Why after so many years? I am not mad, perhaps a little sad, but I would like to know the reason."

Her mother nodded. "When your father found out that you were gone, he was so angry. He gathered his men to look for Maria Smith, the maid I entrusted you with."

At this Elizabeth stilled. That must be why Lady Catherine used the name. It should be a clue to the Gardiners that she was in safe hands. After all, the Gardiners did know that another person was supposed to care for her before Grandma Claire. They must've been at least familiar with the name.

"After two days of failed search, I finally told him what I did, that I was responsible for your absence. I told him about the threats and who I thought caused the fire. He was mad at me but he did stop the search the next day, saying that you wouldn't be safe if people knew that you were missing. So we talked to our servants to keep the information private. Instead, your father asked only our most trusted servants to join him on a search for you."

Her mother took a deep breath and with eyes filled with regret she confessed, "What your father did not know was that I deceived him. I did not give him the right direction which Maria Smith took. And I regret that decision every single day. I honestly thought that you would be safer away from us."

Elizabeth squeezed her mother's hand to continue.

"Two weeks after that, we heard news that Maria had been involved in a carriage accident in New Castle. We went there immediately only to find out that Maria was already dead. Apparently, the carriage she was riding overturned **[5]**. The passengers were flung everywhere and Maria's body drowned by the sea. We found your trunks and your things by the sea as well and we feared for the worse."

Her father looked at them with tears in his eyes. "We thought that you…" he cleared his throat, "We thought that you d-drowned and d-died, for there were a few others whose bodies had not been recovered. We searched for months but we could not find you. My relationship with your mother had not been the same since then. We both blamed ourselves for what happened. It took us another year to start mending our relationship and our family with the help of friends. She told me about the nightmares and I began seeing things in her point of view."

"Then," her mother said, "about five years ago, Maria's niece, Martha, came to us seeking employment. She brought with her the diary of her mother, Maria's sister. Martha showed us the diary and inside, we found letters from Alice Brown addressed to Maria. In those letters, we found out that you were in Alice's care and that Marie had managed to give you to her before she died. It turned out that Maria's sister did not seek us out earlier because she was afraid to get involved. When Maria's sister died, Martha had nowhere else to go and when she found her mother's diary, she immediately came to us."

Elizabeth's brows furrowed. "Alice Brown?"

Her mother nodded, "Yes, my darling. We do not know that her real name is Claire Bennet. She introduced herself to my family as Alice Brown. She was my governess and companion when I was young."

"At first, we could not believe it," said her father, "but it gave us hope. Two weeks after that, we found out that Samuel Paxton's step mother, the Dowager Countess of Dorchester, was ill. We took that as a sign to start searching for you. Since we did not want anyone to know yet, we did it secretly, starting with other counties here in the North since your mother remembered that Alice Brown had a small estate somewhere near."

Her father gestured to Lady Catherine. "A year after your mother and I started our search, along with selected and trusted servants, the rest of the family and your godparents found out about it and decided to do their own search. Two years ago, we discovered that Alice Brown's estate is in Scotland and we found out that she used another name there. From then on, we continued searching in Scotland."

For the first time since their conversation had started, Lady Catherine spoke. "Because everyone else was so preoccupied in searching the Northern counties, I decided to investigate the South. I started with Kent, then London, until my sources led me to Bedfordshire. Conveniently, I left my daughter on Hertfordshire and after months of searching the nearby counties, you were on Hertfordshire all along. Thank goodness for my meddling nephews and daughter that led me to you!"

Lady Catherine then turned to Elizabeth's parents. "Do you know that they all thought she was Lewis' bastard child?"

"Truly?" Her father asked.

"Indeed, Leicester. I shall tell you and Sophie about it later. But now, I believe that my Goddaughter needs to rest, do you not think?"

"Oh, yes, it is getting late. May I escort you to your room, darling?" Her mother asked and Elizabeth happily nodded.

"Forgive us for not being good hosts, Catherine, but I would like to join my wife and daughter."

Lady Catherine waved a hand at them dismissively. "Go on. I shall write to my siblings while you and Sophie are gone. I am just happy that my Goddaughter is finally where she ought to be." With those words, she took Elizabeth's hands and Elizabeth could not help but wrap her arms around the woman affectionately.

"Thank you for bringing me to my family, Lady Catherine." She said.

Lady Catherine immediately pulled away from her and frowned. "We are already passed formalities, nykin. Call me Godmother."

"Thank you," Elizabeth smiled, "Godmother."

Once Elizabeth and her parents reached the family wing, she entered her room while her parents entered her private drawing room next to it. She rang the bell for Chloe and the Abigail helped her change into a nightgown, which Elizabeth covered with a thick robe. After all, it was colder here than in Hertfordshire.

A few minutes after Chloe left through the servant door, her parents knocked on the connecting door separating her bedroom and the drawing room. To her surprise, her mother walked straight to her bed and opened the blankets for her. Shyly, she lay down on the bed and smiled at her parents.

"I know this has been a very trying day for you, darling, but thank you for giving our family a chance." Her mother said, smiling tearfully. "If you feel like we are hovering over you too much, then just say so. We are just… we cannot believe that you are finally home."

Elizabeth smiled. "It's alright, mother. I do not mind your presence. But I do have a question, though."

"What is it?" Her father asked.

"Is this Samuel Paxton still after us? Why does it seem like I am still in danger? Godmother did take extreme measures to bring me here – we switched carriage and change our names at every inn."

Her mother sighed. "He has not bothered us for quite some time now but we have reason to believe that we may be in danger because he has poisoned the rest of his family against us. And while we are unsure about it, we feel that it is better to be safe. His step mother is still alive after all. But the main reason for our worry was because a former employee of your other Godmother was caught talking to Samuel Paxton. We fear that the employee may have shared information about you to him. That's why we are more cautious than ever."

"I understand." Elizabeth said. "Thank you for being honest with me."

"You have nothing to thank us for, darling," her mother smiled, running her fingers through her hair.

"You deserve the truth, daughter." With that, her father kissed her on the forehead followed by her mother.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and smiled. She had yet to process the things she'd learned today, yes, but she was glad to know that she had caring parents. A family who loved her…

* * *

**[1]** A female child was to have two female and one male godparent or sponsor, while a male child was to have two male and one female godparent or sponsor.

**[2]** Pole screens served an important function in the 18th century: The tall thin screens shielded people's faces from the direct heat of the fire.

**[3]** Room screens, also known as draught screens, have been used since medieval times as a protection against draughts. Thought of as a necessity, they partitioned off long halls and kept draughts from entering too close to the heated portion of the room. They could also serve as protection against too much sun in the summer in a room that faced west.

**[4]** Wing chairs served a dual purpose, conserving heat and protecting the sitter from draughts

* I included items 3, 4 and 5 in Lizzy's room because it's colder in the North and I want to use the items in her room to imply how her parents wanted to be with her very much that they made sure that she would have everything she needed.

**[5] **The carriage incident Maria experienced was based on one hideous stage coach crash in 1833 the Quicksilver coach overturned as it was leaving Brighton. Passengers were flung out into the gardens along the Steine and impaled on the spiked railings.

**Note:** In Chapter 14 Lady Lucas said that she believes Elizabeth was given to Claire before she turned seven months old. In Chapter 16, Thomas Bennet said that Elizabeth's size as a babe was smaller than most babes her age. In short, Lady Lucas's assumption is wrong and Elizabeth is much older than seven months. In this Chapter, it is revealed that she was given to Claire before she turned eight months.

Elizabeth is four months older than little Thomas (her supposed 'twin') but the ruse work because babes during this time period mostly stay in the nursery and in Chapter 16, they made stops in other counties before going back to Hertfordshire.

Now most of your questions about _the list_ are answered. One, not all people in the list are bad guys. Two, half of the people in the list are actually allies. Did Claire Bennet know? I'll spoil you guys now, No, she did not. A future chapter will explain what exactly happened – how Lizzy was passed unto Claire – but for now, at least you guys know that the Gardiners, Lucases and Claire were honest about their intention of protecting Lizzy.

**Further Notes: **

*Titles and people in this story are mostly made up.

*About Samuel Paxton – as you can see in Sophia's backstory, this man was mad for not getting what he wanted (Sophia and the title of Duke) so he was set on revenge and when his daughter died, he decided to take his anger Sophia's daughter which is Lizzy. (Yeah, I know it seemed that I have a thing for writing characters that are sick in the head). More info about him will be shown in the future chapters and why exactly did he became obsessed with the Leighton family and Sophia in particular.

* Samuel Paxton's step mother is also the mother of Robert, Sophia's half-brother and we'll see more about her in further chapters. We'll also see why Samuel Paxton's daughter was there with him.

*Why Sophia and Arthur didn't just file a case against Samuel Paxton? One, as mentioned in the story, they did not have enough evidence against him. Also, things could go wrong for them, seeing as Sophia (though accidentally) did cause the death of Paxton's daughter. Two…

English criminal trials from the late seventeenth to the early twentieth centuries were very different from those of today. Trials were quick, lawyers were rarely present, and prosecutors, judges, and jurors exercised considerable discretion in how they interpreted the law. There were some changes to trial procedures during the eighteenth century, and change quickened significantly during the 1820s. Several nineteenth-century reforms improved conditions for the defence, but defendants still operated under severe disadvantages.

Before 1829, London did not have a police force in the modern sense of the term. The responsibility for reporting crime, and in large part for identifying the culprits, fell on the victim. Once the accused was arrested, they were examined by a magistrate, either in the magistrate's own house or more publicly in "rotation offices" such as the one established by Thomas De Veil at Bow Street. (If you are interested in these things, go to . )

Also, I've learned that many people can get away from their crimes, heck even today those things happen. Take Catalina de los Ríos y Lisperguer for example. She was investigated for the deaths of 40 servants and slaves in her property, but she was never tried or convicted. She died of natural causes in 1665.

Even if they did file a case against Samuel Paxton, it did not mean that he would be punished. Take Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed as an example. Báthory has been labeled by Guinness World Records as the most prolific female murderer, though the precise number of her victims is debated. Báthory and four collaborators were accused of torturing and killing hundreds of young girls and women between 1590 and 1610. The highest number of victims cited during Báthory's trial was 650. However, this number comes from the claim by a servant girl named Susannah that Jakab Szilvássy, Báthory's court official, had seen the figure in one of Báthory's private books. The book was never revealed, and Szilvássy never mentioned it in his testimony. Despite the evidence against Báthory, her family's importance kept her from facing execution. She was imprisoned in December 1610 within Castle of Csejte, in Upper Hungary (now Slovakia). [this article is from Wikipedia]

Why wasn't Lizzy found sooner? One, the Leighton family only has selected employees joining them for the search along with Lizzy's Godparents and their own bunch of selected servants. Two, since almost all of them are noblemen; they have position and responsibilities in society that they have to work on, so along with their search for Lizzy, they're all busy. Three, Claire had done her best in protecting Lizzy by creating fake traces of her whereabouts as well as false identities. Four, Lizzy have limited freedom, and when she did went out in Town, she always wears a cloak to cover her face – a face that looked very much like her mother. Five, they thought she was somewhere hidden in the North. Samuel Paxton later became the Earl of Dorchester. Dorchester is in the South. Why would they think that Claire would hide Lizzy somewhere near the enemy?

I might've missed other reasons but I'll be happy to share it in other chapters. This AN is getting too long.

**Coming Up:**

What's happening with the Darcys, Elizabeth's name, more family info with the de Bourghs, Darcys, Fitzwilliams and Lizzy's family. Also more info about Claire Bennet and the comb.

**Author's notes:**

Now that mostly everything is revealed (apart from some missing pieces and other background info which will appear from time to time in the next chapters) I hope you guys are satisfied with the reasoning. The next chapters will focus on character development and family bonds. Perhaps a bit of some action too ;)

I do hope that you are enjoying this story and thank you for sticking with me this long. I never thought that this story would reach more than 100 000 words but here it is. Hopefully I can finish this ASAP because other stories are waiting to be posted. After this, I'll focus on "Proving Him Wrong" and then we'll see new stories.

BTW, sorry for not replying to your reviews yet, I will do my best once I've adjusted my time in this online schooling. Take care, guys :)

Thank you for the support, follows, reviews and favourites. Have a good day!


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